Ward Reunion Update

I'm sorry I don't have my pictures up for this last weekend...we got a new camera and we're STILL figuring it all out!

Saturday was fun! We went and spent a few hours with Steve's parents and brother. Talked and laughed...educated and supported....it was all good.

Then we attempted to find our way through the hills in Steve's hometown. My old bishop's new house was in a NICE area, but neither one of us were really familiar with the place. Eventually we found a brightly lit up house with many cars around it. We went up to the door, pressed the call button, and found ourselves invited in.

As I went down the stairs I was a bit apprehensive. I could hear that former crush talking, and I had completely forgotten that STEVE'S former crush would ALSO be there. I shouldn't have worried so much! We all had a fun time! Laughing and telling stories just like we hadn't been apart! I was really glad to have gone to this activity because it gave me the opportunity to apologize to people I hadn't seen for years!

When I was in college I was extremely self-centered, very bossy, rude, and mean! (Okay, not totally, but I had my moments...) Anyway, there was one guy who we ALWAYS picked on, and I've always felt guilty because I was so awful to him. He showed up with his wife. I guess his wife had been in the ward the year AFTER I left, and she knew pretty much everyone too...except for me. We talked and I told her that I really had regretted the way I had treated her husband when we were in school, and I hoped that he didn't feel like we hated him or anything, because he was really one of THE nicest guys I had ever known! She seemed to understand what I was talking about and said he didn't really say much about it.

After that we all talked and I totally felt like myself. I haven't felt like ME in so long! It's been weird, but when I'm with these people (many I've only known for those short months I was in college) I feel more like the OLD me which really feels like the ONLY me! (Okay, I know I've lost a few readers here....I apologize!) I haven't laughed and had that much fun in a VERY long time!

The fun part of the evening was when one of my bridesmaids showed up. I haven't seen her FOREVER! She had gotten married, her husband had joined the Navy and last I had heard she moved to California. Since I lost contact she'd moved back in-state, and is expecting her second baby. I was thrilled to see her and catch up. SERIOUSLY the funnest night I've had in a LONG time!

Former crush, bridesmaid, and good friend.

Once I can figure out my dumb camera I'll put up those pictures. We got a couple of the WHOLE group and I snapped a few of the few friends I, personally, was closest with! I highly recommend going to (or even putting these together) one of these events...they're so much fun!

This is the WHOLE group! It was kinda dark, but we all had a good time!

True Treasures: Family and Friends

My mom came back from visiting my grandparents and carried with her a treasure trove of information, pictures and family history! My grandparents have recently moved and have carried a LOT of stuff with them that they didn't know was there! So my step-grandma, going through the stuff came across this folder overflowing with old newspaper clippings of obituaries, funeral programs, and a few life sketches and some amazing family pictures!

I had to turn off the television and just look through all of the papers! I am SO excited for all of this stuff! I'm not a HUGE family history buff, but it does interest me and I do love putting the names together in an organized way! Now I just have to start scanning the pictures and things! OOOHHH!! I'm SO excited!

And tomorrow I'm going to a reunion that I never really thought would be happening. It's a ward reunion for my college ward. How cool is that? We're meeting tomorrow night at my old bishop's house! I'm excited to see everyone and a little nervous about seeing my former crush! (I know I shouldn't worry about it, but I did like the guy for nearly a year...with NO returning attractions, mind you!) The really interesting thing about this reunion will be who I'm taking with me. I'm taking one of my friends who I had a HUGE falling out with until the beginning of this year! We'd been out of touch with one another for at least 6 years. Now we're friends again, just like nothing had happened! It'll be interesting to see who notices that we're friends again, but then, who really cares. It should be a fun night all around!

Weird Call

I'm getting over my shock...Thank you all for your support and prayers. I WILL keep you all updated on the situation! But until then I'm determined to be happy! Enjoying everything!

While I was in the middle of restocking my newly defrosted fridge, and enjoying babies' naptime on my crazy Thursday, I got a long distance call. I know it's a long distance call thanks to the cool ring it gets bring bring! I wondered if it was the geneticist again, looked at the caller ID and saw "LDS Church Main." OH MY GOODNESS!! WHAT DO THEY WANT WITH ME!? IS IT THE PROPHET? HAVE I BROKEN SOME SERIOUS LAWS?? ARE THEY GOING TO GIVE ME A CALLING?! I HOPE NOT! WHO COULD IT BE?

Me: "Hello?" (Imagine a quivering, squeaky voice)

Man: "Sister Dawnyel? This is Elder Hales from the records department at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints."
Me: THINKING 'Phew, I'm not in trouble!'

Man: "We have the records for a 'Daren' and wondered if you had his address. His current ward has requested his information, but didn't have an address."

At this point I was thoroughly relieved, and tried to help, but quickly realized I didn't have ANY of my brother's info! I quickly gave the man my mom's phone number, and told him that she could probably help him.

Now, here's my ponderance for the day: Why did they call me? I'm his SISTER! Not only that, but our last names aren't even the SAME anymore! Oh, well, it makes for a fun story! :)

