Because I'm not quite done complaining yet...
After posting on here last night, I checked my voicemail to see who I'd missed. The first unheard message was from my friend, L. (You remember her, right? The one I had to STOP babysitting for!?) Anyway, she was wondering if I wouldn't mind being her "back-up" babysitter. Are you KIDDING!? Uh, NO!! Now I have to find a way to tell her. Doesn't being someone's "back-up" mean that they could dump their kids on you without prior knowledge?? That's the problem I had with her BEFORE!! I'm dreading her next call (and I know her...she WILL call me again, and again...) Honestly, I'm so nervous about it, I dreamed about it ALL night long!! (Although, I DID sleep better!)
I also remembered something that can help put into perspective, what's going on with Cam. While I was back in the recovery room with Cam, my mom wasn't allowed in the room (too many parents in a cramped room...not good!) So she sat by a lady and her son who had been there before we got there. When Dr. S went to double check Cam's order, he waved at them. My mom, being who she is, sat down to talk. She found out that the lady AND her son both have NF1, and the son, who was almost 17, had a football sized tumor in his belly last year. It was the one that had turned nasty...fast-growing and cancerous! He had gone through the surgery and chemo, and they were there for an MRI to make sure he didn't have anymore! When I heard THIS story, I freaked!! This could be me! (It also might NEVER happen to me...) Just knowing that Cam has MORE tumors inside scares me. How am I to know now when he complains of a tummy ache that it's not just him being sick, wanting attention, or these DUMB tumors?? It's all a bit overwhelming, and frustrating too! I guess I'll just deal with this new thing the way I always have....deal with it, learn from it, and go ON with my life!
Update: And as a NEW feature to my blog, since NF1 is SO much a part of my life now...I've got links to information about NF1 in my sidebar.
7 comments:
I just tried to chat with you on MSN, but it was being poopy on my end and not letting my messages go through. GRR.... anyway, I just wanted to let you know that my thoughts and prayers are with you now. I'm glad that the MRI went as well as could be expected. I hope that Cam's tumors don't ever become cancerous, and that he'll be able to live a full and healthy life.
Good luck with L. I'd be freaking out about it, too. I hate telling people "No."
Hugs! You are a strong woman! Stay close to the spirit and that mommy 6th sense and you'll know if Cameron needs more treatment or looking at. Hang in there. You're a toughie!!
wow! I've been catching up and that's a big awful-ness. I'm glad Cam is fine, hopefully he always will be!
Good luck figuring everything out.
Doesn't your Grandma have this too? Or am I totally messed up? Anyway, if she actually does, she has lived a long happy life and Cam will too. It's hard to be the mommy though, I feel your pain.
As far as "L" goes, you just need to tell her that it is too taxing on you and you just can't babysit anymore. Remember you have the right to say no!! :) Be strong! Good luck.
elena, yeah, Grandma F does have NF1, but her tumors went away after a blessing. (How cool is that!?) And she wasn't ever diagnosed officially until 6 years ago (I think...) Cameron didn't get it from her tho...for THAT my mom and I both would have to have it, and we don't! So his was a mutation!
I feel so bad right now. It is so unfair for a kid to have to go through that things that Cam has to go through. I am so grateful that those tumors are not nasty right now...and I pray that they never ever will be. I pray that Cam will have a miracle similar to your grandma's miracle. Cam is such a strong kid to be able to keep it as together as he does during these trips.
I know you, and I know that you are such a strong person and that you can handle all of the trials that you are given, but right now I am just crying for you...IT'S NOT FAIR. Please know that if things get too hard to handle I am here to talk...pink frosted cupcakes in hand. I love you!
(((hugs))) You are so awesome. I don't know how you can deal wtih all the stuff you do-- BUT YOU DO. That makes you a hero.
Thanks for the linkage, it is very helpful.
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