I Just KNEW There Had To Be a Reason We Don't Live in Austrailia...

Jake was sitting on my lap (like he likes to do) and was being silly. Then I asked him, "Do you know what we should have for lunch?"
(At this point, I'd expected him to say a sandwich or noodles....)

"Yes," he said.

"Really? What?"

He hesitated for a second and then he exclaimed, "KANGAROO!"

Uh, erm....

"Silly boy, I didn't get any of that..."

"You're the kangaroo..." Then he proceeded to "eat" me.

Mommy Has a Potty Mouth

I have a confession: I never swore until I had children.

I remember accidentally saying "damn" when I was younger and I felt SO embarrassed and horrible that I promised myself I would never say a bad word again...

That worked, until I had children. And when I say "children" I do mean MORE than one. I didn't swear until I had TWO kids.

Now I'm a big bad swearing machine. I say words I don't want to say and feel horribly guilty after I say them.

Today I was chewing the boys out for making a mess of the living room and leaving their toys strewn across the floor. I said a particularly poopy word about 5 times. After the fifth time and my guilt growing each time, I said out loud, "I need to STOP saying that word!"

The boys just looked at me with questioning eyes....

Then I randomly said, "DOG POOPY!"

Both boys cracked up. They couldn't STOP laughing. Pretty soon they were chanting, "Dog poopy!" Followed by uncontrollable laughter.

I told my boys that if I say that potty word again, they had my permission to say "dog poopy" and stop me in my tracks.

Sweet Peas Saying Sweet Prayers

The other day my boys and I were going to go to hang out with some friends. We were all really excited about going and didn't want to miss this for anything. We headed out to the suburban and buckled up. We were ready to leave, but the suburban wasn't. It wouldn't turn on. (Now, let me preface this a bit....We're buying my parents' old suburban. It's been having issues with the starter for about a year....if you hold onto the key too long after the engine has turned over, it dies. The trick is that you have to let go of the key as SOON as it starts up. So far, we've not had many problems.) The engine wouldn't even sputter. I was worried that this was the end of the suburban until we could afford to replace the starter. I was sad. My boys were in the back seat complaining loudly.

I had a thought, 'Let's say a prayer.'

So I told the boys we were going to pray. Both boys folded their little arms, squeezed their eyes shut, and listened as I prayed for our car to work so that we would be able to go to our fun activities and continue through the week.

I worked with the vehicle for a while (probably 5 minutes) and it FINALLY started! As we pulled out on our way, I told the boys, "Guys, we need to remember to tell Heavenly Father thank you."

In that instant Cameron called out, very loudly, "THANK YOU, HEAVENLY FATHER!!!"

I giggled at that, and we were off.

Then yesterday we were doing some more running around, and we'd parked the suburban in the same spot. It was just me and Jake this time. We were preparing to leave, and the car immediately turned over and Jake called out, very loudly, "THANK YOU FOR STARTING OUR CAR, HEAVENLY FATHER!!!!!"

I think now we'll work on thanking Heavenly Father IN our prayers. ;)

Ninja in Training

Jake's been having bedtime issues lately. He'll come downstairs after being sent to bed, and will complain, "Mama, I had a bad dream." He doesn't believe me that you can only have nightmares once you're sleeping, but that's beside the point.

Tonight he was extra grumpy and got sent to bed early. He was none too pleased with missing family prayer, so he came down and complained, "We need to pray!"

Yes, but you were naughty, go back to bed...

He came down several times, thankfully, daddy was here and took him back when he'd come down. (When mommy's alone, I just let him fall asleep on the couch, I have no staying power late at night...I just give up!)

Tonight after a while we heard nothing. I thought we'd won the bedtime battle. I was happy, and didn't think another thing of it....

....until Steve, after being frightened came to me, and motioned me to the stairs.

There he was....sleeping at the bottom of the stairs.

He sat silent at the bottom of the stairs for QUITE a while before he'd fallen asleep. He's mastered the art of sitting silently and sneakily.....

I think I might be in for it.

