Noises I WISH You Could Hear

The constant snort that Jake makes when he nurses....so cute!

Cameron BEGGING over and over to hold his baby brother, or announcing TO his baby brother that he's here. "Here's BIG brother, Cameron!"

The laughing of Cameron with the cute faces that his brother makes. It's just too TOO adorable!

The goo of Jacob when I try to talk to him. It's like he's talking back to me.

The constant screams that come from a belly ache. Either from mama eating onions or drinking caffeine or from a grandparent deciding that baby needs his first taste of ice cream....thus causing a major baby belly ache.

And finally in the middle of the night I hear ONE more sound. The first time I heard it I thought I was dreaming. Imagine the noise Chewbacca from Star Wars makes. Now imagine that same "Chewbacca call" a little higher pitched. Yeah, I call it the baby Chewbacca. It's Jake, letting me know he's hungry and ready to be fed.

Currently....

Jacob is growing like a "bad weed, in a good way." I walked with the boys to church on Sunday and my neighbor (nice man) came up and said how the baby was growing like a bad weed. I added, "But in a good way, right?" He amended his comment and we had a little giggle.

Almost 3 weeks ago now, he weighed 11 pounds 2 ounces. I KNOW he's bigger than that now, but I couldn't tell you how big he is. He barely fits into some of his size 0-3 month clothes, and has moved up to size 2 diapers. I had nearly a whole bag of the size 1's but I found someone who could use them! I wanted to use the whole bag up, but the kid pooped through 3 outfits in one day. It was time to move on.

My baby now eats like a pro. Thanks to the eating, he's chunked out. His thighs are just rolls! It's so fun to have a chubby baby.

He has been trying to hold his head up on his own since the day he was born, and is ALMOST there now. He's super strong where he can stand on his legs with just a little help standing up. It's like he's got things to do and he's ready to do them.

Cameron is also growing like crazy. He's SO tall. It's insane for me to think that at one time he was Jake's size. Although he's tall, he's not big. He's still skinny and I constantly have to remind the boy to pull up his pants otherwise his butt will hang out.

My baby brother is leaving tomorrow for the MTC. I'm going to miss him, but I'm sure he'll be fine. And who knows, maybe the time will speed the way the last 7-8 years have for me. Tonight he'll be an "official" missionary, and I plan to get pictures of him with the boys so they'll have a way to remember him for when he gets home.

My uncle Ben has been taking care of my grandpa. It's been such a blessing to not be worrying about grandpa all the time. I'm sure it's not easy for Uncle Ben, but he's doing a GREAT job. I guess the new plan is that Uncle Ben will move into grandpa's house and take care of him full-time. What a great blessing for Grandpa to continue to live in his house. Even though he still doesn't remember, I'm sure the transition into this new life without Grandma will be easier in his own home.

Even though my uncle will be living with my grandpa, my OTHER uncle will be moving out of Grandpa's house and into my mom's. Uncle Aaron is handicapped and needs as much, if not more, care than Grandpa. He's told my mom on more than one occasion that he can't WAIT to move into her house. He says it will be SO fun! We'll start moving him in on Thursday.

We're preparing for our trip to Arizona. We will be gone all next week. And Steve is SO ready for a vacation. He's been planning and saving for this trip for 2 years. He really deserves it!

Otherwise, life goes on....and we TRY to keep up! :)

The Day After

I'm now our ward's Visiting Teaching leader. It's actually QUITE a huge job for me. What it entails is turning in the monthly visiting teaching reports from all of the Visiting Teaching supervisors and helping with the routes and interviews, then I also help out with the annual Visiting Teaching conference (which is in September....why it couldn't have been a few months ago is my new question....)

I'm so nervous about it. It's kind of funny because this is the same calling my mom has in HER ward, so I know what to expect....and she tells me that it's hard. :P Oh, well, I guess I can handle it!

My problem that I have to overcome is my hatred of talking on the phone! (Yes, I can hear you giggling about it now...) I also need to gain a testimony of Visiting Teaching...yes, it's going to be a BIG job, but I can do it.....I hope! :)

Something New...

I'm actually going to be able to attend church tomorrow for the first time since the mass exodus incident. I'm actually pretty excited. Along with going to church for the first time in a long time I've been given a new calling. Since several people who are in my ward also read my blog I'll keep mum until after tomorrow, but I'm a little nervous. :S

We had one of our annual family reunions today. It was SO hot! I walked with my mom to the restrooms and when I got back my eyes were acting like I'd had the sun reflected into my eyes. It was SO weird. Usually though, when you get sun-reflection in your eyes it goes away within a few minutes....this didn't go away. I told my mom, and she said it was probably a migraine. Wha?? I mean, I had a weird migraine ONCE when I was in middle school, but I didn't think I got them. But sure enough, the weird vision thing eventually covered my whole right field of vision. I couldn't see anyone sitting on my right-hand side. So my mom jumped to get me some aspirin and a caffeinated soda. (I haven't had one of them FOREVER....) I have to admit though, I did thoroughly enjoy my Dr. Pepper knock-off. I LOVE that stuff!

