Dream Night at the Zoo

On Friday night we went to our local zoo for "Dream Night." A night dedicated to special needs kids and their families. It was completely free and COMPLETELY fun! They had people all around the zoo with things for the kids to feel and see (pelts, skeletons, feathers...) then they handed out free water bottles, animal crackers, tattoos, ice cream, stuffed animals for the kids....

I was so happy that our community provided this service.

Cameron was thrilled that he could see his friends and the zoo at the same time.

Jake loved the painting, animals and playing the drums.

Steve was happy to spend time with our family and not be working.

It really was a great night. We topped the zoo by going to the drive in and seeing Kung Fu Panda 2 (good, very kid-friendly...) and Thor (good parent movie, and VERY good!) It was a happy night, one that we said celebrated the start of summer break. :)

I Really SHOULD Make my Blog a Priority....

I have a lot to say most days, but I forget it when I get on the computer and I play my time away. *hee hee*

Anyway, a few weeks ago the boys got hair cuts. Cam got a cool mo-hawk because the school had crazy hair day (not allowing hair paint, so what ELSE could we do with a little boy's hair??)

He LOVED it and Jake kept asking for the same thing....even though his hair was too short. Maybe this summer sometime we'll have matchy-matchy boys.

Cam tried to teach Jake the "cool" finger thing so he could look like Cam, but he couldn't figure out why we were making him put up his fingers, so we gave up.

*hee hee*

Pure Bliss

I just returned from a fantastical weekend away with my boys and my family camping. (Sadly, Steve couldn't come, even had to work on his birthday.) Usually we go north for our camping, but this year I suggested a different location, and we've discovered that we LOVE this newer place.

I had worried about the weather. I'm still a tent-camper at heart, so I worried about the high speed winds we'd been experiencing at home. I decided that if all else failed, I would sleep with my boys in the suburban.

Late Friday evening we found our spot and it was LOVELY. There was little to NO wind. I was ecstatic.

Saturday was even MORE beautiful than I'd expected. We had camped by a few snowbanks, but we weren't too worried. My boys went fishing with Grandpa and I was free for a few hours....I totally napped, guilt-free!! It was THE best. Then, the boys came back, boasting of their fishing adventures. (They caught garbage fish, so both fish were killed and not allowed back at camp, but Jake would tell proudly of how his grandpa "boke" the fish and there was lots of "b'ood!") Everyone was toasted...love sunburns, right?

That night the rain clouds came in. It rained a lot on Sunday, but we were with my parents and their "40-foot-Hilton on wheels." We watched movies and just sat in the warmth of the motor home.

Then this morning it was rainy again, and we knew we needed to pack up. I have yet to find the motivation to lay out the wet things to dry, but I will soon...I have to!

It was truly a beautiful weekend and one that I know my boys will treasure for years to come. I absolutely LOVE camping on Memorial Day weekend!

Who Are You?

My friend shared this video with me today....I'm literally in TEARS!!!

Sending all of you my love, and God's!

Where's The Love?

Lately I've been feeling like the internet is a huge waste of time. I've had some pretty fun places I liked to visit in the past, but lately I've felt like things have fallen too much into the negative. I have contemplated leaving the internet behind and living without it, but it IS a necessary evil. Bill paying has NEVER been better than before the internet.

Today I was talking about the bad feelings I've felt with my hubby, and he shared a pretty cool quote with me. I'd like to share it here, and vow to try and be MORE like my Heavenly Father.

“But while one portion of the human race is judging and condemning the other half, the Great Parent of the universe looks upon the whole of the human family with a Fatherly care and Paternal regard."

~Joseph Smith TPJS, pg 218

Ninja in Training

Jake's been having bedtime issues lately. He'll come downstairs after being sent to bed, and will complain, "Mama, I had a bad dream." He doesn't believe me that you can only have nightmares once you're sleeping, but that's beside the point.

Tonight he was extra grumpy and got sent to bed early. He was none too pleased with missing family prayer, so he came down and complained, "We need to pray!"

Yes, but you were naughty, go back to bed...

He came down several times, thankfully, daddy was here and took him back when he'd come down. (When mommy's alone, I just let him fall asleep on the couch, I have no staying power late at night...I just give up!)

Tonight after a while we heard nothing. I thought we'd won the bedtime battle. I was happy, and didn't think another thing of it....

....until Steve, after being frightened came to me, and motioned me to the stairs.

There he was....sleeping at the bottom of the stairs.

He sat silent at the bottom of the stairs for QUITE a while before he'd fallen asleep. He's mastered the art of sitting silently and sneakily.....

I think I might be in for it.

Monster to Mush

Mornings around here are NOT pretty. Usually one of us is grumpy, the other is defiant, and the other is so full of energy that the rest of us grumble. Yeah, we pretty much play the same three roles over and over every day.

I'm the grump....mornings have NEVER been my cup of tea. I've always been a night owl.

Cameron is the defiant one. I have to beg and plead and yell to get him to do ANYTHING! Usually it ends up with us fighting....that's never pretty.

Then there's Jake. Happy-go-lucky, Jake. He's pretty happy in the mornings just as long as he's got something to drink, something to eat, something to play with and something on TV to watch. He's not hard to please, but he's pretty demanding about it, every single day.

This morning Cam was especially grumpy. Jake was kind enough to wake his big brother up by banging on the wall. Nice, right? So Cameron started out yelling at Jake....NOT a good way to start the day.

Then when he came out of the bathroom, he informed Jake that he was going to take the toy Jake was playing with for show and tell. I told Cameron that he was not allowed to just take toys away from his brother just because he wanted. This caused a mini-tantrum.

When he came down, he was still being ornery about the whole toy situation, and instead of getting his shoes and socks on, he looked through the toy box to find a toy to take for show and tell. This is NOT cool with me. I don't care if he takes a toy, but he should at least have his other priorities in order. I told him to stop looking for a toy and get his socks and shoes on....this is when the fighting began. He threw a toy at Jacob (which caused mommy to see red) and then he sat on his favorite chair, folded his arms and said, "I DON'T WANT TO!"

Something you should know about me....I do NOT like to lose a fight, especially to a defiant child. I know it's something I should learn to let go, but I would like for him to obey his parents....just weird that way, I guess.

