I'm Off!!

I'm feeling much better after my venting last night. Thanks for letting me get it out. The tile picture turned out just fine...just a few small dimples in the epoxy, so NO WORRIES!

I have been running around today to get the final things done before we leave. I'm so excited! I plan on taking a ton of pics so that my blog won't be so "blah" anymore. I will try to remember the stuff we do, but most likely I'll just come back and say, "What a fun trip...we did a bunch of stuff, and now it's good to be home!" Just watch!

Story of the day:

Yesterday while I was working on my tile picture, my mom took my youngest brother and Cameron to Walmart to buy some seeds for my brother's garden. While my mom and brother were wandering around the garden center looking for things, Cam wandered to the door marked: "Don't touch...alarm will sound..." Pretty soon my mom and brother heard the alarm sounding and Cam walking back to them rather quickly with his hands over his ears saying, "It's too loud!" They had to call the store manager to stop the alarm and when he got there the alarm wouldn't turn off. My mom was in stitches! I would have been embarrassed to no end. I just hope that he doesn't do that again...hopefully it's a lesson learned!

Not a Good Night to be Out and About

I'm so annoyed right now. I have to get it out of my system.

My husband worked tonight so that he could get some hours this week before we take off. So I ended up with the van while I was at my parents' house for family home evening. Earlier today I decided that I wanted to make a quick tile picture for his aunt and uncle as a thank you for staying at their house...twice now. So I quickly painted the board, glued on the picture and poured the goop on the board, making sure there weren't any bubbles, dust, or any boo-boos whatsoever. I had it all ready and was hoping to take it home with us...hoping that the goop would be set up enough to travel. I was having a good time until I realized that I needed to leave to get Steve from work. I said my good-byes, grabbed the picture, and left. I tried to stabilize the picture on some cups inside of a box lid. That worked fine until I turned the corner, then it crashed to the floor. I was so upset, but I hurried to his work so that I could hop out of the van and fix the mess. We got to his work 15 minutes before he was scheduled to get off, so I turned on the DVD player for Cam and set to work stabilizing the picture in a different spot. I found one that was more stable and waited for him to get off.

While I was goofing off with the cell phone in the van, Steve knocked on my window and shocked me. He told me that it would be another 20 minutes because his replacement was just getting dressed and was going to be walking there. I asked him if he wanted me to go and get her, and he said he did...so he went to get specific directions so that I could get her and speed up his quitting time. He mouthed to me from the drive-thru window that it was the first left and then the first right. So I took off expecting her to be out walking and waiting for me. I drove to the area and there was NO ONE around! I was frustrated, so I called his work and ended up on the phone with a new girl. She told me that he was busy at the moment and that she'd have him call me in 5 minutes. I was still stuck and lost in a neighborhood I didn't know, so I drove around hoping that we would see her walking down the road. No such luck. I drove around for 15 minutes and couldn't find her. So I ended up going back to his work and he told me that it was the first left then the first right on the left side of the road. I was off again! I went to the same road and slowly went down looking at every door in those apartments and she waved me down. I hurried and turned around and got her there. I was expecting about a 5 minute delay as they switched information and he could leave, but no...I ended up waiting another 30 minutes. Cam kept asking when we could go home and I got more annoyed by the minute. So by the time Steve got out to the van I was thoroughly upset. We hurried home and as I pulled into the alleyway leading to our garage Steve started complaining that our garage door was broken again and I let into the poor guy! I told him that you just have to be careful with it...I mean, it's 30 or 50 years old and it deserves some love and care. So he humored me (smart man!) and I pulled in. As soon as the car was turned off Cam was unbuckled and on the picture that I had SO carefully placed so it wouldn't move on the drive home. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! I wanted to scream and yell and throw a fit! He stepped ON the picture...ON the not-so-dried goop!! Luckily Steve was there to help calm me down and the only thing wrong was a small speck of dirt on the top part...I pulled it out, but made it dimpled in the process.

So that was my night...I know you're probably thinking I'm way too sensitive, and I admit, you're right, but I just needed a place to vent and hopefully CALM down before I go to bed. I feel much better...thanks for listening...or ignoring me...whatever you chose to do!

Spring Break is Finally Here

It's finally here. We've been planning and communicating with family for months now and the appointed day is just a few short days away! We're leaving on our first official family vacation! Cameron has been asking us daily if it's time to go on our trip and we have to patiently remind him that it will be very soon. We've got the family notified and we will be leaving this Wednesday, bright and squirly, going to Boise for a day, and then we'll be off to Moscow to see Steve's grandparents. We are hoping to catch up with most of his aunts and uncles in the Boise vicinity before heading off on our STINKIN' long drive to his grandparents' home. Last summer we went the same way for a family reunion and it's a gorgeous drive, but it's very windy and hilly. I'm not looking forward to the curves and turns (I get very motion sick!) but I am VERY excited for the trip. Yesterday we went to the store for a while to gather some last-minute items that we will be needing to keep our sanity cramped in our vehicle with a whiny child.

