I saw something today. I know NOW that I should have done something about it, but at the time I was just so shocked that I did NOTHING.
I was walking across the street to get in my van to pick up Steve from work. As Cam and I were leaving our apartment, the neighbor boy stormed out of his apartment across the street. I watched in horror as he opened a car door, pulled out a little girl (a few years younger than him) and proceeded to kick and beat her badly!
The whole thing lasted probably 10 seconds, but it seemed like forever as I watched what he was doing. I guess I didn't do anything because I thought the girl's mom was in the car with her, but she wasn't...it was another little girl. In shock I watched him walk away, his fists clenched, as the other little girl climbed out of the car, helped up the other girl, and they ran back to their apartment.
I walked over to them and asked if they were okay, the one answered that they were fine, but I was still thinking about it the whole drive to my husband's work.
I walked over to them and asked if they were okay, the one answered that they were fine, but I was still thinking about it the whole drive to my husband's work.
When Steve came out to the car I told him what had happened and he asked if I called the police. I asked if there was anything they could do about it (the boy is 13) and he said it would be the right thing to do. So I asked him to dial the number for me and I told the dispatcher what I had seen. She got the details and asked my name. I gave it to her, but asked that I remain anonymous (fearing retribution from that kid on my own son.) She assured me it would be anonymous, and asked if the officers could call me if needed. Since I'm not at my house, they would have to call my cell phone, so I told her my number and waited for the calls.
The dispatcher sent over an officer to check on the girl, and that officer called me a couple of times...the last time to tell me that the families would work it out on their own.
Now, what would you have done?
Now, what would you have done?
I'm kicking myself right now with what I didn't do! I should have put a stop to what he was doing when I saw it happening. I guess my fears won out. That boy scares me! He's bipolar and is currently taking new meds...which are NOT working properly! This isn't the FIRST time he's beat up a neighbor child...from what I've heard HIS mother filed a restraining order against THAT child...what's wrong with that picture? I just worry about what he'll do to my child! Now I'm even MORE paranoid about my neighborhood...I just keep repeating the phrase: "I love my neighbors....I love my neighbors....I love my neighbors..."
12 comments:
If it's a parent abusing their child, sometimes alerting authorities gets the child into even more trouble instead of less. Of course, sometimes reporting things saves the child. It's a decision to make.
If it's another child (someone under 18, I guess) who's starting down the path of abusing others, I'd kick that kid so far into discipline and therapy so that the mere thought of hurting someone else sends him into convulsions.
I've been on the receiving end of physical abuse from parents and schoolmates, and people who hurt others just to make themselves feel in control make me really really angry. One should do everything (within reason) one can do to stop the cycle of abuse.
How scary!! I don't know what I would have done either, especially having your child with you at the time. I think you did the responsible thing by calling the authorities. I think I would be more than a little paranoid too living there! Yikes!! How did Cameron take it all?
Cameron was worried about people going to jail. He thought the girls who were being abused were the ones going. I had to explain that no one was going to jail, but it's NEVER EVER right to hurt someone...no matter what! I hope he's learned that lesson!
Wow! What a scary situation. I don't know what I would have done if I saw that happen... probably the same thing you did, and for the same reason (fearing retribution against my own children). At least you called the police and reported it. I hope that it is, indeed, something that the families can "work out" on their own, ya know, without anyone getting hurt again.
I'm and interceder...sometimes a stupid one (once I put out a fire while holding my one year old daughter, talk about dumb!) So I would have said something really enlightening like "Hey! What the heck do you think you are doing????"
But I'm glad you called the police to report it. If all the good people are so afraid of the bad ones who do you think wins? And it gives me some hope that the abuser was a child himself, hopefully he can get some intervention in his life too. So he doesn't turn into a monster.
You did OK and you know, it's not the end of the world that you now know just how closely you need to watch your kid in the environment you are in. Most people don't know until its too late. HUGS
Hi Dawnyel. I'm new to blogging, but I came across your story and it really touched me.
I'm the same as you. When something bad is happening, I kind of just freeze and don't know what to do. Afterwards, I always wish I'd done more. Once I saw a boyfriend hurting his girlfriend and did nothing because I was scared.
You did a good thing by going up to the girls, then later calling the police. Don't feel bad. You did great! :)
So scary. I hope I would have yelled "Hey, knock it off!" Sometimes just knowing someone is watching is enough to deter someone.
Once I stopped a neighborhood kid fight. I yelled a lot, the fight broke up, then one kid ran at the other one again and I got in between them. It helped that they were around 10 or 11 years old.
But last week on my way to Walmart I saw a man and a woman walking down the street. He was definately being too rough and she was pulling away from him, but he was too strong. I didn't pull over or do anything. I feel wierd about it still.
How scary - I hate stuff like this.
I would've yelled "HEY!" and then armed myself with a shovel, rake, garden hose, whatever, and threatened the kid away from the little girl. Then they would've come and found me because the boy's mom would've called the authorities about a crazy lady threatening her son with a garden tool.
I actually would have been in too much shock to do much - but hopefully I would yell or something if I saw something I could partially control.
I would have hollered something-- but I'm very out spoken and loud anyhow... I think calling the police was a good thing- it's documented- and maybe, we can hope, something will be done-- even if it's just more awareness on the parents behalf. Don't be too hard on yourself. :)
That is so scary. You did the right thing. Being that it was a kid, I wouldn't have been so reserved initially. If it was an adult man, I would have just called 911 and kept my distance. I hope something is done about that kid... for the whole neighborhood's sake.
You know that old saying... you can't know what you'll do in a certain situation until you walk a mile in someone elses' smelly shoes...or something like that. I'm sure I mangled the saying.
I like to think I would have yelled something. But like Melissa... I'm loud and outspoken. But I would have been afraid of retribution against my kids too. They are so young.
I worked as a welfare caseworker once upon a time and have had to pick up some of the women in my caseload and take them to a shelter to hide because of domestic violence issues. I have had to deal with the verbal abuse from the boyfriend/husband as I race the women into my car and speed away (with a police escort...I'm not insane!!) It's a tough situation when you are actually face to face with the violence. Please don't beat yourself up. You did the right thing by calling. In first aid, the first thing they teach you with primary survey is to make sure the environment is safe for you to enter before you administer aid. If something happens to you, or in this case Cameron, you would be incapable of offering help, now and in the future.
I'm glad you called the police. Now this is documented. If spaz boy decides to use another child as a punching bag again, it will be a one way ticket to juvenile hall.
I'm a 911 person. I would have called it right then, and stayed with the child until they arrived-- and then reported that this was not the first time and I was afraid of retribution against my child. (I've been in similar stituations before, so I know I'm a 911 caller.) It's really scary when things like that happen. I think your response was a good one.
If I were the parent of the little girl, though, I'd be pressing charges for assault. The other child needs help, period. If that's the only way he's going to get it, that's what I'd do.
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