After much yelling and screaming, I lost it. I didn't beat him to death (although I was very tempted...) but I shook him and yelled....a lot. So I finally got ahold of my thoughts and sent Cameron to time-out before I REALLY lost it and hurt him, then I sat down and tried SO hard to calm myself down. It's hard to do that when you hear, "I HATE you, MOMMY!! I hate YOU too, Jake!!!! I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!"

Finally, after 10 minutes of calming and cooling, we both were fine. Cameron was punished by not being able to take ANYTHING for show and tell. He was okay with it, in fact, he told me that he loved me.

He turned from this horrid monster into my child, my pile of mush.

What happened?? Let me tell you, it's a little thing called a pill. I don't know why he can't be kind without it, but it seems he just can't.

I'm very glad that we have this modern medicine, but I'm ready for a continuous drip. I want my child back.

5 Reasons I Love Being a Mommy

(I stole this idea from my friend, Deanna. Thanks for the idea!)

Random Loves

My boys will randomly come up to me, give me a nice hug and say, "Mom, I love you!" It's especially humbling when I'm in the midst of one of my many mommy-rants and they stop me in my tracks with their love. And I absolutely know they love me when they sweetly squeeze me in their little bear-hugs. So sweet.

Singing Primary Songs at the Top of Our Lungs

We're still pretty old-school when it comes to music. In the suburban I will play CDs that the boys love. I have to love them too, but that's besides the point. One of our favorites is Voice Male. They have a funny little version of "Popcorn Popping" that just makes my boys burst into laughter. When I begin the CD, Jake KNOWS it's his favorite and he instantly BEGS to hear "Cah-corn! Mama, Cah-corn!!" Once he says it correctly he's rewarded with the song. Then we'll all sing the song....yes, all of us.

Dinnertime

My boys are pretty picky. Dinner can be a huge success or a HUGE bust. Tonight I made a giant chef salad. (Lettuce, cucumbers, green peppers, celery, carrots, tomatoes, ham, turkey....) Both boys gobbled up their salads and BOTH complimented me on my choice of meals. (Cameron said, "Mmmm...Mom, this is SO good!" Jake said, "Why'd you chose this?" *giggle*) Seeing them eat up healthy food and LOVE it, nothing better....

Quiet Times

Those are few, and far between, but when I can sit down with Jake on my lap, Cameron cuddled on "his" chair watching random cartoons (today it was Rocky and Bullwinkle.....) the quietness surrounds us and I feel peace and unending love. I know that my boys are busy, but they can also appreciate the quiet times.

Helpers

Both of my boys LOVE to help me. They will almost fight over who gets to clean the kitchen table, fortunately there are enough washcloths and water to go around for everyone. It makes my heart swell to hear a little voice say, "Mama, can I help?"

Please don't take this list to say that my boys are perfect little angels, believe me, they're not. BUT there are those choice moments that make me stop and appreciate being a mom...the hardest, best job I've ever had.

A Lot to Say, No Particular Story to Share

Lately I've been in kind of a funk. I'm not all that happy with my hubby (I've been pretty grumpy, poor guy...) I've been a bear to my boys....it's not cool.

I think I need to make some new goals that will help me out. I need to go to bed at a decent hour (said the crazy lady at 2:30 in the morning...) I need to eat healthy foods. I need to exercise. I need to clean my house.

I'm just in a funk. Don't mind me.

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I also don't have a lot to say about Osama's death. I am glad that we found him, but I don't know that his death is helpful. (I know, I may be opening a can of worms by saying this.) I'm sure he's got other trained members of his group ready to step up and take his place. I think we're not finished, and things won't be better any quicker.

I believe that Osama Bin Ladin will be judged by God, given the correct and just consequenses, but I would LOVE to see that exchange.

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I'm on a Glee kick right now.

Steve and I found the first season on Netfilx, and we watched the whole thing in a week. We loved it and fell in love with the music. I've been listening nightly to the music and just singing, rocking-out, and enjoying it.

I wish the second season was available....I can't quite just jump into the middle of it without knowing what has happened before. *sigh* I will wait, but I won't like it.

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My boys have been pretty cute lately. I pulled out the camera for some reason last week and both posed for a picture. It was pretty funny.

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I've got two new night stands that match my pretty bed. LOVE them. We're trading them for our out-of-commission van. I think it's worth it!

Monster Children See Monster Trucks

A few weeks ago Steve took our boys to a Monster Truck rally. The boys were VERY excited. Anytime they saw a commercial for the rally they'd dance around clapping their hands, "WE GET TO GO SEE THAT!!"

Thankfully, since my hubby is a SAINT, I was able to stay home and did NOT have to participate. (He gets me, he really does...)

The boys had a BLAST! Although, I heard that Jake wanted mom after the first few minutes. Eventually, he got into the mood and was yelling and having fun with everyone else.

It ended up going pretty late, and the boys were SO tired when they got home at one in the morning, but they're already begging to go again next year.

Cameron, my sweet boy, keeps saying, "Mom, I close my eyes, and all I see are monster trucks!"

We know what will make the boys' year next time around....

The BESTEST Birthday Present Ever....

My bed is all done....all prettified and MINE! I'm SO in love with it. Thanks to my brothers (who are SUPER talented in the woodworking department) and my dad for providing the lumber, and to my hubby, for the bestest ruined surprise I could ever hope for!

Wanna See What I Get For My Birthday??

Steve has been pretty secretive about my birthday present this year. Unfortunately for him, I'm observant.

He commissioned my younger brothers to make me a bed....headboard, sideboards, footboard....but they all refused to let me see it.

Well, since today is my birthday and I won't be able to GET it today (still needs to get a finishing coat on it...) I begged to go and see it.

It. Is. BEAUTIFUL!! It's hickory and walnut. It's SO SO SO pretty. I'm perma-grin just thinking about it.

Final Lumpy Update: All is Well

Yes, I'm completely FINE!!

I went in for the ultrasound this morning, and almost had to have a mammogram, but since you can SEE the lump on the skin, they opted to wait until after the ultrasound if it was necessary.

They checked it, then went to consult with the doctor. I laid on the bed all by myself for 10 minutes. My mind kept thinking, "Maybe they've FOUND something. Maybe I was a little too confident in my in-grown hair scar theory.....I'm totally gonna lose my boob!"