Back to Salt Lake

Distressing call today during my recovery nap! It was Dr. S, Cam’s geneticist from yesterday. He had reviewed the back x-ray (they just x-rayed his spine...to see if there is a chance he could have scoliosis) and Cam has a slight curvature of his lower spine.
Things got upsetting really quickly.
He told me that we need to get Cam BACK to Primary’s for an MRI. The concern is that, while most of the tumors that kids with NF1 get are benign and completely harmless, there’s a chance of getting another type of tumor. This kind is the bad kind...the kind I didn’t really think too much about when we were having our conversations yesterday in the clinic, I think I was in denial. With the kind of NF1 that Cam has, he has a slightly higher chance of getting this one (don’t ask me the EXACT name...I couldn’t tell you.) It is highly cancerous and grows at an accelerated rate. Now, what does this have to do with a slightly curvy spine? These kinds of bad tumors grow next to the spine and tend to push it out of alignment. I had mentioned to the doctor that Cameron tends to whine to us that his tummy hurts, and we can’t always tell whether it REALLY hurts, or he’s trying to get sympathy for something, but he said that we should take his complaints seriously, and just as a precaution, check to see if he’s starting to grow a tumor which is causing this bent spine.
As he’s telling me all of this information I was speechless! In my mind I was thinking the worst. "My son has this tumor, he’s going to die from this, and I gave it to him!" I know, I know...irrational thoughts! But these are the things going through my mind. I asked Dr. S how urgent it is that we get this test done. He said he’d like to see it done as soon as we could...within the next 2 or 3 weeks. He told me that he’d get the information to the MRI center, and he’d call me back with the information.
As he hung up, I looked at Steve and we had a whole conversation without words. He could tell something was wrong, but didn’t know the exact details. I filled him in, and then I HAD to call my mom. (She’s the one who goes with us to these appointments, and the one I turn to after Steve when I’m distressed and upset!) I told her the basics of the conversation, and she told me that if we had to go, she’d be there with me. I told her I was waiting for the doctor to call me back, and said good bye.
The tears were just rolling down my cheeks...my voice was cracking and my sweet son came over to me, and told me, "Mama, I’m gonna wipe away your tears." And then he gently did so! That didn’t help the flow of tears, but it did soften my heart a bit!
Doctor S called us back with the phone numbers and said that if we couldn’t get in with them in the next month, call him back immediately. I called the MRI people and got it scheduled for November. Then they told me that I’d have to register him and gave me THAT number. After all was said and done I was emotionally wiped out. I had a blank stare for a long time tonight. I kept internalizing, worrying, and mourning. YES, I did say "mourning!" I worry that I will lose this sweet boy who has been my entire life for the past 6 years. I fear finding out that he has this tumor, and what it will mean for my family. The one fear that is foremost on my mind is that he will slowly fade away, getting sicker and sicker, and I won’t have ANY way of helping him. I know I shouldn’t be thinking this way, but I do. I should just let the doctors do the tests BEFORE jumping to conclusions. I just have a hard time doing so. After all, he could be TOTALLY healthy, there could just be a curve in his spine. It could just be another one of those things that makes him him.
The interesting thing about this whole thing is that we wouldn’t even have a clue that he could have this problem if I hadn’t agreed to let them do this research using Cam. They don’t normally go around doing x-rays, bone density scans, blood tests and everything on everyone who comes in for a check-up. I just hope that if he DOES have anything, they will be able to treat it quickly and safely. I’m just so worked up over the whole thing...I don’t quite know what to do!

Hell and It's Inhabitants Convention

I'm SO glad to be home! This trip was fun, informative, and MORE than I had expected! I'll attempt to summarize the fun parts of the trip:

We left town around 2:30 yesterday afternoon...hoping to make it to my sister's house in Logan (OOOOOHH!!! AAAAHHHH!!) before it got dark. We made it! Cam asking the whole way, "Are we in Logan yet?!" Realize, THIS is what parents are complaining about!
Along the way we pass a record number of dead skunks...yell out "STELLLLLLLAAAAAA!!!" Every time we pass a particularly rank one. (In honor of our new favorite movie, Over the Hedge.)
Drop our stuff off at my sister's house while I attempt to fill out and sign consent forms that had been emailed to me just an hour before we left town. (There was 70 pages worth of stuff that I had to print off...needless to say, my printer threw a tantrum a couple of times..."low black ink"..."out of paper"...) All the while trying to decide where to go for dinner.
My bil drives us to the Cabin Fever Cafe. Enjoy an evening filled with live entertainment, and excellent food!
Remember (after the sun has set, of course) that we had wanted to see the BRAND new Extreme Makeover Home Edition house that they built in Logan. (OOOOOHHHH!! AAAAAHHH! No, really...it's pretty cool!) Decide to go and see it anyway. Find that this street has become Logan's most popular within a short amount of time! Stop in front of the house to see little boys with HUGE grins on their faces peeking out of the garage door. (I think they were excited to get all of that attention!) Notice the small mess the people on the show left behind...extra sod on the street, street closed signs still in the middle of the road...But feel privileged to see it. (Thinking in my head, "Ty was here YESTERDAY!!")
Have a shopping spree at Walmart. See where my sister and bil work, take a few laps around the temple...admire the green glow...go back to their apartment and crash for the night.
Wake up at 2:30 in the morning when the baby UPSTAIRS cries. Stay awake fretting for an hour...finally collapsing around 3:30ish. Cam rolls over and in a sleepy voice says, "I can't see the Temple!!" Then giggles hysterically for no good reason. (What a dream!)
Alarm goes off at 5:30, and prepare for a VERY long day.
Leave town at 6:00, and drive thru CRAZY Utahn traffic! (UGH!)
Park in front of Lagoon...not a planned park! Hear Cam ask, "Why we stopped?" Answer him with, "Because everyone in front of us is parked too!"
Drive thru Salt Lake and see a sign off the side of the road reading: "Hell and it's Inhabitants Convention." Comment to my mom that I don't want to go to that one, THANKS!

Arrive at PCMC at 8:00, and go to see the opthamologist. Wait forever to see the doctor, since his son is about to go into surgery. Have the initial exam where Cam cries hysterically and refuses to cooperate. End up getting his eyes dilated, where he BAWLS his eyes out...nearly flushing out the eye drops...and finding out the kid has now developed near-sightedness along with his astigmatism (thanks to those genes from his mama!) Anytime anyone new comes into the room he asks, "Are you gonna take my blood?" (Can you tell the kid was paranoid?)

Get done with the eye-guy early, and check into the genetics clinic an HOUR early. Get in to see the doctor an HOUR early! (I LOVE this hospital!)

Get TONS of information about NF1 and get many a question answered! Find that Cam DOES have some benign tumors (on his bum and a cluster on the bottom of his foot...) and get some great advice.

