Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Christmas is Coming!!

And Cameron is "becited!!" Aren't you!?
And I'm just sitting quietly, being pregnant!! ;)

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

LONG Break...Well, for ME Anyway....

I've been TRYING my hardest to get over my head-cold, and for the MOST part, it's gone. Thanks to some online friends, I discovered pregnancy-friendly drugs to help me sleep. Benedryl is my FRIEND! ;)
Otherwise, I've been hanging out, babysitting, and stressing. The stressing is coming from my brother-in-law's baby shower this Saturday. He's been calling us OFTEN, and I, being dead-brain-preggo-woman, volunteered to help him with games, IF he needed me. Well, guess what, he "needed" me! So I've been dreaming of things that I just KNOW I'm going to forget. See, bil lives an hour away, and since we're not seeing them or my pils (hee hee...."pils") until next year, most likely, we're taking baby gifts, games, Christmas presents, our old Christmas tree/old star, and cooler with us. (Good thing we have a large vehicle...)
The only "new" news from me is that I've discovered that with my head-cold, I wasn't nauseous....AT ALL!!!! I would gladly take head-cold stuffiness over constant nausea ANY DAY!! Unfortunately, now that the head-cold is nearly gone, my nausea is back!! :( And it's WORSE than it was before. (Read as: I've been hooo!)

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Happy Thanksgiving!

This year I'm grateful for SO much, but I'll list some of the highs here!
  • I'm thankful for this little baby who's making my daily life a little more miserable. It's all worth it in the end!!
  • I'm thankful for a healthy, happy, ENERGETIC son. He makes me think sometimes WHY I do it all, but then he also has those moments when he reminds me!
  • I'm thankful for a forgiving, loving husband. There are SO many times when I've deserved a good chewing-out, or smack, but he NEVER does it. He patiently puts up with me, and I love him more and more for his patience....that I someday HOPE to have!
  • I'm thankful for modern conveniences. Honestly, where would YOU be right now without flushing potties, computers, televisions, DVD/VCR players, debit cards, washing machines??? SERIOUSLY, I love all of these things that make my life easier AND happier!
  • I'm thankful for tissues. (Right now I've got a major head-cold, and tissues are my friends!)

Happy Thanksgiving!! :D

Monday, November 19, 2007

Visiting Dr. H

Seriously I love my doctor, but MAN, is she EVER busy!!
Today I went for what was SUPPOSED to be a blood pressure check.....I didn't get back for an HOUR!! Plus, today I was babysitting, so I had to monitor every move that little J did (especially when there was a Christmas tree all decorated nicely in the lobby!)
Then back in the back, I was chasing that little boy ALL over the was new, and he wanted to explore!!
The highlight of the visit?? Peeing into the cup! Yeah, anyone who's had to do this KNOWS what I'm talking about. Why do they make those darn things SO small?? And not only that, but I never knew that just being told I had to use the restroom could inspire SO much urine!! I filled that little cup nearly to the top!! (Yeah, more than you PROBABLY wanted to know!) Then I was asked to carry it to the exam room, while tagging along a curious little boy and his bag of fun. UH, I spilled....and THAT'S NOT pretty!! :P
Then when the nurse checked my blood pressure (which, of COURSE, had risen since I had been chasing little J all over....) it was HUGELY high!! The nurse was a little worried, but told me to lay back on the table and relax. Then she left me to "relax." Is it even POSSIBLE to relax when there's a one-year-old boy running around an enormous EMPTY room?? I tried laying back on the paper covered table, with pillow paper-covered as well, but everytime I did, the pillow would NEED to deflate!! This, in turn, caused a grin to cover little J's face, ear-to-ear!!
Soon (okay, so it was probably 20 minutes later) Dr. H came into the room and invited me to follow her to the ultrasound room. I was thinking to myself, "Do I NEED another ultrasound?" But apparently this is how Dr. H works! (My mom wonders if she likes to do ultrasound instead of finding the heartbeat with the little doppler-thingy...) She closed the door, neatly rounding up little J...who immediately proceeded to whine, and began the ultrasound.
Last week I could see the heartbeat SO easily, this week?? was all blobs to me. Dr. H assured me that it looked just fine, but this time I noticed something else....the baby was spinning circles. Anytime she'd get ready to point out the heartbeat, the baby would spin!! It was CRAZY!! I hope this isn't a sign of things to come!!
All in all, I've learned a FEW things: If at all possible DO NOT take a curious child with you on routine visits. Peeing in a cup is a talent, but carrying the filled cup to the room is an art. And you will ALWAYS be surprised!! ALWAYS!! ;)

Friday, November 16, 2007

Free For All Friday

It's time for Free-For-All Friday!
If you want to ask me a question -- and anything goes -- here's your chance. You can ask about whatever you wish, no holds barred. I'll either answer honestly, or I'll tell you that I won't answer.