Thankfully, the doctor came in, checked for himself, and decided that it's probably a lymph node. It's about an inch deep and comma shaped. If it gets any bigger or causes pain, I'm to go in, but for now: CLEAN BILL OF HEALTH!

Breathing never felt SO good!

Lumpy Update

I saw a physician's assistant today. She was VERY nice and wonderful about everything. She did an exam and found my little lump, after she examined it a bit, she decided that it looked and felt like it was an ingrown hair that had scared up. She said to be sure it was what she thought, she'd order an ultrasound, since I'm not experiencing any pain with it, and the other option is to cut into it.

The hospital will be calling me soon to set up an appointment for the ultrasound, and until that ultrasound clears me, I will still be hesitant to breathe freely, but my mind is at ease.

Thank you so much for your love and prayers, they were felt.

Lumpy

This weekend, after having a wonderful experience at a Women's Conference that built me up, I had a humbling moment. I found a small lump on my breast.

I have been a mess all weekend. I tried to hold it in at church, but broke down during a few of the hymns and my husband's solo. During those songs I was feeling the love of the Lord and my Savior. I know they love me and they are watching over me.

My little lump could be anything, but I'm going to a doctor tomorrow to have it checked out. If you could spare a few prayers for me and my small family, I would truly appreciate it.

No matter what, I AM going to go on. I AM going to be okay. I am NOT going to let a little lump get me down.

Echo?

Seriously, I'm talking to myself, I know it, but come ON!! :(

I'm going off somewhere to pout.

Phone Woes

Yesterday I jumped onto our computer to do a few things and found that the internet wasn't working. I didn't really think too much of it, and played a game until Steve woke up. Once he was awake I told him that the internet was off, and I didn't know what was wrong.

He played around with it for a while and eventually figured out that it was more than just a messed up modem.....our whole phone system was off. The phones weren't working. (No WONDER it had been such a quiet, peaceful morning...) He asked me if I'd paid our bill, I told him I did, so I didn't know what was wrong.

I hurried over to my mom's house to use HER phone to call the phone company. After 15 minutes I was told that they were going to send out a technician to fix the problem....TOMORROW.

How in the world was I going to live without the internet for a full day? This was going to be torture!

My mom let me borrow her cell phone, just in case I needed it for anything, and then I hurried home to tell Steve what was going on before he had to go to work.

That night, I played with my boys. We made cupcakes (making a MESS) and then we watched TV. After they were in bed, I played my computer game for HOURS. Once Steve came home after midnight, I even went to the store. I have to admit, driving around town at 2:30 in the morning is SO fun and relaxing....there is NO ONE you have to worry about. I went to Walmart and bought the new Harry Potter movie, drove around a little bit and then came home.

This morning I waited for the repairman to come. Finally around 10:00 there was a knock at the door. I hurried to answer it, and found it was a repairWOMAN. She was very kind and said that the problem was coming from INSIDE our apartment. She quickly checked all the phone jacks that we have in use....clearing them almost instantly. After taking her upstairs to my bedroom, she asked if there were ANY other jacks, I said I didn't think so, then she asked if there was a jack in the boys' bedroom. Funny she should mention that, there IS one, but we don't use it....

Unless you happen to be 2 and 3/4 years old, full of mischief and in possession of a tinker-toy. Jake had taken his orange tinker-toy stick and STUCK it in the jack. I was SO embarrassed.

Thankfully the lady was understanding and said it happens all the time.

Now we're back. (YAY!) But I'm seriously contemplating banishing tinker-toys from my house.

One More Mommy Confession

Yesterday, while the boys were obnoxious and bouncing off the walls, I got super frustrated. The thing of it is that they like to bang on the walls that we share with neighbors. I don't mind so much when it's just them banging on our inner walls, but the shared walls makes me crazy because I'm so afraid the neighbors are going to think we're rotten neighbors.

I could hear them banging on the shared wall and I said, "You know boys, you need to be more polite. You shouldn't bang on the wall we share with the neighbors, because they might call the cops. And if they do, I might be tempted to let the police take you both away...."

Silence for a minute...

Cameron called back, "Maybe Grandma would want us."

Teach ME for Trying to be a Good Mommy....

So my last post was all about tattling on Steve and his mistakes. (Believe me, the only reason I posted it was because the man RARELY does stuff like this anymore....he just has had a bad couple of days....) Now it's time to tattle on myself....

Today I took Jake with me to the store. I've been watching Sonic's commercials for their hot dogs....and they look REALLY good. So I figured I'd make my own hot dogs for lunch, but I needed to get some decent hot dogs (I'm a weenie snob....I only eat Falls Brand Beef Wieners.) and some buns. I also decided to buy some chili blocks, and the only store that I KNEW had what I wanted was across town. I took my chances and went across town to get the stuff.

When we were checking out, Jake happened to see the soda display. I was in a good mood and decided to let him choose a soda. I have been craving a Dr. Pepper, so I opted for caffeine, knowing I'd probably fall asleep anyway, then I let Jake pick his own. He grabbed a new soda by Sunkist. In this part of the country, we rarely have caffeine in our Sunkist sodas. I figured he was safe.

Once we got home I made our lunch and poured Jake's soda into a cup. I refilled his cup 3 times. I ended up giving him about 1/2 of a 16 ounce bottle.

After lunch, I planned on making the boy take a nap, because he stayed up WAY late last night and woke up WAY early today. He was in DESPERATE need of sleep. I turned on his cartoons, and held him on my lap. (This is how I usually get him to snooze....it's also tradition for me to fall asleep sitting up and holding the child, possibly snoring in his ear. It's soothing, I swear!)

Two hours later, he was just wiggly and NOT ready to nap.

Finally, I thought, "Wait, doesn't SOME of Sunkist's drinks have caffeine?" I went to check the bottle. Sure enough, the fourth ingredient was caffeine. I wanted to hit myself in the head. Are you KIDDING!? I'd given my already hyper child ENERGY juice!?

(At this point, I WAS impressed that the boy sat still for me for 2 hours, but still....) So I let him run around....this only made the energy grow and grow and grow.

I will NOT be doing this again, I can assure you....

Heck, there's a special spot on the label that SAYS it has caffeine!