After this appointment, trot over the cool linking bridge between hospitals to U of U Medical Center. Start his other tests. First one is the blood draw to which 5...count 'em...FIVE adults had to hold the kid down. (Sobbing hysterically the whole time!) Find out the forms I spent forever downloading and printing are NOT viable...the watermark didn't print! Sign the SAME forms again! UGH! After the blood draw, the lady (Heather) gives Cam his choice of gift cards...he picks Toys R Us.

Cam gets his urine samples taken care of! (YAY! I had been hauling them around with us the ENTIRE DAY!) Then he's off with Hillarie to get a bone density scan, full skeletal scan, and then finally an x-ray of his back. After the scan (where the kid who never stops moving had to lay still for 3 full minutes) they print off his skeleton, for him to take home and hang on his door. Everywhere he goes he tells the nurses, students, and secretaries that he has an owie on his arm... because they took his blood!

End up making a fast friend of Heather, the assistant in the research department, and hear her infertility story...WOW! I'm SO lucky! :) Then eat lunch and share stories over an ICKY salad and nasty water!

Pack everything back up in the car (by this time it's 3:00 in the afternoon) and start the LONG drive home!

See the "Hell..." sign again and giggle over the way it sounds...Do they really expect a HUGE turn-out?

Get home around 6:30...stop by Albertsons for their marvelous chicken and salads, and go home!

It was a busy day, but so worth it! The initial results are that Cam is pretty healthy, getting the services that he needs, and will have to go back again for more "fun" NEXT year. The day was pretty much a blur of events, but we got a TON accomplished! Now, we just continue doing what we've ALWAYS done: love our son, and continue with all of the therapies and aides he's getting!

The Definition Meme

Nikko from Three Blond Boys tagged me for a post that is RIGHT up my alley! She gave me words that she just made up, and I get to define them. How fun for me! :) (The odd tidbit of the whole thing is that when I copied these words into my WordPerfect program, two of them weren't misspelled! WHOA!)

Peccavi: peck-KAH-vee -verb
What a dentist does with that pokey thingy before he fills a cavity. "Please hand me that pokey thingy...I'm going to peccavi the heck out of this tooth to make sure this cavity is big and painful enough."

Turptitude: turp-TY-tood -noun
The way you feel after being in an enclosed room with a can full of turpentine. "This time her turpitude is a bit on the giggly side!"

Coracle: kor-UH-kl -adjective
An apple-like shape; the shape an apple has after eating the edible parts. "That rock has a coracle shape to it. Look, it even looks like someone bit into the seeds!"

Lucubration: LOOS-oo-BRAY-shun -noun
An abrasion that a child gets when they pull out a tooth. "Sally's gums had a major lucubration after Bobby kicked her tooth out of her mouth."

This was fun, now I tag anyone so inclined to define:
agloobia
sympsis
boogliah
chooch

(If you do decide to define these words...let me know...I'd like to know what I've been talking about for all of these years!)

And now I'm off for Cam's doctor appointments in Salt Lake. I mentioned earlier that we were hoping he wouldn't be getting poked or anything, and then the doctor called me and asked if the could do a 5-year study on Cam regarding NF1. I agreed, and then found out he has to have all sorts of tests done...blood work, x-rays, urine tests, bone density scans... Poor boy! I guess it wasn't meant to be! :P

Teething? At My Age??

I'm doing MUCHO bettero! :) This morning wasn't the best, but it did go better! L and E were at my house bright and early, and both slept fairly well...unfortunately, I didn't! I had been awake since 4:30, and didn't get a chance to snooze until 10:30...when L was watching Over the Hedge, and baby E had finally cried himself to sleep.
I'm finding myself back into the teething stages! Didn't think I'd be there again until I had a baby of my own, but with the whole babysitting adventure it comes with the territory. Both baby E and baby J are teething...so is little L! What's in the water here? I didn't realize that E was teething until he had been screaming bloody murder for several hours. It took me a minute to realize he kept stuffing his whole hand into his mouth...then salivating profusely! (A.K.A. drooling!) Once I realized he was miserable...it was almost time for his mom to pick him up! DOH! So I dosed the kid with "the purple stuff," and he almost instantly calmed down and slept peacefully for a few hours! What a relief!
So now I'm petitioning those of you who have been through this process more recently than me (or maybe those who had an EXCELLENT tip) for advice. I used the infant's Tylenol, and with baby J we used Ambesol, but what to do when neither of those work? I gave screaming E a washcloth to chew on, and it helped, but I want more help. What is a good remedy for relief from teething pain?

My Many Moods

I feel refreshed! I had NO kids today (well, other than Cam...) and I got to do whatever my heart desired! So, why did I feel so guilty?

I woke up at the time I would normally be getting up for my normal Thursday, and couldn't sleep. I began stressing about all of the things going on in my life, then I started to feel guilty over not having any real responsibilities today. Ugh! I tried and tried to sleep, but got nowhere, so I pulled out my most recent book, hurried off to the potty-room and read until my husband woke up for the day.

Soon after he woke up, I fell asleep, and didn't really want to wake up! But I did.

I have been feeling like I'm trapped in a swirling black hole and I can't find myself. I figured if I focused on my family, and more specifically on Cameron, then I'd be able to find myself again. So I made a plan.
I picked up Cam from school, and told him that after lunch I would take him to the park and then maybe we'd go for a walk and gather up fun leaves. The kid was THRILLED beyond belief. With me babysitting nearly everyday he's been feeling neglected, and has even been whining to just sit on mama's lap...just for a little while. After eating lunch, we were off to the park. I let him play on the toys, and just watched as I felt myself sink lower and lower into self-pity and depression. I then made a decision: I'm going to have fun with my son...whatever he wants me to do, I'm going to do it!

I had fun! Cam wanted me to slide on the slides with him, and I did...a little! I played monster with him...and spent a good majority of the time "in jail." We rolled and romped in the fallen leaves and had a leaf fight! After playing with him for a little while I felt better...not healed, but better! We had a fun walk home, and ended up making rubbings of our treasured leaves. He seemed to enjoy himself, and wants to do it again tomorrow...which we can't do, because I'm back to babysitting, but it was fun for the short time we did have!