We were hoping that we would be able to catch a session at a temple along the way, but I don't think that we will be able to. Finding a babysitter shouldn't be hard, but finding the time might cause a problem. My only disappointment for this trip is that we will be missing most of General Conference. I always look forward to hearing the words of our church leaders and filling my reservoir with their words of encouragement and the lessons that they want to instill in us. We will be watching it after we get home, but it's not quite the same as hearing it the same time that thousands or even millions of members are hearing the same message!

This weekend for us was a relaxing and fun one. Along with the last-minute shopping we spent some time with my family and serving in church. Steve had to sing a solo today in sacrament meeting and it was gorgeous (like I knew it would be.) Then I went to Primary to do my weekly duty as the Primary chorister. I love going to Primary! I don't think that in the years since I have turned 18 that I have been in Relief Society more than a year. I've spent most of my adult life in Primary and I wouldn't have it any other way! How can you pass up the chance to teach those eager children the gospel? I find joy in their eagerness (or in the case of the older boys, their indifference) and love to sing the songs that bring my life peace and contentment! There are times when I feel overwhelmed, but knowing that these children were recently (more recent than I anyway) come from our Heavenly Father's presence just makes me in awe of their spirits. I love Primary!

Putting Out the Cat

Let me give you some background information before I get to my story of the day. I live in an OLD townhouse apartment building that is attatched to 27 others in a long straight line. They are pretty much identical in every way: the bedrooms on the top floor, the living area on the main floor, and the garage/basement which is accessible by an alley way in the back. Before I went to sleep last night I saw a beautiful black cat wandering to the neighbors' doors looking for a home and maybe some food. We do NOT have any pets at the moment...they're too expensive and messy for my lifestyle.

A few years ago we were enjoying a lazy Sunday morning...cuddling in bed before it was time to get ready for church and Cam decided that he wanted to leave our comfy bed for his toys. On the way to his room he stopped at our door and asked me, "Why's that kitty here?" He was just learning how to talk and I thought that I had misunderstood him, so I got up to see what he was talking about. Sure enough, there was a cat in our hallway. I was baffled. Our apartment was locked up tight, and there were no holes into our home that I knew of. I noticed that our linen closet was open and we had blankets strewn everywhere. I know that in the back of the closet there is a hole where the plumber can get access to our bathtub, and this cat had figured a way to move between apartments through this space. She was known to the neighbors as a Houdini of sorts because she'd sneak into other apartments from her own linen closet.

Now, to this morning and my reason for all the background information....Early this morning I was drifting between the real world and the dream one, when I could have sworn that I heard the strong meowing of a cat. I heard it once and thought it was just a dream, so I ignored it. Then as I was drifting off again I heard it sharper and clearer which CONVINCED me that there was a cat in our apartment. I immediately jumped out of bed announcing to Steve that there was a cat in our apartment and proceeded to turn on all of the lights to find it. I wandered around the entire upstairs before I realized that I was dreaming the whole thing! The linen closet was closed and all was well. So I wandered back to bed and told my husband that I was crazy and that he should ignore me. He then told me that he loved me anyway. When I asked him about it later on this morning, he said he didn't remember a thing about it and that he can't be held accountable for things he says in his sleep. Good thing he said the right thing! I just have too good of an imagination!

Pretty eMotional Stuff

I have another confession to make...I don't handle PMS very well. One of my friends refers to me as a PMSer, someone who gets PMS hard and heavy! Lately I have felt VERY emotional. Anything the kids (including my husband) do puts me on edge. It got so bad that the other night and I got so upset with Steve that I fought with him for several hours. I knew when I was arguing that it wouldn't do any good, but when I get in those emotional states it's hard to stop me. I've NEVER handled PMS well though. Any small thing will send me into an angry mood. Then in the end I will be bawling my eyes out. My sister and I determined that even though it's not official we both have that PMDD (Premenstral Dysmorphic Disorder.) I've always been grouchy when it comes to that time, but since I haven't been regular for years I haven't had to worry about it. But lately I've noticed it more and more.

Other than drugs does anyone have some helps for me? I've tried drugs and they work, but they make me groggy and gives me more of the physical symptoms. I know that my husband and son would greatly appreciate it if I got some good suggestions.

I just ran across this quote...It seemed HIGHLY appropriate!! I need to put it on a pillow or something, "The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!!"

I did have a good day today though. I went to my first enrichment activity. We learned the ins and outs of making good rolls. I've tried this recipe before, but my rolls turned out small and like little rocks, so I asked what might have gone wrong. They said it's all in the yeast. Now that I know what kind of yeast is good I'm excited to try it again! I'm so excited!

Anyone Else Having Problems?

I've been trying to comment on one of my friend's blogs, but for some reason blogger is being stoopid! It won't let me comment. Then today I've been looking at my blog and I can't see my sidebar, no matter how many times I try to refresh or re-open my page. Am I the only one? What's going on with this site? Is it just me? Aaaaahhh! Frustration!

