Sticking With It

...parenting, that is.

Monday night we had a big blow up with Mr. Cameron. In the last year he's shot up about a foot or so in height, he's inches from being as tall as his short mother. When I have to drag him anywhere (which isn't very often) it looks ridiculous. Anyway, he refused to come home with me from Grandma's house. I gave him multiple chances, and finally I'd had enough fighting, so I drove home....leaving him screaming on my mom's front yard. I couldn't very well drag him into the car...he's getting too big, and WAY too old for that. I was reamed the whole way home by a certain-almost-4-year-old, and I told that same boy that you do NOT treat your mommy badly, or something like THIS would happen.

I got home and called Steve to pick Cameron up, and told him what happened. He was NOT happy...at all.

Earlier in the evening my mom had mentioned that if Cameron wasn't good, then he couldn't go out to dinner with us the next night for my youngest brother's birthday, so I figured that was as good of a punishment as any other, and grounded Cameron from the birthday dinner.

I was scared.

I've never left my kids at home alone for ANY reason. I thought about hiring a babysitter, but remembered that it was mutual night (when youth between 12-18 participate in fun activities at our church). I couldn't pull anyone away from that. So I decided that it was time he stayed home alone, after all, why should I be punished for his tantrum?

I prepped the boy all afternoon. He could watch TV, if he got scared he could even go to my bedroom....

Then came the time to leave. I left a sticky note on the computer monitor with Steve's cell phone number, told him to only call in case of an emergency, and then I left.

The sad face chased me out of the house. I wanted to run to him, tell him how sorry I was for being so tough with him, and hug his little body, but I couldn't. I'd said something, and I NEEDED to stick with it. If not for HIS sake then for mine.

I had to practice singing a song with some ladies, so I went to dinner late. When I got to the restaurant, Steve informed me that Cam had called 10 times. So much for emergencies....

Dinner was a rushed event for me. I didn't want to make the boy more miserable than necessary, just enough to teach him a lesson that he can't act that way and plan on getting away with it. We could have gone to visit my mom afterward, but I was done making the boy wait. We went home and he was waiting AT the window for us.

He promised me that he will not act that way again. I told him that I hoped so, and we were done. I'm sure this is one lesson that he will remember for a VERY long time. Now he'll know that I mean what I say...even if it's the hardest thing in the world for ME!

PANIC!!!

We close on the house in less than a week. We still have a BUNCH of stuff to do ON TOP of the packing. I'm overwhelmed. I can't do it all.

I'm going to suck it up and ask for help. I know there are people who are more than willing to help (I've already had TONS of offers that I've kind of blown off....) I'm taking them up. I need help. I want OUT of this crummy apartment and into my cute little home.

House Hunt

We've been looking for a house for MONTHS now. The first day we looked, Steve found the house that he loved. I thought it was nice, but it just didn't FEEL right to me. Then the next week I found a house that I loved, but Steve didn't like.

Then we'd been on the fence for a while. Steve told me that he felt like either house that we picked (of the two we both liked) would be fine. I thought we should still look, and we agreed to not decide anything yet.

Then last week we went looking again. We saw a BUNCH of houses....and none were really speaking to us. Then we visited a house that we BOTH were in awe of. We both really liked it, and both felt really good about it.

That night we put in an offer on that house....and found out there was already another offer.

Today we learned that they went with the other offer.

When I heard that, I was relieved. That night that we signed the papers for the offer, I had a bad feeling and dreamed about my first dream house...the one that I love, but Steve was having a hard time seeing us living in. ALL night I dreamed that we lived there, that we were happy there, that we were content.

I ignored those dreams, and bad feelings, because I didn't want to tell Steve that we'd made a mistake.

I actually prayed that we would be approved for the house that was MEANT to be ours, and if the house we'd put an offer on was wrong that we'd be denied.

I guess I got my answer, didn't I?

I really and truly feel like we need to put in an offer on that other house. I feel at home every time I think about it, drive past it, look at pictures of it....

Now I just have to convince Steve of that....

Dreams

I've found myself having similar dreams lately....all of them with us in a new house.

I wish the house-hunting process was easier, but it's not...and I'm frustrated. My boys fight constantly because they don't like sharing a bedroom. And I mean, who can blame them, right? Neither one has his own space, and he wants some room for himself.

Frustration comes when after hours of screaming and fighting there seems to be NO end in sight.

*sigh*

This too shall pass, I guess.

Why??