See, I COULD have saved myself SO much frustration, but I was only trying to be a good mommy.....

A Fork?? REALLY!?

Today started out as another fabulous Sunday. After church I came home and quickly put dinner together. It took me a half hour of cooking and rearranging, but I got things ready. Cameron was a HUGE help by washing off the table and setting it. While I was trying to get my gravy to boil, Cam asked, "Mom, big forks or little ones?"

Now something random you should know about me....I don't CARE what size fork I eat with. Truly, I don't. In fact, I almost PREFER a smaller fork over the huge one.

But in the end, I left the choice up to Cameron. I said, "I don't care...." Truly meaning that I did NOT care one way or the other.

When we sat down to eat, Steve traded forks with Cam. Steve, apparently a different creature from me, DOES care. He was just about to start eating when Cam whined, "What happened to my big fork!?"

At that point, Steve tossed the big fork back to Cameron, and then took back the smaller fork.

(Seriously, this whole thing just BAFFLES my mind....) Here I have a 10 year old fighting with his 33 year old father.

I think I said something to the fact that it REALLY didn't matter, did it? Why fight with a 10 year old over something SO stupid? Steve got all huffy and angry and suddenly got up and went upstairs.

Both boys watched their dad throw his tantrum and then asked me, "Mom, what's wrong with daddy?"

"Daddy's throwing a tantrum, he'll be back later...don't worry about him."

(I am NOT making this up....this is REALLY what happened....)

I'm still trying to figure out WHY this whole thing happened. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that Cameron and his daddy don't get along very well....but really, a FORK!? Next time, if you REALLY need that big fork and I have one, please, PLEASE take mine...I honestly DON'T care!

Gotta Clean

Jacob is one motivated little boy. Today while I was on the computer (only for 20 minutes, that's not long, is it?) Jake managed to get into something quite important.

I turned around to talk to the little boy and noticed the wet wipes were emptied from the package and laying all over the floor and entertainment center. When I asked Jake what he was doing he said, "I gotta clean!" Then he proceeded to "clean" the TV and the mirror.

I can't get mad at the boy, because he's got a good point, the house DOES need cleaned, but I just think there's a better choice than wet wipes.

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On a side-note, I've been reading a REALLY good book that has me looking at motherhood a little differently (probably why I didn't freak out when Jake emptied the wipes....) It's called For Every Mother: Celebrating all ages and stages of motherhood. The author is wonderful. She's the mother of 10 children, so she DEFINITELY is an expert in motherhood. This book is filled with short excerpts, stories and poems that will make you think a little differently about being a mom. I know that I'm trying harder to enjoy those moments I used to dread with my own boys.

If you're struggling with being a mom, finding that you are upset and feeling overwhelmed most of the time, check out this book....it's truly wonderful.

Going to General Conference

I've never been to see Conference live, but I've always wanted to. I was able to go to a Young Women's broadcast, but that's not QUITE the same. So when our bishop announced that he had tickets for Conference, Steve, without even asking me, got some tickets for us. Jake is too young to go, so it was just Steve, Cameron and I.

We dropped Jake off with my parents early Saturday morning, and off we went. The drive was VERY pleasant and drama free.

We arrived in Salt Lake City JUST as the first session of Conference got finished. We went downtown and ate lunch at Subway. We watched throngs of people walking down the street. It was quite the sight. People after people....it was awesome.

We finished our lunch, and decided that the sooner we parked and got to the Conference Center, the better.

Parking was almost a nightmare, but because we had a pass, we were safe. We quickly found a spot, parked and off we went for our long walk.

Once we got to Temple Square the people were OVERWHELMING! I'd forgotten that people use General Conference time to protest our church. One man was holding a sign, I never really read, but he began yelling, "You cannot enter heaven unless you are born again! HAVE YOU BEEN BORN AGAIN, YOU MORMONS!? Jesus saves, but you must believe in him!" He went on and on....I wanted to laugh at him, I mean, the NAME of our church is "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints." His name is RIGHT there!

We went to the door our ticket said to enter through, and were told by many helpers that we just needed to find a door, the door with the shortest line....

We went through the metal detectors, had my purse searched and went to find our seats. Cool enough, our section is on the second level almost STRAIGHT across from the rostrum.

I kept telling Cameron that when the Prophet came in, we'd stand in reverence and wait for him to sit, and to remember the feeling he felt when the Prophet came in. We sat excitedly for a while, talked with a few members of our own ward who'd gotten tickets as well....then there was silence as people stood. If you've never experienced being in the place where a prophet of the Lord is, it is truly special. The Spirit is SO strong.

Once he was seated, we all sat and waited for the Conference to start.

I will say this, if you're prone to fall asleep watching Conference at home, it's NO different in the Conference Center. I found myself nodding off. I didn't want to do that, so I doodled. I ended up doodling a whole page of curly-cues.

The messages were wonderful (like always) and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

At the end, I felt like we should just go straight home instead of following our plans, but then I brushed off my thought and didn't say a word. Little did I know, Steve had the same "thought...." What we NOW know was truly an impression from the Spirit we should have heeded.

When it was over, we visited some friends who'd moved to Layton, and stayed to play while Steve went to Priesthood session with our friend. By the time they got back, it was late, and we HAD to leave. It was raining buckets, but we were okay. Once we got to the Idaho boarder though, it was snowing, HUGE, FLUFFY snowflakes. With the lights reflecting off of the snow it looked like we were driving through space. You know how warp speed looks on movies and television?? Yeah, we were going warp speed....except it was only like 40 mph. We had to stop at a rest area to get our bearings, because the normal night-time tunnel-vision was 100 times worse with snow. We said a prayer, and slowly made our way home. We followed some sweet person most of the way through the snow and eventually made our own way once the snow dissipated. What's normally a 3 hour drive took us over 4 hours. But we made it home by midnight.

It was a great day, and one I wouldn't mind doing again, MINUS the snowstorm.

35 Gifts to Give your Children that They’ll Never Forget

I must admit, I did NOT come up with this list. I am borrowing the advice from a friend. It's a great reminder that the best things kids need are US.

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1. Affirmation. Sometimes one simple word of affirmation can change an entire life. So make sure your children know how much you appreciate them. And then, remind them every chance you get.

