Something New...

I'm actually going to be able to attend church tomorrow for the first time since the mass exodus incident. I'm actually pretty excited. Along with going to church for the first time in a long time I've been given a new calling. Since several people who are in my ward also read my blog I'll keep mum until after tomorrow, but I'm a little nervous. :S

We had one of our annual family reunions today. It was SO hot! I walked with my mom to the restrooms and when I got back my eyes were acting like I'd had the sun reflected into my eyes. It was SO weird. Usually though, when you get sun-reflection in your eyes it goes away within a few minutes....this didn't go away. I told my mom, and she said it was probably a migraine. Wha?? I mean, I had a weird migraine ONCE when I was in middle school, but I didn't think I got them. But sure enough, the weird vision thing eventually covered my whole right field of vision. I couldn't see anyone sitting on my right-hand side. So my mom jumped to get me some aspirin and a caffeinated soda. (I haven't had one of them FOREVER....) I have to admit though, I did thoroughly enjoy my Dr. Pepper knock-off. I LOVE that stuff!

Soon after downing the soda (within 5 minutes) I could see again, although I still had a head ache.

It feels like the head ache is on it's way back....blech! But I know what I can do! :) Only one problem....baby boy does NOT enjoy it when mama drinks caffeine.....it gives him a belly ache. Poor baby! :(

Jacob buried himself into my mom's armpit. I guess he didn't like the sun in his face. We found it highly amusing! :P

The family reunion was fun. Steve and I ended up with QUITE the stash. I got several pretty crochetted towels and hot pads, and Steve got a cool walking stick and some yummy syrup. And shocker....we spent more at the reunion than my parents! I may just faint! :P All in all, it was a long, hot, fun day.

Free-For-All-Friday

It's time for Free-for-all-Friday!!

If you want to ask me a question – and anything goes – here’s your chance. You can ask about whatever you wish, no holds barred. I’ll either answer honestly, or I’ll tell you that I won’t answer.

FFAF Answers

Amy said...
do you enjoy breastfeeding or do it b/c it's best for baby?

what is your favorite time of day with Jacob?

Is Cam adjusting better to being a big brother?

Amy:

I LOVE breastfeeding. The reason I do it is because I heard of the amazing bonding that comes between mother and child when feeding. I never got the chance to do that with Cam, because he never knew how to suck properly. I felt like I'd missed out on being a "true mother" because with Cam I had a c-section AND couldn't nurse him. I felt like I'd missed a HUGE part of becoming a mom. (Not that there's anything wrong with what I had done, but that's how I'd felt.)

So when I had Jake I'd determined that I was going to try as hard as I could to get him to nurse. Imagine my disappointment when one of his nurses informed me that he didn't know how to suck. I felt crushed! But I didn't give up. I'd consulted the lactation consultant and tried and tried and tried until he finally latched on and ate like a pro.

Honestly, breastfeeding is one of the best feelings I get from this child. The connection is amazing, and I don't have to get up and make bottles in the middle of the night....HECK, I don't have to worry about proper temperatures or ANYTHING like that. My milk is ALWAYS the proper temperature and mixture! ;)

I love it when after Jake's nursed he snuggles up to me and naps. (He's doing it now!) He's not usually too snugly with me (mostly because I smell like dinner....) so once he's fed and sleepy he'll cuddle up to me and I just LOVE it!

Cam absolutely LOVES being a big brother, although he does feel like he doesn't get enough holding time. He's constantly reminding me that he didn't get to hold Jacob. My problem with him holding the baby is that he doesn't know how to control the baby yet, and both of them will end up in all sorts of odd positions. I just worry that he will hurt Jake, although I know it's something that he needs to learn, I want him to learn when I'm right there the whole time.

*************************************************************

Deanna said...
What kind of sling do you have - and do you like it?

Deanna:

Uh, I hate to admit this, but I'm just borrowing this sling. I don't know what kind of sling it is. I know it's got 2 rings that I can use to adjust the tension and it's padded, but that's all I know.