Soon after downing the soda (within 5 minutes) I could see again, although I still had a head ache.

It feels like the head ache is on it's way back....blech! But I know what I can do! :) Only one problem....baby boy does NOT enjoy it when mama drinks caffeine.....it gives him a belly ache. Poor baby! :(

Jacob buried himself into my mom's armpit. I guess he didn't like the sun in his face. We found it highly amusing! :P

The family reunion was fun. Steve and I ended up with QUITE the stash. I got several pretty crochetted towels and hot pads, and Steve got a cool walking stick and some yummy syrup. And shocker....we spent more at the reunion than my parents! I may just faint! :P All in all, it was a long, hot, fun day.

Free-For-All-Friday

It's time for Free-for-all-Friday!!

If you want to ask me a question – and anything goes – here’s your chance. You can ask about whatever you wish, no holds barred. I’ll either answer honestly, or I’ll tell you that I won’t answer.

FFAF Answers

Amy said...
do you enjoy breastfeeding or do it b/c it's best for baby?

what is your favorite time of day with Jacob?

Is Cam adjusting better to being a big brother?

Amy:

I LOVE breastfeeding. The reason I do it is because I heard of the amazing bonding that comes between mother and child when feeding. I never got the chance to do that with Cam, because he never knew how to suck properly. I felt like I'd missed out on being a "true mother" because with Cam I had a c-section AND couldn't nurse him. I felt like I'd missed a HUGE part of becoming a mom. (Not that there's anything wrong with what I had done, but that's how I'd felt.)

So when I had Jake I'd determined that I was going to try as hard as I could to get him to nurse. Imagine my disappointment when one of his nurses informed me that he didn't know how to suck. I felt crushed! But I didn't give up. I'd consulted the lactation consultant and tried and tried and tried until he finally latched on and ate like a pro.

Honestly, breastfeeding is one of the best feelings I get from this child. The connection is amazing, and I don't have to get up and make bottles in the middle of the night....HECK, I don't have to worry about proper temperatures or ANYTHING like that. My milk is ALWAYS the proper temperature and mixture! ;)

I love it when after Jake's nursed he snuggles up to me and naps. (He's doing it now!) He's not usually too snugly with me (mostly because I smell like dinner....) so once he's fed and sleepy he'll cuddle up to me and I just LOVE it!

Cam absolutely LOVES being a big brother, although he does feel like he doesn't get enough holding time. He's constantly reminding me that he didn't get to hold Jacob. My problem with him holding the baby is that he doesn't know how to control the baby yet, and both of them will end up in all sorts of odd positions. I just worry that he will hurt Jake, although I know it's something that he needs to learn, I want him to learn when I'm right there the whole time.

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Deanna said...
What kind of sling do you have - and do you like it?

Deanna:

Uh, I hate to admit this, but I'm just borrowing this sling. I don't know what kind of sling it is. I know it's got 2 rings that I can use to adjust the tension and it's padded, but that's all I know.

It's actually taken both of us a while to get used to the sling. I think that the more we use it, the better it will be. (Jake is snuggled into the sling right now while I type.) I just need to get him in the position that HE likes. Laying in the nursing position (what I like to call, "assuming the position") is NOT his favorite. He actually likes to be up and down, kinda smooshed between my boobs! :P But yeah, I do like it. I'm sure that once we get better used to it that I'll even be able to manage cleaning my house while wearing the sling! ;)

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onescrappygal said...
Have you started your christmas shopping yet? Am I the only one that's almost done?

Scrappy:

WHAT?! Are you serious!? I haven't even THOUGHT about Christmas (except for the savings we have put aside FOR Christmas....) I still have a birthday and anniversary in between now and then! Once I get THOSE out of the way, THEN I can think about Christmas!

As for being almost done....:P

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Elena said...
WHat's something you want to be remembered for after?

Elena:

I want to be remembered as a good mom. Whether it's going to happen or not is highly questionable, but I do try! :)

Take Me Out To The Ball Game

Last night we joined my dad's company for their annual party. It was at the local minor league ball game. And we had SUCH a good time!! Watching the game.
Jake even snoozed in his sling.
Cam had the "chicken" sign his hand.
My baby and my uncle pulling funny faces!
Cam ran the bases after the game was over.

It was fun to have a night where we didn't worry so much about Grandpa and just had a good time!!