One More Mommy Confession

Yesterday, while the boys were obnoxious and bouncing off the walls, I got super frustrated. The thing of it is that they like to bang on the walls that we share with neighbors. I don't mind so much when it's just them banging on our inner walls, but the shared walls makes me crazy because I'm so afraid the neighbors are going to think we're rotten neighbors.

I could hear them banging on the shared wall and I said, "You know boys, you need to be more polite. You shouldn't bang on the wall we share with the neighbors, because they might call the cops. And if they do, I might be tempted to let the police take you both away...."

Silence for a minute...

Cameron called back, "Maybe Grandma would want us."

Teach ME for Trying to be a Good Mommy....

So my last post was all about tattling on Steve and his mistakes. (Believe me, the only reason I posted it was because the man RARELY does stuff like this anymore....he just has had a bad couple of days....) Now it's time to tattle on myself....

Today I took Jake with me to the store. I've been watching Sonic's commercials for their hot dogs....and they look REALLY good. So I figured I'd make my own hot dogs for lunch, but I needed to get some decent hot dogs (I'm a weenie snob....I only eat Falls Brand Beef Wieners.) and some buns. I also decided to buy some chili blocks, and the only store that I KNEW had what I wanted was across town. I took my chances and went across town to get the stuff.

When we were checking out, Jake happened to see the soda display. I was in a good mood and decided to let him choose a soda. I have been craving a Dr. Pepper, so I opted for caffeine, knowing I'd probably fall asleep anyway, then I let Jake pick his own. He grabbed a new soda by Sunkist. In this part of the country, we rarely have caffeine in our Sunkist sodas. I figured he was safe.

Once we got home I made our lunch and poured Jake's soda into a cup. I refilled his cup 3 times. I ended up giving him about 1/2 of a 16 ounce bottle.

After lunch, I planned on making the boy take a nap, because he stayed up WAY late last night and woke up WAY early today. He was in DESPERATE need of sleep. I turned on his cartoons, and held him on my lap. (This is how I usually get him to snooze....it's also tradition for me to fall asleep sitting up and holding the child, possibly snoring in his ear. It's soothing, I swear!)

Two hours later, he was just wiggly and NOT ready to nap.

Finally, I thought, "Wait, doesn't SOME of Sunkist's drinks have caffeine?" I went to check the bottle. Sure enough, the fourth ingredient was caffeine. I wanted to hit myself in the head. Are you KIDDING!? I'd given my already hyper child ENERGY juice!?

(At this point, I WAS impressed that the boy sat still for me for 2 hours, but still....) So I let him run around....this only made the energy grow and grow and grow.

I will NOT be doing this again, I can assure you....

Heck, there's a special spot on the label that SAYS it has caffeine!

See, I COULD have saved myself SO much frustration, but I was only trying to be a good mommy.....

A Fork?? REALLY!?

Today started out as another fabulous Sunday. After church I came home and quickly put dinner together. It took me a half hour of cooking and rearranging, but I got things ready. Cameron was a HUGE help by washing off the table and setting it. While I was trying to get my gravy to boil, Cam asked, "Mom, big forks or little ones?"

Now something random you should know about me....I don't CARE what size fork I eat with. Truly, I don't. In fact, I almost PREFER a smaller fork over the huge one.

But in the end, I left the choice up to Cameron. I said, "I don't care...." Truly meaning that I did NOT care one way or the other.

When we sat down to eat, Steve traded forks with Cam. Steve, apparently a different creature from me, DOES care. He was just about to start eating when Cam whined, "What happened to my big fork!?"

At that point, Steve tossed the big fork back to Cameron, and then took back the smaller fork.

(Seriously, this whole thing just BAFFLES my mind....) Here I have a 10 year old fighting with his 33 year old father.

I think I said something to the fact that it REALLY didn't matter, did it? Why fight with a 10 year old over something SO stupid? Steve got all huffy and angry and suddenly got up and went upstairs.

Both boys watched their dad throw his tantrum and then asked me, "Mom, what's wrong with daddy?"

"Daddy's throwing a tantrum, he'll be back later...don't worry about him."

(I am NOT making this up....this is REALLY what happened....)

