Grandpa

Two weeks ago, I got a call from my mom. I could tell she was upset. She told me that my grandpa, her dad, had died. I was in shock. He has been living in a facility for the last 3 years and my mom mentioned that he'd been falling down lately. He also had dementia/Alzheimers. It was hard to see him forget things.

On Thanksgiving I was taking him home. It took him 15 minutes to figure out how to climb into my car. I was frustrated because he wouldn't allow me to help him, and so after 12 minutes I went inside to get a step-stool, by the time I got out he was in and buckled.

I'd actually spent quite a bit of time with him because my mom and uncle made sure that he was included.

The last time I talked to grandpa I was picking up my uncle from his weekly visit. Grandpa was sitting in his chair watching Disney Channel. (My uncle's idea, I'm sure.) I gave grandpa a hug and kiss like I always did and he invited me to stay. I told him that I had to get my boys home and in bed, but that I loved him and would see him later.

Nothing big, but I do feel bad.

We had all the family here last week. That was fun. We stayed up late talking and laughing. It took quite a toll on my little 3 year old. He's been grumpy and throws tantrums at the drop of a hat. I think once he catches up on his sleep things will mellow again.

Cameron took it hard. He knew what death was and cried. I told him that things were going to be okay, because grandpa was with grandma again and he could remember. That's the thought that got me through the week leading up to his funeral. He was happy. I knew that.

Then came the viewing. I wasn't there, but mom and dad took Jake with them. I hadn't discussed any of this with him because he's too young to understand and I didn't want to make him unduly sad. When he saw Grandpa in the casket, he said, "That's GRANDPA!" Then he was sad. My mom explained that he was happy and with grandma again. Jake then said, "But why did he have to die?"

How can you answer that one?

The viewing was quite fun...as grandma's had been. We laughed and talked. I swear, those viewings were the LOUDEST things I've ever attended.

The next day was the funeral. I knew that since I hadn't cried that the tears were coming....boy, did they EVER come. I lost it during the opening song, "O My Father." I realized that I will miss him dearly and won't be able to hug him again. It was sad, but then I also remembered how happy he is. It was a mix of emotions.

We slowly said good-bye to family after that. It was great to see them, but sad to see them go home. Good thing we have a reunion this year.

Grandpa was a great man who worked hard for his family. He knew the importance of making memories with his kids, and did it....frequently.

Good bye, Grandpa....until we meet again.

Sadness

Tonight I found out that my great-aunt-step-grandma died. This woman started out as my great-aunt, then after her husband and my great-grandma died, she married my great-grandpa (who had been her brother-in-law.) They were married for about 10 years before my great-grandpa died.

This April she turned 100 years old. She was quite the amazing little lady. She was spry and full of life up until the end. I remember at one family reunion about 10 years ago, they called her to come up on the stage at the church we were at. Instead of going to the stairs, like any other person in her age-group would, she climbed up the front of the stage, jumping up onto the stage. She was 88 years old then. I remember commenting to my mom that I wished I could grow up to be like her.

At her 100th birthday party this year, I went to visit with her and her family. When I went in the house to give her a hug, she said, "Now, you're Dawnyel, right?" How amazing is that? I mean, she wasn't even my grandma, but she KNEW me.

She was cute and truly amazing. She will definitely be missed! Love you, Grandma-Miriam!

Memories...Fickle Little Things

I don't know if I've really mentioned here how bad my Grandpa's memory has gotten. A year ago, he remembered a lot, but had many forgetful moments. Now, he barely remembers anything. It's been really hard to see him start to go this way. For a LONG time he didn't remember that his wife had died. On a daily basis we'd have to tell him, "Yes, Grandma died. Yes, you were there for her funeral. Yes, you got to say good-bye to her...." It was SO hard. He still has days when he forgets she's died. He has her funeral program on a little table by his recliner. He will rub it often.

The funny thing with his memory, though, is that he remembers things that he did a LONG time ago REALLY well. And he's funny when he tells you about the stories of his youth. He'll start out telling you the original story. Then he'll start saying something else, and for some reason he'll loop back to the first story he told you, only he makes it just a little better than what really happened. Then he'll start saying something else, and go BACK to that story, again, making it just a LITTLE more sensational than it was before. This loop continues for HOURS!