Why can't my boys stop fighting me on every request?

Why can't the two of them sleep in the same room at the same time without World War 3 breaking out?

Why doesn't the 3 year old understand that he can't do everything that his big brother can?

Why is it that I make too much money to be poor, but I'm too poor to be rich?

Why can't I seem to fall asleep when the rest of the world does?

Why can't I have a house?

It's because it's life, right? Things can't always be perfect, but I can keep on plugging along....at least, that's what I tell myself when I feel this pity party coming on.

A Work in Progress

Lately I have not felt like myself. I'm grumpy and angry at the drop of a hat. Yesterday was no exception.

I woke up early to watch the 9/11 things on TV (I am a 9/11 junkie, I watch so many shows about it and absolutely cannot get enough...) I was SO tired, neither of my boys went to sleep the night before until well after 10:30, and I was grumpy with having to deal with them all by myself.

Anyway, I laid on our comfy couch, snuggled under a blanket, and watched the show. A little ways into the show, the boys woke up. It was 7:00, and the boys were WIDE awake. I was still groggy and tired...even a little emotional, because of the 9/11 stuff, and they were needing a mommy.

I will admit, mornings are NOT my thing. I am a night-owl to the core. My boys, however, are early risers. Jake's justification to me has always been, "Mom, the sun is UP!" Yes, son, I know the sun is up, but that doesn't mean I have to be up.

So the boys are getting rowdy and I'm getting grumpier and grumpier.

Finally, I'd had it. I grabbed Jake, and took him upstairs. I was DETERMINED that he was going to get more sleep. (Anytime Cam would touch him, he'd whine and cry....I KNOW the boy was tired, he just didn't know it himself.)

I quickly fell back to sleep, but Jake did not. He laid in my bed for an hour. Finally he'd had enough, and wiggled and hit and kicked. He wanted out.

Anyway, I got upset, and so did Steve. At one point, Steve said, "FINE! I'll get up with the boys..."

Look, DUDE! I have been dealing with these children of yours all by myself for a VERY long time, and I have been awake with them, but this child needs more sleep.

If only I'd said that, right??

Instead, I got up with the wiggle-worm and went back downstairs where I got grumpier and grumpier.

Finally I decided that it was time for baths and took the boys upstairs to get ready for church. Generally, Jake goes first, because I can have him done REALLY fast, and dressed before Cam is even finished washing his hair.

I'm not even sure what exactly happened next, but Steve said something that set me off. I was looking through the clothes to get Jake dressed, and I had only found the boy's shirt and vest. I was in the midst of looking for his pants when Steve said whatever it was he said. I had it.....and I said so. I threw the clothes at Steve and said, "FINE! You get them (meaning the boys) I am DONE!"

Then I didn't look back...I went downstairs and took a time-out on my couch. I let Steve have FULL care of the boys.

When the boys came down, they were treading carefully. Jake came over and patted my knee. I did NOT move. Cameron looked like he wanted to ask me something, but he didn't. I just sat in my time-out and said NOTHING!

Then I realized something....the boys got dressed just fine without me harping on them for every little thing. They were happy, and I wasn't micro-managing every little thing.

At this point I realized: "The house is happier when we don't get angry and yell....it's best when I am quiet and listen."

Yes, a realization I should have had YEARS ago.....I have tried to be quieter since then, but I still have old habits that I need to break.....but I can do this. I can. I want a happier home and I'm sure my boys do too.

Never-Ending Cycle

School is back in session (has been since last week, but who's counting?) and life moves quickly. Jake has done his own "school" a few times and loves feeling like a big boy.

I'm a little frustrated though.

Bedtime has become my nemesis....yet again. Jake and Cameron fight EVERY single night. I'm losing my mind and just want to sit in the fetal position crying.

It starts out innocently enough. We do our bedtime routine: scriptures, brushing teeth, and prayers. Then I encourage BOTH boys, "Leave your brother alone. I do NOT want to see or hear from either of you for the rest of the night." The boys respond, "We won't. Good night...."

Then the brawling begins. Cameron hurts Jake, Jake screams bloody-murder, Jake comes bawling down the stairs, "Mom, Cameron hurt me..." I yell at Cam, Cam yells down the stairs and Jake screams a little more.

This repeats nightly.

I'm SICK of it.

