Why??

Why can't my boys stop fighting me on every request?

Why can't the two of them sleep in the same room at the same time without World War 3 breaking out?

Why doesn't the 3 year old understand that he can't do everything that his big brother can?

Why is it that I make too much money to be poor, but I'm too poor to be rich?

Why can't I seem to fall asleep when the rest of the world does?

Why can't I have a house?

It's because it's life, right? Things can't always be perfect, but I can keep on plugging along....at least, that's what I tell myself when I feel this pity party coming on.

Preparing to be a Missionary

This week was my turn for Sharing Time again. I was grateful. I actually ended up switching with the other councilor, because she was leaving town....and I had NO idea what I could do for next week.

Anyway, this week's lesson was about how we can prepare NOW to be a missionary. It helped a TON that we had a missionary speak and the high councilman spoke about missionaries. I took my lesson from this site. I did all the same things, except I didn't read ALL of their explanations. The kids loved it and educated me a bit as well. (*giggle*) Did you know that frying pans are to kill people with?? ;) Thanks, Tangled.

Anyway, I think it went well....and it was fun too. Now to unpack and put things back where they belong....that's MY problem though. ;)

Jake, In Real Life

I've been thinking about how different my two boys are. Cameron is a sweet boy (unless he's with his brother...) and is extremely shy. He is just now learning how to read. He is somewhat hard to understand if you haven't been around him (he slurs his words together, for example, "Family home evening" would be "famihomevening" coming out of his mouth). He loves basketball, and will do ANYTHING to play. He is always seeking out verbal approval from those around him.

Jake is very verbal himself. He can say things that Cameron can't. He is very inquisitive, and when he's super tired and doesn't want to sleep, he'll ask questions that he KNOWS will be answered. He makes up stories and has an incredible imagination. He is an all-around jock. He loves playing baseball, soccer, football, basketball....anything he can. He's even asked grandma if he can dig holes in her front yard so he can play golf. He is constantly busy and can just run circles for hours when he has nothing better to do.

Jake is SUCH the story teller. A few months ago, we went to a movie for family home evening. My parents took the boys (because the boys begged, and my parents are suckers for those little kids). On the way to the theater they passed a police car. Jake started his tale: "My daddy got pulled over by a police officer. He was speeding and got a ticket...." My parents asked us if that was true, and of course, it wasn't. But Jake can be very convincing.

Cameron loves to have very short hair. He complains loudly if it gets too long (he pulls it out on his own if I don't buzz it for him, so usually when he complains, I buzz both boys' hair.) Jake wants "long" hair. We've got school pictures coming up this Friday, and I want Jake to look nice, so I kept offering to trim around his ears. I kept promising him that I wouldn't buzz his hair off, but he kept turning me down. Finally, yesterday, I grabbed the scissors while he was in the tub and the whole time promising him I would be careful, and that I wouldn't hurt him, I trimmed his hair. But it was a HUGE fight.

Jake also loves to eat. He is always begging for food all day long. I swear, I feed the kid, but when you've got as much energy as this guy does, you burn through your food pretty quickly.

He's pretty independent as well. If you don't get right on whatever he asks, he tries to do it himself. I've caught the boy trying to run his own bath, climbing on a chair to get food out of the fridge, moving things, just because he wants to.

He's very different from his brother, but there's no one would would stand up more for Cameron in the whole world. Whenever Cameron gets in trouble, I get the wrath of Jake. He will come up to me, and in his deepest voice he will say, "THAT'S MY BROTHER!!" I try to calm him down by saying, "That's my son..." but my argument has NO validity with him.

He has a wicked sense of humor too. He will do things just to make us laugh. He pulls the best faces and knows he's funny.

What a fun boy I have in Jake. He's nothing like I would have expected to have when I first learned I was pregnant with him, but he's everything our little family needs. We really love, Jake.

A Work in Progress

Lately I have not felt like myself. I'm grumpy and angry at the drop of a hat. Yesterday was no exception.

I woke up early to watch the 9/11 things on TV (I am a 9/11 junkie, I watch so many shows about it and absolutely cannot get enough...) I was SO tired, neither of my boys went to sleep the night before until well after 10:30, and I was grumpy with having to deal with them all by myself.

Anyway, I laid on our comfy couch, snuggled under a blanket, and watched the show. A little ways into the show, the boys woke up. It was 7:00, and the boys were WIDE awake. I was still groggy and tired...even a little emotional, because of the 9/11 stuff, and they were needing a mommy.

I will admit, mornings are NOT my thing. I am a night-owl to the core. My boys, however, are early risers. Jake's justification to me has always been, "Mom, the sun is UP!" Yes, son, I know the sun is up, but that doesn't mean I have to be up.

So the boys are getting rowdy and I'm getting grumpier and grumpier.