I try to visit him on a weekly basis. And usually I succeed. Yesterday, Steve and Cameron had days off, so we were going to go visit Grandma (my mom). As we drove to her house we drove past the facility where Grandpa lives and saw her car, so we decided to visit Grandpa as well.

While we were visiting, the facility performed their monthly (I think they do it monthly, anyway...) fire drill. It was LOUD and flashing lights everywhere. Grandpa looked at my mom and said, "What do we do?" Mom said that it was the fire alarm and we should get outside. (That IS what you do during a fire drill, right?)

So we all gathered up our little things and got coats on (the wind has been howling here lately...) and went to the nearest exit. The people who work at the facility were trying hard to get the fire alarm that they'd pulled to stop blaring, and we were the ONLY ones to go outside.

Grandpa lives on the backside of the building, so we took a LONG walk to get to the front to find out what was going on and if it was okay to go back inside. The whole walk back, Grandpa would ask, "Why do you suppose they did this TODAY?!" I told him it was to break up his day. *giggle*

Once we got to the front door, the people in charge were holding the doors open and telling us that it was okay to go back inside. They got the alarm turned off, and we went back to Grandpa's room where his memories of fire drills took over.

How is it, a man who doesn't remember WHO my baby is (he asks EVERY few minutes who's baby he is, and if he walks yet, commenting on how cute he is...) can remember a short little fire drill??

The story this time? When he moved to Caldwell (western Idaho) he went to high school. (When he lived here he went to a one roomed schoolhouse.) His first week at the high school they had a fire drill. It was the first time he'd ever been in one, and he was a little nervous that the school was actually going to burn down. I guess the school was completely made of wood, and was VERY flammable. The interesting thing about this fire drill was that the fire department had figured out a way to get smoke INTO the building.

This story repeated itself over and over. At one point, he told us that it wasn't at his high school that he'd had the drill....it was at a plant he worked at.

Yes, memories are funny things. I'm just SO glad I still have mine!

Totally Random

Some bits of my life are more random than others....

• Last night I woke up from a nightmare! I dreamed that someone told me that they were going to kill me by lethal injection today at 1:00 pm. I woke up thinking it was an omen, so I had to calm myself down before falling back to sleep. When I told Steve about it, he said, "I'm sorry," then he left for work. Thanks for caring, honey! :P
• My grandpa is now moving back here. He's been living with my Uncle Ben since July. He's not been happy (but he won't be happy unless he's living in his house WITH my grandma alive again....) He's staying with my aunt right now, and when my mom and aunt took him to a local assisted facility he asked if he could move in RIGHT then. They've started doing the paperwork that he needs done so that he can live there. I'm actually really excited for this. Personally, I think he should have been living in an assisted facility since Grandma died.
• Cameron has become quite the ornery night guy. We've been waking him up so that he can potty at night and last night he threw a HUGE tantrum. He flopped on the floor in front of the bathroom and REFUSED to go. He kept whining about how tired he was. Even if HE requests the wake-up-call, he still whines!
• Jake is crawling more and more. Instead of a wounded soldier, it's more of a push-up type crawl. It's almost like he's an inch-worm. He still gets frustrated though. If he wants one of us to pick him up, he'll throw his arms and legs up and cry out. He's also picked up a piggy oinking from Cameron. ONE time, Cameron shows him and he's picked it up! Seriously, Jake is going to excel vocally!!
• Steve hasn't seen all of the fun boy pictures we took the other day. He was working and since we don't have a computer at home to view the pictures, he still hasn't seen them all. I asked him if he wanted to go with me to Walmart to pick out a picture to turn into the newspaper for "Born in 2008" but he said he trusted my judgement. After I printed off the picture and turned it in the lady at the front desk at the newspaper kept saying, "Oh, what a cute picture...." I think she said it like 3 or 4 times! I definitely picked the right picture! When I got home, Steve asked if I'd printed off more pictures for him to take to work. I hadn't, but said I could make more copies today. I took them to him at work today and he seemed pleased. I can't wait until he sees them all though!
• My high score on this game is 574.9! :)

Salt Lake Again....

Our yearly trip to Salt Lake for Cameron's genetics appointments is OVER! YAY!! So far, he's fine. We wait to get the results from the MRI, but I'm sure he's okay!