One Scrappy Gal said...
Do Doves really cry?
I'm sure there's a reference here I SHOULD be getting, but I just can' I'm going to honestly answer you...NO, doves don't cry.
One Scrappy Gal said...'s a song by Prince.
I couldn't think of what else to ask... seems like you've answered my most insane questions already!
But I will ask... doing any shopping on Black Friday?
I should have known...I actually had words from a song (I'm assuming THAT song) running through my head all day yesterday!!
Steve and I took an opportunity yesterday (actually Friday) to go shopping withOUT Cam with us, so we did ALL of his Christmas shopping then!! ALL DONE!! The only gift YET to get for ALL of my Christmas stuff is for my mom, and I STILL need to figure THAT one out with my siblings. It feels SO good to have the bulk of my Christmas shopping done, and know that I can SLEEP in the day after Thanksgiving. (I don't think there would have been many better sales on the Christmas stuff we decided to get Cam this year, so Black Friday wouldn't have been good for me ANYWAY!) So to answer your question, after all my bragging....NO, I'm not shopping on Black Friday....if I can get away with it! ;)

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

My Infertility Struggle

My dear friend, Lei, has asked me to participate in her Woman to Woman discussion on infertility and recurrent loss. Now, I can't really talk much about recurrent loss, since I've only had 3 pregnancies, with one loss. But infertility, that's something I know.

When you're in the throes of not making a baby life revolves around your cycle. You're in one of these phases, AT ALL TIMES: disappointment (af is here), hope (beginning of new cycle...there's hope, right?), exhaustion (from trying to MAKE the baby), waiting forever (seeing if all your hard work really paid off), and finally fear/frustration/anxiety. You think PMS is bad?? Try living this cycle NON-STOP!! There are months where I felt like just giving up. I would think, "I should be grateful, especially where I have a child." Heck, you really couldn't consider me infertile if you knew that, right?? But secondary infertility is painful too. I can't say that it's the SAME pain as regular infertility, but it DOES hurt.

I know of someone who, like me, had SI, and when she went online to find support groups for infertility, she was shunned when it was revealed that she had a child. WHAT? Can we not all feel that pain of wanting something we DON'T have? The pain is there, whether you have one child, or none!

There were times when I felt betrayed by my body. How is it that a teen-ager, with NO hopes of becoming a mother, can sleep with her boyfriend once and get pregnant and I, an adult woman, married with a stable life, tries for YEARS and gets nothing? In those times I'd just cry and blame my body. It was letting me down, and I HATED myself for it!

During that time I even had irrational fears....I feared home pregnancy tests. Yes, in the 5 and a half years it took us to get THIS baby, I probably peed on 60 sticks and every time it was a bfn (big fat negative.) That was probably the hardest part of my own struggle, seeing one line!

The other hard parts came when my friends and family would get pregnant and announce it. Having a child is a miracle no matter who it happens to, and how fertile or infertile they are. It SHOULD be celebrated, but when you're in the cycle of pity, it's hard to feel the same excitement that others around you are feeling. Those nights I would go to bed crying and WISHING that I, too, could have that blessing! Why was my body doing this to me? It hurt SO badly!!

It really hurt when no one around me understood my feelings. I *thought* my husband would understand, but his feelings were VERY different from my own. My thoughts were: "Why is this not working?? Is there something SERIOUSLY wrong with my body?? Am I not worthy of this blessing in my life?? Should I just get USED to the idea of ONE child??" His were not so self-absorbed. (Maybe that's just the difference between men and women.)

The unknowingly rude comments hurt a LOT. I once confided in a good friend that I had been trying for another baby for a long time and was hoping that some new drugs would help. She emailed me back saying, "It will happen if the Lord wants it to." I wanted to smack her. Honestly, did she not KNOW that I had been wanting this forever?? (Of course, she is fertile-Myrtle...and was pregnant with her SECOND child in 2 years...) I know that saying that to me was her way of trying to "do good," but it hurt SO badly and I even refused to email her for a LONG time after that. (If was being totally honest, I'd tell you that I really don't seek out her advice anymore. I only email her when she emails me first...)