Please bear with me...I don't know what's wrong with me, but I am determined to NOT let it take over my life. I know I am bigger and better than how I feel at the moment, so I'm seriously thinking about changing my life around...getting more active...and NOT feeling guilty for putting myself and family first! It's a change that will take time, but I'm determined to overcome!

Wits End

Today was NOT a good day! I had been hoping that since I just had L and E to babysit it wouldn't be so bad, but that wasn't the case!!
My entire family didn't get to bed until WAY late last night...(daddy had play practice that ended at 10:00, and I NEEDED to talk with my mom after what happened yesterday...) so we didn't get to our own beds until 10:30 or later! This small thing can cause enormous problems...especially if you're supposed to be awake at 5 AM!
Anyway, I was grumpy, Cam was grumpy, little L was grumpy, and baby E? He was happy as a clam...well, for a while! To make story short: fighting, back-talking, and biting were involved! Not a fun day...not fun at all!
Then I got a call from my friend (mother of L and E). I love her dearly, but that woman thinks she needs to call me all of the time! It's gotten to the point where if I see her number on the caller-ID I'll ignore it. (Not a very good friend, am I?)
She wanted to find out exactly what had happened today and wanted me to call her back. I ended up leaving for a quick shopping spree with my husband and son, but when I got back I decided I needed to call her and BEG for time off. If not for anything else, but for my own sanity!
We talked and came to the conclusion that we BOTH needed time with our families, so tomorrow is our unofficial day-off. I hope it helps on BOTH ends!
I don't want to be negative all of the time, but I'm so burned out with the whole babysitting thing. I don't mind helping out once in a while, but having to be there ALL of the time is wearing on me! I don't like having my whole world revolve around someone else's family! This is NOT how I pictured my life!! I certainly hope that this new schedule change will help out! We all need the help!
Now, to end on a more positive note:
I'm stealing an idea from someone else's blog. It made me giggle, so I've decided to share my own lists here!

Things that make me smile:

• Smiling babies
• The "look" from my husband
• A surprise email or call from a friend
• Watching my son jump into piles of fallen leaves
• Noticing the sights and smells around me on a cool fall day
• Watching a show that isn't animated
• Older couples still holding hands

Things that drive me nuts:

• Being used by someone I considered a friend
• Disobedient children
• Long nights and early mornings
• Mean children
• Not getting a shower when I need it
• Naps cut short

Shout Out to All "Dudes!"

On the way to school this morning Cameron looked up at me and said matter of factly, "Mom, boys are dudes."
Trying to get him thinking about WHY he said that I asked him, "So what are girls?"
He was silent for a while and then he said, "They're dudes too!"

Gotta love that kid! :)

I have more in common with the Cowardly Lion....

I saw something today. I know NOW that I should have done something about it, but at the time I was just so shocked that I did NOTHING.

I was walking across the street to get in my van to pick up Steve from work. As Cam and I were leaving our apartment, the neighbor boy stormed out of his apartment across the street. I watched in horror as he opened a car door, pulled out a little girl (a few years younger than him) and proceeded to kick and beat her badly!

The whole thing lasted probably 10 seconds, but it seemed like forever as I watched what he was doing. I guess I didn't do anything because I thought the girl's mom was in the car with her, but she wasn't...it was another little girl. In shock I watched him walk away, his fists clenched, as the other little girl climbed out of the car, helped up the other girl, and they ran back to their apartment.
I walked over to them and asked if they were okay, the one answered that they were fine, but I was still thinking about it the whole drive to my husband's work.

When Steve came out to the car I told him what had happened and he asked if I called the police. I asked if there was anything they could do about it (the boy is 13) and he said it would be the right thing to do. So I asked him to dial the number for me and I told the dispatcher what I had seen. She got the details and asked my name. I gave it to her, but asked that I remain anonymous (fearing retribution from that kid on my own son.) She assured me it would be anonymous, and asked if the officers could call me if needed. Since I'm not at my house, they would have to call my cell phone, so I told her my number and waited for the calls.

The dispatcher sent over an officer to check on the girl, and that officer called me a couple of times...the last time to tell me that the families would work it out on their own.
Now, what would you have done?

I'm kicking myself right now with what I didn't do! I should have put a stop to what he was doing when I saw it happening. I guess my fears won out. That boy scares me! He's bipolar and is currently taking new meds...which are NOT working properly! This isn't the FIRST time he's beat up a neighbor child...from what I've heard HIS mother filed a restraining order against THAT child...what's wrong with that picture? I just worry about what he'll do to my child! Now I'm even MORE paranoid about my neighborhood...I just keep repeating the phrase: "I love my neighbors....I love my neighbors....I love my neighbors..."

Synopsis of My Weekend

This last weekend was a good break for me! I really needed it after all of the things that went on last week. I'm REALLY looking forward to NEXT week, simply because I only have to babysit on Thursday and Friday....that's it!! That's enough to make me happy to go through this LONG week before my blissful week of 2 days!

The reason I'm only babysitting for 2 days is because Cameron and I are going on a special trip that interferes with my usual babysitting schedule...we're going to Primary Children's Medical Center for Cam's yearly genetics check-up. We go every year, but this year we're going later on than we normally do. Usually we go in the middle of the summer, but our summer was SO packed that we had to put it off. And since we have to make the LONG trip to Salt Lake from Idaho we had to get all of the kid's appointments made for the same day...that way we're only making the trip ONCE! Getting it all coordinated was a pain, but it will be worth it! For the most part, they're just keeping tabs on him...checking his blood pressure, making sure his CAL spots are normal, checking him for tumors...that sort of thing. I'm hoping that he won't need extra tests! His main concern when we tell him that we're going to the doctor is whether: 1. Is grandma going? (She is.) and 2. Are they going to hurt me? Here's hoping they won't!