I thought the bunk-beds were to blame. Whenever we'd send one boy to bed, the other would follow (usually after the first was sleeping peacefully) and shake the heck out of the bed, waking the other boy and causing a fight. So I took the bunks away. The boys have been sleeping on their mattresses on the floor all summer long. Finally, a few weeks ago, I got what I THOUGHT would be the perfect solution: a day bed with a trundle. No touching of beds at ALL! Unfortunately, I forgot that due to the size restraints, the beds are still only 3 inches apart. The fighting STILL happens.

I'm tired.....more importantly, my BOYS are tired. I wish I knew what to do to fix this situation, but I'm at my wits end and going more and more crazy each night. Tonight I just let Jake sit on my lap until Cameron fell asleep....it wasn't until after 10:00.

This is ridiculous. What more can I do? Why can't they just get along!?

So Frustrated.....And I'm Going to Leave....

The last few days have been VERY frustrating for me. While trying to see some paintings on Monday night, Cameron had an utter and complete melt-down. I had to literally DRAG the boy out of the building while he was screaming and carrying on. It was SO embarrassing.

Then yesterday I kept yelling and yelling until I was ready to lose my voice. Cameron would not do a THING I said. I was beginning to lose my mind.

At first, I thought it was because I'm SO excited to get away this weekend. (I'm going on a Girls Weekend Out...I've been looking forward to this trip for a VERY long time, and I figured that I was just super excited to be gone....) And while I AM excited to see my friends, and play without being bothered by little kids, it wasn't the reason I was going nuts.

Last night, right before I went to bed, I checked Cameron's pill container....he has NOT taken his pills for the last 2 days. I was SO SO SO mad. I was ready to pull the boy out of bed over it (but I didn't...) Whenever I had asked him if he had taken his pills, he lied and said he had. Then he continued to act out and not listen.

Today I remedied the situation by WATCHING him take the pills.

Here's hoping the next day is happy, and he's behaving well for daddy while I'm gone.

A Visit to the Surgeon

I got the call this morning that I was to see the surgeon at 2:15 this afternoon. No problem....wait, a small problem....I am on strong pain meds, I'm NOT supposed to drive.....

I ended up staying off the meds, so I could drive myself, since I didn't have help today.

After dropping the boys off with my mom, I went to the office. I sat in the waiting room and filled out 5 pages of medical history. Then I sat and read through a full issue of People. I even read many stories all the way through.

An hour after I arrived (45 minutes past my initial appointment time) I was taken back and my vitals were taken. Then I was shown to a large examination room. I sat in there and waited by myself and WITHOUT reading materials for another 15-20 minutes.

The surgeon finally came in and asked me about what had been going on. I gave him a condensed version, and then he asked me to change into their paper shirt to be checked.

I waited another 3 minutes before he came back.

When he returned he was on his cell phone with another doctor discussing a man's treatment. He was talking about chemo and surgery and removing his colon.....all the while he was pulling out a long strip of packing that was inside of me, and causing me to call out in pain. (What I really wanted to do was scream loudly and interrupt his phone call....am I NOT important??)

Then he finished his call and told me that he wants the wound to heal and then he'll come up with a plan of action. See how much of the tissue is affected and where to go once we know more. He recommended that I not wear a bra for the next 2 weeks while it heals....um, no...thank you.

Then he bandaged me up (hello, I'm allergic to tapes and adhesives....oh, well, I'll just take it off as soon as I can....) and told me he'd see me in 2 weeks.

Yup, that's it. I spent a good chunk of my afternoon waiting for this man to tell me to hurry up and wait. *eye roll* Thanks for your PROFESSIONAL opinion.

We've Become THOSE Parents

You know, the ones you SWEAR you will never allow yourself to become?? The ones you just KNOW are too lazy to correct their children, who allow the kids to do whatever they want whenever they want....the kind we promise ourselves we WON'T become.

For the last month or so my boys have been terrible about going to bed. For a while they shared a bunk bed. Then when they'd be in bed together, Cameron would shake the bunk bed and wake up Jake, just because, and Jake would reciprocate. I got annoyed with the squeaking and the fighting, so I took the bunk bed apart and then downstairs. Right now, the boys' beds are just mattresses on the floor, nothing more.

Since I took the blasted bunk beds down, bedtime has been a nightmare.

Cameron will poke/hit/kick Jake, and Jake will bug/poke/annoy Cam. We tried separating them (which worked!), but then I spent a week at my parents' house. Things were completely messed up. This week I've been on the brink of tears every SINGLE night.