We left town Monday evening-ish. We had originally planned on leaving town as SOON as Cameron got out of school, but my grandpa (my dad's dad....) had fallen that morning. Grandma Sue wasn't sure what had happened at first and called my parents' house to get help lifting him up. They think he had a stroke (or a series of mini-strokes) and he was in the hospital until today. Monday was spent getting family notified and spending time with Grandpa in the hospital.

We didn't get into Salt Lake until WAY late, and we were worn out. (I went with my mom...the usual helper....and my uncle along with my boys.) We checked into the hotel that I had previously made arrangements for, and went to our room. It was ALL wrong!! This place has two kinds of suites, studio suites (with ONE queen sized bed) or a town-house (with two bedrooms.) I went to the office to get things fixed (which they did QUICKLY, sign of a good business!) and then we crashed for the night.

Tuesday we mostly stayed in Primary Children's Hospital doing tests. Cameron was fine, for the most part. He did his obligatory whine/tantrum in the ophthalmologist's office. (It took me and a nurse holding him down to get the OTHER nurse a chance to get the drops in his eyes for dilating.) Thankfully, no new symptoms to report. *Hallelujah!* We did go and do another back x-ray for his research study he's apart of, and he got $50 worth of gift cards for his participation. (He feels SO rich!)

Then we decided to visit my grandpa (mom's dad) who lives with my uncle. I'm not quite sure what I think of his living situation right now. He seems content, but then again, I'm pretty sure he'd be content where ever he lived. (This grandpa is the one who has dementia. He doesn't even remember that his wife died half the time.) He lives in a teeny corner of a large bedroom of my uncle's house. I really don't want to say that it wasn't fun, because I LOVE LOVE LOVE my aunt, uncle and cousins, but their house is so jam packed full of THINGS that there isn't much room for my grandpa and all of HIS things. I'm a bit conflicted over my feelings with this situation. Stay tuned....

We actually went out to dinner with my grandpa and my other aunt's family. We laughed and had a great time. Grandpa seemed pretty with himself at times, but at other times he was questioning everything. Every time he sees Jake he thinks it's a new baby that he's never seen before.

After dinner we went back my uncle's house and watched some OLD home videos. The video was nearly 20 years old!! I just laughed!! Then we went back to the hotel and crashed again.

This morning we woke up WAY early and took Cam for his MRI. (He gets an MRI to monitor some plexiform neurofibromas that are growing on his spine.) Because my son is a wiggle-butt, he has to be sedated. Usually he has grandma hold him for his IV and take him back to the room. This time, Grandma stayed with my uncle Aaron and Jake while I went back with Cam. He was freaked out the whole time....worrying about the poke for the IV. When the time finally came, he was a WRECK! He screamed over and over that he wanted Grandma, but he was stuck with me. After taking him back to the room where they gave him the sleepy medicine, I went out to the waiting room and....well, waited.

After 45 minutes, a nurse came out and said that Cam was waking up early. I went back to recovery (where they only allow ONE adult per child) and saw him flailing on the bed and moaning. I tried to console him, but it wasn't happening. During the MRI Cameron started waking up early, so they gave him some extra medicine that really made him loopy. He couldn't control his mouth to even form words. The poor guy was a miserable mess, and was so hard to keep under control. After a while of trying to comfort the boy, the nurse said that if we could get him to a place where he could sleep comfortably, he'd stop being so cranky and she decided to discharge him. (He was only in the hospital for 2 hours!) We did the discharge and left as quickly as we could.

Overall it was a busy trip, but it wasn't as bad as it could have been. I'm just glad to be home!

Here's a few interesting pictures.

This one is my dad's dad (the one who had the stroke) on Saturday. He had very little feeling on his left side of his body. (The doctors didn't find any blockages, so they're not exactly sure what happened to him.)

This one is my mom's dad at my uncle's house.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

The new glasses are here. (I know, I was shocked they came so fast too.) I thought I'd look SO cute, and totally different, but today when my brother saw me he said, "I was wondering why you were wearing your glasses. Oh, they're new...." Yeah, such a bummer! :P

I'm also losing my hair. I've ALWAYS had super thick hair, but now, it's only super thick in the back. With Cameron I lost my hair almost immediately, and it was at the perfect thickness. This time?? Well, it's been falling out for a few weeks now, and I have a HUGE bald spot on the top of my head that I try to cover, but my mom noticed it the other day. I guess my cover-up isn't as good as I thought it was. I may end up looking like my grandpa if this continues.