Yesterday we finished up our last week of competition for our Singing Time Olympics. At last count the Junior primary was kicking butt...571 points to the Senior primary's 546.5. Yesterday I felt sorry for the older kids and gave them the opportunity to get 40 points per song. That wasn't such a good idea! Thanks to those extra points, the senior primary technically won the olympics! I discussed it with the Primary president and one of the counselors, and we all decided to make it closer in points, because without those "extra" points they would have most likely tied! Not only that, but the Junior kids try SO much more than those older ones! SO, our final "tally" was Junior primary: 768 to Senior primary: 768.5! (Yes, we had the seniors win by 0.5 points!) But EVERYONE will be getting a medal on the day of our Primary program. So for now I'm collecting the silver tops and bottoms from frozen concentrate juice containers, gluing ribbon to the lids, and making medals out of them. Then I'll glue (not hot glue!) candy to the lids and make a cool award! I just need to locate the lids now! I'm going to put an announcement in our ward bulletin starting this week! I need about 58 lids...here's what I get for being overly motivated!!

I also did BOTH singing times yesterday. It wasn't too bad! Usually I have to plead and cry to get the senior primary to sing, but yesterday they sang better than I've EVER heard them sing before! I was so proud of them! (I told them that too!) Now my next challenge is finding a few more soloists for when we sing Follow the Prophet. We're having one child sing one verse, then another one sing the next verse, then we're ALL singing and signing the chorus. Repeat 2 more times for a total of 6 verses! (So it's 2 verses and then the chorus...) And we're not just singing the verses from the Children's songbook either! We're singing verses about Nephi, Helaman, Samuel the Lamanite, Joseph Smith, Brigham Young and Gordon B. Hinckley. Our program is going to be so fun! I'm excited!

Last year for the program they had a lot of smaller groups singing the songs...this year we only have ONE solo, and then the Follow the Prophet thing. Other than those songs the kids are ALL going to sing! That's what I love to see! YAY!

Now it's back to "real" life. I'm going to enjoy myself today! Then it's back to work tomorrow! UGH! I'm going to try and NOT think about it!

Solutions

Things are going better now. We chose solution number 2/3! We're going to graduate from the program (although cutting back on babysitting was highly tempting...) take some of the money and put it into savings (most likely in a bank we don't frequent so the money STAYS put!) and then use some of the money to pay off bills and get repairs that we have been putting off. It's not the ideal situation, but we feel it's what's best for our situation right now.

And we're now fighting the decision the school district came up with for Cameron's "new" development. I didn't go into too much detail over the whole thing, so let me explain what's been happening to our family.

Cameron was psychologically tested and the results from the test showed that Cameron is "mentally retarded" or as they started to put it in the meetings I've been to "cognitively impaired." According to the scores on the test, he scored very low...at 55. Average mental capacity is between 85 and 115. At first I was a bit disturbed by the whole thing, but came to accept it as the truth I was unwilling to see.

At his IEP meeting options were discussed, and the principal decided that it would be in his best interests to maybe go into the developmental kindergarten. I was highly upset by this comment, and tried to ignore it. After school that day Cameron's teacher confided in me that she thinks those test results are wrong. I asked her why and she told me that she's had students in her class who have scored 65 on that same test who were FAR below Cameron's development and ability in her class. She told me NOT to worry about DACC, because he was succeeding where he is! In fact he's in the middle of the class when it comes to his learning abilities. She said, "He fits in perfectly with this class!" I told her that I think he may have been tired and uncooperative the day they tested him, and maybe I'd think about getting him retested.

The next time I saw the school psychologist I asked him if it was possible to retest Cameron, because I wanted piece of mind. I told him that I think Cameron may not have been in the best frame of mind, and just to satisfy me, would he mind retesting him on a day where he was more like himself. He told me that he wasn't sure he could do it, but he'd look into it.

I let things go at that for a while, complaining to people who know my situation with Cameron and asking what they'd do in my situation. I had even talked with his service coordinator who suggested that even if they couldn't get to retesting him THIS year, make them do it next year.

Then I went to help in Cam's class on Monday. His in-school occupational therapist pulled me out of the class to chat. She told me of how deeply disturbed she was over the whole situation and wanted to know what I thought. I told her what the teacher had said and she agreed with that assessment whole-heartedly. She told me that the results were NOT right, and we should fight them as much as we could. Then she told me that we didn't have that discussion, because the school doesn't listen to ANYTHING she has to say. That's not right. She's a professional who works with my son and knows his abilities. WHY not!?

Upon hearing these disagreements with the test results, my mind has been put at ease. I DO know my son better than the people at the school do, and I need to fight for his rights, because NO one else will! I plan on talking with the school psychologist again. Maybe this time I can get some definite answers!

I've been getting through this time with the help of some dear friends! I've been able to vent my feelings (in a purging fashion) and just doing that little bit has been an enormous help! I think things have just been piled upon me for too long and my poor body can't handle the pressure I've been going through. So to those of you who have been helping me out...THANK YOU! I didn't realize how much I needed a good friend, and you have been there to help me! I'm so glad I have people who worry about me, and want me to succeed! :)

What To Do?

I'm so frustrated right now! I got a call this morning that turned my day upside-down! We were informed that since we now make more money (thanks in part to my babysitting jobs) we are now required to "graduate" from this cool program that we're on.
They take a portion of the money we pay for rent and put it into an escrow account. We can't touch it, and it gets updated every time we pay rent. Well, since we're graduating from this program, we will no longer be able to put money into this account. In fact, upon graduating we'll receive this money. Doesn't sound too bad, does it!? Well, for us it is! We are HORRIBLE savers! If someone gives us money, we usually spend it. With this program it was pretty much, out of sight, out of mind.

Now we have a dilemma.

