What do you do when little things rub you the wrong way? When something that shouldn't bother you completely throws you off kilter!? I'm feeling very out of sorts lately, and I can't figure out why!
For example:
Today I took Cam to therapy, sat down in the waiting room, and proceeded to read a magazine that was lying around. As I'm getting into some really interesting articles, another client comes into the building with his mom (or maybe it was his van driver...I really couldn't tell...) Anyway, the therapist that was supposed to be working with the little boy starts up a major conversation with the mom. Now, there are signs all over the waiting room that say something to the effect: as a courtesy to our staff and clients please keep the noise level in the waiting room to a minimum. I'm constantly getting after Cam to keep his voice quiet, so he doesn't bother others. Anyway, this conversation between the therapist and the mom gets louder and louder. Pretty soon I'm having a really hard time concentrating. Now, I realize that those signs AREN'T there for my personal quiet-time, but come on! The conversation lasted for 25 minutes! TWENTY-FIVE MINUTES!! Therapy sessions only last 45! The poor kid got back to the room with just enough time to play and therapize (yes, I know it's not a REAL word...) for 15 minutes! Geez! Talk about being unprofessional! I just wanted to lay into them...telling them that they're not being paid to gossip, but I held it all back! I was so thoroughly annoyed that I had to complain about it to Steve. He tended to agree with me, which makes me think I should have said something about it, but it was a bit late for that! I don't know why it bothered me so much, but it did!
Today wasn't the ONLY time little things have been annoying me lately. There have been other things. Like when my sister was visiting for the weekend, and she said an innocent comment that just got me all annoyed and bothered! Cam is a boy! (I know, it came as a shock to me too!) And little boys are not known for the best potty behavior...anyway, he missed the hole in the toilet, and my sister came up to me, patted me on the shoulder and said, "Cam's mama, you need to teach him to clean up after himself when he goes to the bathroom..." WHY did this bother me!? I should teach him! Maybe it's the fact that my sister is such a neat freak...or the fact that she doesn't have any kids and acts like she knows what's best...whatever the situation...it bothered me when it shouldn't have.
Or what about when I got Cameron's psychological test results that said he was "mentally retarded," and his teacher confided in me that she thinks the results were wrong? Why does it bother me that the school is now labeling my son with that term? And why does it bug the heck out of me that the test results may be wrong? And why does it bug me that after I realized the results may be wrong that the psychologist isn't getting all over re-testing him? WHY!?
And why do little babies crying for no good reason just make me crazy? It used to not bug me so much, but now I want to fix it and make it all better! When I can't control things I just go crazy!
What is my problem!? Am I getting OCD...really bad? Sometimes I feel like I have PMS, but it's NOT time for that...or is it!? Oh, well. Go ahead...tell me to get over these things...I'll accept it...but in the mean time I'll be constructing a post in my head complaining about how THAT bothers me too!
6 comments:
You are sooooo not at fault for being upset about the testing results for Cam...you are the only Mama bear he has, so you go protect him! He is way to young to be slapped with that and what ever they tell you, it will follow him all through school. You will have teachers saying "Oh I just can't handle that in my class, I've got x,y,z already...so he can't take this class." He will be overlooked and unchallenged with that diagnosis. That's why you are upset. And do not sign anything with that diagnosis, or in agreement unless you do! No one else knows your kid like you do! Go Mama Bear! Fight!
For the others - You were irrated with the chatty Kathies because you know that kids needs his therapy time, obviously neither his mother nor his therapist really care that much, and that is so sad.
For the rest, I suspect you are being a little sensitive right now particularly where Cam is concerned. That's a lot to deal with and of course you are feeling protective.
With your sister, what you need to do is file that away for future use, lol. Payback is sweet...
Talk about raging hormones! Boy, am I glad I'm like 700 miles away.... okay, j/j. I'm sorry that you're having sensitivity issues. But, they are for GOOD reasons. Any time my kids come into play, people had better be prepared for me to turn up the heat! You being worked up like that is a sign of a good parent.
And I agree with the pp..... payback IS sweet. Save this memory for your loving, sweet, kind sister.... and give her a big ol' dose of it when SHE has kids.
And you just go ahead and rage for a while. I'm not gonna tell you to get over it. I might call you later today though. (I did yesterday, but you weren't home.)
Could you be depressed? I know that when I was dealing with ppd, I couldn't handle anything. My husband asking me what was for dinner threw my whole mindset off. All of a sudden he hated my cooking, I was a rotten wife and mother and I couldn't do anything right. All he really wanted to know is what smelled so good.
I also stewed on things too long. I would let them eat at me and I would dwell on things much more than they needed to be. I couldn't clear my head and I felt like my brain was in a cloud. I couldn't move past anything. I lost my temper at everything and everyone. I just sat on the couch all day and I couldn't get off it to play with my kids. I let it go too long and I became indifferent. It got really bad and a good friend told me that if I didn't make an appointment to go to the doctor, she was going to make it for me.
You have been dealing with a lot. Our brains will do what they need to to deal with a situation and they don't always bounce back the way they should. You could be chemically off right now.
I hope I don't upset you by suggesting this, but I read a lot of myself in your post.
I don't want to tell you to get over it either, I just want you to be able to cope and handle things.
E-mail me at Blackeyedsue2atgmaildotcom.
The whole thing at the therapists does sound annoying. If it happened again I would speak to the receptionist. (But I'm passive aggressive)
As for the potty thing. It sounds like your sister was being a little condescending. So I think you have a right to be bothered.
If you think they should retest him you should try to get them to do it. Then you'd feel better knowing that you did.
My in-laws have that same tendency to mouth off about stuff under the guise of "being helpful" or "just passing along good advice." My sister-in-law will actually clean my shower before she'll use it because it's not hers or her mom's and therefore it's "not clean enough." So yeah. That's buggy. You're not off the mark.
Same with the therapy and Cam's diagnosis. I'd get in there and talk to his caregiver about that. Like Shelly said, that will follow him throughout his life.
Maybe you need a break from the babies.
Thank you, all! Your support means SO much to me! I can't say how much better I feel, just venting this to the world. You've all given me a lot to think about, and I feel blessed to have such a wonderful ring of friends! :)
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