The pain is always there, and it's SO hard to overcome, but here's the new twist I've recently found. We tried for another baby for five and a half years....that's a LONG time! Now that I'm pregnant with a healthy child, it doesn't seem like those years were as long as they felt. But the one thing I DO feel....complete gratitude. When I was pregnant with my son, I worried about how labor would feel, and selfishly, I didn't want a baby! I didn't want to go through that pain. (Yes, it's something I've *NEVER* told anyone...) But this time?? Any little ache, pain, sick feeling, gives me a feeling of excitement, and joy! For the first week that I knew I was pregnant I prayed multiple times a night letting my Heavenly Father know of my gratitude for this blessing, and the strength to handle whatever came my way. And you know, I think He's blessed me!

Monday, November 12, 2007

Here's the Peanut

The doctor put the ultrasound on my tummy and announced, "Congratulations, you're pregnant!" (Can I tell you how much I LOVE this woman!?)

I did all of the first time tests, and paperwork, and now we're off and running....and ALL is well!! In fact, the Doctor's words to me when she saw the baby on the machine was, "Everything's PERFECT!" YAY!!

The little heartbeat was the most BEAUTIFUL thing I've seen in YEARS!!

Friday, November 09, 2007

I Can't Believe It's Friday Again!!

Honestly, where do the weeks go?!
It's time for Free-For-All Friday!
If you want to ask me a question -- and anything goes -- here's your chance. You can ask about whatever you wish, no holds barred. I'll either answer honestly, or I'll tell you that I won't answer.

Did you REALLY Wanna Know!?

Elena said...
What were you doing 10 years ago today? (Or around that time.)
I was going to college in Rexburg. The place formerly known as Ricks. I was probably in class, or snoozing in my 1971 Pontiac Bonneville (seriously, MISS this car!) Either that, or begging my parents for money for gas! *giggle*
Suzanne said...
Hmm... What do you like most about living in your state?
What qualities of your hubby attracted you to him when you met?
Which of your qualities were what attracted him to you?
Can you pat your head and rub your stomach at the same time?
That is all!
Are you SURE!? ;)
I love that in Idaho we get ALL four seasons. (Even if they are shorter some seasons....)
I loved Steve's outgoing personality. (And the fact that he was cute was a plus!)
He tells me that he fell in love with me when I was in a burping contest. Uh, I guess my wacky-attitude/the fact that I can burp like a man! *giggle*
I can pat my head and rub my tummy at the same time...then I can switch!! I'm SOOOOOO talented!!
One Scrappy Gal said...
What is the scariest most terrifying movie you have ever seen? this day... you still steer clear of?
Okay, this sounds weird, because now this movie is SO outdated that it's not really *scary* anymore, but when I was little (between 4 and 6 years old) I watched Poltergeist. It FREAKED me out. Then one night, my brothers and I were watching it when my uncle was babysitting us. He has an unusual talent that he employed that night that added to the scariness of the mood. He flipped his eyelids inside out and chased us around the house. I remember screaming bloody-murder and running for ALL I was worth, and him trapping us in the corner of our living room. I was crying, and nearly peeing my pants when he flipped his eyelids back and tried to calm us back down.
Since that experience I'd REFUSED to watch it, until a few years ago....then I laughed at how cheesy the whole thing REALLY was!!

Thursday, November 08, 2007

My Chopped Off Hair

Just realize, that today I was having FUN with it's poofy and CRAZY! (But I absolutely LOVE it!)

Wednesday, November 07, 2007


Last night, I was watching my usual Dancing With the Stars results show (anyone wanting to discuss the TRAGEDY of last week, feel free to do that here...) and when LeAnn Rhymes sang "How Do I Live" and the dancers came out I IMMEDIATELY cried....and it lasted for a while too!! And let me mention here, that I VERY MUCH dislike LeAnn Rhymes' version of that song....VERY MUCH!! I was just OVERWHELMED with feelings. I know I can blame them on hormones....but that's okay, right!?
Hormones have also caused me to do something pretty drastic today...I chopped off my hair!! AND it feels HEAVENLY!! (Steve has put our camera somewhere....and once I get it, I will post pics!)
I can't imagine what my hormones are going to do when I'm further along!!