The boys scream, yell and fight even more than usual. Bedtime has NOT happened before 11:00 all week. Both boys are cranky, and to tell you the truth, I'm grouchy myself.

Tonight, Steve helped out. He's truly been a HUGE help when the boys won't listen to me. After 3 times trying to send the boys to bed together/separate times, he'd had enough with the fighting and let Jake stay downstairs until Cam fell asleep. (This is what we've been doing, and generally it works....) Soon Jake was running around playing with pillows and blankets, then he was playing with his toys. At that moment I saw myself through someone elses' eyes....I was the lazy parent who let their child stay awake as long as they wanted and just let them have free reign of the house.

I yelled, "We're THOSE parents!!! We let our kid run amok and haven't enforced their bedtime!!"

Steve laughed.

I sent Jake off to bed and just allowed World War III continue without intervention.

Again, it was after 11:00 before the screaming stopped, but I've hit my limit....I'm DONE! I don't want to fight this fight any more. I want my kids to listen the FIRST time I tell them something (maybe the second, but not on the 10th time....)

I'm so disappointed in myself...I'm one of THOSE parents.

Monster to Mush

Mornings around here are NOT pretty. Usually one of us is grumpy, the other is defiant, and the other is so full of energy that the rest of us grumble. Yeah, we pretty much play the same three roles over and over every day.

I'm the grump....mornings have NEVER been my cup of tea. I've always been a night owl.

Cameron is the defiant one. I have to beg and plead and yell to get him to do ANYTHING! Usually it ends up with us fighting....that's never pretty.

Then there's Jake. Happy-go-lucky, Jake. He's pretty happy in the mornings just as long as he's got something to drink, something to eat, something to play with and something on TV to watch. He's not hard to please, but he's pretty demanding about it, every single day.

This morning Cam was especially grumpy. Jake was kind enough to wake his big brother up by banging on the wall. Nice, right? So Cameron started out yelling at Jake....NOT a good way to start the day.

Then when he came out of the bathroom, he informed Jake that he was going to take the toy Jake was playing with for show and tell. I told Cameron that he was not allowed to just take toys away from his brother just because he wanted. This caused a mini-tantrum.

When he came down, he was still being ornery about the whole toy situation, and instead of getting his shoes and socks on, he looked through the toy box to find a toy to take for show and tell. This is NOT cool with me. I don't care if he takes a toy, but he should at least have his other priorities in order. I told him to stop looking for a toy and get his socks and shoes on....this is when the fighting began. He threw a toy at Jacob (which caused mommy to see red) and then he sat on his favorite chair, folded his arms and said, "I DON'T WANT TO!"

Something you should know about me....I do NOT like to lose a fight, especially to a defiant child. I know it's something I should learn to let go, but I would like for him to obey his parents....just weird that way, I guess.

After much yelling and screaming, I lost it. I didn't beat him to death (although I was very tempted...) but I shook him and yelled....a lot. So I finally got ahold of my thoughts and sent Cameron to time-out before I REALLY lost it and hurt him, then I sat down and tried SO hard to calm myself down. It's hard to do that when you hear, "I HATE you, MOMMY!! I hate YOU too, Jake!!!! I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!"

Finally, after 10 minutes of calming and cooling, we both were fine. Cameron was punished by not being able to take ANYTHING for show and tell. He was okay with it, in fact, he told me that he loved me.

He turned from this horrid monster into my child, my pile of mush.

What happened?? Let me tell you, it's a little thing called a pill. I don't know why he can't be kind without it, but it seems he just can't.

I'm very glad that we have this modern medicine, but I'm ready for a continuous drip. I want my child back.

A Lot to Say, No Particular Story to Share

Lately I've been in kind of a funk. I'm not all that happy with my hubby (I've been pretty grumpy, poor guy...) I've been a bear to my boys....it's not cool.

I think I need to make some new goals that will help me out. I need to go to bed at a decent hour (said the crazy lady at 2:30 in the morning...) I need to eat healthy foods. I need to exercise. I need to clean my house.

I'm just in a funk. Don't mind me.

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I also don't have a lot to say about Osama's death. I am glad that we found him, but I don't know that his death is helpful. (I know, I may be opening a can of worms by saying this.) I'm sure he's got other trained members of his group ready to step up and take his place. I think we're not finished, and things won't be better any quicker.

I believe that Osama Bin Ladin will be judged by God, given the correct and just consequenses, but I would LOVE to see that exchange.

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I'm on a Glee kick right now.