It's actually taken both of us a while to get used to the sling. I think that the more we use it, the better it will be. (Jake is snuggled into the sling right now while I type.) I just need to get him in the position that HE likes. Laying in the nursing position (what I like to call, "assuming the position") is NOT his favorite. He actually likes to be up and down, kinda smooshed between my boobs! :P But yeah, I do like it. I'm sure that once we get better used to it that I'll even be able to manage cleaning my house while wearing the sling! ;)

********************************************************

onescrappygal said...
Have you started your christmas shopping yet? Am I the only one that's almost done?

Scrappy:

WHAT?! Are you serious!? I haven't even THOUGHT about Christmas (except for the savings we have put aside FOR Christmas....) I still have a birthday and anniversary in between now and then! Once I get THOSE out of the way, THEN I can think about Christmas!

As for being almost done....:P

*************************************************************

Elena said...
WHat's something you want to be remembered for after?

Elena:

I want to be remembered as a good mom. Whether it's going to happen or not is highly questionable, but I do try! :)

Take Me Out To The Ball Game

Last night we joined my dad's company for their annual party. It was at the local minor league ball game. And we had SUCH a good time!! Watching the game.
Jake even snoozed in his sling.
Cam had the "chicken" sign his hand.
My baby and my uncle pulling funny faces!
Cam ran the bases after the game was over.

It was fun to have a night where we didn't worry so much about Grandpa and just had a good time!!

Camping with the Crazies

We came back from our little camping weekend (that actually started on Thursday, so it wasn't so "little") early. And boy, am I glad!

The first night there I was setting up my tent and my grandpa, who was sitting on a lawn chair, kept commenting on how he didn't know this trip was going to be an over-nighter. We told him over and over that he DID know, but he forgot, but it's hard to convince him of anything anymore.

I tried to get my little Jake to sleep in his playpen, with a sleeping bag tucked in it, but the boy refused. He'd get laid down and would begin to scream! So I ended up keeping him in bed with me....for the whole weekend!

The first night we were in camp, we had an interesting event. Our camp neighbors came over to ask us to turn off my mom's generator because it was past quiet hours. It wouldn't have been SO bad, except the neighbors were SO noisy after we'd turned off the generator. Uh, can't you follow the rules TOO?! (Oh, it was a guy who speaks French, so all weekend long we would say, "Turn off ze moter. Turn off ze moter.") The next morning, my mom turned her generator back on to vacuum and the wife came over and threw a major temper tantrum. My mom had turned the generator back on after 8:30! We decided that we needed to find out what time quiet hours really were. 10:00 pm until 6:00 am!! We were on the other side of those hours, we COULD have used the vacuum!! What a brat! (Oh, they were tenting in an RV area of the campground. If they were so annoyed by generators they SHOULD have camped in the tent area!!)

That next day my grandpa did really well with his remembering. He'd comment on how he missed Grandma and going home wouldn't be the same.

Then came Saturday. Grandpa woke up not knowing where he was, why he was there, how he got there, or that Grandma was dead. We'd tell him over and over...even showing him pictures...and he couldn't understand or remember anything we'd tell him. I was beginning to go a little crazy. Answering the same question over and over is so hard!

Cameron tried wading in the river (which looked more like a really wide creek) and was wearing his Walmart brand crocs. He ended up losing just ONE shoe, and screamed a "my-life-sucks" kind of scream. We couldn't get the shoe back, and the kid was devastated!

Cameron also played the Wii all weekend with my handicapped uncle. Wouldn't you know it, they BOTH skunked me on Wii bowling! :P

Cameron got to go fishing with his Grandpa and caught 3 fish! I wasn't being very smart with the camera, or I would have captured the image of my little fisherman carrying the creel with the bleeding fish on it. He was so proud of himself!

We took the day on Saturday to drive to West Yellowstone and do some sight-seeing. While I was there I ended up running into my bestest friend, Kimby! It was so nice to see her and her mom. They got the chance to hold Jake and visit with us. It was so fun!

We laughed and tried to have fun, but with Grandpa's memory as bad as it is, it was hard.

