Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Holiday Haze

Driving around town at night, I've noticed the brilliant light displays that many have put up already. Not only have I noticed them, but so have my boys. Jake will say, "Mom! They're all ready for Christmas." When he says this I notice that it's with a bit of jealousness.
Normally, any other year, our family tradition is that we put up our tree on Thanksgiving evening or the day after. This year, not so.....Why would I want to put up a tree only to take it all back down to move to a different house?
So our house is totally untrimmed....and a bit chaotic with the boxes filling up and things being moved around.
I'm not a Scrooge, I promise....I'm just moving.

Thursday, November 24, 2011


Today has been an absolutely WONDERFUL holiday.
I spent the morning making pies. I was in charge of assigning people the things to bring, and didn't have many people for making pies, so I volunteered myself. I told my mom that I would make the cream pies (banana, coconut and lemon meringue). I baked the shells yesterday and then went to work this morning making the filling. I had never made a meringue before, so whipping up the egg whites got to me. I didn't realize that it took SO long to whip them when you have a little ol' hand mixer. After a VERY long time, I finally had my stiff peaks, and I baked them. Oh, my GOSH!! They were SO SO SO yummy.
I also volunteered to pick up my grandpa from the assisted living center and bring him to my mom's house. This was a chore.
Grandpa will go for a long time, having good days where he remembers and then he'll have bad days....today was a bad one. He spent the morning calling my aunt (one of 4 phone numbers that he remembers) to see when he was going to be picked up. She reassured him that someone would get him and that he wasn't forgotten. Then she called my mom who called me. When mom called me, I'd JUST finished my food preparations (I also made a salad and dug out a can of cranberry sauce....) and finished my shower. I promised her that I would be leaving the house shortly.
I left my boys in the suburban while I went in to find Grandpa. I had fully expected to find him in the front lobby waiting impatiently. When I entered...he wasn't there. I went to his room and found him napping on his bed.
So I told him that we were going to Thanksgiving Dinner and that he would probably need his jacket because it was cool outside. He then told me that he probably didn't have one there, because he didn't live there all the time.
Um, okay?
I finally got him ready, then we slowly (and I DO mean SLOWLY) sauntered down the hallway. I told him that I would check him out at the front desk and meet him at the doors. He tried banging the doors open, but there's a code to open them (dang good thing...) I got him in the car and then he asked, "Are you going to pick up mom now?"
*Sigh* These are the moments it's hard to have a grandpa with a memory problem....
I told him, "Grandpa, Grandma died 3 years ago now. You don't live with her..." My boys, in the back seat, chimed in: Cameron said, "She's in heaven, Grandpa." Jake said, "She's in a hole in the ground."
Things were silent after that.
Soon enough we were at my mom's house, and I took in the food and then sat down to rest. My cousins and aunts soon arrived and the house was busy and full of happy noises. The kids were begging to go outside to play and the adults sat around and talked. My mom had miscalculated the time the turkey would take, so we waited an extra hour for dinner to be ready. Unfortunately, Steve had to hurry off to work, but did manage to get his food before going to work. He also took a few plates of food with him to share with his employees.
After dinner, we were all beyond stuffed, and sat and talked. I got to talk with my two female cousins who showed up. It was so fun to just sit and talk and laugh. I wish I could do that MORE often.
We ate our pie, and then it was time to go home. My grandpa had been having a VERY rough day and was in and out of the bathrooms the WHOLE time. (I swear, when he was supposed to be eating, he was in the bathroom 10 times.) He'd had an accident, and it was TIME to take him home. I didn't let him sit (it's hard to get him up off of a chair if he DOES sit...) and herded him to the suburban. I put a towel around my seat, so he wouldn't make a mess....and then I opened the door so he could get in.
He couldn't do it. He couldn't raise his leg to get in, he couldn't put his feet on the running board to get IN the car, he couldn't do it. I stood behind him, knowing that he was wet and gross, and thinking, "This is taking WAY too long....should I just push him in and wash my hands later?" I resisted the urge, and after 6 minutes of struggle, went into my mom's house for a step stool. By the time I got back out to the car...he'd managed to get in. *sigh*
I took him home, and on the way he said, "Now, remember, I need to go home." I looked at him and said, "Oh, don't worry, I remember." As I pulled into the assisted living center, he began to complain, "I don't live here....why are we here!?" "You live here, Grandpa." "I DO NOT!" "Grandpa, you've lived here for about 3 years now....I promise." "You have GOT to be kidding me!" "Why would I kid you about something like this?? Is this funny!?"
I parked the car outside the closest door to his room, and he asked, "So, do you want me to stay here until I will be dropped off?" "Nope, you are being dropped here."
I helped him in, and he feebly made his way in the door. I had to hold his hand as he walked the 20 feet to his room....then he collapsed on his couch.
As I left him I worried that he would follow and ask me more of the same questions. It's hard to tell him over and over that his wife is dead and that he doesn't remember it. I think I told him that at LEAST 5 times today. It's hard to leave him in an assisted living center when I know that he'd rather be in his own home. It's hard to hear him talk about driving himself around, then telling him that no, he can't drive, and that he really can't do much of anything.
Dementia/Alzheimer's is rough on the family as much as it is on the person who is suffering from it. I just want to cry after visiting him when he's had a bad day. I think he's beginning to forget the simple things now. (How to climb into a car.....) It's just sad all around.
I have to say though, I am grateful for my family and the love we have....and the memories we make.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Still Plugging Along

