Healing

I'm still healing from my wound. People are very concerned, and it's touching.

I haven't had to take pain pills during the day for QUITE a while (yay!) but I do take them when I go to bed, because I almost always inadvertently pull on it and hurt myself.

I'm healing in more than just the physical way though. I'm working on healing my toxic behaviors. I re-read the book, "How to Hug a Porcupine: How to Love Hard to Love Personalities." I LOVE this book, but it always reminds me of my own toxic behaviors. I want to work on loving my boys and husband just a little more and not criticizing them so much.

Unfortunately for both of my wounds, I'm a slow healer....this will be a long process.

A Visit to the Surgeon

I got the call this morning that I was to see the surgeon at 2:15 this afternoon. No problem....wait, a small problem....I am on strong pain meds, I'm NOT supposed to drive.....

I ended up staying off the meds, so I could drive myself, since I didn't have help today.

After dropping the boys off with my mom, I went to the office. I sat in the waiting room and filled out 5 pages of medical history. Then I sat and read through a full issue of People. I even read many stories all the way through.

An hour after I arrived (45 minutes past my initial appointment time) I was taken back and my vitals were taken. Then I was shown to a large examination room. I sat in there and waited by myself and WITHOUT reading materials for another 15-20 minutes.

The surgeon finally came in and asked me about what had been going on. I gave him a condensed version, and then he asked me to change into their paper shirt to be checked.

I waited another 3 minutes before he came back.

When he returned he was on his cell phone with another doctor discussing a man's treatment. He was talking about chemo and surgery and removing his colon.....all the while he was pulling out a long strip of packing that was inside of me, and causing me to call out in pain. (What I really wanted to do was scream loudly and interrupt his phone call....am I NOT important??)

Then he finished his call and told me that he wants the wound to heal and then he'll come up with a plan of action. See how much of the tissue is affected and where to go once we know more. He recommended that I not wear a bra for the next 2 weeks while it heals....um, no...thank you.

Then he bandaged me up (hello, I'm allergic to tapes and adhesives....oh, well, I'll just take it off as soon as I can....) and told me he'd see me in 2 weeks.

Yup, that's it. I spent a good chunk of my afternoon waiting for this man to tell me to hurry up and wait. *eye roll* Thanks for your PROFESSIONAL opinion.

I Saw a Doctor (Well, a Nurse, REALLY) Today

I was in excruciating pain today. I couldn't even lift up my arm to help out...it was bad. And last night the wound started oozing.....

I called my doctor's office multiple times and got NO answer. I had enough, so I went to a Redi-care (ER alternative, supposedly faster and better...) They were super busy, so I sat in the waiting room and slept for a half hour while I waited.

When the nurse called me back, I explained everything that has been going on. I mentioned that it began oozing last night. She told me that they'd have a doctor (who turned out to be an RN) come and look at it.

He was very nice. He apologized over and over for hurting me (I did cry.....and I always thought I was a tough gal...) I warned him that it was already oozing (when I'd changed into their gown I noticed LOTS of pus and crud....it was SO gross!) He was okay with it. He covered his face with a mask and his glasses (in case it REALLY decided to explode) and lanced it for me. The worst part was when he was packing gauze into the wound when it was all over, THAT really made me cry.

Then they put me on an antibiotic IV that I have to return to get for the rest of the weekend. I also have to get the packing changed out.

He gave me two prescriptions and I was done.

Thankfully, my parents had kept my boys with them the whole time. That was wonderful.

But things are starting to get fuzzy....I've taken my pain pill....so I'll leave it at that. More treatment is necessary, but I'm okay for now! :)

More on the Boobie Front

This will be TMI, so if you don't want to know, please stop reading now. Just a warning.

I called my doctor today. (Yes, I've been waiting for things to take care of themselves for 3 weeks.) The nurse told me that there are two options to help my poor, painful, purple/black boobie out: do hot compresses and ibuprofen OR visit a surgeon and have it taken care of surgically. Since I've already tried the cheap option (hot compresses and meds) I now have to do the more expensive/scary option. She said she'd try to find a time for me to see someone next week.

