I Just KNEW There Had To Be a Reason We Don't Live in Austrailia...

Jake was sitting on my lap (like he likes to do) and was being silly. Then I asked him, "Do you know what we should have for lunch?"
(At this point, I'd expected him to say a sandwich or noodles....)

"Yes," he said.

"Really? What?"

He hesitated for a second and then he exclaimed, "KANGAROO!"

Uh, erm....

"Silly boy, I didn't get any of that..."

"You're the kangaroo..." Then he proceeded to "eat" me.

Choo Choo.....Joining the Potty Train...

Jacob is 3 and 4 (almost 5) months old. He understands when he's messy. He usually hides when he poops....all signs he's old enough to go to the bathroom on the toilet, right??

I've been asking the boy for MONTHS if he wants to potty on the toilet and the answer has always been, "No, thanks." (Yes, he's polite...) Finally, after Cameron went back to school and it was just the two of us at home, I'd had enough and I started FORCING the issue.

I would like to report (happily) that for the last 5 days Jake has had VERY few accidents. In fact, out of the last 5 days he's only had 3 accidents, and they were in the last 24 hours. On top of this, he's been sick. On his sick day last week, I offered a pull-up instead of his underpants and he began crying hysterically. His words were SO cute, "No, MOM!! I wanna be a BIG boy!!!" I allowed him to be a big boy and sure enough, he was dry all day long!

Potty training is one of the things I absolutely HATE about being a mom, but right now, it's not as bad as I'd remembered. :)

Jake, In Real Life

I've been thinking about how different my two boys are. Cameron is a sweet boy (unless he's with his brother...) and is extremely shy. He is just now learning how to read. He is somewhat hard to understand if you haven't been around him (he slurs his words together, for example, "Family home evening" would be "famihomevening" coming out of his mouth). He loves basketball, and will do ANYTHING to play. He is always seeking out verbal approval from those around him.

Jake is very verbal himself. He can say things that Cameron can't. He is very inquisitive, and when he's super tired and doesn't want to sleep, he'll ask questions that he KNOWS will be answered. He makes up stories and has an incredible imagination. He is an all-around jock. He loves playing baseball, soccer, football, basketball....anything he can. He's even asked grandma if he can dig holes in her front yard so he can play golf. He is constantly busy and can just run circles for hours when he has nothing better to do.

Jake is SUCH the story teller. A few months ago, we went to a movie for family home evening. My parents took the boys (because the boys begged, and my parents are suckers for those little kids). On the way to the theater they passed a police car. Jake started his tale: "My daddy got pulled over by a police officer. He was speeding and got a ticket...." My parents asked us if that was true, and of course, it wasn't. But Jake can be very convincing.

Cameron loves to have very short hair. He complains loudly if it gets too long (he pulls it out on his own if I don't buzz it for him, so usually when he complains, I buzz both boys' hair.) Jake wants "long" hair. We've got school pictures coming up this Friday, and I want Jake to look nice, so I kept offering to trim around his ears. I kept promising him that I wouldn't buzz his hair off, but he kept turning me down. Finally, yesterday, I grabbed the scissors while he was in the tub and the whole time promising him I would be careful, and that I wouldn't hurt him, I trimmed his hair. But it was a HUGE fight.

Jake also loves to eat. He is always begging for food all day long. I swear, I feed the kid, but when you've got as much energy as this guy does, you burn through your food pretty quickly.

He's pretty independent as well. If you don't get right on whatever he asks, he tries to do it himself. I've caught the boy trying to run his own bath, climbing on a chair to get food out of the fridge, moving things, just because he wants to.

He's very different from his brother, but there's no one would would stand up more for Cameron in the whole world. Whenever Cameron gets in trouble, I get the wrath of Jake. He will come up to me, and in his deepest voice he will say, "THAT'S MY BROTHER!!" I try to calm him down by saying, "That's my son..." but my argument has NO validity with him.