2. Art. With the advent of the Internet, everyone who wants to create… can. The world just needs more people who want to…

3. Challenge. Encourage your child to dream big dreams. In turn, they will accomplish more than they thought possible… and probably even more than you thought possible.

4. Compassion/Justice. Life isn’t fair. It never will be – there are just too many variables. But when a wrong has been committed or a playing field can be leveled, I want my child to be active in helping to level it.

5. Contentment. The need for more is contagious. Therefore, one of the greatest gifts you can give your children is an appreciation for being content with what they have… but not with who they are.

6. Curiosity. Teach your children to ask questions about who, what, where, how, why, and why not. “Stop asking so many questions” are words that should never leave a parents’ mouth.

7. Determination. One of the greatest determining factors in one’s success is the size of their will. How can you help grow your child’s today?

8. Discipline. Children need to learn everything from the ground-up including appropriate behaviors, how to get along with others, how to get results, and how to achieve their dreams. Discipline should not be avoided or withheld. Instead, it should be consistent and positive. (See Parenting with Positive Guidance by Amanda Morgan).

9. Encouragement. Words are powerful. They can create or they can destroy. The simple words that you choose to speak today can offer encouragement and positive thoughts to another child. Or your words can send them further into despair. So choose them carefully.

10. Faithfulness to your Spouse. Faithfulness in marriage includes more than just our bodies. It also includes our eyes, mind, heart, and soul. Guard your sexuality daily and devote it entirely to your spouse. Your children will absolutely take notice.

11. Finding Beauty. Help your children find beauty in everything they see… and in everyone they meet.

12. Generosity. Teach your children to be generous with your stuff so that they will become generous with theirs.

13. Honesty/Integrity. Children who learn the value and importance of honesty at a young age have a far greater opportunity to become honest adults. And honest adults who deal truthfully with others tend to feel better about themselves, enjoy their lives more, and sleep better at night.

14. Hope. Hope is knowing and believing that things will get better and improve. It creates strength, endurance, and resolve. And in the desperately difficult times of life, it calls us to press onward.

15. Hugs and Kisses. I once heard the story of a man who told his 7-year old son that he had grown too old for kisses. I tear up every time I think of it. Know that your children are never too old to receive physical affirmation of your love for them.

16. Imagination. If we’ve learned anything over the past 20 years, it’s that life is changing faster and faster with every passing day. The world tomorrow looks nothing like the world today. And the people with imagination are the ones not just living it, they are creating it.

17. Intentionality. I believe strongly in intentional living and intentional parenting. Slow down, consider who you are, where you are going, and how to get there. And do the same for each of your children.

18. Your Lap. It’s the best place in the entire world for a book, story, or conversation. And it’s been right in front of you the whole time.

19. Lifelong Learning. A passion for learning is different from just studying to earn a grade or please teachers. It begins in the home. So read, ask questions, analyze, and expose. In other words, learn to love learning yourself.

20. Love. …but the greatest of these is love.

21. Meals Together. Meals provide unparalleled opportunity for relationship, the likes of which can not be found anywhere else. So much so, that a family that does not eat together does not grow together.

22. Nature. Children who learn to appreciate the world around them take care of the world around them. As a parent, I am frequently asking my kids to keep their rooms inside the house neat, clean, and orderly. Shouldn’t we also be teaching them to keep their world outside neat, clean, and orderly?

23. Opportunity. Kids need opportunities to experience new things so they can find out what they enjoy and what they are good at. And contrary to popular belief, this doesn’t have to require much money.

24. Optimism. Pessimists don’t change the world. Optimists do.

25. Peace. On a worldwide scale, you may think this is out of our hands. But in relation to the people around you, this is completely within your hands… and that’s a darn good place to start.

26. Pride. Celebrate the little things in life. After all, it is the little accomplishments in life that become the big accomplishments.

27. Room to Make mistakes. Kids are kids. That’s what makes them so much fun… and so desperately in need of your patience. Give them room to experiment, explore, and make mistakes.

28. Self-Esteem. People who learn to value themselves are more likely to have self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-worth. As a result, they are more likely to become adults who respect their values and stick to them… even when no one else is.

29. Sense of Humor. Laugh with your children everyday… for your sake and theirs.

30. Spirituality. Faith elevates our view of the universe, our world, and our lives. We would be wise to instill into our kids that they are more than just flesh and blood taking up space. They are also made of mind, heart, soul, and will. And decisions in their life should be based on more than just what everyone else with flesh and blood is doing.

31. Stability. A stable home becomes the foundation on which children build the rest of their lives. They need to know their place in the family, who they can trust, and who is going to be there for them. Don’t keep changing those things.

32. Time. The gift of time is the one gift you can never get back or take back. So think carefully about who (or what) is getting yours.

33. Undivided Attention. Maybe this imagery will be helpful: Disconnect to Connect.

34. Uniqueness. What makes us different is what makes us special. Uniqueness should not be hidden. It should be proudly displayed for all the world to see, appreciate, and enjoy.

35. A Welcoming Home. To know that you can always come home is among the sweetest and most life-giving assurances in all the world. Is your home breathing life into your child?

Update on My Path to Forgiving

It's been a little over a week since I decided that I needed to move on and work on forgiving my step-grandma. I've prayed like crazy, gotten FANTASTIC advice, and had lots of time to think. In the last week I've come SO far...in fact, on Sunday I actually SPOKE with her...for the first time since the night we argued. It went well, I survived and we spoke kindly and without bringing up the ugliness. After it was over I didn't even feel anger toward her. It was gone.

I still feel like I'm not COMPLETELY there, but I have come SO far and I believe I'm nearly there.

One of the things that truly helped me on the road to forgiveness was this quote: "Forgiveness is giving up the hope that you can change the past."

I've realized that I can't change what happened, but I can resolve my feelings about it and move on.....and it has helped me SO much.

Can You Keep a Secret?

It's the middle of the night (I know you wouldn't know this unless I confessed, so I did.) I am all by myself in my living room. The television is off (if only my kids saw it that way....they'd freak out.) I'm sitting on the computer looking up as many songs as I can by a few of my favorite artists.....

Seriously, can you keep a secret??

Promise??

Cross your heart? Hope to die, stick a needle in your eye?

I really mean it.....