Now that we're back, we're finding out everything that we need to do to get that guy into a care facility. We do have a place picked out with a room reserved, but we're worried about how he'll react to the change, even though he's already decided for himself that he needs to go. (Well, he decided one day, but promptly forgot the next!)

New Family Pictures

We decided to get some family pictures taken now that we have a new member. We got an EXCELLENT deal at my favorite store! ;) Enjoy!

Normal?

We're slowly getting back to "normal."

I now see my Grandpa a LOT more than I used to. He's so lost and so confused now that he has to have supervision 24/7. (Which usually means he's at my mom's house.) The poor guy has days where he is pretty lucid and remembers things better, and he has days when he doesn't remember anything! Yesterday he asked me 20 times within a 10 minute span where Grandma was. I would tell him that she'd died, and he'd say, "Oh, I thought so, my brain is so confused that I just couldn't remember." Our computer was out of commission for a week....hence the reason I had the SAME stinkin' post up for a whole week. Now, with the new fix on the computer, things are going as well, or better than they did before...we just have to reload everything we had on before!

The baby has decided that he's constantly hungry, meaning that my boob is exposed to the world on a constant basis. To me, it's no big deal...that's how my son gets his nutrition, but other people don't quite see it the way I do. I actually was nursing Jake at Walmart today while waiting for Steve to get his hair cut. You should have SEEN some of the looks people gave me as they walked past. And it wasn't like I was totally nude....I was completely covered! Sheesh, people, get OVER it!

We've also hit prime vacation season around here. People are either coming to see us, or we're preparing to see other people. This weekend I'm going camping with my parents and aunt's family. Steve would join us, except he's saving his vacation days for when we venture to Arizona in a few weeks. Poor Cam is constantly asking whether he'll get to go to the Learning Center or therapy....some days we just don't know for sure.

We had a fun inspection today. (You can imagine that last sentence read with total and complete sarcasm!) Our landlord decided that today was the day to water the lawn for an extra 15 minutes, which means our garage/basement flooded. And all right before the inspector guy came. Uh, can we say winners in the brain department? :P

I do have a random question though....anyone have theories about "orbs" in pictures? At the luncheon following the funeral last Wednesday we were taking many group pictures in the gym. Now, we'd been taking photos all weekend long, and hadn't had any problems with the previous pictures, but on Wednesday....

Well, we had pictures like this: (which is a picture of my mom's family....all 12 siblings and their spouses....)

Can you see the orbs floating around?? Do you think it's supernatural, or just floating dust?? And just so you know, it wasn't just on our camera either....many many cameras had these floating spots on the pictures. Either way, we're all fascinated by these "orbs" here in my world!

Life should fall into a predictable pattern soon....I'm just trying to adjust for now!

The Hardest Part

With Grandma gone things have been going nonstop. We're trying to get things put together for her funeral tomorrow. I was recruited to pull together a slide show of pictures of Grandma for the viewing tonight, my mom and her sisters have been practicing their singing for the funeral, my brother-in-law and sister have been typing up the funeral program. We're getting exhausted!

These things we're doing for the funeral really aren't that hard though. The hardest part in all of this is my Grandpa. He has Alzheimer's and can't figure out why Grandma isn't around. The family has had to tell him over and over that she's died and try to console him. The problem is that he forgets that he's been told and can't understand why he can't remember. We have been showing him that picture I had posted on my last entry where he's crying next to Grandma's body....it tears him up to see himself, but not remember being there. He's in a constant state of shock.

We've tried to get his mind distracted by asking him questions about when he was younger, but sometimes....and only sometimes....he refuses to be distracted.

Losing Grandma is something I've come to terms with. I still miss her laugh and her sense of humor, but seeing my Grandpa lose his wife time after time is hard!

Circle of Life

This past weekend was quite a busy one for my family. It all started on Thursday when we realized that my Grandma F was WAY worse than anyone thought so soon. My mom called all of her siblings and encouraged them to come here to say goodbye as quickly as possible. Several left immediately and drove through the night to be here.