Phonophobia

I finally bit the bullet and went to the drug store and got the medicine that my doctor prescribed for me last month. It took some work, because I knew that we wouldn't be able to afford $100 plus a month it would take to get the meds in the first place and I needed to call the doctor to see what they could do to help me. Well, the thing about me is that I have this very strange affliction when it comes to the phone...I'm afraid of it. I know, I know...how can someone who LOVES to blog be terrified of a stupid machine?

I think part of my phobia came from when I was harassed on the phone as a child. I was called by some very strange people and these creepy guys told me things that most people shouldn't hear. So when I call people now, in the back of my mind I think I am always afraid that the person that I am talking to will hurt me in the same ways that those few people did when I was younger. And you'd think that over the years the fear would have lessened, but, no. I still get that gripping fear that overwhelms me to the point that I get physically sick and if I don't have to call someone, I won't. Like when I have to get ahold of my ladies for visiting teaching, I grab them at church rather than calling them on that dreadful thing.

I knew that I needed this medication if I want to get pregnant again and the only way I could do that was to call the doctor's office. So I debated and fought my natural instinct and called the office. They changed my prescription to something cheaper and I felt RELIEF! It was over...for the moment anyway, until I need to call someone else. Is there anyway to get over my irrational fear? Or will this malady affect me until the day I die? Is there any help for a phonophobe like me?

I Hated Potty-training!

Okay, so I was chatting with a friend today and she reminded me of an unforgettable memory about when I was potty-training Cameron. I just have to share...it's very blog-worthy! Be forewarned, this is pretty disgusting...for those of you with weak constitutions, DO NOT READ!

I was having a hard time getting Cam to recognize that when he needed to go potty, that he needed to tell me and not just go in his pants. So I was trying all kinds of methods that other moms had told me worked for them. The one I was trying that day happened to be the "let-your-kid-run-around-in-only underwear-so-that-they-don't-mess-up-perfectly-cleaned-pants." I figured that if he went in his underwear it was way easier to clean up than pants AND underwear. I often let him wander alone in our apartment and he would usually go upstairs by himself and play in his room. While he was upstairs I was talking with our service coordinator about Cam's therapies and school. As soon as we were finished talking, I walked her to the door and called for Cam to come down the stairs to say good-bye. At this age he wasn't just walking down the stairs, he would bounce down them on his bum. He started at the top stair and bounced his little bottom down. When he was half-way down I realized that he wasn't just bouncing his bum, but a loaded pair of underwear too. He had pooped and was smearing each step with his own signature! I was so disgusted! I think our service coordinator was thoroughly disgusted too. She quickly left and I was stuck with this gross mess. I thought I would be prepared when I started this experiment by having a can of Spot Shot on hand, but I quickly realized how unprepared I really was. It took one full can...plus another one that I had to buy later that day! I was stuck at my house without a car and so I called my mom in a panic to beg her to come and get me so that I could get some more Spot Shot and clean up the mess. I know that she was trying her hardest NOT to laugh at me. Looking back I can still remember the disgust, but I'm glad some time has passed, because now I can see the humor in the situation. So for those of you starting the potty-training process....DON'T DO THIS METHOD!! IT DOESN'T WORK!!

Joining the 21st Century

Okay, so I'm done with my frustration over Dora. I guess I don't hate Dora as much as I hate the quirks it gives my son. I like the fact that Dora teaches other languages and learning skills, but the standing, yelling, and touching the tv are just plain annoying! I was even so annoyed with Dora that I looked up some anti-Dora sites and I realized that my frustration is just that...frustration. I don't have the same seething hatred that some other people have. Thank goodness!

This weekend was a fun one. I don't know if you noticed that I haven't updated my blog for a couple of days, it's because I forced myself to stay off and enjoy my husband's rare weekend off and spend quality family time together. We did some last minute preparations for our upcoming family trip next week. We hit a doorbuster sale and I finally relented and got a cell phone. I've been very anti-cell phones for a while. I was hoping to get a pay-as-you-go phone, but I gave into Steve's begs and we got on a plan. I've been giving into his wants a lot lately. Lucky man!

I found out on Friday that my sister and her husband had come up for a visit. I was hoping to go and talk with them for a while, but they were busy and I was stuck at home for a while. Luckily I did get a quick visit in before they had to go home.

We even had a date night this weekend with my cousins. It was so fun! We laughed A LOT!! We laughed so much and so hard that my head hurt afterward! I love refreshing myself with others and just having a good time!

On a final note, I'd like to say, "Hi!" to all of my new readers, which finally includes my hubby! I just love reading other people's blogs and finding a part of myself in their day-to-day activities, I hope others find the same in my writings! I'd like to post a link to your blogs on my page, so please let me know if you don't want me to. I'm too much of a people pleaser to hurt anyone's feelings. I just hope you all enjoy going along for the ride!

I'm on a Rant...Watch Out!

I should have no problems finding something in my meager wardrobe that is green. Most of my clothes are green, or have some bit of green in them. I can't help it that I love green! I'm just happy to "celebrate" this holiday by wearing my favorite color! That's the good news of the day, now for the bad...