Steve and I found the first season on Netfilx, and we watched the whole thing in a week. We loved it and fell in love with the music. I've been listening nightly to the music and just singing, rocking-out, and enjoying it.

I wish the second season was available....I can't quite just jump into the middle of it without knowing what has happened before. *sigh* I will wait, but I won't like it.

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My boys have been pretty cute lately. I pulled out the camera for some reason last week and both posed for a picture. It was pretty funny.

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I've got two new night stands that match my pretty bed. LOVE them. We're trading them for our out-of-commission van. I think it's worth it!

Echo?

Seriously, I'm talking to myself, I know it, but come ON!! :(

I'm going off somewhere to pout.

Phone Woes

Yesterday I jumped onto our computer to do a few things and found that the internet wasn't working. I didn't really think too much of it, and played a game until Steve woke up. Once he was awake I told him that the internet was off, and I didn't know what was wrong.

He played around with it for a while and eventually figured out that it was more than just a messed up modem.....our whole phone system was off. The phones weren't working. (No WONDER it had been such a quiet, peaceful morning...) He asked me if I'd paid our bill, I told him I did, so I didn't know what was wrong.

I hurried over to my mom's house to use HER phone to call the phone company. After 15 minutes I was told that they were going to send out a technician to fix the problem....TOMORROW.

How in the world was I going to live without the internet for a full day? This was going to be torture!

My mom let me borrow her cell phone, just in case I needed it for anything, and then I hurried home to tell Steve what was going on before he had to go to work.

That night, I played with my boys. We made cupcakes (making a MESS) and then we watched TV. After they were in bed, I played my computer game for HOURS. Once Steve came home after midnight, I even went to the store. I have to admit, driving around town at 2:30 in the morning is SO fun and relaxing....there is NO ONE you have to worry about. I went to Walmart and bought the new Harry Potter movie, drove around a little bit and then came home.

This morning I waited for the repairman to come. Finally around 10:00 there was a knock at the door. I hurried to answer it, and found it was a repairWOMAN. She was very kind and said that the problem was coming from INSIDE our apartment. She quickly checked all the phone jacks that we have in use....clearing them almost instantly. After taking her upstairs to my bedroom, she asked if there were ANY other jacks, I said I didn't think so, then she asked if there was a jack in the boys' bedroom. Funny she should mention that, there IS one, but we don't use it....

Unless you happen to be 2 and 3/4 years old, full of mischief and in possession of a tinker-toy. Jake had taken his orange tinker-toy stick and STUCK it in the jack. I was SO embarrassed.

Thankfully the lady was understanding and said it happens all the time.

Now we're back. (YAY!) But I'm seriously contemplating banishing tinker-toys from my house.

Getting Ridiculous...

For quite a while now I've found myself falling asleep in any comfortable spot. I can be on my couch, at my parents' house, sitting quietly at the computer....it doesn't matter. I will fall instantly asleep. My boys are quite used to it, and Jake has learned to entertain himself rather well...despite his new coloring fetish. He will play with toys or find something to eat.

Today we had a "friend" over. (You should know, any child that is Jake's age or interacts with him is his friend...he has a lot of friends.) This friend was a little boy I've never really met before, but seemed sweet enough. He was fairly mellow, and Jake and he got along VERY well.

Part way through the play date, I turned on my sleeping nemesis: SpongeBob. It doesn't matter HOW many times I've seen the episode, SpongeBob WILL put me to sleep. Soon enough, I was snoozing, and the little boy came over to me and asked, "Hey, are you sleeping??" I quickly answered that I was, and he should go and play with the trucks or watch SpongeBob.

I just cannot help myself. I need help...this is getting ridiculous.

Ten Minutes of Chaos

Today was a fairly uneventful day....except for little 10 minute block. It was right after I turned off my computer this morning. As I turned around to talk to Jake, he began choking on a jelly bean. He had it stuck pretty tight....so he came running to me, gasping with tears running down his face the whole time. I grabbed him and did the Heimlich Maneuver a few times until he was breathing (bawling) and okay. He was pretty scared, but only stayed on my lap for 30 seconds before he was off and running again.

A little bit later, I told him NOT to eat anything but I had to go switch over the laundry. Our laundry is in our basement, and there's a locking door between the two floors. Usually I keep the door open and I don't worry too much about it. I hurried down and switched the clothes over and talking to Jake, who was at the top of the stairs by the door. Soon the door slammed. Once I'd gotten my laundry gathered I was at the top of the stairs I couldn't open the door.