Camping with the Crazies

We came back from our little camping weekend (that actually started on Thursday, so it wasn't so "little") early. And boy, am I glad!

The first night there I was setting up my tent and my grandpa, who was sitting on a lawn chair, kept commenting on how he didn't know this trip was going to be an over-nighter. We told him over and over that he DID know, but he forgot, but it's hard to convince him of anything anymore.

I tried to get my little Jake to sleep in his playpen, with a sleeping bag tucked in it, but the boy refused. He'd get laid down and would begin to scream! So I ended up keeping him in bed with me....for the whole weekend!

The first night we were in camp, we had an interesting event. Our camp neighbors came over to ask us to turn off my mom's generator because it was past quiet hours. It wouldn't have been SO bad, except the neighbors were SO noisy after we'd turned off the generator. Uh, can't you follow the rules TOO?! (Oh, it was a guy who speaks French, so all weekend long we would say, "Turn off ze moter. Turn off ze moter.") The next morning, my mom turned her generator back on to vacuum and the wife came over and threw a major temper tantrum. My mom had turned the generator back on after 8:30! We decided that we needed to find out what time quiet hours really were. 10:00 pm until 6:00 am!! We were on the other side of those hours, we COULD have used the vacuum!! What a brat! (Oh, they were tenting in an RV area of the campground. If they were so annoyed by generators they SHOULD have camped in the tent area!!)

That next day my grandpa did really well with his remembering. He'd comment on how he missed Grandma and going home wouldn't be the same.

Then came Saturday. Grandpa woke up not knowing where he was, why he was there, how he got there, or that Grandma was dead. We'd tell him over and over...even showing him pictures...and he couldn't understand or remember anything we'd tell him. I was beginning to go a little crazy. Answering the same question over and over is so hard!

Cameron tried wading in the river (which looked more like a really wide creek) and was wearing his Walmart brand crocs. He ended up losing just ONE shoe, and screamed a "my-life-sucks" kind of scream. We couldn't get the shoe back, and the kid was devastated!

Cameron also played the Wii all weekend with my handicapped uncle. Wouldn't you know it, they BOTH skunked me on Wii bowling! :P

Cameron got to go fishing with his Grandpa and caught 3 fish! I wasn't being very smart with the camera, or I would have captured the image of my little fisherman carrying the creel with the bleeding fish on it. He was so proud of himself!

We took the day on Saturday to drive to West Yellowstone and do some sight-seeing. While I was there I ended up running into my bestest friend, Kimby! It was so nice to see her and her mom. They got the chance to hold Jake and visit with us. It was so fun!

We laughed and tried to have fun, but with Grandpa's memory as bad as it is, it was hard.

Now that we're back, we're finding out everything that we need to do to get that guy into a care facility. We do have a place picked out with a room reserved, but we're worried about how he'll react to the change, even though he's already decided for himself that he needs to go. (Well, he decided one day, but promptly forgot the next!)

New Family Pictures

We decided to get some family pictures taken now that we have a new member. We got an EXCELLENT deal at my favorite store! ;) Enjoy!

Normal?

We're slowly getting back to "normal."

I now see my Grandpa a LOT more than I used to. He's so lost and so confused now that he has to have supervision 24/7. (Which usually means he's at my mom's house.) The poor guy has days where he is pretty lucid and remembers things better, and he has days when he doesn't remember anything! Yesterday he asked me 20 times within a 10 minute span where Grandma was. I would tell him that she'd died, and he'd say, "Oh, I thought so, my brain is so confused that I just couldn't remember." Our computer was out of commission for a week....hence the reason I had the SAME stinkin' post up for a whole week. Now, with the new fix on the computer, things are going as well, or better than they did before...we just have to reload everything we had on before!

The baby has decided that he's constantly hungry, meaning that my boob is exposed to the world on a constant basis. To me, it's no big deal...that's how my son gets his nutrition, but other people don't quite see it the way I do. I actually was nursing Jake at Walmart today while waiting for Steve to get his hair cut. You should have SEEN some of the looks people gave me as they walked past. And it wasn't like I was totally nude....I was completely covered! Sheesh, people, get OVER it!

We've also hit prime vacation season around here. People are either coming to see us, or we're preparing to see other people. This weekend I'm going camping with my parents and aunt's family. Steve would join us, except he's saving his vacation days for when we venture to Arizona in a few weeks. Poor Cam is constantly asking whether he'll get to go to the Learning Center or therapy....some days we just don't know for sure.

We had a fun inspection today. (You can imagine that last sentence read with total and complete sarcasm!) Our landlord decided that today was the day to water the lawn for an extra 15 minutes, which means our garage/basement flooded. And all right before the inspector guy came. Uh, can we say winners in the brain department? :P

I do have a random question though....anyone have theories about "orbs" in pictures? At the luncheon following the funeral last Wednesday we were taking many group pictures in the gym. Now, we'd been taking photos all weekend long, and hadn't had any problems with the previous pictures, but on Wednesday....