He has a wicked sense of humor too. He will do things just to make us laugh. He pulls the best faces and knows he's funny.

What a fun boy I have in Jake. He's nothing like I would have expected to have when I first learned I was pregnant with him, but he's everything our little family needs. We really love, Jake.

Happy Birthday, Dear Jacob....

Today was my munchkin's 3rd birthday. My, how the time has FLOWN!

He got a few cool things for his birthday: a big monster truck, a pitching-tee, and then some Cars characters. He loved it and couldn't wait to play with his bat and pitching-tee, unfortunately the rain settled in before he got a good chance to play.

He'd asked for a monster truck rally cake, so I made one (it was SO yummy and WAY rich) and then we went bowling and out for burgers for family home evening.

Overall I'd say it was a VERY fun birthday for a certain little boy. I'm so glad he's in our family!

(By the way, the big-eyed face he's making in these pictures is new. We all laugh HYSTERICALLY when he makes this face.)

Ninja in Training

Jake's been having bedtime issues lately. He'll come downstairs after being sent to bed, and will complain, "Mama, I had a bad dream." He doesn't believe me that you can only have nightmares once you're sleeping, but that's beside the point.

Tonight he was extra grumpy and got sent to bed early. He was none too pleased with missing family prayer, so he came down and complained, "We need to pray!"

Yes, but you were naughty, go back to bed...

He came down several times, thankfully, daddy was here and took him back when he'd come down. (When mommy's alone, I just let him fall asleep on the couch, I have no staying power late at night...I just give up!)

Tonight after a while we heard nothing. I thought we'd won the bedtime battle. I was happy, and didn't think another thing of it....

....until Steve, after being frightened came to me, and motioned me to the stairs.

There he was....sleeping at the bottom of the stairs.

He sat silent at the bottom of the stairs for QUITE a while before he'd fallen asleep. He's mastered the art of sitting silently and sneakily.....

I think I might be in for it.

Phone Woes

Yesterday I jumped onto our computer to do a few things and found that the internet wasn't working. I didn't really think too much of it, and played a game until Steve woke up. Once he was awake I told him that the internet was off, and I didn't know what was wrong.

He played around with it for a while and eventually figured out that it was more than just a messed up modem.....our whole phone system was off. The phones weren't working. (No WONDER it had been such a quiet, peaceful morning...) He asked me if I'd paid our bill, I told him I did, so I didn't know what was wrong.

I hurried over to my mom's house to use HER phone to call the phone company. After 15 minutes I was told that they were going to send out a technician to fix the problem....TOMORROW.

How in the world was I going to live without the internet for a full day? This was going to be torture!

My mom let me borrow her cell phone, just in case I needed it for anything, and then I hurried home to tell Steve what was going on before he had to go to work.

That night, I played with my boys. We made cupcakes (making a MESS) and then we watched TV. After they were in bed, I played my computer game for HOURS. Once Steve came home after midnight, I even went to the store. I have to admit, driving around town at 2:30 in the morning is SO fun and relaxing....there is NO ONE you have to worry about. I went to Walmart and bought the new Harry Potter movie, drove around a little bit and then came home.

This morning I waited for the repairman to come. Finally around 10:00 there was a knock at the door. I hurried to answer it, and found it was a repairWOMAN. She was very kind and said that the problem was coming from INSIDE our apartment. She quickly checked all the phone jacks that we have in use....clearing them almost instantly. After taking her upstairs to my bedroom, she asked if there were ANY other jacks, I said I didn't think so, then she asked if there was a jack in the boys' bedroom. Funny she should mention that, there IS one, but we don't use it....

Unless you happen to be 2 and 3/4 years old, full of mischief and in possession of a tinker-toy. Jake had taken his orange tinker-toy stick and STUCK it in the jack. I was SO embarrassed.

Thankfully the lady was understanding and said it happens all the time.

Now we're back. (YAY!) But I'm seriously contemplating banishing tinker-toys from my house.