Yup, we're still here. We're in the midst of all of the house-buying things. Last week we had our inspection, which turned out not so bad. We do have an older house, so there are many little things that need fixed, but we can still live with a lot of things.
I'm also going through things in the current house and purging and donating things that we don't wear, use or need anymore. THIS is what's sucking....both my time and just in general.
I know that once we move, things will be SO much better....especially if I can get rid of the extra things now, but right now I'm in the middle of it, and it just stinks.

Monday, November 14, 2011

I Think I Forgot To Mention....

...that after a few months in the Primary Presidency....I got released.
I knew it was coming, the current president had been in for 3 years, but I was SO sad to lose such a fun, wonderful, fulfilling calling.
Because the bishopric member knew about the house hunt, he hesitated to extend me a new calling, so as of right now, I'm without a calling. I haven't had THAT privilege since we first moved into this ward....EIGHT years ago.
I am, however, keeping busy. There's a class that has no teacher and while they find one, I'm the "permanent" substitute. I don't mind it at all...I'm just glad to still be in Primary.
And to address the 8 year comment, yes, it's absolutely true. We moved into this apartment when Cam was 3 years old and one month. He'd just started preschool, and I had to wait to put him into the new school district for over a month.
This means that I have EIGHT years of accumulation to go through and purge and pare down. This will NOT be an easy job. BUT I am hopeful that a lot of the boxes I've neglected over the years are easily de-junked and tossed. I can do this....I can do this....I can do this....

Friday, November 11, 2011

We Got the House!!!!

I'm SO beyond thrilled. Honestly, right now I've got perma-grin.
Steve called me with the news, and I asked if they'd counter-offered....they DIDN'T!!
OH MY GOSH!!! I've got a house, and at a SCREAMING deal too!!!
I am just overwhelmed with happiness right now, you have no idea!!

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Waiting Stinks

Last night, Steve and I put in another offer on the house that I dreamed about. It took a lot of talk and discussion to get us both on the same page, but we're both there....and anxious.
We wait to hear back with nervousness and anxiety....and giddiness.
I have to admit, I'm BEYOND giddy about this house. I can't wait to hear whether they'll accept our offer or counter-offer.....
Not knowing is SO hard.

Monday, November 07, 2011

House Hunt

We've been looking for a house for MONTHS now. The first day we looked, Steve found the house that he loved. I thought it was nice, but it just didn't FEEL right to me. Then the next week I found a house that I loved, but Steve didn't like.
Then we'd been on the fence for a while. Steve told me that he felt like either house that we picked (of the two we both liked) would be fine. I thought we should still look, and we agreed to not decide anything yet.
Then last week we went looking again. We saw a BUNCH of houses....and none were really speaking to us. Then we visited a house that we BOTH were in awe of. We both really liked it, and both felt really good about it.
That night we put in an offer on that house....and found out there was already another offer.
Today we learned that they went with the other offer.
When I heard that, I was relieved. That night that we signed the papers for the offer, I had a bad feeling and dreamed about my first dream house...the one that I love, but Steve was having a hard time seeing us living in. ALL night I dreamed that we lived there, that we were happy there, that we were content.
I ignored those dreams, and bad feelings, because I didn't want to tell Steve that we'd made a mistake.
I actually prayed that we would be approved for the house that was MEANT to be ours, and if the house we'd put an offer on was wrong that we'd be denied.
I guess I got my answer, didn't I?
I really and truly feel like we need to put in an offer on that other house. I feel at home every time I think about it, drive past it, look at pictures of it....
Now I just have to convince Steve of that....

Tuesday, November 01, 2011


We had a long road getting TO Halloween this year. The boys were threatened on a regular basis with it being taken away....but they both made it.

We walked all up and down Grandma's neighborhood and got a GOOD haul. The boys were completely exhausted by the end of the night....
Now we move to the other holidays!!