If we graduate from this program and take our escrow account, it won't be what we had hoped to get for a down payment on a house. In fact, if we could stick in this program for another year or so, we'd have the right amount! So our options are: 1. Cut back on babysitting ONE day a month. Doesn't sound like much, but that one day will allow us to stay in the program (since we're over our allowed limit by $5!!) 2. Graduate and put the money to use other places. 3. Graduate and put the money into an account somewhere where it will possibly sit for a few years until we're ready to buy a house.
This program that we're apart of is really nice. I despise the meetings that we have to go to, but it's been very helpful in accessing community programs we otherwise would have no way of getting into. But I really just want to be done with the whole thing! I can't figure out what to do! It's been bothering me since I found out about it! ARGH!
Then I've been having some pretty lousy days with babysitting. I had another run-in with those parents who leave their kids with me without giving me prior notice! So I enforced my overtime fee. The mom was shocked, since she thought she had warned me, but she paid it anyway. I hate to be a pushy person, but I don't want to go crazy babysitting other people's kids either. I'm almost to the point of quitting, but I'll hang in there at least until after the new schedule kicks in. (Dad's shifts change within the next few weeks, so instead of babysitting for 6 or 7 hours, it should only be 4 or 5 AND not early morning stuff either!) I'm hoping that this schedule change will help my disposition immensely! I just got so overwhelmed and upset over the whole thing yesterday I was ready to throw in the towel over the whole situation!

The nice thing about today was that it was our Enrichment night. It was the annual visiting teaching conference. It was so good! I came away so motivated and pumped about doing my duty! They showed a slide show with pictures of all of the sisters from the ward put to the music "Angels Among Us" by Alabama (LOVE that song!) And at the very end of it they had this saying:

Christ has no hands, but our hands,

To do His work today;

He has no feet, but our feet,

To lead man on His way;

He has no tongue, but our tongues,

To tell them how He died;

He has no help but our help,

To bring them to His side.

I loved it. We even had some good conversations at our table. All in all, I was VERY glad that I remembered to go to enrichment meeting...because it was just what I needed after a day like today!

Ask and Ye Shall Receive...

I realize that I should have posted these pictures when I posted my whole anniversary story, but I forgot to scan the pictures, so here they are...a few days late! Hope you enjoy them! :) (Gosh, we were REALLY young!)

This is us in front of the "knotty tree" in the bridal garden at the temple. Since then this tree has been cut down, so we're really grateful for these few pictures we have in front of it...it was SO pretty!

A couple of pictures of the beaming bride and groom on the temple grounds.

This is the cute groom! Look at him! I'm so glad he's mine! :) (Please ignore the crookedness of the picture...I can't seem to scan very well!)

And this is the blushing bride. The wind was SO bad that it not only blew my hair all over the place, but it blew my dress and veil all over too! But look at the bushes behind us! It was SO pretty!

All in all it was a memorable day that I love to think back on! Our anniversary this year was fun too. Steve had play practice that night, so I stayed home watching tv. Around 10:00 there was a soft knock on my door. I kind of freaked out, thinking it was the lady that I babysit for or that it was my visiting teaching partner wanting to talk. I quickly answered the door, and what I saw made my jaw drop to the floor. Steve had gone out and bought me a dozen yellow roses. I wasn't expecting it and he knew it! It was a good surprise! Every once in a while I still catch him giggling over the face I made when I answered the door! He got me good! :)

Seven Years Later....

Today is my seventh wedding anniversary. HOLY COW!! Where did the time go!? Gosh!

Seven years ago I was an eager bride excited to be with my cute groom! (He's still cute!) The night before we were married we didn't sleep much (although, I slept more than he did!) I was up early the next morning, ready to get my hair and make-up done, then I was supposed to be off to my wedding at the Idaho Falls Temple. But, since I had wanted my reception at my parents' house, there was still work to be done before we could leave!

Ten minutes before we were to be at the temple I reminded my dad, who had been busy hanging doors and trim, that it was time to go. He apologized and went to take a shower! AH! I was so worried about being late, but my mom assured me that they wouldn't start without me! (She's always the one pointing out the obvious!) So we quickly drove to the temple. When we arrived I noted the relieved look on Steve's face. He has since told me that he worried I wouldn't show up.

After checking in, I met my soon-to-be father-in-law for the first time. (He'd been working everytime I had gone to talk with his parents.) Then I got ready in the beautiful bride's room, and was told by the little old ladies who worked there that I needed to make Steve wait for me...so take my time. I'm not one of those ladies who takes hours and hours to get ready for anything, so going slow was NOT happening! I was quickly dressed and told to sit and wait for my groom...make him wait for me out in the hall!

While I was waiting for him to wait for me, the little old men were telling Steve that the next girl to come out of the dressing area was going to be his bride. He was praying that I would come out next!

The ceremony was lovely, and the advice the sealer gave us was appropriate and beautiful. Then we went to take pictures outside in the wind. The fall colors were gorgeous and the only problem was the Idaho wind! Despite the wind we got some great pictures (which I've YET to get from my photographer....shortly after my wedding he went out of business.)

The luncheon and reception were a blur! We had a packed house with lots of friends and family. Steve's grandparents made the long drive to spend the day with us. In fact, all of his aunts and uncles on his dad's side of the family was there. It was the first time ALL of the brothers had been together in years!

It's hard to believe it's been seven years, but we've gone through a lot and are at a point in our marriage where we're VERY happy and totally in love! I love Steve more now than I thought I would ever love anyone! And that's how it should be!

Prepare for Randomness at it's Finest!

Amanda at Our Lot in Life (I've never told her how much I LOVE her blog name, so Amanda, I love your blog name! :) tagged me for a meme.
The rules of the game are: The meme tagger assigns 4 words and the person being tagged talks about those words. Are you ready for randomness!? Here it comes, ready or not! :)

Hunger: My first thought with this word was: "I don't suffer from this!" It's actually part of a phrase that Cam tells me ALL the time! ("Mama, I'm hungry!") I've actually been feeling hungry a LOT lately! My doctor tells me that one of the meds I'm currently taking will make people gain weight...and I can see why! I'm SO hungry, but then again, I'm not! Aggravation!