On Friday things started going even faster. My poor Grandpa F, who has severe short-term memory loss, couldn't understand why there was a hospital bed in his living room, or why all of his kids had come to visit when he hadn't planned on them coming. He also said over and over that he didn't know Grandma was SO sick.

Saturday morning I got a phone call from my mom. The hospice nurse had come in to check on Grandma and said that she was "actively dying." My mom said she wasn't planning on leaving and wanted me to call my sister and let her know what was going on. All throughout Saturday we got phone call after phone call that Grandma wouldn't last an hour, so we crowded into her tiny home so that we could be with her. My aunts and uncles started singing some of Grandma's favorite church hymns and almost instantly her dropping stats would rise.

We went through the cycle over and over. Tears, saying how much we love Grandma, singing, dispersing, laughing, telling stories, tears.

That night we stayed until late. Steve and I have been planning to bless Jacob in church and decided that no matter what we would follow through with the plan. The only change was the after-blessing luncheon was moved to Grandma's backyard.

Sunday morning we got things ready and went to church. All of us that went (which, with the number of extra aunts and uncles in town was quite a large number) took our cell phones with us....set on vibrate, of course.

Steve gave Jacob a beautiful blessing, and even got our nephew Jayden blessed. We had the sacrament and we'd started in on testimony meeting. I knew that things may move quickly, so I quickly got up and bore my simple testimony. Soon after sitting down, my brothers, mom and dad got up and left, whispering to other family members what was going on. My sister came over and told us that Grandma had breathed her last breath. Half of the congregation got up and walked out. (Anyone who was in my ward and saw our mass exodus, I hope you weren't offended....)

Steve and I hurried to Grandma's house where all of the male relatives were outside crying. Grandma had died around the time we had blessed Jake.
I was told that the women were dressing Grandma, and I was told I could go inside.

I'll never forget the look of loss on my poor Grandpa's face. He knew, absolutely, that his beloved Mona 'Dean was gone and he looked like he would be lost.

We dressed Grandma in her pretty pink dress and the younger granddaughters placed beautiful roses around Grandma.

It was a busy, sad, peaceful day. But I am truly grateful that I know that my Grandma's spirit is still alive and that she is now where my sweet Jacob dreams of.

Playdate at the Park

One of my oldest, bestest friends came to visit yesterday and we had quite a fun time playing at a local park. We even got together with a few other of our friends who live here locally. The kids played, we talked and laughed....it was an all around GREAT day! :)

Here's a small part of our group...some of the kids were playing and didn't join us.

Cameron wanted to take a picture, so he snapped this one of me with Jake. Not too bad...although I WAS grabbing for the camera!

And this is Cameron with his friend Jasmine. These two twerps were due to be born on the SAME day....Cam was born 10 days early, and Jazz was born 3 days late.

Busy Sunday

We have been up since around 7:00 this morning to get things going for church (and of COURSE, we were late yet again this week....) In our home ward we had a baptism confirmation and TWO baby blessings. Then as soon as Sacrament Meeting was over we went to see my cousin's baby blessed. The church building she had her baby blessed at was being remodeled, so we had Sacrament Meeting in the gym (which had NO air conditioning at ALL) and we were all dying from the heat! My poor baby was SO hot! He was wearing a onesie, a pollo-shirt onesie, sweater, pants and socks.....by the end of the meeting he was sleeping peacefully wearing only a shirt! Seriously, it was HOT!

Then we all went to have a picnic at a local park....where it was hot! (Have I mentioned my HATRED of heat? I would MUCH rather be too cold than too hot....you can ALWAYS put more things on, but you can't always take enough off!) After the park we sought refuge at my parents' house (which has central AIR.....*chorus of angels singing Hallelujas*) I'm feeling SO good right now!

My grandma and grandpa came over to my parents' house as well....Grandma looked better than she has the last few days, but the lady just doesn't have an appetite at all.

Here she is making goo-goo eyes at Jake.

Now all I really want to do is NAP! But sadly, if I do, I probably won't sleep very well tonight! *sigh*

Free-For-All-Friday is Back!