My grandpa's house is no longer the house I knew growing up. My cousins and aunt and uncle have been busy all week transforming it to a home that will easily be rented. And really, it's different, but I think it looks GREAT! They still have a few more things to do, but hopefully, my aunt and cousin will be able to rent it before too much longer!

Because of this HUGE renovation, my grandpa has NOT been taken to his house, and we probably will avoid taking him there if at all possible. Last night, after he arrived from Utah, he kept asking over and over if anyone was sleeping in his house. The first time he asked I made the mistake of telling him that they were fixing it up, and there wasn't any carpet in it. He got FURIOUS! He said, "I didn't authorize that!" We know, Grandpa, but if you were with yourself, then you'd understand the things we're doing are for the better good! Poor guy, I just can't imagine losing that much awareness!

And as a final little funny note, my brother weighed Jake and himself on my mom's scale to see how much Jake weighs. Now, mind you, he's wearing size 6-9 month clothes and size 4 diapers. On this scale, which only measures by the half pound, he weighs 17 1/2 pounds!! HOLY COW!! I think Cam was that weight around 11 months!! What a cute little chubbers!

He's SO close to cutting his bottom two teeth too. He's a miserable little guy! Today in church I had to leave meetings MANY times because he was just so miserable. I've been thinking that they'll pop through any day now, but we're STILL waiting! Poor baby!

The other fun thing with Jake, he's rolling from his tummy to his back. Every time he does it he has a shocked look on his face. It's SO cute. I used up 45 minutes worth of video tape TRYING to get him rolling over on video.....only to get 45 minutes worth of Jake on his belly! :P

Camping with the Crazies

We came back from our little camping weekend (that actually started on Thursday, so it wasn't so "little") early. And boy, am I glad!

The first night there I was setting up my tent and my grandpa, who was sitting on a lawn chair, kept commenting on how he didn't know this trip was going to be an over-nighter. We told him over and over that he DID know, but he forgot, but it's hard to convince him of anything anymore.

I tried to get my little Jake to sleep in his playpen, with a sleeping bag tucked in it, but the boy refused. He'd get laid down and would begin to scream! So I ended up keeping him in bed with me....for the whole weekend!

The first night we were in camp, we had an interesting event. Our camp neighbors came over to ask us to turn off my mom's generator because it was past quiet hours. It wouldn't have been SO bad, except the neighbors were SO noisy after we'd turned off the generator. Uh, can't you follow the rules TOO?! (Oh, it was a guy who speaks French, so all weekend long we would say, "Turn off ze moter. Turn off ze moter.") The next morning, my mom turned her generator back on to vacuum and the wife came over and threw a major temper tantrum. My mom had turned the generator back on after 8:30! We decided that we needed to find out what time quiet hours really were. 10:00 pm until 6:00 am!! We were on the other side of those hours, we COULD have used the vacuum!! What a brat! (Oh, they were tenting in an RV area of the campground. If they were so annoyed by generators they SHOULD have camped in the tent area!!)

That next day my grandpa did really well with his remembering. He'd comment on how he missed Grandma and going home wouldn't be the same.

Then came Saturday. Grandpa woke up not knowing where he was, why he was there, how he got there, or that Grandma was dead. We'd tell him over and over...even showing him pictures...and he couldn't understand or remember anything we'd tell him. I was beginning to go a little crazy. Answering the same question over and over is so hard!

Cameron tried wading in the river (which looked more like a really wide creek) and was wearing his Walmart brand crocs. He ended up losing just ONE shoe, and screamed a "my-life-sucks" kind of scream. We couldn't get the shoe back, and the kid was devastated!

Cameron also played the Wii all weekend with my handicapped uncle. Wouldn't you know it, they BOTH skunked me on Wii bowling! :P

Cameron got to go fishing with his Grandpa and caught 3 fish! I wasn't being very smart with the camera, or I would have captured the image of my little fisherman carrying the creel with the bleeding fish on it. He was so proud of himself!

We took the day on Saturday to drive to West Yellowstone and do some sight-seeing. While I was there I ended up running into my bestest friend, Kimby! It was so nice to see her and her mom. They got the chance to hold Jake and visit with us. It was so fun!

We laughed and tried to have fun, but with Grandpa's memory as bad as it is, it was hard.