I'm head-banging and fist-pumping to Pink, Katy Perry, and a few other rockers. I watched a few videos from Pink and wish she was my best friend....

I think I'm secretly a rocker-chick. Oh, whatever would Steve think if he saw me now?

Built Upon the Rock

Jake's new favorite thing to do is sing "The Wise man and the Foolish Man." Today he insisted he needed an actual rock to sing his song....this is his result. (Forgive my sad video quality....)

He's so proud of himself too.

Collecting Black-Mail for the Future...

Are we EVIL parents, or what? ;)

Ever Have One of Those Sundays??

Do you ever have one of those Sundays where EVERYTHING you hear at church seems directed at you? Every prayer, every talk, every lesson seems applicable to YOUR life? This was my Sunday.

Sacrament Meeting went well. Lately I've tried to make a conscious effort to concentrate on the Savior during the passing of the sacrament, and today, it just totally slipped my mind. When the deacons were returning the water trays, I remember thinking to myself, "Wait! I forgot! Can I have a do-over?"

Once the speakers started, I DID get my do-over. The first speaker talked about being Christ's hands and responding quickly to promptings. He talked about how we say our prayers praying for someone to help us and they come and DO help us, why can't we be the answer to someone else's prayer?

Then our choir sang one of my favorite songs, "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing." I sang with the choir, and before going up I warned my boys to be good....Jake followed us up onto the stand and then stood at the front and peeked over the edge. Nice, my son is the ward's entertainment.

The second talk was about forgiveness. I come from a long line of grudge holders, and have perfected this trait myself. In fact, I've been struggling lately, but I haven't really mentioned it here, but I will now, because I need some help and perspective to get past it.

About a month ago, on one of our many Family Home Evenings, I had a blow up with my step-grandma. She is constantly telling me what to do, and treating me like a little kid. She's not very nice about it, and acts like she's my mom and I'm an incapable child. Well, that night, she tried to tell me something (at the same time that my own mother was telling me the SAME thing) and I got frustrated. I've held in my true feelings for years. And unfortunately, I blew up. I yelled and screamed and basically acted like a baby. I told her that I was an adult, and that I did NOT need her to tell me what to do. I can take care of my own family and she didn't need to get in the middle of it.

Now, the message is one that she might need to hear (since she is a butt-insky and is always trying to micromanage everyone around her....) but my presentation was HORRIBLE! I felt terrible. I wanted to apologize to her for yelling, but not for my message. So after consulting with some friends, I decided to email her my apology, but tell her that I will not put up with her treatment of me anymore. I meant what I said, but that I felt bad about yelling and acting like a little kid.

That was the single most SCARIEST moment of my life. I did NOT want to hurt her feelings, but I felt like I needed to stand up for myself and let her know where I stood. A week went by...she had not responded. I felt like things were going to be okay, and she was just going to let this blow over. I was relieved that we were "okay."

Unfortunately that is NOT how it ended. By the end of the week she had sent me a very nasty email saying that I was a horrible mother and wife and that she needed to tell me what to do because I was so incapable of doing it on my own.

I was hurt and angry. (Truth be told, I'm STILL hurt and angry.)

I have not seen NOR spoken to her since then.....it's very odd, and I have guilt that she is keeping herself from the rest of my family because of me.

When I heard the forgiveness talk today I KNEW that it was Heavenly Father's way of telling me that it is time to forgive her and move on. I just don't know how....it's so hard to forgive someone who refuses to forgive me (yes, in the email she told me that she will NEVER forgive me....) and someone who treats me and my family so badly. (I've been thinking over and over at how she treats my sweet Cameron....and it brings Mama Bear out EVERY time.) Someone told me that I need to let go and stop stewing over her, especially when I haven't seen her or talked to her in such a long time. That it is Satan trying to get me into his nets.

I admit that I should, but I am SO good at holding grudges. I mean, I'm amazing at holding grudges.

All through his talk I felt the Spirit tell me, "You need to forgive her. Forgiveness will make you feel so much better and you know it."

I know I do, and so in the middle of that talk, I said a small prayer that I will be able to find a way to forgive her.

Sunday School was great as well. The teacher spoke of parables and how we need to change ourselves to be receptive to truths. (Hello, I must need to do a lot of changing, because forgiveness is one of my weaknesses....)

Relief Society was probably the place where I was touched the most. I will tell you, I love my ward. LOVE them. And I've been trying to sit in different parts of the room to get to know every body and to switch things up. I sat by one of my favorite people and settled in to enjoy the lesson. Our opening song was "As Sisters in Zion." Again, a hymn that I love and that means SO much to me. I didn't have a book, so I felt the power of the words coming through my heart. It was very special.

Then the lesson was about Charity. This is something I wish I had a better grasp of. Charity is something I wish that I had for everyone, but I've been learning that I am very judgmental and I don't love everyone the same way Christ does. I've been trying to change. It's started a while ago with my younger brother, who has made so many wrong choices. One day I commented that something he loves is for "weird people" and he chastened me by saying "no, it's for people who are judged...." I have been quick to judge first and not to love as quickly. I've tried to change this about myself, and can truly feel stronger love for my brother.

During the lesson today I realized, "Charity is the answer to your forgiveness.... You need to learn to love your step-grandma the way that Christ does. Not only do you need to find Charity in your heart for her, but you need to share this love with your husband and children. They are the ones who are most deserving of your love and understanding. Treat them ALL better and you will be happier."

I spent the remainder of the lesson in tears and being chastened by the Spirit. (The teacher didn't make the lesson out to be one where you feel bad, in fact, she did an amazing job! I just took the truths she was teaching and applied them to my situations.) The closing hymn in Relief Society was the Mormon Tabernacle Choir's version of "I'm Trying to Be Like Jesus." As I think back to that song, I'm tearing up. It was beautiful and so true....we need to" love one another as Jesus loves [us]. Try to show kindness in all that [we] do. Be gentle and loving in deed and in thought, for these are the things Jesus taught." It shouldn't be so hard, it should be simple and easy to follow in his footsteps.

I've tried applying these lessons into dealing with my children, and while I have fallen a few times (yes, I've failed a few times in the last few hours since church...) things are going SO well. My boys aren't going to turn to me immediately, but I believe that if I love them with the "pure love of Christ" then things will be better and I will be happier.