It's time for Free-for-all-Friday!!
If you want to ask me a question – and anything goes – here’s your chance. You can ask about whatever you wish, no holds barred. I’ll either answer honestly, or I’ll tell you that I won’t answer.

Answers

Deanna said...
Hooray! I usually don't ask question, but I like to see other's questions and your answers! you're always so clever...but today i'm going to ask a question - or two:

1. Who do you think is having the hardest time adjusting - you, cam, or your hubby?

2. What's your favorite quirk about your new little guy (I've already forgotten his name...it will come to me...or not)?

Deanna:

1. I think the one who's having the hardest time is Cam. I know that he's feeling left out of a LOT of things....he's craving more mama and daddy time that we just can't quite give him. He's been an only-lonely for 7 1/2 years, so adjusting is going to take some time....I just hope that I can help him understand that we still love him as much as we did before baby Jake came. Until then, I just try to make him feel loved and listened to!

2. The cutest thing that Jacob does is laugh. Yes, he does. But when he does it he does it in his sleep. His laugh is SO stinkin' adorable. He doesn't make ONE noise, but his whole head just jiggles with the laughter! I can't wait until he laughs on purpose! :D

**************************************************************************

One Scrappy Gal said...
How does 4 oz of formula turn into 10 oz of spit up?

Scrappy:

(Um, you totally made Steve laugh hysterically at this one!)

I honestly don't know how it happens, but it's the same process that turns a little bit of milk into TONS of poop! (Jakey's diapers are starting to overflow now! How in the world did this happen!?)

She's Sick...

And I'm not quite sure how I feel yet.

My mom called me today in tears. Her mom's doctor's office had called her to tell her that they found an aggressive, fast-growing cancer in her mother. They're doing as many tests as they can, but the first concern was getting Grandma under control. (I guess she's been super sick for days...throwing up and just feeling miserable.)

They've found tumors in her lungs, liver and colon. To me, it sounds like the NF1 at work.

Grandma just turned 74 on Fathers' Day. I've already lost one Grandmother to cancer...I don't know if I can handle losing another the same way.

I Did Want This!! Really!!

I'm having such a hard time adjusting to my new life. Jake wants to be held ALL the TIME!! How can I get anything done when I've got a squishy attached to me? (So I don't get ANYTHING DONE!! Hence my jammie appearance at 1:00 in the afternoon!)

Cameron seemed to have been doing well, but the kid is regressing! He wants me to dress him, feed him, hold him, carry him....basically treat him like a baby! That just isn't gonna work when I've got an actual baby who needs me. We remind Cam that he's the BIG brother, and hope that works, but it doesn't always!

I get nervous around strangers now. Anyone who wants to see my baby is welcome....as long as I know you and invite you to see him. If I don't know you...I don't want you all up in my baby's face!! I can't tell you the number of times I've had to shoo away nosy neighbor girls wanting to be IN his face!! UGH!

I do love this life, but it's going to take some hard adjusting at first....I hope!

Fill In the Thought Bubble

1.

2.

Did You Know....

There are things that I'm slowly re-learning with this baby...for those of you who are as clueless as I was, allow me to share some of my new found knowledge.

• Breast tissue extends to your back and underneath your armpits. Yeah, sore boobies are here! :P (Sometimes I just wish Jakers would drink just a little bit more!)
• Babies poop....A LOT!! I swear, I get one poopy diaper changed and there's another waiting.
• Big brothers can be helpful, sometimes TOO helpful. Cameron is always asking if he can hold his brother, I'd LOVE to let him, but most of the time when he asks when I'm being used as a human binkie!
• Sleep is a luxury. Get it while you can! (Why didn't my body allow me this luxury when I was still pregnant?!)
• Breastfeeding is wonderful....if the baby cooperates! Mr. Jakey loves to latch on and then pull off again. Super frustrating when my boobs are full and in desperate need of draining.
• I know they say babies don't smile, they "have gas," but gosh darn it....those sleeping smiles are just TOO dang cute!
• People who see your new baby will play a game I like to refer to as "Who's body parts are whose?" Most people will look at Jake and say, "Oh, my goodness, he looks just like his mama!" But we got quite the shock on Fathers' Day when one of my cousins looked at him and said, "I see STEVE!" So far, Jake has his daddy's chin, dimples, curved ears, and pretty, long eyelashes. The rest of him?? Well, the general consensus still says me.
• Socks are NOT made for baby feet. Seriously, why won't they just stay on?
• People who saw you over and over during your pregnancy will comment on how GREAT you look post-pregnancy....leaving you to wonder how seriously crappy you looked while carrying this child!