As much as I would LOVE the pain to be gone, I'm nervous about having surgery again. I've had multiple cysts taken care of, so I know it's not a big deal, BUT none of my previous cysts were THIS big or painful.

I'm a little scared.

New Update on Me

Remember a while back when I mentioned my lump on my breast? Well, it's gotten bigger, purple and WAY more painful. (Not that it was painful before, but now it hurts like a dirty-bugger!)

I keep trying to remind myself that it's nothing bad. No "C" word, but it does hurt. At first it was a mild annoyance. I would rub my arm against it and it hurt a bit. Now I can't even bend over.

It has grown to fill the bottom quarter of my boob and is an ugly purple. It hurt whenever it pulled against my skin, so I've taken to putting clothing between it and my chest.

I can't believe how much something so small can overwhelm my life.

I am in pain, but believe that if I leave it alone that it will eventually go away.

I'm highly tempted to just lop the darn thing off all together, but then I would look WAY funny.

Old Pictures

I LOVE looking through old pictures and laughing and remembering. They're so much fun.

Right now I'm in the middle of a huge project though: making a family picture book. Last night I got a CD with over 400 pictures on it, and none were cropped properly. I'm in the midst of cropping them right now. It's SO fun to see these pictures and wonder about what was going on in them. It's so true that every picture is worth a thousand words, but sometimes I wish I knew more of the story.

Just for fun, here's a few of the fun pictures I'm looking at:

What a huge, but FUN project!

Camping: Success

It worked, but not ideally.

Sleeping in the suburban was a bit of a feat. The inflatable mattress was too big to fit between the wheel wells, so I had to deflate it a bit, which means my hip bone was on the floor all night long. I guess the boys didn't care, both of them slept VERY well.

I got to spend time with my aunts and uncle that I don't see that often, it was SO much fun. They're all pretty funny and tell a good story.

The boys were thrilled to go fishing with Grandpa and Uncle Wes. The first night out Jake caught a fish (never mind that it was actually on my dad's pole, it was Jake's to reel in...) He was so thrilled that when he got back he came into the motor home SCREAMING, "MOMMY!! I CAUGHT A FISH!!!" He was so proud of that rainbow fish.

The next trip out Cameron caught HIS fish. He was less excited than Jake, but that's not hard to do. Both boys were completely satisfied with their fishing exploits. (My uncle told me that he LOVED having the boys go fishing with him and my dad, and that any time they want to go out, he'd be happy to go with them.)

This picture expresses BOTH boys' phobia of touching the slimy fish....*giggle*

On Sunday we took a road trip to my favorite of all pretty places: Wade Lake, Montana. It was a LONG drive there, but the scenery was absolutely BREATH-taking. The mountains with their snow capped peaks...the green fields, the rivers roaring along....absolutely BEAUTIFUL! We spent about 20 minutes at Wade Lake, enough time for my dad to sit in fresh dog poo, Jake and Cameron to go wading in the lake (and soak up their pants) and for me to drop my camera in the lake. Don't worry, all is well. It was so fun and just BEAUTIFUL!

Today we packed up and left. I was sad to see the weekend end, but was excited about the shower to come.

Tonight is the fireworks show, and I am debating on whether to go down there by myself and the boys or not. Usually I'd have my parents with me, but I just found out my mom had a nasty fall and has probably dislocated her hip. She and my dad are at the hospital....we haven't even had our annual 4th of July picnic. :( I hope she's okay.....my mom in even MORE pain would not be fun.

Update: I did end up going to the fireworks, I met Steve at work and we walked just to the off-ramp nearby. Even though it was through the trees the boys enjoyed the show. (And I wasn't by myself in the huge crowd...)

My mom is at home and recovering well. She didn't dislocate anything. (*whew*) BUT she did pull several muscles and is on some heavy-duty pain killers and riding around in a wheel chair. She should recover quickly. (*whew*)