I'm still trying to figure out WHY this whole thing happened. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that Cameron and his daddy don't get along very well....but really, a FORK!? Next time, if you REALLY need that big fork and I have one, please, PLEASE take mine...I honestly DON'T care!

Gotta Clean

Jacob is one motivated little boy. Today while I was on the computer (only for 20 minutes, that's not long, is it?) Jake managed to get into something quite important.

I turned around to talk to the little boy and noticed the wet wipes were emptied from the package and laying all over the floor and entertainment center. When I asked Jake what he was doing he said, "I gotta clean!" Then he proceeded to "clean" the TV and the mirror.

I can't get mad at the boy, because he's got a good point, the house DOES need cleaned, but I just think there's a better choice than wet wipes.

***************************************************

On a side-note, I've been reading a REALLY good book that has me looking at motherhood a little differently (probably why I didn't freak out when Jake emptied the wipes....) It's called For Every Mother: Celebrating all ages and stages of motherhood. The author is wonderful. She's the mother of 10 children, so she DEFINITELY is an expert in motherhood. This book is filled with short excerpts, stories and poems that will make you think a little differently about being a mom. I know that I'm trying harder to enjoy those moments I used to dread with my own boys.

If you're struggling with being a mom, finding that you are upset and feeling overwhelmed most of the time, check out this book....it's truly wonderful.

Built Upon the Rock

Jake's new favorite thing to do is sing "The Wise man and the Foolish Man." Today he insisted he needed an actual rock to sing his song....this is his result. (Forgive my sad video quality....)

He's so proud of himself too.

The Funny Things Jake Says

His new favorite saying is, "Mom! Cameron's annoying!!" Um, where EVER did you learn THAT word little boy? *whistles innocently*

Funny enough, he says it at appropriate times. He MUST know what it means.

His other funny saying is "Mom, you a BIG boy!" When I tell him yes, mommy's big, but I'm a girl, he gets indignant, "NO, mom, you a BOY!"

Okay, so I'm a boy, and Cam's annoying.

It's Not Funny.....It's Not Funny....It's Not Funny...It's NOT Funny....

Lately, I've been a VERY lazy mama. I have been completely exhausted in the mornings, and tend to sleep the morning away while Jake has free-reign on the house. Usually he's pretty good about sticking to the living room (where I'm asleep on the couch) or playing in his room. It's been a good set-up.

Today, Steve had the day off, and I went upstairs to sleep with him in the bed. We invited Jake to join us and even turned on his cartoons. This didn't sit well with my 2-year old.

After an hour of sleeping-bliss, Jake came to me and handed me my cinnamon jar, almost empty. I awoke pretty quickly and began wondering what awaited me downstairs.

Standing at the top of the stairs I saw some of the carnage....cinnamon spilled all over the bottom 5 stairs and the stair-wall. I began to laugh and asked Jake what happened.....

Then as I got further down the stairs I heard Jake whining that his eye hurt. He was playing on the couch like he normally does, and noticed that this wasn't just cinnamon....he'd found the pepper shaker and poured it ALL over the house, the couches and chairs were covered, it was IN my DVDs, on the Wii board, EVERYWHERE. And now, apparently, Jake was rubbing it into his eyes.

This is the cinnamon, it's on a tile picture and a black sock.

I wanted to cry...If Steve hadn't been there, I'm sure I would have cried. He laughed and took pictures. (I told him if he took a picture of me I'd REALLY hurt him, good boy that he is, he didn't get any of me....) I didn't want Jake to get any more pepper in his eyes, so I told Steve to take him upstairs and clean him up. Jake thought he was in a bunch of trouble and began reacting the way Cameron would have. He cried and said, "No no no no no no....." Steve said that I should have been nicer to him, but I just wanted him to stop playing in the pepper....I wasn't worried about his feelings right then.

It was a mess. I discovered that he'd started in the kitchen and worked his way upstairs. I guess his bed is filled with pepper and cinnamon as well.

The empty pepper bottle sits in the kitchen sink (I had refilled this bottle last week). The quarter-filled cinnamon jar is on the table.....and the little boy is blissfully unaware that his mom was THIS close to a nervous break-down.