Now that we're back, we're finding out everything that we need to do to get that guy into a care facility. We do have a place picked out with a room reserved, but we're worried about how he'll react to the change, even though he's already decided for himself that he needs to go. (Well, he decided one day, but promptly forgot the next!)

The Hardest Part

With Grandma gone things have been going nonstop. We're trying to get things put together for her funeral tomorrow. I was recruited to pull together a slide show of pictures of Grandma for the viewing tonight, my mom and her sisters have been practicing their singing for the funeral, my brother-in-law and sister have been typing up the funeral program. We're getting exhausted!

These things we're doing for the funeral really aren't that hard though. The hardest part in all of this is my Grandpa. He has Alzheimer's and can't figure out why Grandma isn't around. The family has had to tell him over and over that she's died and try to console him. The problem is that he forgets that he's been told and can't understand why he can't remember. We have been showing him that picture I had posted on my last entry where he's crying next to Grandma's body....it tears him up to see himself, but not remember being there. He's in a constant state of shock.

We've tried to get his mind distracted by asking him questions about when he was younger, but sometimes....and only sometimes....he refuses to be distracted.

Losing Grandma is something I've come to terms with. I still miss her laugh and her sense of humor, but seeing my Grandpa lose his wife time after time is hard!

Circle of Life

This past weekend was quite a busy one for my family. It all started on Thursday when we realized that my Grandma F was WAY worse than anyone thought so soon. My mom called all of her siblings and encouraged them to come here to say goodbye as quickly as possible. Several left immediately and drove through the night to be here.

On Friday things started going even faster. My poor Grandpa F, who has severe short-term memory loss, couldn't understand why there was a hospital bed in his living room, or why all of his kids had come to visit when he hadn't planned on them coming. He also said over and over that he didn't know Grandma was SO sick.

Saturday morning I got a phone call from my mom. The hospice nurse had come in to check on Grandma and said that she was "actively dying." My mom said she wasn't planning on leaving and wanted me to call my sister and let her know what was going on. All throughout Saturday we got phone call after phone call that Grandma wouldn't last an hour, so we crowded into her tiny home so that we could be with her. My aunts and uncles started singing some of Grandma's favorite church hymns and almost instantly her dropping stats would rise.

We went through the cycle over and over. Tears, saying how much we love Grandma, singing, dispersing, laughing, telling stories, tears.

That night we stayed until late. Steve and I have been planning to bless Jacob in church and decided that no matter what we would follow through with the plan. The only change was the after-blessing luncheon was moved to Grandma's backyard.

Sunday morning we got things ready and went to church. All of us that went (which, with the number of extra aunts and uncles in town was quite a large number) took our cell phones with us....set on vibrate, of course.

Steve gave Jacob a beautiful blessing, and even got our nephew Jayden blessed. We had the sacrament and we'd started in on testimony meeting. I knew that things may move quickly, so I quickly got up and bore my simple testimony. Soon after sitting down, my brothers, mom and dad got up and left, whispering to other family members what was going on. My sister came over and told us that Grandma had breathed her last breath. Half of the congregation got up and walked out. (Anyone who was in my ward and saw our mass exodus, I hope you weren't offended....)

Steve and I hurried to Grandma's house where all of the male relatives were outside crying. Grandma had died around the time we had blessed Jake.
I was told that the women were dressing Grandma, and I was told I could go inside.

I'll never forget the look of loss on my poor Grandpa's face. He knew, absolutely, that his beloved Mona 'Dean was gone and he looked like he would be lost.

We dressed Grandma in her pretty pink dress and the younger granddaughters placed beautiful roses around Grandma.

It was a busy, sad, peaceful day. But I am truly grateful that I know that my Grandma's spirit is still alive and that she is now where my sweet Jacob dreams of.

Alzheimers? Dementia? Memory Loss?

This last weekend was quite a whirl-wind of events. (Part of the reason I was so ornery about NOT babysitting...I had plans!)

On Saturday, my grandpa received the highest award given to volunteers in scouting, the Silver Beaver. It's QUITE a huge deal. My grandparents have been calling their children for a few months trying to get a head-count on who can come and who wouldn't come. I had one uncle drive in from Sacramento, and another flew here from Minnesota. Because of this, we actually had planned some big family get togethers, which are some of the things in life I look forward to most! :)

Anyway, I went with my family to the scouting awards and was very impressed with the program. Several other high scouting awards were given out to scouts as young as 8. (And because I'm so hormonal, I cried....) They even acknowledged some scouts who blew the whistle on a huge molestation problem 10 years ago. Seriously, this event was HUGE!!