Teach ME for Trying to be a Good Mommy....

So my last post was all about tattling on Steve and his mistakes. (Believe me, the only reason I posted it was because the man RARELY does stuff like this anymore....he just has had a bad couple of days....) Now it's time to tattle on myself....

Today I took Jake with me to the store. I've been watching Sonic's commercials for their hot dogs....and they look REALLY good. So I figured I'd make my own hot dogs for lunch, but I needed to get some decent hot dogs (I'm a weenie snob....I only eat Falls Brand Beef Wieners.) and some buns. I also decided to buy some chili blocks, and the only store that I KNEW had what I wanted was across town. I took my chances and went across town to get the stuff.

When we were checking out, Jake happened to see the soda display. I was in a good mood and decided to let him choose a soda. I have been craving a Dr. Pepper, so I opted for caffeine, knowing I'd probably fall asleep anyway, then I let Jake pick his own. He grabbed a new soda by Sunkist. In this part of the country, we rarely have caffeine in our Sunkist sodas. I figured he was safe.

Once we got home I made our lunch and poured Jake's soda into a cup. I refilled his cup 3 times. I ended up giving him about 1/2 of a 16 ounce bottle.

After lunch, I planned on making the boy take a nap, because he stayed up WAY late last night and woke up WAY early today. He was in DESPERATE need of sleep. I turned on his cartoons, and held him on my lap. (This is how I usually get him to snooze....it's also tradition for me to fall asleep sitting up and holding the child, possibly snoring in his ear. It's soothing, I swear!)

Two hours later, he was just wiggly and NOT ready to nap.

Finally, I thought, "Wait, doesn't SOME of Sunkist's drinks have caffeine?" I went to check the bottle. Sure enough, the fourth ingredient was caffeine. I wanted to hit myself in the head. Are you KIDDING!? I'd given my already hyper child ENERGY juice!?

(At this point, I WAS impressed that the boy sat still for me for 2 hours, but still....) So I let him run around....this only made the energy grow and grow and grow.

I will NOT be doing this again, I can assure you....

Heck, there's a special spot on the label that SAYS it has caffeine!

See, I COULD have saved myself SO much frustration, but I was only trying to be a good mommy.....

Gotta Clean

Jacob is one motivated little boy. Today while I was on the computer (only for 20 minutes, that's not long, is it?) Jake managed to get into something quite important.

I turned around to talk to the little boy and noticed the wet wipes were emptied from the package and laying all over the floor and entertainment center. When I asked Jake what he was doing he said, "I gotta clean!" Then he proceeded to "clean" the TV and the mirror.

I can't get mad at the boy, because he's got a good point, the house DOES need cleaned, but I just think there's a better choice than wet wipes.

***************************************************

On a side-note, I've been reading a REALLY good book that has me looking at motherhood a little differently (probably why I didn't freak out when Jake emptied the wipes....) It's called For Every Mother: Celebrating all ages and stages of motherhood. The author is wonderful. She's the mother of 10 children, so she DEFINITELY is an expert in motherhood. This book is filled with short excerpts, stories and poems that will make you think a little differently about being a mom. I know that I'm trying harder to enjoy those moments I used to dread with my own boys.

If you're struggling with being a mom, finding that you are upset and feeling overwhelmed most of the time, check out this book....it's truly wonderful.

Built Upon the Rock

Jake's new favorite thing to do is sing "The Wise man and the Foolish Man." Today he insisted he needed an actual rock to sing his song....this is his result. (Forgive my sad video quality....)

He's so proud of himself too.

Collecting Black-Mail for the Future...

Are we EVIL parents, or what? ;)

Getting Ridiculous...

For quite a while now I've found myself falling asleep in any comfortable spot. I can be on my couch, at my parents' house, sitting quietly at the computer....it doesn't matter. I will fall instantly asleep. My boys are quite used to it, and Jake has learned to entertain himself rather well...despite his new coloring fetish. He will play with toys or find something to eat.