Stinky

I've been sick all week, and it's NOT fun. Today my sore throat, which hasn't been good anyway, got worse. I woke up to it feeling sticky and then less than an hour later it felt like the muscle in the roof of my mouth went floppy. I really don't like this, but I'm dealing with it, because the alternative isn't for me.

Thankfully the boys haven't had ANY of what I have. I wonder if this is a flu, and I got it because I didn't get the vaccination, but all my guys did.

Either way, I'm out of commission for a little while longer (boo) and trying to survive. My coping method when I'm sick is to sleep it away. Jake just won't let me snore...it interferes with his TV shows. *eye roll*

And you may be happy to know that Jake informed me that he's feeling better. Better than good? Wow, at least someone's doing well!

Doesn't Everyone Have This?

I went with my mom and Jake to Grandma-Miriam's funeral. I was enjoying the talks and music, but Jake was antsy....and who could blame the little wiggly 2 year old?

I took him out twice. The first time for a diaper change, the second, because he was rolling UNDER the pews kicking the bottoms and annoying the people around him. The second time I took him to a little corner of the church where I made him run. I had him running from one door to the next, making him run to me and under the bench that was THERE...

Pretty soon, I was singing "Ring Around The Rosies." He LOVES this song. At home, he'll sing part of it at the top of his lungs falling down. He'll sing, "Ashes, we all fall down," then lift up his legs and land squarely on his bum. I know if I tried that I would re-break my tail bone.

The first time he fell down, he landed REALLY hard. He rubbed his little back-side and said, "Mom, I cracked my bum!"

Do you think I should tell him that EVERYONE'S bum is cracked?? ;)

More Kid Funnies

My family reunion is starting up. I'm SO excited. I absolutely LOVE hanging out with my cousins and their kids...it's just so fun.

Anyway, last night we had our "pre-family reunion activity." We hung a sheet in my grandpa's backyard, and watched a movie. It really was fun, but a little rough on kids who are early to bed, early to rise...

My cousin's son, Jakeb, has adopted me and Steve. He's super cute, and very much a little 3 year old boy. Last night he kept pointing to me and telling his mom, "I like her!" (How could I pass this little guy by?) So when he begged to sit on my lap, I had to let him....just had to, I was wrapped around his chubby little fingers.

While we were watching the movie, he began rubbing my boob. Then he announced, "You have BOOBS!"

"Yes, I do..."

(Giggling on the inside...)

And one more....I can't resist these funny kids that I live around.

I walked Cameron to his therapy yesterday, which means the boys had to walk too. Cam didn't have a bit of a problem, he's a good kid. Jake, however, isn't used to the long walks. He kept standing in front of me saying, "Cay-ye me! Cay-ye me!" (In case you don't speak toddler, that's "carry me.")

I told him that he was a big boy, and look, Cameron is walking...you can walk too. He agreed, and would walk along, until he got tired again.

Eventually we made it to the building, and we dropped him off. Cameron's getting to that age where mom telling him that she loves him and will miss him is SOOOOOOO embarrassing, so he usually takes off pretty quickly.

After we'd been abandoned, I took Jake out the door, and began our short walk home. He looked around for a bit, and began to crumble, literally, on the sidewalk. "CAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMEROOOOOOONNN!N!!!!"

I lifted him, not wanting him to hurt himself, and said, "He's at therapy, we need to go home. Don't worry, we'll come back for him..." Jake's wails were picking up speed.

Then I got an idea.

"Jake, do you want to go home and watch a movie?"

"NO!"

"You mean, you don't want any popcorn?"

"Co-corn??" There were no complaints for the rest of the walk home, in fact, he was almost dragging ME home.

"I Stung"

While we were waiting for my cousin's wedding to start on Saturday, a rather large bee (or hornet, I'm not quite sure what it was) was flying around my mom. I pointed it out, and immediately Cameron began freaking out. We told him that as long as he was calm and ignored the bee that he would be fine. He slowly watched it circle around us, as it was looking for a place to land.