The best part of the day came after the closing prayer. My favorite lady, that I sat by, leaned over and said to me (while the tears were pouring down my cheeks...) "I want you to know, that whenever people mention 'Dawnyel,' I hear nothing but good things. You are so sweet and we all just love having you here." Could there not be a better way to end the day?

So many lessons learned in such a short amount of time. It's been a fantastic Sunday.

Getting Ridiculous...

For quite a while now I've found myself falling asleep in any comfortable spot. I can be on my couch, at my parents' house, sitting quietly at the computer....it doesn't matter. I will fall instantly asleep. My boys are quite used to it, and Jake has learned to entertain himself rather well...despite his new coloring fetish. He will play with toys or find something to eat.

Today we had a "friend" over. (You should know, any child that is Jake's age or interacts with him is his friend...he has a lot of friends.) This friend was a little boy I've never really met before, but seemed sweet enough. He was fairly mellow, and Jake and he got along VERY well.

Part way through the play date, I turned on my sleeping nemesis: SpongeBob. It doesn't matter HOW many times I've seen the episode, SpongeBob WILL put me to sleep. Soon enough, I was snoozing, and the little boy came over to me and asked, "Hey, are you sleeping??" I quickly answered that I was, and he should go and play with the trucks or watch SpongeBob.

I just cannot help myself. I need help...this is getting ridiculous.

Ten Minutes of Chaos

Today was a fairly uneventful day....except for little 10 minute block. It was right after I turned off my computer this morning. As I turned around to talk to Jake, he began choking on a jelly bean. He had it stuck pretty tight....so he came running to me, gasping with tears running down his face the whole time. I grabbed him and did the Heimlich Maneuver a few times until he was breathing (bawling) and okay. He was pretty scared, but only stayed on my lap for 30 seconds before he was off and running again.

A little bit later, I told him NOT to eat anything but I had to go switch over the laundry. Our laundry is in our basement, and there's a locking door between the two floors. Usually I keep the door open and I don't worry too much about it. I hurried down and switched the clothes over and talking to Jake, who was at the top of the stairs by the door. Soon the door slammed. Once I'd gotten my laundry gathered I was at the top of the stairs I couldn't open the door.

He'd locked it.

I wasn't dressed...I was in my pajamas, bare-footed, and my front door was locked anyway....I banged on the door and yelled for Jake to open the door. He couldn't, because he didn't know how to unlock the door. Finally, after a minute of coaching, he opened it.

ALL this happened within the same 10 minute time frame. I don't think I can get away with ANYTHING anymore. He's too smart for his own good.

Crayon, Crayon EVERYWHERE!!

Jake loves to color. That's fine, until he colors OFF the page.

His latest artwork includes:

The back of our desk chair....green on beige, BEAUTIFUL!

The screen of our BRAND new TV.

His white socks (blue this time.)

Our red-neck mirrors in the living room.

The wall at the bottom of the stairs, yellow and red.

The computer screen.

The lid to his toy box in his bedroom.

And finally, his hands.

I promise, I am NOT encouraging this, I do remind him that we only color on paper, but this Van Gogh has different ideas....

The Funny Things Jake Says

His new favorite saying is, "Mom! Cameron's annoying!!" Um, where EVER did you learn THAT word little boy? *whistles innocently*

Funny enough, he says it at appropriate times. He MUST know what it means.

His other funny saying is "Mom, you a BIG boy!" When I tell him yes, mommy's big, but I'm a girl, he gets indignant, "NO, mom, you a BOY!"

Okay, so I'm a boy, and Cam's annoying.

Spiritually Fed

This morning I went with some women from my ward to a regional women's conference in Rexburg. We left fairly early, and waited for an hour before it started.

The guest speaker was Sister Julie B. Beck, the general Relief Society president. This is a HUGE deal. The only other time we really hear from the general Relief Society president is during conference or the general women's broadcast which precedes General Conference.

She started by talking about what a great time she's had and how she was a little nervous. Then she said that she would take questions from the audience and answer them. The Spirit was SO strong. She asked that the questions be able to help others and not be too terribly specific. The first question was great: How do we gain our own personal testimony of the Relief Society?

Her answer was to know who we are, that we're not below the priesthood, but that the Relief Society works hand in hand in Heavenly Father's plan. Women, along with men, are equal halves of a divine pair. Women have our roles, and men have theirs. We can't delegate to the other, we must do our own work.

Then she told us the mission of Relief Society: Increase our faith and righteousness, strengthen our homes and families, and seek others to help.

She said that the most revelation we'll receive will be when we get on our knees and ask.

Questions ranged from wayward children, to wayward friends, how we can strengthen our own spirits and endure, what we can do to prepare to serve a mission, how we can find balance in all aspects of our lives, how often to attend the temple, how to accept others and not use spite, how to better teach, how to guard against pornography, and how to prepare this world for Christ. It was one where we heard stories, searched the scriptures and encouraged one another.

A few of my favorite sayings that she said mostly had to do with parenting and being a good friend and sister.

"Don't ever assume that the person you are talking to doesn't need something too." (In other words, everyone is struggling with something, why not try to help out where we can.)

"Be a light, melt the spite."

"We want our Spiritual children to be kind and obedient. This is not what we were given. Our children are the Lord's toughest and strongest Spirits and they NEED strong teachers and leaders."

"We all have excuses about Visiting Teaching, but we need to get over them. The Lord doesn't care, he wants us to get to work."

Over all, a great GREAT meeting. I love it when my spiritual reservoirs are filled.

Inspiration

My boys have been at one another all day long. Why do we HAVE to celebrate dead presidents anyway??

I've been slowly going a bit crazy. I walked past their hole of a bedroom and about lost it, then I thought, "Let's make this a game...."

I came into the living room and said, "Okay guys, I need you to do something for me...as FAST as you can....go upstairs and throw ALL the toys into the toy box...on your mark, get set.....GO!" Both boys were off. Within a few minutes they came back wanting more....

Work doesn't have to be hard...it can be fun too. :)

Spoiled Much??

Our tax refund this year has been a HUGE blessing. We've spent probably more than we should have, but BOY are we having fun!