Anyway, they got to the Silver Beaver recipients, and it went off really nicely. My grandparents stood on the stage and just beamed! It was great!

After the ceremony, they had a reception area in the foyer where you could greet and congratulate the recipients. We worked our way out the doors, and met up with my grandpa. He was sitting on a little chair underneath his name. While we were talking, hugging, and congratulating him, he kept saying over and over, "I had no idea they were giving me this award. This was all a huge surprise."

WHAT!?

This is the same man, who less than a month ago was calling his children telling them about this award. He was the same man who repeatedly asked us if we were coming to his event. He absolutely KNEW about this. It was NOT a surprise.

But to him, it actually was. See, my grandpa's memory is gone. He remembers many useless facts, many stories from a LONG time ago, but he can't remember things from a few days, let alone a few minutes ago.

I'm very worried!

After his award ceremony, we went out to dinner with them. I sat right next to grandpa at the restaurant. We all looked over the menu, and grandpa kept saying, "I'm not very hungry, and this looks like it would be really big." So my uncle said, "Dad, why don't you order a kid's cheeseburger?"

Grandpa thought that sounded good and ordered one.

We sat around waiting for our food. It was probably only 10-15 minutes (we had a big group!) then came our food. The waiter tried to give Cameron grandpa's cheeseburger, but I quickly grabbed it and handed it over to grandpa. He looked at it, looked at me, and asked if that was what he'd ordered. We all assured him that it was his food. And then he said, "I am really hungry!"

He's actually been going downhill for a LONG time, but I just blew it off as being old, and not having many people around to tell his stories to. But recently, I've SEEN the downward spiral.

Again, I'm worried!

Then yesterday, we had all of the family around here get together at my mom's house for a big family dinner/party. We had a ball laughing, talking, telling stories, and just being together. During the course of the dinner the siblings (meaning, my grandparents' children) decided that they needed to address the issues with my grandparents. Their memory loss being the main factor in WHY something needed to be done. (My grandma has bad memory loss too, but hers isn't as bad as grandpa's!)

My mom asked me to keep grandma and grandpa distracted upstairs while she and her siblings went downstairs to talk. My cousins and I did a fairly good job of this, for a while. Then my grandparents started in on their, "Well, we'd better go," routine. At that point, they needed someone to drive them home (my uncle has been doing that while he's been staying at their house, and he was in the "meeting" downstairs.) So I hurried down the stairs (okay, so I waddled) and told the laughing siblings that grandma and grandpa announced that they were ready to leave. So in a quick minute, they decided that the meeting would be moved to a "quieter" location, my aunt's house. They grabbed grandma and grandpa and took them there to discuss their options.

I really wanted to know what was the outcome of the meeting, since I'm such a worrier, and waited for my mom and dad to get home. We ended up waiting for nearly 4 hours!! I told Steve that if they weren't back at my mom's house by 9:30, we'd leave, but they got back at 9:20!

The siblings, along with grandma and grandpa, decided on a few options and they're NOT going to be easy! But I do think they will be helpful.

My worry now is that grandma and grandpa will forget what they agreed to, and things will return to this state where no one quite knows what to do.

Growing old is NOT for sissies!!

I'm Feeling MUCH Better, Thanks!

After my ranting this afternoon I've mellowed and feel MUCH better. I went to my mom's house where I could rant some more, and my mom put it all into perspective: "He's acting like he's 14, and you've got a bad attitude!" Can anything else be said!?

I am a little miffed with Blogger right now, I've tried and tried to comment on some of my blog-reads, but for anyone who's switched over to beta, I can't! I've tried and tried, but in the end I've given up.

I'm ready to get back to normal blogging life. *breathe in....breathe out*

As a quick update, Steve's grandpa is recovering from surgery. From what we've heard he's going to be just fine. I can't tell you how relieved I am! I love that man and hope to speak with him again before he dies!

