Happy Birthday, Cameron

Nine years ago, I was hooked up to a bunch of machinery in the hospital. I was *trying* to sleep, but lots of machines were making a lot of noise. I was given a shot of morphine to help me relax (BLESSED medication...) and I drifted.

After hours and hours of being on Cervadil, I was given Pitocin. The medicine was going full-blast, and there was nothing. Eventually, the doctor decided that if I relaxed, things would move along.

Oh, how wrong we were.

I was given the epidural and they lost Cameron's heartbeat, and my blood pressure dropped to DANGEROUS levels. The bed was flipped upside-down, and I was prepped for an emergency C-section. People were coming in and out of the room, except Steve, who was told to stay out.

The main thing I remember was lights. The lights on the ceiling, and how round and bright they were.

After rushing to the operating room, getting Cam's heart rate back, and calming down, I was draped and cut open.

My mom gave me a play-by-play of what was going on.

There was no squawk, no cries of protest, NOTHING. Not even the doctor saying, "It's a boy..." All I got was a quick blurb from my mom saying, "There's your little boy."

He was rushed to the NICU where he was hooked up to lots of machines, given x-rays, and tested for everything.

When I was finally able to hold him, I was told I couldn't nurse him because they weren't sure he had his kidneys. (Um, yeah, I was completely SHOCKED!)

It was a rough week in the NICU. I came to LOATHE the hospital, and the pitying looks I got from the nurses.

Eventually, after much prayer and blessings, Cameron was healthy enough to come home. I was so happy.

Nine years later, we have a lot that we've been through. Multiple tests, several diagnoses, and many tears, both happy and sad.

It's been quite a ride. I love you, baby boy, and yes, you will ALWAYS be my baby boy. You were my first, and I will love you forever!
Happy birthday, Cameron!

Jacob's Birth Story

I apologize for not posting this story earlier, like I said, I've been super tired and just plain wiped out with this little boy.

Last Friday (June 6th) Steve and I dropped Cam off with Grandma and headed to the hospital for our scheduled c-section. We were supposed to be there at 7:30, but we were there at 7:00! (I couldn't really sleep that night...I woke up all excited and anxious at 3:00!) As soon as we had left our house to go to the hospital I started having regular contractions. I remember thinking, "If we hadn't already planned on having Jacob today, then I'm PRETTY sure we would have had to have him today anyway!"

After checking in at the labor and delivery desk (which over the last month I had become VERY familiar with) and laughing with some of the familiar nurses (one who had helped me with my last Non-Stress Test the night before....) I went into the room, dressed and waited with Steve. I was SO exhausted after my long night, that I kinda snoozed here and there. It felt pretty good. After a while, the nurse came in and told us that we were going to be pushed back. There was a "ruptured breech baby" ahead of us. That's fine, I thought, I'm going to try and sleep anyway!

Then after another hour she came back and said that we weren't sure how long it would be until we were taken back because another person had come in, and they were premature, and all preemies are delivered in the ORs so that the babies can be whisked away to the NICU.

We filled out paper after paper...put our thumbprints on the birth certificate....and watched morning television.

Soon enough the anesthesiologists came, prepped me on the anesthesia, and started my IV drip (that is supposed to be given a half hour before surgery.) We were getting ready. I drank the nasty stomach acid stabilizer and waddled to the surgery room.

Once we got to the room, they made Steve sit on the garbage can outside and told him that they'd bring him in as soon as I was ready. The poor guy was SO nervous!

They took me back and started giving me the spinal. It was THEN that I realized, "HEY!! I'm having a baby today!!" (Yeah, not necessarily the BRIGHTEST crayon in the box!)

After the spinal (which BURNED like none other...) things went pretty fast. I didn't feel a lot (thank goodness) but I could "feel" the pushing, pulling, tugging....soon enough, I heard the doctor say, "You look like a boy face." Then they pushed on my ribs (I SWEAR, he was WAY up there!) and they showed him to me. He was absolutely perfect!

They put him through the window to the NICU for him to get cleaned up and weighed. Steve and I just kept staring at one another, I couldn't stop the tears or the smile!

Soon enough Jacob was sitting contentedly in his daddy's arms...and we were commenting on how he really favors MY side of the family (Cameron is ALL his daddy's boy....Jacob is all his MAMA'S boy!) After a while the doctor told me through the blue curtain that there was a cyst on my ovary and she'd try to save it, but couldn't promise anything. I started to worry, but knew that I was in good hands.