Pumpkin: Pumpkins are some of my favorite things to see and decorate with during this time of year. I've always loved carving pumpkins into jack-o-lanterns for Halloween, but I don't like cleaning up afterward. Thinking of the mess left after carving pumpkins reminds me of an activity we did for Honor Society in high school. We had a contest in the cafeteria and we TOTALLY made a huge mess! It was so much fun though!
My favorite jack-o-lantern I've ever seen was one my younger brother made a few years ago...he took the guts from the inside of the pumpkin, put it on a cardboard box in front of the open mouth of the jack-o-lantern and made it look like it had just puked. It was one of the funniest ones I've seen in a long time!
OH! And I absolutely love pumpkin pie! But I'll only eat it during fall, any other time is sacrilegious! And we LOVE to put "plop" on top of it! Yummo! (My husband's work makes a shake that tastes like pumpkin pie with a HUGE dollop of "plop" on top! Mmmm...I want one now!)
And my secret goal is to someday grow the biggest pumpkin EVER! The big ones are my favorites!

Mermaid: Duh! The Little Mermaid! It's my absolute FAVORITE Disney movie of ALL time! I remember when it came out I was in the fifth grade, and as a special treat to all who didn't get yellow tickets (a bad thing) the whole school got to go and watch it in a local theater! My teacher was grilling one boy about whether it ended happily ever after or not before we went. So before seeing it I knew all was going to be good.
When it came out on video I was babysitting for this one family and they had it! I watched it several times whenever I'd babysit! It got to the point where the little 2 year old asked me to NOT watch it again! (But I was in charge...so we did!) It got to the point where I'd sing the songs along with the movie, and he'd just roll his eyes at me! But even after watching this movie over and over and over I STILL love it.
When it was re-released on video I bought it, and then when they re-released it on DVD I bought it. Anyone want a well-loved copy of The Little Mermaid on VHS? I'll only give it to a good home! :)
The last time my family went to Disneyland we heard a story about how much Walt Disney loved the story of the Little Mermaid and wanted to make it into a movie, but didn't live to see it in his lifetime. Then they showed us his favorite little statue of the little mermaid...perched on the rock with her hair being blown in the wind. I think of that statue everytime I watch the movie now! (Since buying the movie this last Tuesday I've started watching it 6 or 7 times, but haven't watched it ALL the way through yet, but I will!)

Carpet: I have a love hate relationship with carpet. I LOVE it on cold days when it's softness is there to keep my tootsies warm, but I hate having it in my bathroom. Whoever designed my apartment building never had a little boy! Our bathrooms SMELL awful! And if we ever have a leak, it gets ALL over the carpet! ICK!
The carpet in our current apartment is the correct color for apartment dwellers: marbled brown. We have every shade of brown in our carpeting that you can think of! (Along with a few Kool-Aid stains that were there BEFORE we moved in!) It's a LOT better than the carpet we had in our last place...beige! Try teaching a toddler NOT to mess up the carpet! Not a fun job!
And of course there are the other random thoughts that popped into my head: When Millie renamed herself the blissful play-doh picker! LOVED that thought! (Hate picking the play-doh though!) And of the time Cam bounced his way down our carpeted stairs when I was potty training the boy! What fun memories! :)

Now it's my turn to tag people! I'm going to tag Mama D, Frog Legs and Nikkie. Their words? Trucks, flip, chair, and clock.

Happy Birthday, Cameron

Six is such a fun age! Life is completely in front of you and you are pretty much invincible!
My sweet son turns six years old today! His birth was a bit traumatic, but my life since then has been filled with many happy moments.
Cameron started life fairly rough....loosing his heartbeat, being x-rayed, and finally placed in the NICU for six days! I joked that I wanted my next baby to be cordless! He was a happy baby from the beginning. He's since developed an attitude, but being my child, that was to be expected! He's grown so much since those early days when I wondered if my baby would be all right. Leaving the hospital without him was the WORST night of my life, but I was blessed to be able to bring him home the next day.
Feedings have always been problem times with him. Since I'm someone who has a healthy appetite, I never figured I'd have this problem. But, thanks to a strong nurse, he overcame his lousy eating habit to eat sufficient to satisfy the doctor's order. I can't believe how much I disliked that doctor for not letting me take my baby home from the hospital! (To this day I won't see this doctor at the clinic!)
Cameron is a happy boy who is ALL boy! He loves to play ball (especially basketball) and can play fairly well. He loves cars and has a brilliant imagination. He is a friend to any child he comes in contact with and doesn't like to see anyone left out! He's been heard to say to a lonely child, "You can be my friend today." I love that he accepts everyone: no matter what they look like, how they act, or what they've done to him in the past. He's accepting of all, and I hope to become like that too!
Cameron has a smile that will melt any heart. Ever since he was small, he would make strangers stop and say what a beautiful child he is.
It's hard to believe that I'm old enough to be the mother of a six-year-old, but I am! And I wouldn't change him or my time with him for ANYTHING!
Happy birthday, Cama-Boo! Love always, Mama!

Thank you!

For those of you who responded to my last post, thank you for all of your kind words and support! After I wrote that post I quickly forgot about what had been bothering me. (The power of venting to the world...) And today while rearranging my living room I got a surprise call from a dear friend. She told me she had just read my post and wanted to know how I was doing. My response? "Uh, what did I write about!?" So I guess not only am I suffering from being overly sensitive, but from amnesia as well! Luckily this phone call was JUST the thing I needed! We talked for nearly 4 hours! (Did you realize this? I didn't until I got off the phone, and looked to see what time you had called! WHOA!) We talked about anything and everything. It was nice to just gab and get things off my chest! I even planned a fun surprise for later on this year! I'm so excited for it! :)

I'm actually getting geared up for Cameron's birthday tomorrow. I can't believe my baby will be 6! It doesn't seem like I should be old enough to have a child that age! It just blows my mind! I will be doing my normal babysitting stuff tomorrow (watching ALL 3 kids) plus Cam has tomorrow off from school. I'll be making his birthday cake tonight and not much else. Since we have our big purchase of pictures, we don't have much extra money for a birthday party, special dinner, or anything like that. We'll be spending the evening with family, and maybe eating pizza. I do have a fun plan for jumping on his bed early in the morning to wish him a happy birthday, but other than that, it will be a fairly normal day! (Poor kid!)