Today we had a "friend" over. (You should know, any child that is Jake's age or interacts with him is his friend...he has a lot of friends.) This friend was a little boy I've never really met before, but seemed sweet enough. He was fairly mellow, and Jake and he got along VERY well.

Part way through the play date, I turned on my sleeping nemesis: SpongeBob. It doesn't matter HOW many times I've seen the episode, SpongeBob WILL put me to sleep. Soon enough, I was snoozing, and the little boy came over to me and asked, "Hey, are you sleeping??" I quickly answered that I was, and he should go and play with the trucks or watch SpongeBob.

I just cannot help myself. I need help...this is getting ridiculous.

Ten Minutes of Chaos

Today was a fairly uneventful day....except for little 10 minute block. It was right after I turned off my computer this morning. As I turned around to talk to Jake, he began choking on a jelly bean. He had it stuck pretty tight....so he came running to me, gasping with tears running down his face the whole time. I grabbed him and did the Heimlich Maneuver a few times until he was breathing (bawling) and okay. He was pretty scared, but only stayed on my lap for 30 seconds before he was off and running again.

A little bit later, I told him NOT to eat anything but I had to go switch over the laundry. Our laundry is in our basement, and there's a locking door between the two floors. Usually I keep the door open and I don't worry too much about it. I hurried down and switched the clothes over and talking to Jake, who was at the top of the stairs by the door. Soon the door slammed. Once I'd gotten my laundry gathered I was at the top of the stairs I couldn't open the door.

He'd locked it.

I wasn't dressed...I was in my pajamas, bare-footed, and my front door was locked anyway....I banged on the door and yelled for Jake to open the door. He couldn't, because he didn't know how to unlock the door. Finally, after a minute of coaching, he opened it.

ALL this happened within the same 10 minute time frame. I don't think I can get away with ANYTHING anymore. He's too smart for his own good.

Crayon, Crayon EVERYWHERE!!

Jake loves to color. That's fine, until he colors OFF the page.

His latest artwork includes:

The back of our desk chair....green on beige, BEAUTIFUL!

The screen of our BRAND new TV.

His white socks (blue this time.)

Our red-neck mirrors in the living room.

The wall at the bottom of the stairs, yellow and red.

The computer screen.

The lid to his toy box in his bedroom.

And finally, his hands.

I promise, I am NOT encouraging this, I do remind him that we only color on paper, but this Van Gogh has different ideas....

The Funny Things Jake Says

His new favorite saying is, "Mom! Cameron's annoying!!" Um, where EVER did you learn THAT word little boy? *whistles innocently*

Funny enough, he says it at appropriate times. He MUST know what it means.

His other funny saying is "Mom, you a BIG boy!" When I tell him yes, mommy's big, but I'm a girl, he gets indignant, "NO, mom, you a BOY!"

Okay, so I'm a boy, and Cam's annoying.

It's Not Funny.....It's Not Funny....It's Not Funny...It's NOT Funny....

Lately, I've been a VERY lazy mama. I have been completely exhausted in the mornings, and tend to sleep the morning away while Jake has free-reign on the house. Usually he's pretty good about sticking to the living room (where I'm asleep on the couch) or playing in his room. It's been a good set-up.

Today, Steve had the day off, and I went upstairs to sleep with him in the bed. We invited Jake to join us and even turned on his cartoons. This didn't sit well with my 2-year old.

After an hour of sleeping-bliss, Jake came to me and handed me my cinnamon jar, almost empty. I awoke pretty quickly and began wondering what awaited me downstairs.

Standing at the top of the stairs I saw some of the carnage....cinnamon spilled all over the bottom 5 stairs and the stair-wall. I began to laugh and asked Jake what happened.....

Then as I got further down the stairs I heard Jake whining that his eye hurt. He was playing on the couch like he normally does, and noticed that this wasn't just cinnamon....he'd found the pepper shaker and poured it ALL over the house, the couches and chairs were covered, it was IN my DVDs, on the Wii board, EVERYWHERE. And now, apparently, Jake was rubbing it into his eyes.