Rant of the day:

Okay, I have gone long enough without letting my true feelings out! I HATE DORA THE EXPLORER!! Every morning when I get up my son, without fail, will turn on the tube and there staring us back in the face will be that big-headed girl. It's not so much the animation of that show that I despise, but the things they convince your kids that they have to do. I don't like the fact that she asks the kids watching to scream back to the television. She'll say something and ask the kids to repeat, then she'll ask them to say it louder. So now we have kids yelling at the tv, isn't that enough? Nope, not for Miss Dora-pants, now we must have them stand up the entire time they are viewing her show. She tells them to stand up to do something and then she forgets to sit them back down. So here I am, watching this ANNOYING show with my son where he's standing up and screaming at my tv. The other thing I can't stand is the fact that since this is an "interactive" show, she asks the kids where people, or characters are...usually they're hiding (probably trying to avoid Dora at any cost.) Anyway, so I will clean the little fingerprints off of my screen and the next day when I go to watch one of my shows there are tiny fingerprints on the screen again, and usually they're all clustered together from Cam pointing to the same spot like 20 times before his beloved Dora finally acknowledges his guess. Why do we want our kids watching this stuff? I don't know why I put up with it everyday. I guess it's because I love my son, more than I hate Dora, in either case I guess I just need to deal with it.

I'm Mrs. Get-things-fixed, Don't Mess With Me!

I just feel like such a strong woman. I had someone fix our van (did I mention that it finally works?) And today I had to call our landlord to have our apartment fixed up. I feel like I personally did all of these things and like I should be proud of myself, but I know that I really had nothing to do with it. I'm just glad to have things working the right way again.

I have been deeply cleaning our house lately. I think it's because I'm really excited. This last weekend Steve finally convinced me to get new furniture. We bought some nice new couches and I am so excited for them to come that I've been cleaning the areas where the new couches will be. I've gone through our "pile" places (those places where we stash papers and things that we don't want to deal with at the time.) I'm so excited for furniture that we will be able to sit on and not sink all the way to the floor. I've been asking around to see if anyone is in dire need of couches so I can get rid of our old ones, but everyone seems to turn me down. Obviously they know what they would be getting themselves into if they had our old stuff. We're pretty excited and will continue to let you know what's going on!

Happy Day!!

I am so excited! Our van is officially fixed. We have been sharing custody with the auto shop for the last few days, it's been rough! But after weeks of head scratching we've finally figured out what was wrong with the thing. I'm so excited. I was worried about getting it fixed in time for us to go visit Steve's grandparents in Moscow (not Russia, Idaho) at the end of the month. Now all that's left with it are the little things, lube, tire check...the "easy" stuff!

After that snow storm this morning the snow melted rather quickly. Now we have a small flood in the basement/garage. So when I go to do the laundry I have to do some fancy footwork to avoid getting wet feet. It's okay, it happens all the time. I guess that's what you get when you live in an old apartment!

I have been having fun looking up several friend's websites today. I haven't done that for a while and I'm glad that I took the time today. It's fun to see what's going on in their lives when we're all spread out all over the country!

March Snows

This was the view I have outside of my bedroom window...I thought it was GORGEOUS!! So I just had to snap some pictures of it. I know it's the middle of March, but this is too pretty to be too upset over the snow. When I took Cam out to the bus this morning we had to wade through 2 or 3 inches. I had cold feet, but it wasn't too bad. I'm still hoping that the snows will melt soon so that spring can start, but hey, when life gives you snow, make a snowman!

Red Kid Group

Today was a busy one. We found out that our van isn't fixable by the people who have been working on it. They have one more thing to try before they give up and send it to the Ford dealership. Not much fun, but it will be fixed one way or another.
I did get to play with Cameron and the little girl we watch for a little while before all of my running around. Funny enough, we were all wearing red today. It's nice when we match!

We did have a fun time throwing things...in a "controlled" environment. (Cam's room)

I did a lot of running around today though. I dropped Steve off at work, then ran Cam to speech therapy, then I took the van for a "test" drive to see whether the cruise control was working (it's not), then I went shopping for some stuff, then I ran back to speech to pick up Cam, then we went to get my herbs, and rent a movie from Clean Flicks, then we hurried to pick Steve back up from work. I felt like I lived in the van today! It wasn't the best use of my time, but sometimes you've gotta do what you've gotta do!

Right now things have calmed down. I really like it when it's just me and my small family. I enjoy babysitting, but I really enjoy the peace I get when it's just the three of us at home. Ah, peace!

Van Issues

We've been having van problems since we bought the blasted thing last month. The first thing we noticed was that the door sensor was not working, then the next day we noticed that the power locks didn't work for all of the doors. We were frustrated, so we called the dealer and he referred us to a place that is just down the street from where we live. Well, they looked at it and decided that they needed to order parts for it and they would let us know when we could bring it back to get fixed...the call never came. So after Steve's fun drive to Pocatello last week and the discovery of yet another problem (this time the cruise control) we decided that we needed to call them and see what was going on. When I called them back the guy I had been talking with told me that he had been on vacation and had assumed that the problem had been resolved while he was gone. He felt bad and told us that we could bring it in today. Anyway....they looked at it and found out that this van has serious wiring issues. So the guy bought another van (same make and model, but a few years older) and will take the parts that he needs off of that to fix it. Hopefully after tomorrow this van will be the van of our dreams!