The doctor removed half of my ovary and said that the cyst was a dermoid cyst. It isn't necessarily linked to PCOS, but is something that can happen to any woman. What happens is the ovary decides that it needs to make a human being (yeah, no ovulation or anything, just spontaneous human production) and it makes this cyst. They can contain bones, teeth or hair. Usually they're benign, but since there's no symptoms, by the time they're found often they're HUGE and require the whole ovary to be removed. My cyst wasn't huge, but it was about the size of a chicken's egg. It had hair in it, but it didn't seem to be a problem (we found out that it was completely benign, and just some random thing that sometimes happens!)

The doctors put me back together and I went to the recovery room where I saw a couple who used to be in our ward, they'd had THEIR baby an hour before. I asked them how big their baby was and laughed, "Ha ha!! We won!" Jacob was 8 pounds 13 ounces....their baby was 8 pounds 12 ounces! ;) (He was 22 inches long as well...see, I TOLD you he was in my ribs!)

The day went quickly, but everything turned out well. I stayed in the hospital until Monday and was FINALLY allowed to come home with my baby! (The one thing I'd DREAMED of since I had to leave Cam in the hospital when HE was a newborn!)

Since then things have been going well. I had a scare earlier this week when my incision started bleeding, but the doctor assured me that it was because of all of the old scar tissue. Jacob had his circumcision (crying the WHOLE time.) There's lots of sleepless nights, but I'm SO grateful for this beautiful little boy in my life! Who would have thought after all those years of struggling that I'd be blessed with this wonderful experience!

The Piggy Slippers....The Final Chapter

There was one final place where I wore those mangy slippers...and that was when I was in the hospital having my son. By the time I went in to be induced to have the boy my feet were so swollen that I couldn't hardly wear anything on my feet. Those slippers were worn enough and stretched enough that they were balm for my aching tootsies!

When I was pregnant with Cam I had a very miserably sick time of it...and toward the end I was having to see the doctor twice a week for my high blood pressure. He told me on my last visit I was going to have to go to the hospital for an induction before my blood pressure knocked me into toxemia territory.

I was admitted and they inserted Cervadil to ripen my cervix. For most women this puts them into labor, but I'm NOT most women. I had really uncomfortable cramping all night, but no real strong contractions. I couldn't even sleep that night because I was so anxious to have my baby. So the nurse, who had been in my ward growing up, gave me a shot of morphine to help me sleep. Morphine does NOT make you sleep...it just makes you not care about anything! My thoughts were floating in and out of my head all night long...in my mind it looked like sentences in differing fonts floating past. (I know, it's weird, but I can now say that I LOVE morphine!) The next morning the doctor had them put me on pitocin. Throughout the day they cranked it up until it was going full blast...and I still wasn't feeling labor pains. My doctor had ruptured my membranes and had ordered the epidural for me, hoping that I would relax enough to get things moving. My hubby was in the room up until the doctor called for the epidural, then he was outta there! He HATES blood, needles, or anything having to do with medical procedures. My mom was with me the whole time (she loves seeing me through those things and is a great strength for me!) Well, once they got the epidural in my blood pressure which had been in the 200s/150s (or higher) dropped and they lost Cam's heartbeat. They immediately freaked out and began prepping me for an emergency C-section! My husband heard the commotion in the room and tried to come in, but they wouldn't let him in. He was so upset over the whole thing that he ended up calling one of our good friends to come and help him. My mom was in the middle of everything though. She later told me that my face had turned gray! They tipped me upside-down on the hospital bed and began shaking my belly to wake the kid up...and bring his heart rate back. They rushed me into the room and as soon as we got in there Cam's heart beat came back...but they decided to proceed with it anyway. I was asked if I wanted anyone in the room with me, and I hate to admit it, but I asked for my mom. I knew she could handle the situation better than Steve ever could. But I later found out that they had asked him if he wanted to come and he said, no! So my mom came into the room, tears streaming down her face and she proceeded to give me a blow-by-blow announcement of what they were doing to me.

Cam was born quickly and I didn't even know he was gone from the room until I had asked about him a minute after he was born. They rushed him over to the NICU and started running all kinds of tests on the kid. He had inhaled merconium and had an enlarged liver and spleen. They worried that he didn't have kidneys and other parts. I knew he was all right, but they were being cautious. The boy ended up staying in the hospital in NICU for 6 days. I was SO upset with our local hospital...they tried to feed the boy like he was a preemie (he was over 8 pounds!) So he wasn't eating on the schedule they had for him...he's a slow eater (and never quite grew out of that!) So I finally convinced them to let him eat on his own schedule, and he was able to go home! I wore those tattered slippers all over the place. The only problem with that was that when I wore them outside my feet got wet...it rained for several days after his birth. Those last few walks through the GROSS hospital was the final straw which led to the disposal of my FAVORITE slippers. The nurses would smile when they saw my feet though...just because they didn't see those kinds of slippers in the hospital very often.