And I will be going to Logan on Saturday. My brother-in-law will be graduating, and we're ALL very excited and proud of him. He's one of those musical guys, and hopes to teach choir. He's been student teaching in Brigham City and seems to love it. I hope he and my sister find a place where they'll be happy! (Probably NOT Idaho, but where ever they go I hope they're happy!) I just told my mom that if I'm this grouchy on Saturday, I won't be going with them. She was happy to hear that! :)

And now we'll return to our regularly scheduled program!
Suzanne is kicking everyone's butt! She's gotten so many of the songs correct that I'm slightly tempted to rename the game "The beat Suzanne, if you can, game!" But I won't! The answers WERE Oh Little Town of Bethlehem, I Saw 3 Ships, and Hark, the Herald Angels Sing. She's a tough one to beat!

The rules to my game: you have to figure out the mixed up titles to these Christmas carols and be the first (yes, before Suzanne!) to correctly guess them and I'll post your name and link and put up my award with your name on it! Good luck!

Song #1:

A joyful song relative to hollow metallic vessels which vibrate and bring forth a ringing sound when struck

Song #2:

As the guardians of little wooly animals protected their charges in the shadows of the the earth

Song #3:

Frozen precipitation commence

So Mad Right Now! I MUST VENT!

Have you seen that episode of Everybody Loves Raymond that's all about PMS? I'm LIVING that episode right now! I'm just glad my husband doesn't have a tape recorder to record the things I'm saying!
OOOH! He just makes me SO mad sometimes! I just got back from taking Cam to therapy and doing some errands. I was telling him what was going on when he starts in lecturing me about things I'm going to HAVE to do next week. (Just so you know, I'm on jury duty next week, and I have to call into the office at least ONCE a week while I'm on....) So he's telling me all of this stuff that he says I HAVE to do...like calling in EVERY DAY, and I tell him, "No, I just have to follow their instructions." Now granted, when I said this to him, I didn't really SAY it to him...I pretty much growled and yelled at the same time. Then he goes into a whole lecture about how grouchy I am.
THIS IS NOT HELPING MY SITUATION! Telling me I'm grouchy when I'm grouchy is a one-way ticket to GROUCH-VILLE! UGH! Learn from past mistakes, dude!
Then when I sit down on the couch and I grab the remote and change the channel to something I'd rather watch. He then demands to know what I think I'm doing. I tell him I'm changing the channel. To which he again LECTURES me on how he was there first. Uh....How many times do you do this to me?? Try everyday! I say this to him...yes, I'm still pissed off, and he then mutters UNDER his breath, "PMS!"
With those three letters I'm off. I chuck the remote at the dork, and fume up the stairs to cool off. Is it working? Not quite!
On top of my "grouchiness" we've got a few other things going on. Steve's grandpa is in the hospital in Spokane, undergoing some pretty intense things. He's got some blood clots moving to his brain and they're attempting to destroy the clots with laser surgery. (Don't ask me all of the details, all I hear is what Steve's family tells HIM.) They're calling and texting everyone to let them know what's going on. I'm stressing about that, and getting PMS isn't really helping me cope! UGH!
My parents took in another exchange student last week with the idea that they'd be able to keep him for the rest of the school year, but due to some international rules, they can't. And I really bonded with this guy! I don't want to see him go, but he's going.
We have very little food in the house and I'm STARVING, but even if we DID have food, I couldn't eat much of it anyway because my jaw is KILLING me!
Then I'm STILL recovering from my teeth being pulled yesterday. It still hurts like it did before they were pulled, but now I have tender gums where they yanked the teeth out of my head. I had to wake up and take some pain killers early this morning, then try to sleep. Let me tell you, it was NOT a fun morning!
I'm so sorry for this post, but I had to get it all out of my system. I'm not really feeling up to doing the game today, so I'll do it another time. I just had to vent and try to get my feelings OFF my chest and see things in a different way.
The ONE ray of happiness in all of this crud going on is that my friend Carrie had her baby today. She called me and we talked for a while. I'm just glad she and her family are doing fine.

My Life Monday

Since I was gone for most of Monday, I'm posting this a little late!
The topic is: In memory of....