I can't tell you how much I love seeing my family! I know that family is the most important thing in our lives...after everything else is gone, all we have left is the love of our families. I think that's why I'm so glad to know that my family is a forever family! Anyway, tonight we went to my parent's house for dinner and Family Home Evening and just laughed and had fun! I haven't done that for a long time! We were joking and making one-ups the whole night! I love my family! Did I mention that my family is great and that I love them?? Because I do!

This picture of Cameron and my brother was taken years ago...I don't exactly remember when, but it was pre-glasses. He had taken these old sunglasses and popped the lenses out and would walk around like he was cool. Then my brother, Shad, pulled his pants clear up to his armpits and, voila, instant nerd!

Quote of the Day:
"I'd rather hunt with Dick Cheney than ride with Ted Kennedy."

I'm a Klutz

Let me start off with a quick memory, this will help set up the background information for what happened to me the other day. When I was younger we lived VERY close to the church that we went to...it was only a block away. So when we had activities going on during the week Carrie and I would walk there, joking and laughing the whole way. One night we were on our way there when I decided to walk backwards in the gutter. I didn't realize what was up ahead, but I ended up walking into a parked car. I know it was one of those times when Carrie laughed really hard at me that night (one of many, many, MANY times growing up!) I was so klutzy that I hurt myself walking into a car that wasn't even moving!

If you are a frequent reader, then you know about me playing with Cam and the little girl we babysit. I was rolling around on the ground and I mentioned that I had hurt myself. I think I hurt myself pretty badly! When I went to lift Cameron up on my legs I heard and felt a small pop above my right leg. All day yesterday it hurt anytime that I tried to get up quickly or lift anything heavy. I asked my mom what it could have been, and she said that it sounded like I gave myself a hernia. I sure hope that it's not that...I can't afford it! I guess either way I'm gonna have to get used to the pain of being a klutz!

My infertility story

I know...you probably weren't expecting to hear from me for a really long time since I posted THREE times yesterday, but I can't help myself....I'm now a Blog-aholic too! I even went exploring other blogs yesterday and found one that I related to fairly well. She talked about her infertility problems and I guess I'm just a softy (or I'm hormonal) but I got very moody when I read about her struggle to get pregnant. I guess I could tell my story, but I may just get emotional again...it's been such a struggle for me and it's kinda hard to tell without getting frustrated over it, but here goes. (Maybe it will be therapeutic for me!)
When Steve and I decided it was time to get pregnant with our son we had prayed and gone to the Temple and felt that it was the time to try. We really hadn't planned on having a baby right away, heck, we'd only been married for a little over a month. But we felt that if the Lord was telling us that it was time, that we had better listen. So we tried. I do remember the frustration after the first month and finding a negative result on the test. It's kinda funny to look back and see how frustrating I had been after so short a time, but I got over it quickly and we tried again. By Valentine's Day of 2000, I was having the symptoms of being pregnant, but I believed that it was PMS, and not pregnancy. So when I had taken the test and saw the results I had to take another one to confirm it. So after only 3 or 4 months of trying I was pregnant. So as for getting Cameron here, it happened very fast!
After Cam was a year old, we decided to start trying...not necessarily "trying," but not preventing anything if it were to happen. We started out that way for a while and funny enough, most of my cousins were trying at the same time. About the time they all got pregnant, I was a bit frustrated. Babies were born all around us, but none were coming to us, so we were upset and frustrated with the whole situation.
After 2 years of trying I was having other problems and decided that I HAD to go to the gynecologist. When I went to see him I told him that we had been trying to get pregnant for 2 years and he prescribed Clomid. For those of you who don't know about Clomid, it's a fertility drug which causes your body to ovulate. He gave us a four month dose and said that if it didn't work after this to come back and he'd work with us. I don't have any health insurance, so going to the doctor wasn't a cheap thing. I went immediately out of the doctor's office with a lighter step and a happier out-look. I thought that this would be the end of my problems. I went and filled the prescription and about fainted with the price of these 5 pills....$60!! We couldn't afford that, but we decided to make sacrifices so that we could make our small family grow. We went through the different months of taking the Clomid and found that it just made us more frustrated than before. I HATED taking that medicine. I felt pregnant every month, but it was only a side-effect of the drug. Not only was I feeling pregnant, but it caused me to be extremely mean and moody. There was one point where I was so mad at Steve that I hit him. I don't say that because I'm proud of it, but to let you know how horrible this drug made me.
After that ran out I didn't want to go back to the doctor. I had been told by 2 different people that they knew of someone who had seen this herbologist and had their eyes read and they got pregnant very fast. I figured that herbs were more natural than those hormones had been, so I went in for a try in February of 2005. She read my eyes and told me things that I mostly knew about myself, but didn't really want to think about. She put me on several herbs and told me to come back when things started working again. I went to see her for a few months before things started working like clockwork again. Then she told me that my body was about ready to get pregnant and to let me know when it happened.
In May of last year I had to help my mom get things ready for our annual camping trip on Memorial day, so I ended up packing and shopping...doing all of the things that she normally did. I overworked myself that weekend and on that Sunday, while we were in town for church, I had a miscarriage. I didn't react the way that you probably would have expected, I was thrilled. I had tried and tried for a long time and finally I had gotten pregnant. Steve and I weren't broken like I had thought. I didn't know that I was pregnant, or I'm sure I wouldn't have taken it as well as I did. I went to tell my herbologist about it and she was excited for us too. Then I stopped going for a while, mostly because people told me that after a miscarriage they got pregnant right away and I hoped the same would go for me.
Well, here I am 4 years into trying for number two and I'm still waiting. After I took my last pregnancy test my husband had me call several doctors to see what could be done for us, and I ended up going to one of them, and I found out that I have insulin resistance and that is most likely the culprit for my infertility. Our only problem now is that we can't afford the medication that I'm supposed to take to help me with it.
We just continue to pray and hope that somehow I will be able to get pregnant. We have looked into adoption, but we can't afford that yet. If we can't get pregnant soon, I think we will be going through that process within the next few years.
I didn't get as emotional as I thought I would. I just get tired of trying and trying only for negative results.
On a funny note, my husband is a bit frustrated with his blog-aholic wife. He tells me that he's afraid to tell me everything because he's afraid it will end up here for the whole world to read. He needs convinced that I'm not gossiping about him. Maybe one of these days he'll finally read it and see that I'm not doing what he thinks I'm doing. We'll have to see.