This is the cinnamon, it's on a tile picture and a black sock.

I wanted to cry...If Steve hadn't been there, I'm sure I would have cried. He laughed and took pictures. (I told him if he took a picture of me I'd REALLY hurt him, good boy that he is, he didn't get any of me....) I didn't want Jake to get any more pepper in his eyes, so I told Steve to take him upstairs and clean him up. Jake thought he was in a bunch of trouble and began reacting the way Cameron would have. He cried and said, "No no no no no no....." Steve said that I should have been nicer to him, but I just wanted him to stop playing in the pepper....I wasn't worried about his feelings right then.

It was a mess. I discovered that he'd started in the kitchen and worked his way upstairs. I guess his bed is filled with pepper and cinnamon as well.

The empty pepper bottle sits in the kitchen sink (I had refilled this bottle last week). The quarter-filled cinnamon jar is on the table.....and the little boy is blissfully unaware that his mom was THIS close to a nervous break-down.

I Cannot Win

Jacob is a button-pusher. I mean this literally as well as figuratively. He is constantly getting into things he shouldn't and making them do things they shouldn't.

While we were camping with my parents over Labor Day weekend, Jake managed to push the buttons in their RV in JUST the right way to over-ride the ENTIRE electrical system. It took 3 grown men a full day to figure out WHAT he did and to fix it.

A while back, I left him watching cartoons while I took a fast shower. Now, for me, a shower is no longer than 5 minutes...this includes shaving of the legs AND a full hair treatment. I take VERY quick showers. In that amount of time, he'd managed to lose our TV remote (which is quite important, we can't turn the blasted thing off without the remote) and play with my phone, calling my youngest brother. I got out of the shower just in time to hear that he'd transferred the call to the upstairs phone and hear it ring ONCE. I looked on my caller-ID and thought that he'd called back the last person who had called me. So I called my mom, only to find out he hadn't called her, and she hadn't called us. When I hung up with my mom, my younger brother called asking if I had called him. I told him apologetically that it was Jake, and I was sorry he'd bothered him at work.

Last week, two days before the time change, my alarm clock (which is FANTASTIC, it's an automatic clock, I don't have to mess with the time ever....as long as it's set correctly) changed time. Steve was getting ready for work when we noticed it was an hour slow. How did that happen?? Someone, most likely Jake, messed with the DAY setting on the thing. He set it two days fast.

Knowing all of the things Jake could do, I've taken a few precautions: Our TV has a plastic cover over the buttons, so he can't randomly change channels, turn up the volume unexpectedly, or turn the TV off while we're watching something. I put all remotes and phones up high, where he can't reach. We have a lock on our computer, and turn it on ANY time we're not on it. And I've pushed EVERYTHING back on my kitchen and bathroom counters. I've even taken off the latch on the dishwasher, so he can't make it run.

Again, remembering my little button pusher, I went to take a shower today. I took the phone and remotes and put them up high, and hid the upstairs remote before going into the bathroom. Jacob, my sneaky little boy, came upstairs and played with Steve's clock-radio. He turned the alarm on, the radio on and then pushed his book off of his night stand. When I was getting my hair dry, he found Steve's fancy lotion, like the expensive kind, and SLATHERED everything in sight, the alarm clock, the night stand, the sheet and comforter, his hands and his shirt. Then he came into the bathroom and proudly said, "Mom, I washed my hands!"

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Jake is a button pusher, and no matter WHAT precautions I take, no matter HOW safe I THINK I am, he finds something else to get into and more buttons to push....mainly MINE!

Doesn't Everyone Have This?

I went with my mom and Jake to Grandma-Miriam's funeral. I was enjoying the talks and music, but Jake was antsy....and who could blame the little wiggly 2 year old?

