Okay, I've got a couple of gripes that I HAVE to get off my chest. It just hit the fan today and I don't know how to deal with either problem.
Problem Number ONE:
Today at school Cameron hit a little girl. Normally that in and of itself would be a HUGE problem, but there is more that just makes it worse in my mind.
The teacher caught it and disciplined him appropriately, but his in-class aide missed the whole thing because she was helping another child. UH! Why is she even there if she's NOT doing her job? She is supposed to be there to keep Cam on task so that he doesn't get distracted and doesn't disturb (let alone hit) other kids. I can understand that she may have been distracted for a while, but IT'S HER JOB! UGH!
Should I confront her about it? Or should I just let it go until something like this happens again?
Problem Number TWO:
Today was my crazy babysitting day (I had three kids to watch ON TOP of Cam...two of which are teeny babies.) Anyway, I had to start my morning bright and early, 5:30, and for at least two of the kids my job was to end around 1:00 that afternoon. Not a problem...if it had worked out that way...
Luckily Steve has had the last two Thursdays off and has been able to walk Cam to and from school...then I don't have to worry about how I'm going to get him there. But I'm still stuck watching a two-year-old who is VERY much into the "terrible twos" stage, a fairly content 3-month-old who only needs attention when he's hungry or poopy, and a very clingy, demanding one-month-old who wants to be held CONSTANTLY. I deal with the screaming from the baby J (the one-month-old) by letting him scream it out for the half hour or so that I'm caring for baby E (the three-month-old.) Little L (the 2-year-old) is pretty content to play with toys, making a mess, or watching cartoons. She does demand a sippy every once in a while, but she's pretty easy to care for.
What really frazzles me is when all three are demanding things at once. I can go from organized and collected to at my wit's end within seconds. (I had a bad breaking point today...just about killed anyone who crossed my path for those few minutes.) So, I've had a rough day, and to make things worse, the dad who is supposed to pick up his kids at 1:00 IS NOT THERE!
My friend told me when she dropped her kids off this morning that the plan was for him to get a ride from work to pick up the truck at his wife's work. Then he was going to come and get the kids after that. So he should be there around 1:00, 1:15 at the latest. I was looking forward to just watching J and Cam....2 kids would be HEAVEN after the day I had experienced.
Well, one o'clock comes and goes. No problem, right. I rationalize in my mind that he may have hit traffic. I think to myself, "I'll wait until 1:30...if he's not here to get his kids by then I'm calling his cell phone." I feel like I should give people the benefit of the doubt, because things come up, and it's expected that out of the ordinary stuff will happen...I can understand that.
So when he's still not there at 1:30 I call him. He gives me this story that the person who was supposed to get him from work couldn't come...they had other things going on. Okay, I can understand that, but where are you? Then he tells me that he ended up catching a ride with someone he works with, but the guy speaks minimal English, and C, the dad, speaks minimal Spanish. He tells me that he was BARELY able to give the guy directions to his home, let alone directions to a babysitter's house. UH! You couldn't give him directions to get your truck? He sounds sincere, but I'm beginning to think that this is just his way of getting away with leaving his kids with someone else so he can sleep. Granted, the guy has just gotten off a 12 hour shift, but what about me? I expected MY work day to end when he got there at 1:00, now he's telling me it'll be longer? At this point I'm MADDER than I've been in a LONG time, but I keep my cool, and tell him I understand.
Then C goes into this story about how he's just talked with his wife. She's not feeling good, he says, and she'll be getting off work early, and will pick up the kids when she gets off. She'll be there SOON! Okay, that means I only have to watch them for a short while until she gets there. I say good bye and hang up, waiting for L to pick up her kids.
She normally gets off work at 3:00...she got to my house to get the kids at 3:30! THAT'S NOT EARLY!! She apologizes and apologizes, telling me that she's upset with her husband. We discuss that he's probably using all this as an excuse, and how it's really not fair to me. She tells me that I need to tell C my feelings, letting him know that if things don't change soon, I'm going to have to stop watching their kids. She totally understands my frustration, and she's even sharing it, but her husband JUST DOES NOT GET IT!
So here's my dilemma:
I love watching these kids...I feel like they're my own kids most days. I love my friend L...she totally gets what I'm going through, and sympathizes with me. I want to continue to help out my friend, but I'm not getting through to the husband.
All I want is some respect.
I want things to work out so that if I'm told my day will end at 1:00, it WILL! I just want them to be honest with me...when they tell me something I want it to happen the way I was promised. Is that too much to ask? How can I deal with this husband who doesn't understand my predicament?
I'm tempted to tack on an additional charge...$5 for each hour over what they've told me. It seems mean, but I feel like it's my only option. I'm pretty much letting them use me as it is. I'm only charging them $80 a month...for 2 kids! I'm feeling used, and it's not fair that he's using me to get what he wants.
What do you suggest I do? Right now I'm going to take a Midol, eat my delicious chocolate ice cream, and fume some more. HELP!
8 comments:
If it were me, I'd totally charge them extra. Maybe it'll make the point if it hurts their pocket books. If that didn't work I'd tell them to find someone else.
I'm sorry you had a bad day today!
I'm sorry to hear about your rotten day. I hope things get better for you. And, you should TOTALLY charge 5 bucks extra for each hour they go over. That way, you won't be getting used and taken advantage of so much. I've learned that with being a nice pushover, you might as well put a big ol' sign on your forehead saying "use me." People will see it, ahd they will do it. Good luck! (BTW... I enjoyed chatting with you yesterday on the phone. We should do that more frequently!)
I think you are totally being taken advantage of. I live in Boston and at day care centers here there are hefty charges (I'll check but I think I've heard $1 per minute that you are late). They are your friends but it is also your business and if they can't respect that, find another family that will respect that (and charge them the going rate).
By the way, I really enjoy your blog! :)
Hi! It's me visiting again. :)
Sorry you had a frustrating day. Just from what I read, it does seem like they are taking you for granted. Sometimes the only way to really make people aware of their actions is to hit them where it will hurt most - their pocketbook. You are being very generous charging only $80 a month for good care of two kids. It might be worth it to bring it up. If he's really cheap, maybe just the threat of him will be enough to make him stop wasting everyone's time. I wish you much luck.
I was right! My friend has a child in day care in the Boston area and is charged one dollar each minute she is late picking him up.
I admire you for helping, and know what it is like to be in your shoes.
It is completely reasonable to charge them extra for the hours that they go over.
I would call some day-care centers around you and find out what the rate would be for a child of those ages and sit down with C (right?) and lay out how good of a deal they are getting. I would even consider $7.50-10.00 per hour over (you ARE watching 2 kids) because your day is planned around that pick-up time. If that still doesn't do the trick (I'd give it 2 weeks to change...and tell him that), then tell them as much as you love them, they CANNOT use you, and they will have to find someone else...your last day is XXX.
You agreed to be their babysitter, not their (his) doormat.
Good luck!
This was interesting to read today (late). I am supposed to be done work at 4 pm on Fridays. I told the sitter that although I'm done at 4:00, optimistically I can pick her up by 4:30. Today I didn't get there until 4:40! I felt terrible. She charges $25 a day and I was paying today for last week and this week so I just gave her $55 instead of $50. She didn't bat an eye about it. I hope I was being fair. I try not to be late I really do but with my work it is unpredicatable. I am glad/hope that I won't have to pay $1 for each minute late I am.
Oh and, I think charging extra is totally fair!
Wow, I think there are some serious issues with that dad. I can see that you are upset because I sure would be.
I hope things will work out for you.
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