Sleep deprivation is here, but I'm still completely in love with my boys. (Yes, ALL three of them!) My family constantly competes over who gets to hold the baby, and I'm surviving....

Jacob's Birth Story

I apologize for not posting this story earlier, like I said, I've been super tired and just plain wiped out with this little boy.

Last Friday (June 6th) Steve and I dropped Cam off with Grandma and headed to the hospital for our scheduled c-section. We were supposed to be there at 7:30, but we were there at 7:00! (I couldn't really sleep that night...I woke up all excited and anxious at 3:00!) As soon as we had left our house to go to the hospital I started having regular contractions. I remember thinking, "If we hadn't already planned on having Jacob today, then I'm PRETTY sure we would have had to have him today anyway!"

After checking in at the labor and delivery desk (which over the last month I had become VERY familiar with) and laughing with some of the familiar nurses (one who had helped me with my last Non-Stress Test the night before....) I went into the room, dressed and waited with Steve. I was SO exhausted after my long night, that I kinda snoozed here and there. It felt pretty good. After a while, the nurse came in and told us that we were going to be pushed back. There was a "ruptured breech baby" ahead of us. That's fine, I thought, I'm going to try and sleep anyway!

Then after another hour she came back and said that we weren't sure how long it would be until we were taken back because another person had come in, and they were premature, and all preemies are delivered in the ORs so that the babies can be whisked away to the NICU.

We filled out paper after paper...put our thumbprints on the birth certificate....and watched morning television.

Soon enough the anesthesiologists came, prepped me on the anesthesia, and started my IV drip (that is supposed to be given a half hour before surgery.) We were getting ready. I drank the nasty stomach acid stabilizer and waddled to the surgery room.

Once we got to the room, they made Steve sit on the garbage can outside and told him that they'd bring him in as soon as I was ready. The poor guy was SO nervous!

They took me back and started giving me the spinal. It was THEN that I realized, "HEY!! I'm having a baby today!!" (Yeah, not necessarily the BRIGHTEST crayon in the box!)

After the spinal (which BURNED like none other...) things went pretty fast. I didn't feel a lot (thank goodness) but I could "feel" the pushing, pulling, tugging....soon enough, I heard the doctor say, "You look like a boy face." Then they pushed on my ribs (I SWEAR, he was WAY up there!) and they showed him to me. He was absolutely perfect!

They put him through the window to the NICU for him to get cleaned up and weighed. Steve and I just kept staring at one another, I couldn't stop the tears or the smile!

Soon enough Jacob was sitting contentedly in his daddy's arms...and we were commenting on how he really favors MY side of the family (Cameron is ALL his daddy's boy....Jacob is all his MAMA'S boy!) After a while the doctor told me through the blue curtain that there was a cyst on my ovary and she'd try to save it, but couldn't promise anything. I started to worry, but knew that I was in good hands.

The doctor removed half of my ovary and said that the cyst was a dermoid cyst. It isn't necessarily linked to PCOS, but is something that can happen to any woman. What happens is the ovary decides that it needs to make a human being (yeah, no ovulation or anything, just spontaneous human production) and it makes this cyst. They can contain bones, teeth or hair. Usually they're benign, but since there's no symptoms, by the time they're found often they're HUGE and require the whole ovary to be removed. My cyst wasn't huge, but it was about the size of a chicken's egg. It had hair in it, but it didn't seem to be a problem (we found out that it was completely benign, and just some random thing that sometimes happens!)