I have a Funny boy!

I love my son...he's so cute...but he thinks that smiling for the camera means pulling his face into strange positions. It's a bad habit I'm trying to fix! We'll see. These were taken at my Grandma's house...it was an impromptu family gathering, my uncle was in town from California...we always have fun!

He makes me laugh. For those of you who don't know me very well, Cameron looks nothing like me! He is all his father's son. People who see him and don't know my husband comment on how much he looks like him. There was one time when Steve took him to ShopKo and the lady who was there told him that he couldn't have gotten any closer if he had tried! I just hope that I someday can have a child that looks like me....at least somewhat! That is if I can ever get pregnant again!

Skiing with blisters

I have a good friend that reminded me of a funny memory that just makes me smile. When we were seniors in high school we joined the outdoor club, just so we could go on the annual cross-country ski trip. She went the year before and insisted that I go with her that year. So we went to the place where we needed to rent our boots and I promptly forgot which boots were supposed to be for me. So when we went on the trip we were short some boots, and I just grabbed what I thought would fit. I'm sure that the boots I was supposed to have were one of the pairs that were missing. But anyway, my friend and I went off on our merry way. I'd never skied before....ever. I know, I know...I live in Idaho, I should have skied at least once, but, no, I've never skied except for that one time! Anyway, we set off on the trail and I remember falling every few feet. Before too long I learned how to fall without hurting myself too badly, but I still fell a lot! We ended up laughing just as much as we fell.... On our way to the cabin we decided that we had to make a pit-stop, but there were very few places to "go." So we found that the snow wasn't very deep around the trees...so we wandered off the trail to climb into a hole to try to have some privacy. We had some pretty cold bums after that jaunt!

When we finally got to the cabin my feet were killing me! Not only that, but my backpack had broken, so my shoulders were killing me. My friend wanted to go skiing, but I opted out. By this time my blisters were dime-sized. That night we stayed up most of the night playing Phase 10 and laughing. The next day we had to borrow a sled to get my stuff out. By the end I was turned off to skiing, and I haven't done it since. I think that if I got the right size boots it would be a better experience!

A Happy Mom is a Happy Home!

I had such a good day today with Cam and the little girl we babysit! I decided yesterday that I'm tired of being the referee between the two of them and I want to enjoy my time with them. So today I started out with a positive attitude and I got down on the floor and wrestled with them. We were all laughing so hard I forgot, at least for the moment, how hard of a time I've been having lately! I tried lifting them on my legs and playing horsey, like I used to do when I was younger and in better shape, and I only aggravated my aches and pains. I guess that having a fun time is worth more than the pain I can put my body through. Hey, I could even classify it as exercise, if I really wanted to. I had those sweet little kids laughing and having a good time. I guess that's what it's really important. I can't believe the difference it made just to interact with them! YAY!! I figured out a trick, and it worked!!

I also think that knowing that I will be getting a break from babysitting this weekend really helped my out-look too! I don't know what it is about the weekend, but it just makes me so happy and relaxed. It could be the fact that I don't have to wake up nearly as early as I do during the week, the fact that I don't have to babysit, or the fact that I will be seeing Steve more often, maybe a combination of those three. I just love it!!