He'd locked it.

I wasn't dressed...I was in my pajamas, bare-footed, and my front door was locked anyway....I banged on the door and yelled for Jake to open the door. He couldn't, because he didn't know how to unlock the door. Finally, after a minute of coaching, he opened it.

ALL this happened within the same 10 minute time frame. I don't think I can get away with ANYTHING anymore. He's too smart for his own good.

Inspiration

My boys have been at one another all day long. Why do we HAVE to celebrate dead presidents anyway??

I've been slowly going a bit crazy. I walked past their hole of a bedroom and about lost it, then I thought, "Let's make this a game...."

I came into the living room and said, "Okay guys, I need you to do something for me...as FAST as you can....go upstairs and throw ALL the toys into the toy box...on your mark, get set.....GO!" Both boys were off. Within a few minutes they came back wanting more....

Work doesn't have to be hard...it can be fun too. :)

I Cannot Win

Jacob is a button-pusher. I mean this literally as well as figuratively. He is constantly getting into things he shouldn't and making them do things they shouldn't.

While we were camping with my parents over Labor Day weekend, Jake managed to push the buttons in their RV in JUST the right way to over-ride the ENTIRE electrical system. It took 3 grown men a full day to figure out WHAT he did and to fix it.

A while back, I left him watching cartoons while I took a fast shower. Now, for me, a shower is no longer than 5 minutes...this includes shaving of the legs AND a full hair treatment. I take VERY quick showers. In that amount of time, he'd managed to lose our TV remote (which is quite important, we can't turn the blasted thing off without the remote) and play with my phone, calling my youngest brother. I got out of the shower just in time to hear that he'd transferred the call to the upstairs phone and hear it ring ONCE. I looked on my caller-ID and thought that he'd called back the last person who had called me. So I called my mom, only to find out he hadn't called her, and she hadn't called us. When I hung up with my mom, my younger brother called asking if I had called him. I told him apologetically that it was Jake, and I was sorry he'd bothered him at work.

Last week, two days before the time change, my alarm clock (which is FANTASTIC, it's an automatic clock, I don't have to mess with the time ever....as long as it's set correctly) changed time. Steve was getting ready for work when we noticed it was an hour slow. How did that happen?? Someone, most likely Jake, messed with the DAY setting on the thing. He set it two days fast.

Knowing all of the things Jake could do, I've taken a few precautions: Our TV has a plastic cover over the buttons, so he can't randomly change channels, turn up the volume unexpectedly, or turn the TV off while we're watching something. I put all remotes and phones up high, where he can't reach. We have a lock on our computer, and turn it on ANY time we're not on it. And I've pushed EVERYTHING back on my kitchen and bathroom counters. I've even taken off the latch on the dishwasher, so he can't make it run.

Again, remembering my little button pusher, I went to take a shower today. I took the phone and remotes and put them up high, and hid the upstairs remote before going into the bathroom. Jacob, my sneaky little boy, came upstairs and played with Steve's clock-radio. He turned the alarm on, the radio on and then pushed his book off of his night stand. When I was getting my hair dry, he found Steve's fancy lotion, like the expensive kind, and SLATHERED everything in sight, the alarm clock, the night stand, the sheet and comforter, his hands and his shirt. Then he came into the bathroom and proudly said, "Mom, I washed my hands!"

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Jake is a button pusher, and no matter WHAT precautions I take, no matter HOW safe I THINK I am, he finds something else to get into and more buttons to push....mainly MINE!

I'm Off....

My sleep schedule is thoroughly messed up. I have been staying up way late every night this week. It's starting to drive me a little crazy.

Then when I don't sleep at night, I end up napping through out the day...that doesn't help.

I really need to get back on a schedule....so starting tonight, I'm going to go to bed at a fairly decent hour and try NOT to nap after church.

Here's hoping I become *normal* after this.

So Much For Peace

It was too good to be true. Jake makes it IMPOSSIBLE to have peace when Cam's in school.

While I was online yesterday, posting about Cameron and his first day of school, Jake found my fingernail polish. The boy painted the wall, my couch, his clothes and his body. I was SO upset! Then he was blatantly disobedient ALL day long.

So far today, he's messed with the computer, tried to stick his wet, sticky straw into the television, thrown toys AND the toy box, and run from me MULTIPLE times. He's going to kill me, isn't he?

Maybe having Cameron around IS helpful after all.