The doctors put me back together and I went to the recovery room where I saw a couple who used to be in our ward, they'd had THEIR baby an hour before. I asked them how big their baby was and laughed, "Ha ha!! We won!" Jacob was 8 pounds 13 ounces....their baby was 8 pounds 12 ounces! ;) (He was 22 inches long as well...see, I TOLD you he was in my ribs!)

The day went quickly, but everything turned out well. I stayed in the hospital until Monday and was FINALLY allowed to come home with my baby! (The one thing I'd DREAMED of since I had to leave Cam in the hospital when HE was a newborn!)

Since then things have been going well. I had a scare earlier this week when my incision started bleeding, but the doctor assured me that it was because of all of the old scar tissue. Jacob had his circumcision (crying the WHOLE time.) There's lots of sleepless nights, but I'm SO grateful for this beautiful little boy in my life! Who would have thought after all those years of struggling that I'd be blessed with this wonderful experience!

Here's Jacob

I'm not QUITE up to my normal movement and endurance, so I hope these pictures will suffice until I can tell the WHOLE story! (Just know, that this baby is THE most beautiful baby I've ever seen!!)

My Son Cracks Me Up!!

Cameron: "Mama, when you're done checking your email, you've gotta feel my tires!"

Me: "Why?"

Cameron: "Because!! They're PUMPED up!!"

*giggle!*

That's EXACTLY why I should feel his tires!! ;)

Other things overheard from the boy today:

Cameron: "Aren't you just SO happy for me?!"

Grandma: "Why?"

Cameron: "Because, Jacob's coming tomorrow!"

********************************************

Cameron: "I'm good at Mario Kart....I go off the edge!"

Well....

So the computer is acting up....AGAIN! GAH!! Yeah, Steve tried to install the actual anti-spyware software he bought at the store, and POOF!! Our start up tool bar disappeared. Then today, he tried to just TURN the dang thing on, and black screen! I'm ready to be DONE with the stupid thing!! I just know that my friends all live in it! :(

So I've got a little over 24 hours until baby #2 comes, and I'm freaking out!! Don't get me wrong, I'm THRILLED to be having another child, but there are some anxieties that I'm facing. I love having Jacob where he is, he's SO easy to take care of while he's inside of me, I'm not so sure that I'll be able to handle TWO kids! I'm also waking myself up after my 5th or 6th nightly potty break. (Usually around 4:00 in the morning) and I can't fall asleep. I end up staying awake until 7:00ish, and it's driving me nuts! I'm SO tired, and I know this is my last full week of uninterrupted sleep! WHY!? I'll wake up and think, "Hey, I should remember to pack such-and-such...." Then I start to think of all of the other chores and things I have to do to prepare my house for this little boy. Then I just get myself all worked up and just can't sleep! So not fun!

Cameron is also going to the Learning Center and doing amazing!! He loves it and I know he needs it. We've also set up transportation for him, since I won't be able to drive him around for at LEAST 2 weeks after the c-section. He loves it, but I'm getting frustrated with the transportation people. They're great, don't get me wrong, but they're confused. I hope things are better now!!

I've been having insane dreams as well. I dreamed that I'd had baby #2 and he looked identical to Cameron, and I had a hard time telling them apart! (Yes, in my dream there was STILL an 8 year age difference, but that didn't matter!) So crazy!! I also dreamed that my mom, dad, grandpa, and Cameron crashed their way into the operating room. I'm so anxious about everything that these insane dreams aren't helping!

My sister and husband decided to come up for a summer break. (I'm SO excited!) She's got such a cute little bump! (Compared to my monsterous belly!!)

And we've cut off Cam's hair again. It was nearly to "hair-pulling length," and I know I won't be up to buzzing it when Jacob is here (at least for a while) so I cut it tonight. We left it long on the sides and back to make him look a little more like my grandpa!! (Yeah, cheap entertainment!)

Friday's the day I have the baby. I will let you know the details when I can, but we don't have access to the computer, so it may be a while....don't give up....you WILL know! :)