My only complaint for the day is that I haven't been to see my mom at all this week. Usually in a "normal" week I will be there 3 or 4 days. I haven't seen her since Monday, which for me is a record. I probably won't get to see her until Sunday or Monday with the way things look right now. I hope I can keep Cam occupied with my crazy-mom antics until then. But things are looking up!

I also found out from Steve that the teacher for the Developmental Kindergarten isn't that great of a teacher. He works with a lady who shadows at the Developmental Kindergarten and she knows what kind of a teacher she is. Anyway, she doesn't let the kids cut or glue anything and she only gives them one crayon stub for all of their assignments. She doesn't want to have to clean up the mess that cutting and gluing would make. In my opinion that is a bad excuse!! Kids are in kindergarten to learn to do those things! How can she do those kinds of things! I just don't understand. So now we're to the point where if Cam is recommended for DACC (the developmental kindergarten) we're gonna refuse to have him put there. If we have to we want to have him moved to another school, actually if we could we would move him to another school anyway. But hopefully this shadow thing will work out and we won't have to deal with this "teacher."

What a night!!

For all my worrying about Steve he got home okay, but not until 3:00. I am a huge worry-wart, so when I went to bed I kept thinking about all of the crap he'd have to go through to get home. Just before I went to sleep I looked out the window and it was snowing, so I got even more worried. When he got home he told me that he ended up going 55 mph on the interstate because the snow was so bad. Semi trucks were even passing him. But he got home to me safe and sound. The disturbing thing that he told me though was that the cruise control didn't work. We just got this van last month and the cruise had better work...we're planning some major trips and we don't want our feet to get all tired and crampy while we're going places. Hopefully it's just a fuse or something small that we can handle, but either way, it's gotta be fixed. After he told me that the cruise didn't work I worried some more, and didn't get back to sleep until 4:00. It just seemed like last night would never end! The real kicker is that they really didn't need him in Pocatello, apparently they had called this guy to come in to help close, but he had plans. He told them that he could cancel them if they really needed him, but instead of telling him that they needed him, they called the store manager who sent Steve. It was aggravating!

I miss my husband

I'm a bit upset right now. My husband is at work...but not in town....they had him drive to Pocatello (about an hour away) to work at a restaurant that he normally doesn't work at. He called me right after he got to where we thought he WAS going to work for the night and his boss asked him to go to the other store. He called me while he was still in shock from the request and I could tell that he wanted to talk about it, but he needed to get on the road. So now instead of not seeing him until midnight...I won't be seeing my honey until 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning! I really don't like it at all!
Lately he's been having work issues. The job he loves has drastically cut his hours back and to make up for the loss of wages from that job he's had to start working more hours at the job he really doesn't like. So I haven't really been able to spend time with him since Sunday. It sucks! I don't like it when he's gone most of the day! I really don't like it when I have a frustrating day watching the kiddos and he's not there to vent to, I'm sure he feels the same way about not being able to vent to me.
I miss him! I wish that I could just spend quality time with him...not sleeping time with him!

Harry Potter Over-load!

I'm feeling a bit Harry Pottered out! I bought the movie and as soon as it came through our front door it was opened and in the DVD player. Then after watching it all the way through once, Cameron decided that he wanted to watch it again. He was a little worried about being scared, but a little bit into it Cam and I both zonked out on the couch. Then after convincing him that he needed to go to bed for the night I went online and started re-reading my friend's version of book 6. I like the books and all, but I'm not a fanatic...so I think I will take a break, for how long totally depends on my boys!

I wish I could write on here that my life is exciting and very busy, but in reality it's quite boring. Today I babysat and took Cameron to speech therapy. Then when I came home we watched Harry Potter and sacked out on the couch. Then for the rest of the time I've been on here. I guess everyone has those kind of days! Today was mine!

Grinchy kids

This weekend while I went to Salt Lake with my fam, my mom kept commenting on things that we used to do when we were younger. She is just now finding out some of the things we used to do, and I don't think she's very impressed with us.

When my siblings and I were little we would be left alone while my parents went out on dates. We weren't really little, but we were little enough. Anyway, we would entertain ourselves by watching movies over and over again. But after a while watching the movies would get old, so we came up with some "fun" ideas to mix it up a bit. There was one time that we were watching the animated version of Dr. Seuss's How the Grinch Stole Christmas and we loved that part of the cartoon where the grinch gets his evil idea and his face contorts to that evil grin he had. And one night while we were watching I had the brilliant idea to get a white crayon and trace the face onto the television screen. So my brother and I did it at the part where his hair is still curled up on top of his head. Then we'd play the movie and pause it where his hair opened up. We thought it was hilarious. And my parents never found out, because crayon washes easily off of the screen. My mom just found out about us doing this within the last year. She was appalled, but she laughed about it. She just can't believe that we did that when she wasn't there. I'm sure that years from now Cam will be pulling the same stuff on me. It's all part of the circle of life!

