Monday, April 21, 2008

Alzheimers? Dementia? Memory Loss?

This last weekend was quite a whirl-wind of events. (Part of the reason I was so ornery about NOT babysitting...I had plans!)
On Saturday, my grandpa received the highest award given to volunteers in scouting, the Silver Beaver. It's QUITE a huge deal. My grandparents have been calling their children for a few months trying to get a head-count on who can come and who wouldn't come. I had one uncle drive in from Sacramento, and another flew here from Minnesota. Because of this, we actually had planned some big family get togethers, which are some of the things in life I look forward to most! :)
Anyway, I went with my family to the scouting awards and was very impressed with the program. Several other high scouting awards were given out to scouts as young as 8. (And because I'm so hormonal, I cried....) They even acknowledged some scouts who blew the whistle on a huge molestation problem 10 years ago. Seriously, this event was HUGE!!
Anyway, they got to the Silver Beaver recipients, and it went off really nicely. My grandparents stood on the stage and just beamed! It was great!
After the ceremony, they had a reception area in the foyer where you could greet and congratulate the recipients. We worked our way out the doors, and met up with my grandpa. He was sitting on a little chair underneath his name. While we were talking, hugging, and congratulating him, he kept saying over and over, "I had no idea they were giving me this award. This was all a huge surprise."
WHAT!?
This is the same man, who less than a month ago was calling his children telling them about this award. He was the same man who repeatedly asked us if we were coming to his event. He absolutely KNEW about this. It was NOT a surprise.
But to him, it actually was. See, my grandpa's memory is gone. He remembers many useless facts, many stories from a LONG time ago, but he can't remember things from a few days, let alone a few minutes ago.
I'm very worried!
After his award ceremony, we went out to dinner with them. I sat right next to grandpa at the restaurant. We all looked over the menu, and grandpa kept saying, "I'm not very hungry, and this looks like it would be really big." So my uncle said, "Dad, why don't you order a kid's cheeseburger?"
Grandpa thought that sounded good and ordered one.
We sat around waiting for our food. It was probably only 10-15 minutes (we had a big group!) then came our food. The waiter tried to give Cameron grandpa's cheeseburger, but I quickly grabbed it and handed it over to grandpa. He looked at it, looked at me, and asked if that was what he'd ordered. We all assured him that it was his food. And then he said, "I am really hungry!"
He's actually been going downhill for a LONG time, but I just blew it off as being old, and not having many people around to tell his stories to. But recently, I've SEEN the downward spiral.
Again, I'm worried!
Then yesterday, we had all of the family around here get together at my mom's house for a big family dinner/party. We had a ball laughing, talking, telling stories, and just being together. During the course of the dinner the siblings (meaning, my grandparents' children) decided that they needed to address the issues with my grandparents. Their memory loss being the main factor in WHY something needed to be done. (My grandma has bad memory loss too, but hers isn't as bad as grandpa's!)
My mom asked me to keep grandma and grandpa distracted upstairs while she and her siblings went downstairs to talk. My cousins and I did a fairly good job of this, for a while. Then my grandparents started in on their, "Well, we'd better go," routine. At that point, they needed someone to drive them home (my uncle has been doing that while he's been staying at their house, and he was in the "meeting" downstairs.) So I hurried down the stairs (okay, so I waddled) and told the laughing siblings that grandma and grandpa announced that they were ready to leave. So in a quick minute, they decided that the meeting would be moved to a "quieter" location, my aunt's house. They grabbed grandma and grandpa and took them there to discuss their options.
I really wanted to know what was the outcome of the meeting, since I'm such a worrier, and waited for my mom and dad to get home. We ended up waiting for nearly 4 hours!! I told Steve that if they weren't back at my mom's house by 9:30, we'd leave, but they got back at 9:20!
The siblings, along with grandma and grandpa, decided on a few options and they're NOT going to be easy! But I do think they will be helpful.
My worry now is that grandma and grandpa will forget what they agreed to, and things will return to this state where no one quite knows what to do.
Growing old is NOT for sissies!!

8 comments:

stevie kay said...

Oh Dawnyel, that's rough stuff! I remember when we had to make the decision to put my great-grandma in a home and to put my grandmother in a home. It's so stressful. you want what's best for them and it's hard when you take care of them at their home so long and it finally comes to the point that they need full time care. Best wishes in this!

Deanna said...

This is tough stuff, and it's not for Sissies! My grandpa has parkinsons, and it hasn't been easy. Good luck with those difficult decisions.

Mattsmom said...

Tough stuff. Craig's Grandma has severe dimentia. When the time came for her to require full time care the family had to decide on the best place for her. Now she is in very good hands in a home environment care facility...where she can associat3e with her peers (as much as a person in her condition does). It actually ended up being the right decision for her...even though our hearts are broken that she doesn't remember us anymore.
There must be something we that are left with our memories have to learn from our loved ones in that condition.
I am so sorry you are going through this.

Kim said...

Man, that really sucks. I can honestly say that I know what you and your family are going through. It started out with the little things with my grandma too. My heart goes out to you and your family. You guys are in for a long haul. I hope everything works out for the best. What's going to happen with your uncle? Luvs!

The Cook Clan said...

Wow, that sounds like no fun. I'm sorry you guys all have to go through this. What a sad way to have to live.

The Cook Clan said...

I forgot to ask you, do you have anyone else on your blog that I know? I have a hard time looking through all those weird names. Thanks

Dawnyel said...

LOL, No, Bethany, I don't think you know anyone else...sorry!

CareBearMommy said...

That must be so hard. I remember seeing my grandma a few months before she died, and she didn't know who I was. she barely remembered my mom and my grandpa. It's hard to see the ones you love going through something like this. I wish the best for them, and the rest of your family too.