Eventually, it landed on Jake's cheek, right below his eye. I watched in slow-motion, as Jake reached up and grabbed the bee. He quickly (still in slow-motion though) pulled his hand back and stuck his fingers in his mouth. He'd been stung.

He didn't cry, he didn't fuss, he just held out his finger for my inspection. I saw that the WHOLE stinger had been left behind, and I quickly pulled it out. His finger went right back to his mouth where he quietly sucked on it.

I picked him up and just for the briefest second, he looked like he was about to cry, but he changed his mind.

He didn't even talk about it, until this morning.

He was drawing scribbles on his magnadoodle, and pointed out the things he was "drawing." On one such "drawing," he said, "Mom, I stung." Then he pointed to the picture. There was no crying about it, just the simple statement, "Mom, I stung."

How did I end up with SUCH a tough kid?

Do You Want a Good Giggle??

In the last week, I've heard a few things that have made me giggle uncontrollably.

One day, when I was getting Jake into Steve's car to go somewhere, Jake grabbed Steve's cowboy hat, and put it on his head. He looked at me and said, "Mom, I a cowboy! MOO!!!"

I asked him if that's what cowboys said, and he assured me that it was.

Then the other day I was watching one of my favorite movies, Hocus Pocus. There's one point where the witches in the movie unearth a dead boyfriend. This zombie chases around the heroic kids, and they knock his head off. My younger brother (who I swear has young Alzheimer's, or has just fried one too many brain cells) began commenting to my mom and I about zombies.

He said, "If that was a REAL zombie, it would be dead. Because you kill zombies by taking their heads off."

My mom and I were speechless. We looked at one another and busted up laughing. I said, "Shad, you DO know zombies aren't real, right?"

Then he took off talking about zombies and the best ways to kill them.

He's Getting it....

Tonight, my dad was talking on the phone with his step-mother. We call her Grandma Sue, to differentiate between her and other grandma's. While my dad was talking, Jake asked me, "Mom, 'pampa talk to?"
I told him that it was Grandma Sue and he said ,"Oh, G'ama Sue? And 'Pampa Sue?"

At least he makes the connection! It's just cute.

It reminds me of when Cameron was starting to understand that he had different grandparents. My one set of grandparents we called, "Grandma and Grandpa Frei (pronounced like "free"). One day Cam asked, "Mom, when are we going to see grandma's Four and Five?"

Oh, the silly things our kids say....

Smart Boy

Sometimes I think that Jake is too smart for his own good.

Like the other day, we were eating breakfast for dinner. Jake was just picking at his dinner (like he normally does) and I tried to encourage him to eat more. I said, "Jake, eat your breakfast!"

The little kid looked at his plate, then he looked around and asked, "Where's breakfast!?"

Out of sight, out of mind? Nope, just a smartie who knows deniablity is his best option.

By the way....if anyone has any helpful hints on getting a rebellious 2 year old to eat dinner WHEN it's dinner time and not snacking later on, I am up for hints. The kid thinks that he can just pick at his food, throw the plate, food, fork, and cup when he's "finished" and then eat whatever he wants after the fact. I'm SO done with that, and had to enforce "if-you-don't-eat-your-dinner-at-dinner-time-then-treats-are-NOT-an-option-for-you."

He also knows when I tell him something.

He was bouncing a basketball off of the neighbor's wall. It was bothering ME, so I figured it might bother the neighbor. I told him to stop. He laughed at me and continued doing it. I then said, "Jacob! IF you don't stop bouncing the ball it will go bye-bye." He tried again and he lost the ball.

I'm fairly certain that first thing in the morning he'll walk to where I put the ball and ask for it.

He knows that Cameron has scouts, and asks when "Jacob have scouts?"

Tonight during the flag ceremony at pack meeting at the request for "hand salute," my sweet Jake put his hand up above his eye. (It was more of him pointing to his eyebrow than a salute, but it was still SUPER cute!)

Happy Videos, for a Happy Birthday Boy

Today's one of my brother's birthdays. I don't have money to get him something cool, so I'm sharing some funny videos that I KNOW will make him laugh. Happy birthday! :)

Even During a Melt-Down, He STAYS In the Box

"Mommy, picture!!"