From winter to spring and back to winter all in the same day

This weekend we went on a "quick" trip to Utah for a wedding reception for one of my cousins who lives in Arizona. We figured that since she and her family were so close that we had to make the trip just to see them and wish the new couple well. So Cam and I rode down with my parents and two of my brothers to see them. When we left town it was snowing and blowing so bad that we could barely see the interstate or the cars in front of us (I was very glad that my dad was driving, I was too nervous to even look out the windows!) We got there fairly early, the reception didn't start until 6:30 and we were there at 2:00, so we decided to go to Salt Lake for a little goofing off and entertainment. We ended up at one of the malls looking around a book store when I looked out into the hall. I thought I saw one of my aunts and uncles, so I zoomed out. It was them...along with my aunt and uncle from Arizona. It was a quick and fun family "reunion" in the middle of the ZCMI mall. We all laughed and hugged and got reacquainted. Then while we were out in the hall I saw a store just across the way. It was a tie store I had wanted to visit and while we were there so I could find a tie for Cam. The check-out lady was a girl who used to live down the street from my parents so I had to rush in there to visit with her too. It was a lot of fun. We had wanted to see a new movie that was playing in the Joseph Smith Memorial Building, but my aunt and uncle told us that when they had gone they only had stand-by seating and they ended up on the floor watching it. So we bagged the idea. We did some sight-seeing on Temple Square and had a fun afternoon.

My sister had joined up with us when we were in the mall and she had to hurry over to the Hilton to get her husband while he was on his break from a musical conference that he was attending. So we all decided to get together and find a place to eat dinner. My sister is directionally challenged, which means that she gets lost VERY easily, and she ended up going the wrong way to get her hubby. So we were going to get her and pick up her husband then go to dinner, but she figured out where she was. We went to dinner and had a good time. Then we went to the reception in Ogden (about 30 miles North of SLC). For most of the day we were walking around Salt Lake without coats or jackets, the weather was gorgeous!! They even had little baby flowers popping out of the ground, we were a bit jealous! Anyway, we went to the reception and had a lot of fun. I had taken my camera to snatch a few pics of my family while we were there, but when I had grabbed it that morning I didn't realize that the darn thing was still on. So when I pulled it out for the reception the battery was dead. I was upset, but got over it quickly. We had a fun visit and then we left.

On the way home my mom and brother and I talked to help keep my brother awake. My dad had taken the back seat and was sleeping for most of the ride. Cam, my other brother and I were in the middle seat watching movies. When we got just outside of Pocatello my brother immediately slammed on the brakes. Standing in a straight row on the interstate was 5 deer. They were all looking the other way too, so we came to a complete halt on the road and had to wait. When my brother stopped, my dad, who was in the back seat rolled into me and my brother. Luckily though, no one got hurt, deer or otherwise. We got home safely, to cold and snow, but we had fun.

Unusually busy day!

I don't know why I scheduled everything for today, but it kept me on my toes! Luckily though, Cam didn't have school and that allowed me to sleep in. But I had an appointment with our service coordinator then soon after the little girl I babysit came and immediately started running. I soon settled her down and had her sleeping, but when I went to take her upstairs, Cam started running and getting noisy which woke her up. Unable to get either of them back to sleep, I gave up and went back down to entertain them. As the day wore on Steve came home from work and we hurried out the door for parent/teacher conferences. While we were gone my friend, who had come to visit with me, sat at our house until we got back. As soon as the conference was over we took the little girl home and hurried to our house where I led my friend to the church where we had a fun Relief Society enrichment meeting planned. I was helping tie a quilt...which didn't really want to be tied. I stayed late there and finished up the quilt and then came home where both of my boys were up in bed. I had a lot on my plate, but it kept me busy. And while we didn't have a lot going on this afternoon I took lots of fun pictures of Cam and the little girl we watch, as you can see.
The exciting thing about our day was that at parent/teacher conferences we found out that Cameron's teacher is lobbying for him to be in the normal kindergarten next year instead of the developmental one. The thing he wants is to see if we can get a shadow for him when he goes to kindergarten. What a shadow does is they keep the child on task and help with the one-on-one help for the child. When I heard that I was excited. I have been hoping that he could be in the regular kindergarten with his friends, but I know that he needs that special help to stay focused. So when his teacher suggested this I was instantly in agreement. Hopefully it will all go well and we can do that. He has just taken off with his learning recently, I'm just thrilled!

I think I'm learning!

Okay, so since I last wrote about my break-down with Cam and the little girl we babysit I've realized what a whiny-bum I was. Monday was definitely bad, but today was SO much better! I tried to remember that I can control my anger and annoyance and I felt much more in control. The only upsetting thing was the little girl got sick and Cam kinda freaked out, but it was all good. She went home with her dad and now HE has to deal with it!

Hey guys, thanks for responding so well to my pics. Like I said, I was just goofing off with the picture thingy and that was the way it ended up. I will try to add more pictures later...I just haven't got very many on our camera. I'm still waiting for a good hair day to take my own pic to post! Keep riding along! It should be fun!