Well, we had pictures like this: (which is a picture of my mom's family....all 12 siblings and their spouses....)

Can you see the orbs floating around?? Do you think it's supernatural, or just floating dust?? And just so you know, it wasn't just on our camera either....many many cameras had these floating spots on the pictures. Either way, we're all fascinated by these "orbs" here in my world!

Life should fall into a predictable pattern soon....I'm just trying to adjust for now!

The Hardest Part

With Grandma gone things have been going nonstop. We're trying to get things put together for her funeral tomorrow. I was recruited to pull together a slide show of pictures of Grandma for the viewing tonight, my mom and her sisters have been practicing their singing for the funeral, my brother-in-law and sister have been typing up the funeral program. We're getting exhausted!

These things we're doing for the funeral really aren't that hard though. The hardest part in all of this is my Grandpa. He has Alzheimer's and can't figure out why Grandma isn't around. The family has had to tell him over and over that she's died and try to console him. The problem is that he forgets that he's been told and can't understand why he can't remember. We have been showing him that picture I had posted on my last entry where he's crying next to Grandma's body....it tears him up to see himself, but not remember being there. He's in a constant state of shock.

We've tried to get his mind distracted by asking him questions about when he was younger, but sometimes....and only sometimes....he refuses to be distracted.

Losing Grandma is something I've come to terms with. I still miss her laugh and her sense of humor, but seeing my Grandpa lose his wife time after time is hard!

Circle of Life

This past weekend was quite a busy one for my family. It all started on Thursday when we realized that my Grandma F was WAY worse than anyone thought so soon. My mom called all of her siblings and encouraged them to come here to say goodbye as quickly as possible. Several left immediately and drove through the night to be here.

On Friday things started going even faster. My poor Grandpa F, who has severe short-term memory loss, couldn't understand why there was a hospital bed in his living room, or why all of his kids had come to visit when he hadn't planned on them coming. He also said over and over that he didn't know Grandma was SO sick.

Saturday morning I got a phone call from my mom. The hospice nurse had come in to check on Grandma and said that she was "actively dying." My mom said she wasn't planning on leaving and wanted me to call my sister and let her know what was going on. All throughout Saturday we got phone call after phone call that Grandma wouldn't last an hour, so we crowded into her tiny home so that we could be with her. My aunts and uncles started singing some of Grandma's favorite church hymns and almost instantly her dropping stats would rise.

We went through the cycle over and over. Tears, saying how much we love Grandma, singing, dispersing, laughing, telling stories, tears.

That night we stayed until late. Steve and I have been planning to bless Jacob in church and decided that no matter what we would follow through with the plan. The only change was the after-blessing luncheon was moved to Grandma's backyard.

Sunday morning we got things ready and went to church. All of us that went (which, with the number of extra aunts and uncles in town was quite a large number) took our cell phones with us....set on vibrate, of course.

Steve gave Jacob a beautiful blessing, and even got our nephew Jayden blessed. We had the sacrament and we'd started in on testimony meeting. I knew that things may move quickly, so I quickly got up and bore my simple testimony. Soon after sitting down, my brothers, mom and dad got up and left, whispering to other family members what was going on. My sister came over and told us that Grandma had breathed her last breath. Half of the congregation got up and walked out. (Anyone who was in my ward and saw our mass exodus, I hope you weren't offended....)

Steve and I hurried to Grandma's house where all of the male relatives were outside crying. Grandma had died around the time we had blessed Jake.
I was told that the women were dressing Grandma, and I was told I could go inside.

I'll never forget the look of loss on my poor Grandpa's face. He knew, absolutely, that his beloved Mona 'Dean was gone and he looked like he would be lost.

We dressed Grandma in her pretty pink dress and the younger granddaughters placed beautiful roses around Grandma.

It was a busy, sad, peaceful day. But I am truly grateful that I know that my Grandma's spirit is still alive and that she is now where my sweet Jacob dreams of.

Playdate at the Park

One of my oldest, bestest friends came to visit yesterday and we had quite a fun time playing at a local park. We even got together with a few other of our friends who live here locally. The kids played, we talked and laughed....it was an all around GREAT day! :)

Here's a small part of our group...some of the kids were playing and didn't join us.

Cameron wanted to take a picture, so he snapped this one of me with Jake. Not too bad...although I WAS grabbing for the camera!

And this is Cameron with his friend Jasmine. These two twerps were due to be born on the SAME day....Cam was born 10 days early, and Jazz was born 3 days late.