We upgraded our computer. The last one had Vista on it, and Vista was sucking up most of the memory. Our dedicated computer man told us to not put any more money into that machine. He told us he'd build us a decent machine that would knock the socks off our current model, so we planned to buy a new computer from him with our refund.

The day the refund came, Steve was SO ready to go and get that new machine. I told him it wasn't MY priority, but he wanted to go anyway. The guys set us up with a new machine that had so many gizmos and do-dads that we were excited to get it. They even installed a card reader (how did I EVER live without one before now?) and an extra Ethernet hook-up. (Do you like my computer jargon? Yeah, I'm so knowledgeable....*guffaw*)

We had a few problems with it, but those fantastic computer dudes fixed us up VERY quickly and without too many complaints. (The last trip in, I asked if they were tired of seeing us...)

Part of the reason we got the new Ethernet extension was so we could finally hook up our Wii to the Internet. Steve got so frustrated trying to make it work. He finally gave up and contacted our Internet provider and got a wireless router. (I had no idea he'd done this until it showed up today....)

We are now playing old-school games on our Wii, watching a free trial of Netflix (no longer old-school with movies) and having a good old time.

The boys are in heaven, but I have to remind them that these things aren't required in life, they're extras....

....now that I've blogged, I'm off to play more Bomberman!!

Love Is In the Air

We had a very nice Valentine's Day this year.

I've tried to continue the tradition that my mom had of giving to my children as well as my sweetheart. She always gave us something small and I loved it. This year we gave our boys a small heart filled with chocolate and bubbles and bouncy balls. When Cam saw it he said, "That's it?" Gee, have I not taught my child to be grateful?? So I told him that he needed to be grateful for anything he gets and that if he didn't like that, then he could have nothing. He stopped complaining after that.

Steve sent me a beautiful bouquet of lilies and carnations that he designed himself. I think they're gorgeous. Then my visiting teacher came by with a heart-shaped pizza from Papa Murphy's. So Jake and I ate pizza for lunch, it was great.

I sent Steve a huge balloon bouquet, and Jake thought they were for him. It was quite cute.

And after we had finished, I got a message that I'd won a cool Valentine's gift basket from a friend. How cool is THAT!?

Over all it was a wonderful day, filled with lots of love and happiness. I need days like that EVERY week.

It's Not Funny.....It's Not Funny....It's Not Funny...It's NOT Funny....

Lately, I've been a VERY lazy mama. I have been completely exhausted in the mornings, and tend to sleep the morning away while Jake has free-reign on the house. Usually he's pretty good about sticking to the living room (where I'm asleep on the couch) or playing in his room. It's been a good set-up.

Today, Steve had the day off, and I went upstairs to sleep with him in the bed. We invited Jake to join us and even turned on his cartoons. This didn't sit well with my 2-year old.

After an hour of sleeping-bliss, Jake came to me and handed me my cinnamon jar, almost empty. I awoke pretty quickly and began wondering what awaited me downstairs.

Standing at the top of the stairs I saw some of the carnage....cinnamon spilled all over the bottom 5 stairs and the stair-wall. I began to laugh and asked Jake what happened.....

Then as I got further down the stairs I heard Jake whining that his eye hurt. He was playing on the couch like he normally does, and noticed that this wasn't just cinnamon....he'd found the pepper shaker and poured it ALL over the house, the couches and chairs were covered, it was IN my DVDs, on the Wii board, EVERYWHERE. And now, apparently, Jake was rubbing it into his eyes.

This is the cinnamon, it's on a tile picture and a black sock.

I wanted to cry...If Steve hadn't been there, I'm sure I would have cried. He laughed and took pictures. (I told him if he took a picture of me I'd REALLY hurt him, good boy that he is, he didn't get any of me....) I didn't want Jake to get any more pepper in his eyes, so I told Steve to take him upstairs and clean him up. Jake thought he was in a bunch of trouble and began reacting the way Cameron would have. He cried and said, "No no no no no no....." Steve said that I should have been nicer to him, but I just wanted him to stop playing in the pepper....I wasn't worried about his feelings right then.

It was a mess. I discovered that he'd started in the kitchen and worked his way upstairs. I guess his bed is filled with pepper and cinnamon as well.

The empty pepper bottle sits in the kitchen sink (I had refilled this bottle last week). The quarter-filled cinnamon jar is on the table.....and the little boy is blissfully unaware that his mom was THIS close to a nervous break-down.

Fun Family Home Evening Ideas

Tonight we had a fantastic Relief Society meeting with ideas for Family Home Evenings. It was so fun and FULL of wonderful ideas. I want to remember, so I'm going to share a few.

• Repentance: Have the family sit in a circle around a big bowl. Make sure they're sitting on a hard, easy to clean floor. Tell them the rules of this game are that they can pick what they want out of the bowl, if they want, but they cannot look up or they're out. Slowly drop pieces of candy into the bowl above the family. Start throwing more and more until it's a frenzy, then drop an uncooked egg. Once everyone is covered with egg, talk about how we can think we're doing something that's innocent, but can turn bad. Then wash the egg off and talk about how we can be clean again after we repent.
• Write family histories...especially good to have OUR parents write theirs. Include pictures.
• Use the Gospel Art Picture Book or Kit and tell stories from the pictures. Kids can do this really well.
• Make Family Home Evening fun and not a time for lectures. One of my favorite stories of the night, the mom was frustrated with the family leaving food, garbage, clothes all over the house, so she hid chocolate balls in one daughter's sock drawer, popcorn in another daughter's closet. That night she exaggerated making a mess finding the candy and popcorn....throwing the socks in a comical manner, then in the 3rd daughter's room, she said how warm she was and took her sweatshirt, socks and boots off, throwing them all over the room. After the rooms were sufficiently messed up. The mom asked, "When you're at school, do you drop stuff on the floor and expect your teacher to pick it up?" "Do you leave your garbage all over the lunchroom table?" "Why do you treat our house this way?" It was a good respect lesson, and not a lecture.
• Memorize the Proclamation to the World.
• Write your own Family Proclamation with goals you have as a family.
• Involve children in sharing and teaching the lesson. (This is where I struggle, personally...) It doesn't matter what they teach, as long as they feel excitement for the lesson and a sense of responsibility.

There was SO much more, but this was the few things that I truly appreciated.