I went to a WONDERFUL women's conference at our church today. When I woke up this morning I was VERY tempted to stay home and sleep in, but I had canceled some other plans to go, so I got ready and went. I got to the chapel and ladies from my ward immediately squooshed on the bench to make room for me. I chatted with some of the people that I hadn't seen for a while and then the meeting started. Reading the program I thought it would be long and boring. I should really learn not to judge things by their covers! They had a main speaker from the local leadership who was the featured speaker, but he was last on the program. They had 3 musical numbers and four speakers who were before him. I hate to admit it, but I enjoyed the women who spoke more than the featured speaker. They spoke directly to my heart. I was so touched and felt the motivation to change myself to become more like them. It was so great. While I was at the meeting I finally felt the peace that I've been searching for.
I was invited to a wedding last night and I had a rough time accepting the marriage. This is my aunt's third marriage and I felt he was the biggest loser of all of her previous husbands. The thing is that a few years ago she lived in the same apartment building as we do, and one morning I got a frantic call from her to come and help her and bring someone with me. So I hurried upstairs to wake my husband up and we RAN down to her place. Long story short I saved her from being beaten up by this guy. He even tried to convince me that she was the one who was beating him up. Ever since then I've been struggling with her choice of this guy and my hatred of him. I know that I shouldn't be so unforgiving and stubborn, but I feel a protectiveness over her that is hard to ignore. I've been praying and praying for help to overcome my feelings for this guy. My aunt is constantly telling us that he's changed and that they are working together to fix their problems and that he's a completely different man. So when I found out that he was going to marry her I can't describe the feelings that I felt. I was so upset with her for going back to that loser and mad that he was still such a big part of her life. I finally have come to terms with the choices that she has made and I think I can finally forgive her husband and move on with my life. I've decided that I can't judge him. I believe that Christ atoned for everyone's sins and if I truly believe that then I have to give my aunt's husband the benefit of the doubt and hope and believe that he has truly changed and is responsible for his own actions. And today,at the meeting I went to,I felt the rest of that hatred that I was clinging to leave me. I can't describe the peace I feel. Forgiveness doesn't just feel great when someone forgives you, it can feel just as wonderful to forgive and release those burdensome feelings.
1 comment:
I commend you for your ability to forgive. I remember when you told me about that incident with your aunt and her boyfriend right after it happened. I also remember thinking to myself, "Gee, he sure sounds like a JERK!" I probably voiced my opinion, too. It says a lot about you when you can lift yourself above the anger and bitterness concerning the whole situation. You're better than that. Good for you.
ANYway, I told Mattsmom that I was feeling a little out of the loop since you two both attended RS events today. My ward or stake didn't have anything going. I just went to the tire store instead. Whoopdee-doo! I'll have to wait till the women's conference in April before I can to to a Saturday RS event. Sniffle, sniffle.
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