I took him out twice. The first time for a diaper change, the second, because he was rolling UNDER the pews kicking the bottoms and annoying the people around him. The second time I took him to a little corner of the church where I made him run. I had him running from one door to the next, making him run to me and under the bench that was THERE...

Pretty soon, I was singing "Ring Around The Rosies." He LOVES this song. At home, he'll sing part of it at the top of his lungs falling down. He'll sing, "Ashes, we all fall down," then lift up his legs and land squarely on his bum. I know if I tried that I would re-break my tail bone.

The first time he fell down, he landed REALLY hard. He rubbed his little back-side and said, "Mom, I cracked my bum!"

Do you think I should tell him that EVERYONE'S bum is cracked?? ;)

Kids Say the Darnedest Things

Jacob is such a little chatter-box. And some of the things he says just CRACKS me up.

First off, he's on a birthday kick. He informs me daily that his birthday is June 6th. Then he tells me that it's soon. He's also been known to say that it's Tuesday. I guess Cameron being excited about his birthday is wearing off on Jake. Even though his birthday is past, he's ready for it again.

Next, he will say something, and even if it's a lie, he's VERY determined and will argue his point. For example, today I went with my parents to a dinner and we quickly buckled in the boys and we were on our way. After 10 seconds, yes, 10 seconds, he began yelling, "WHERE'S MY SISSER!?" I looked at him in shock.

"Jake, you don't have a sister, who are you talking about?"

"MOM!! WHERE'S MY SISSER!?"

"Really, you don't have a sister...."

"YES! ALL DAY!"

"Are you talking about Cameron?"

"NO! WHERE'S MY SISSER!?"

*sigh* "Jake, you don't have a sister...please stop."

Who knows WHERE he got the idea that he has a sister from....but apparently she was lost.

So Much For Peace

It was too good to be true. Jake makes it IMPOSSIBLE to have peace when Cam's in school.

While I was online yesterday, posting about Cameron and his first day of school, Jake found my fingernail polish. The boy painted the wall, my couch, his clothes and his body. I was SO upset! Then he was blatantly disobedient ALL day long.

So far today, he's messed with the computer, tried to stick his wet, sticky straw into the television, thrown toys AND the toy box, and run from me MULTIPLE times. He's going to kill me, isn't he?

Maybe having Cameron around IS helpful after all.

"I'm Hungry..." Said the Potty

So anyone who REALLY knows me, knows that I hate potty training....with a PASSION! Cameron had a ROUGH time training (and still has accidents...shhh...don't tell him that I told the whole world that.) It was a LOT of work for me, and I really worried when I had another child that I was setting myself up to go through that Hell again.

Jake is now a little over two years old, and his diapers are just disgusting. Anyone who has toddlers knows this. Baby poop: gross, but manageable. Toddler poop: GROSS, it's almost big-people poop! Every chance I get (normally when I'm changing stinky diapers) I tell Jake, "You know, this would be SO much easier if you went poop in the potty..." To which he ALWAYS replies, "No!"

Last night I was with my family and my younger brother told Jake that pooping his pants is just gross. Then he said THE most brilliant thing I've ever heard, "You know, Jake, the toilet is hungry! He loves to eat poop and pee..." Jake was excited about this...and proceeded to run to the bathroom (now, I guess I should tell you that we were in my parents' backyard....FAR away from the house and I was sitting comfortably in a chair....)

I called him back to me and said, "What are you doing?"

Then he told me, "Mom, I gotta feed to'let!!" Then he was off again.

If he was serious, then I guess I'd better be too, right? So I took him on the long trek to the house, and sat him on the potty.

Wouldn't you know it, the kid POOPED!! I know, I was shocked too.

I figured it was a one-time shot, but just now, he said, "Mom, I feed to'let...." I hurried him into the bathroom and he farted. I know, nothing there, but it was a good try....

I hope things continue on this route, if we do, potty training won't be as horrendous as I had feared. *crossing fingers*