Monday, November 05, 2007

So Worried

I can't believe the WORRY I go through!! I'm officially 8 weeks along today, and I haven't thrown up ONCE!! Honestly, I was puking up both of my lungs at this point with Cameron. Yes, I know each pregnancy is different, but not being sick is worrying me!! I do have constant nausea (unless I eat) but no pukage!
My belly is getting bigger, but I think it's more from eating constantly than from a growing baby.
The only thing that keeps me from completely worrying is the peaceful feeling I have about the whole thing. It's going to be okay!! I just feel it! But at the same time, I can't help but worry!
Hopefully next week my worry will be lessened by my first visit with my doctor!!

Friday, November 02, 2007

Free For All Friday

It's time for Free-For-All Friday!
If you want to ask me a question -- and anything goes -- here's your chance. You can ask about whatever you wish, no holds barred. I'll either answer honestly, or I'll tell you that I won't answer.
P.S. Someone ask me about Steve's Halloween costume....;)


One Scrappy Gal said...
What did Steve dress up as this year?
What are your Thanksgiving plans?
What's the creepiest cartoon character you have ever seen?

Steve was a woman this year. He wore my blouse, my skirt, and my bra (stuffed with six PAIRS of his socks!!) It's GREAT!! *LOL*

Thanksgiving is always the same for us, we go to my mom's house, where many family members gather (we have been known to have a group of 70 or more people...) Usually all I'm responsible for is making a salad, and if my brothers get their way, then it's my pretzel salad!
The creepiest cartoon character?? Hmmm....maybe those weird characters on late night Cartoon Network. I don't know the show's title, or the character's name, but I know there's a red devil-type cup, and I think french fries?? Yeah, they're weird, and they creep me out!
Elena Manwaring said...
What's worse, a spider, a snake, or a mouse?
Okay, there are different situations when these are worse. If it's loose, a mouse is the worst, because they're SO fast, and I just KNOW they will eat me! If it's crawling around (again, uncaged) then a snake is bad....YUCK!! And if it's on me biting me (which HAS happened to me before...) then a spider.
But I guess you want to know which I'm MORE afraid of?? Snakes!!
Suzanne said...
Since you are pregnant, I have a few questions!!! :)
When is your due date?
Would you like a girl or a boy?
Are you worshipping the porcelain god?
According to Fertility Friend I'm due on June 16th.
Personally, I think having another boy would be GREAT!! But with our schedule...we're supposed to be having a girl. I've actually had MANY dreams lately that it IS a girl, but either way, if it's healthy, then I'll be happy!!
I have not thrown up yet. THANKFULLY!! I did spend an hour the other day kneeling in front of my half-bath toilet....sure I was going to be sick, but thankfully, it subsided, and I was fine. But don't think that just because I haven't thrown up doesn't mean I'm happy and energetic!! I've got CONSTANT nausea!! CONSTANT! :P
mattsmom said...
FINALLY I can comment on this baby! CONGRATS! OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN! I KNOW how much you have wanted I KNOW how exciting this whole thing matter how painful it is or will be for the next 8ish months! Since I have felt pain with you I feel somehow a part of your pregnancy. I hope to help bouy you up when things are hard.
Secondly...I would ask about Steve's costume...but I fear that a picture might scar me for LIFE! LOL!
And finally...What is your favorite color? SInce I am not at all creative today, that is the most creative question I could come up with!
Don't you worry, missy!! Those pictures WILL be worth the wait!! ;)
My favorite color is dark green....kind of the forest green.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Where Has the Year Gone!?

Doesn't it just seem like it was summer?? Where did the year go? I can't believe that it's already November!! I've already seen Christmas commercials on TV!! (Not that I mind...I pretty much pull out my Christmas music as soon as Halloween is over...)
Some of Cameron's favorite questions are, "What comes next?" In his world, usually that means, "What major holiday is next?" I can't believe I'm already saying, "It's Thanksgiving and then Christmas!!" WHOA!!
I guess having time move quickly will be helpful, when my maternity days move slowly, I should remember, time moves QUICKER than I expect. I still find it hard to believe that my little boy is seven!! I don't feel old enough to have a child that old!
I guess what I'm saying is that I just find it hard to believe that this year is nearly over. In the blink of an eye, it will be NEXT year, then next summer, then next fall.....It will all move WAY too fast!!
And anyone wanting an update on my preggo situation....I'm still nauseous, but surviving. I've stocked up on anything that I've heard is helpful for morning sickness: ginger snaps, peppermint hard candies, peppermint gum, peanuts, sunflower seeds, watermelon Bubble Yum....and so far, it's ALL working!! *whew*