This is my father's parents. This post is in memory of my beautiful grandmother H. She died August 25, 1999. She wasn't very old when she died, only 58, but she led a very filling life. She had colon cancer and she lived for over a year past her initial diagnosis. Her last year was an eye opener for me.
My grandma LOVED life. She was an outdoors woman that taught me to love the outdoors. She loved fishing, hunting, camping and just being outside. Thanks to her I have MANY memories of camp outs with my family and names for things that probably shouldn't be called what she called them. One of my favorite memories involves the place we went camping this weekend. She had to go to the bathroom, and the only facilities around was a small outhouse down the road. She HATED spiders and if there was a chance that one would be around, she'd take preventative measures (many times, me!) She grabbed my hand and told me that we needed to take a walk to the "pinky-stinky!" So, for many many MANY years I called outhouses "pinky-stinkies!"
I was her oldest grandchild and I have memories of her for as long as I can remember. I can remember coming to her aid time and time again when she'd find a spider (I was her spider killer) and I remember her outside of her home without shoes. The woman hated shoes of any kind and had the funniest flip-flops I'd ever seen. There was no top to them, just the soles! It was one of her prized finds! She only wore the things a few times, but it was funny to see her coming toward us, barefooted...except she wasn't really!
Going to her house, I would be assaulted with smells. Smells of yummy food and cigarette smoke. She was a smoker until about 3 or 4 years before she died. So for a long time the smell of cigarette smoke was a comfort to me, now it just makes me gag!
One of the funniest things about my grandma was her love of the color orange. EVERYTHING in her house was orange, from the carpet in her living room, to the laminate in her kitchen. When I think of her house '70's orange is the color that comes to mind! She loved collecting things too. She had a small bookcase filled with Garfield toys, her fridge was covered in magnets, and she had spoons and knick knacks on her walls. She was a mother to 8 kids. Many of them have inherited her sense of humor. My dad told me that one of her famous sayings was one that my own mother adopted when we got too obnoxious. "I'm going to change my name to a bad word, so when you say it I can slap you!" Of course, since it was from my grandmother, she'd actually put in the swear word, but I'm not a swearing person, so I've omitted it! But she was very funny and passed that quality onto her family.
One of the best memories I have of her happened a few months before we found out she had cancer. She was a bus driver for the local school district and she even taught driver's ed for CDLs! She was an amazing driver! Every year she'd have to go to Boise for the state bus driver meetings and that year she asked me to go. We had so much fun. She told me stories of her growing up years and we giggled like little girls. That trip will ALWAYS be a highlight in my life!
Ever since I was a little girl I wanted to have my grandmother come to my wedding. As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I knew I wanted to be married in the temple and I also knew that she wasn't able to go because she had several faults that prevented it. So on that trip to Boise I let her know that I wanted her there. Shortly after that she and my grandpa became active once again in the church and a year before I got married they were able to go themselves! After I met Steve, she drilled him with questions about what our lives would be like and how many kids we'd have. I was happy to know that she approved of him and that she'd be able to go to my wedding. We set our wedding date for early August, but unfortunately, things weren't working out, so we had to move the date back to October. She died the end of August and I was heartbroken. I wanted her there badly! We had been praying for her to be released from the pain of her small, broken body, so it was a relief, but all the same I was upset she wouldn't be there. On my wedding day, I was blessed to know that she was there in spirit. There was an empty seat beside my grandpa and I knew that she was there!
I love and miss my grandmother. There are days when I think about her ornery attitude and I see it in Cam or feel it in myself. She was a wonderful woman and I dearly, dearly miss her!

To Read OTHER MLMs go to Rachelle's blog.

I'm still on Vacation, but I couldn't stay away!!

Steve just got back from Priesthood session of conference (I made him go) and told me that he had called his aunt and she wanted us to email her, since we get zip-o cell phone service where we are staying! So here I am...hacking in on my husband's grandparent's computer...BLOGGING!! I can't help myself...is there a self-help group for people like me??

We are having so much fun here...we really DON'T want to leave. It feels like we're camping because his grandparents live so far out of town and there is a little bit of wooded area nearby. It's just gorgeous here! It did snow and rain today, but luckily we got out yesterday when it was nice weather and took the pics that we wanted! When I get home we will post them, but I don't know how to do it on their computer, so I won't mess with it. They're pretty terrified of technology. They use it, but they don't like messing with their routines on the things they have or they'd get lost!

Steve just came in the room and told me that his grandparents are waiting for us. I guess I should go. I'm really looking forward to using the hot tub again tonight! They've been so good to us, I'm so glad that we got to come and see them. Look for the more exciting and updated blog from this adventure!