Overly Sensitive?

What do you do when little things rub you the wrong way? When something that shouldn't bother you completely throws you off kilter!? I'm feeling very out of sorts lately, and I can't figure out why!
For example:
Today I took Cam to therapy, sat down in the waiting room, and proceeded to read a magazine that was lying around. As I'm getting into some really interesting articles, another client comes into the building with his mom (or maybe it was his van driver...I really couldn't tell...) Anyway, the therapist that was supposed to be working with the little boy starts up a major conversation with the mom. Now, there are signs all over the waiting room that say something to the effect: as a courtesy to our staff and clients please keep the noise level in the waiting room to a minimum. I'm constantly getting after Cam to keep his voice quiet, so he doesn't bother others. Anyway, this conversation between the therapist and the mom gets louder and louder. Pretty soon I'm having a really hard time concentrating. Now, I realize that those signs AREN'T there for my personal quiet-time, but come on! The conversation lasted for 25 minutes! TWENTY-FIVE MINUTES!! Therapy sessions only last 45! The poor kid got back to the room with just enough time to play and therapize (yes, I know it's not a REAL word...) for 15 minutes! Geez! Talk about being unprofessional! I just wanted to lay into them...telling them that they're not being paid to gossip, but I held it all back! I was so thoroughly annoyed that I had to complain about it to Steve. He tended to agree with me, which makes me think I should have said something about it, but it was a bit late for that! I don't know why it bothered me so much, but it did!
Today wasn't the ONLY time little things have been annoying me lately. There have been other things. Like when my sister was visiting for the weekend, and she said an innocent comment that just got me all annoyed and bothered! Cam is a boy! (I know, it came as a shock to me too!) And little boys are not known for the best potty behavior...anyway, he missed the hole in the toilet, and my sister came up to me, patted me on the shoulder and said, "Cam's mama, you need to teach him to clean up after himself when he goes to the bathroom..." WHY did this bother me!? I should teach him! Maybe it's the fact that my sister is such a neat freak...or the fact that she doesn't have any kids and acts like she knows what's best...whatever the situation...it bothered me when it shouldn't have.
Or what about when I got Cameron's psychological test results that said he was "mentally retarded," and his teacher confided in me that she thinks the results were wrong? Why does it bother me that the school is now labeling my son with that term? And why does it bug the heck out of me that the test results may be wrong? And why does it bug me that after I realized the results may be wrong that the psychologist isn't getting all over re-testing him? WHY!?
And why do little babies crying for no good reason just make me crazy? It used to not bug me so much, but now I want to fix it and make it all better! When I can't control things I just go crazy!
What is my problem!? Am I getting OCD...really bad? Sometimes I feel like I have PMS, but it's NOT time for that...or is it!? Oh, well. Go ahead...tell me to get over these things...I'll accept it...but in the mean time I'll be constructing a post in my head complaining about how THAT bothers me too!

Finally....The Ring (My Precious!)

I've been talking about it for a while, and here it is! My husband's new wedding band. It's not the best picture of it, but you get the idea. There are 5 little diamonds in the middle, and it's got two finishes...matte and shine! I love it! Like I said before...It's the ring I should have bought when I married the man! But it's WELL worth the wait (don't you think!?)

October

I love the month of October. Let me share with you those reasons that I love this month more than others.

Birthday

Cameron's birthday is in a few days. Who WOULDN'T love a month for the birth of their child? I'll be sharing MORE of my memories of that day later this week, but for now...it's a good reason to LOVE October.

Anniversary

My husband and I were married in October. We had originally planned on a different date, but for some reason, it never quite felt right. Once we decided to change the day to October it just worked and things totally fell into place. (Again, I'll be talking more about THAT day in a while!)

Fall

Have I mentioned how much I love fall? I love that after a hot summer, the days cool off. I also like that "bedtime" is now dark instead of being sunny and bright. I love the different colored leaves that show up this time of year. Yesterday I was pointing out to Cameron the different colored leaves on the trees, and today he did the same for me. I love the crispness that the air has. I love the fact that kids are doing productive things instead of rambling around the neighborhood being destructive (although there are the token pumpkin smashers...) I love that this is the time of year that the crops are being harvested and seeing the FRESH produce in the stores. Getting some fresh fruit or vegetables from a neighbor's garden is just up there with my TOP favorite things of the season. The whole season just makes me a happier me.

Halloween

I love seeing little kids getting excited for a holiday, and Halloween is one holiday that is all about the kids. (I know that's not how it used to be....but that's how it's evolved!) Costumes, candy, and the glow of a jack-o-lantern are some of the views of the season. Sure, the sugar rush AFTER is not fun, but that night is one of those memories I love to pull out on dull days.

No More Reruns

I love that I can watch my favorite television shows and not have to say, "Oh, we've already watched this one...remember?" I love the shows that come out, and the new episodes of my old favorites! It's just a fun time to be a couch potato!

Conference

I LOVED watching General Conference this weekend. I love knowing that every October I'll be able to hear from the leadership of the Church. All I can say about me trying to watch it this last weekend is: DISTRACTED. I won't get too whiny about it, but let's just say that I don't like watching other people's kids while I'm trying to worship! UGH!

Daylight Savings Ends

Who doesn't love an EXTRA hour of sleep? (Or for those who are motivated...an extra hour in the day!) It makes the days a little easier to deal with, and I love the extra hour that we get. I read somewhere that thanks to that extra hour, October is the longest month of the year...and I just can't get enough of it!

I'm just so glad that it's October again...but I just want to know: Where did the rest of the year go?