Finally, I'd had it. I grabbed Jake, and took him upstairs. I was DETERMINED that he was going to get more sleep. (Anytime Cam would touch him, he'd whine and cry....I KNOW the boy was tired, he just didn't know it himself.)

I quickly fell back to sleep, but Jake did not. He laid in my bed for an hour. Finally he'd had enough, and wiggled and hit and kicked. He wanted out.

Anyway, I got upset, and so did Steve. At one point, Steve said, "FINE! I'll get up with the boys..."

Look, DUDE! I have been dealing with these children of yours all by myself for a VERY long time, and I have been awake with them, but this child needs more sleep.

If only I'd said that, right??

Instead, I got up with the wiggle-worm and went back downstairs where I got grumpier and grumpier.

Finally I decided that it was time for baths and took the boys upstairs to get ready for church. Generally, Jake goes first, because I can have him done REALLY fast, and dressed before Cam is even finished washing his hair.

I'm not even sure what exactly happened next, but Steve said something that set me off. I was looking through the clothes to get Jake dressed, and I had only found the boy's shirt and vest. I was in the midst of looking for his pants when Steve said whatever it was he said. I had it.....and I said so. I threw the clothes at Steve and said, "FINE! You get them (meaning the boys) I am DONE!"

Then I didn't look back...I went downstairs and took a time-out on my couch. I let Steve have FULL care of the boys.

When the boys came down, they were treading carefully. Jake came over and patted my knee. I did NOT move. Cameron looked like he wanted to ask me something, but he didn't. I just sat in my time-out and said NOTHING!

Then I realized something....the boys got dressed just fine without me harping on them for every little thing. They were happy, and I wasn't micro-managing every little thing.

At this point I realized: "The house is happier when we don't get angry and yell....it's best when I am quiet and listen."

Yes, a realization I should have had YEARS ago.....I have tried to be quieter since then, but I still have old habits that I need to break.....but I can do this. I can. I want a happier home and I'm sure my boys do too.

Never-Ending Cycle

School is back in session (has been since last week, but who's counting?) and life moves quickly. Jake has done his own "school" a few times and loves feeling like a big boy.

I'm a little frustrated though.

Bedtime has become my nemesis....yet again. Jake and Cameron fight EVERY single night. I'm losing my mind and just want to sit in the fetal position crying.

It starts out innocently enough. We do our bedtime routine: scriptures, brushing teeth, and prayers. Then I encourage BOTH boys, "Leave your brother alone. I do NOT want to see or hear from either of you for the rest of the night." The boys respond, "We won't. Good night...."

Then the brawling begins. Cameron hurts Jake, Jake screams bloody-murder, Jake comes bawling down the stairs, "Mom, Cameron hurt me..." I yell at Cam, Cam yells down the stairs and Jake screams a little more.

This repeats nightly.

I'm SICK of it.

I thought the bunk-beds were to blame. Whenever we'd send one boy to bed, the other would follow (usually after the first was sleeping peacefully) and shake the heck out of the bed, waking the other boy and causing a fight. So I took the bunks away. The boys have been sleeping on their mattresses on the floor all summer long. Finally, a few weeks ago, I got what I THOUGHT would be the perfect solution: a day bed with a trundle. No touching of beds at ALL! Unfortunately, I forgot that due to the size restraints, the beds are still only 3 inches apart. The fighting STILL happens.

I'm tired.....more importantly, my BOYS are tired. I wish I knew what to do to fix this situation, but I'm at my wits end and going more and more crazy each night. Tonight I just let Jake sit on my lap until Cameron fell asleep....it wasn't until after 10:00.

This is ridiculous. What more can I do? Why can't they just get along!?

Summer's Last Hurrah!!

Every Labor Day weekend, my family goes camping. It's kind of our own little family reunion of sorts. All of my aunts and uncles from my dad's side (well, with a FEW exceptions) goes hunting and camping on Labor Day weekend. We look forward to it every year.

A few years ago (when Jake was a baby) I was camping alone with my boys. I was trying to zip up our tent (the zipper was broken) and looked out to see a coyote just a FOOT away from my face. I screamed to scare the beast away and ended up scarring Cameron for life. The boy will NEVER forget the night we saw a coyote.

We almost double the size of the little city we camp at, but they love it.

This weekend will be our last summer hurrah. We won't be able to go camping after this....unless we want to freeze our buns off. We are going to eat SUPER yummy food (dutch oven ribs, chicken, cobbler...) and we'll laugh and have a good time.

The highlight of the trip for my boys is going shopping in Salmon. We hit up Kings and Alco and find some obnoxious or cool finds. The boys have already discussed what they HOPE to find.

All in all, it should be tons of fun. Enjoy your last little bit of summer before autumn really sets in. (And I get REALLY happy for the cool air and the pretty colors.)