Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Love Story, Part 11: The Doubts

May 1999:
To be completely true to my love story with Steve, I must admit that after a month and a half, I began doubting what I had been feeling. Chalk it up to hormones, PMS, whatever, but I was finding myself irritated at EVERY little thing he was doing. I thought, perhaps, I wasn't really in love with the man, but rather the idea of being in a relationship.
I took some time away from Steve and spent my time pondering and praying about whether what I was doing was correct. I wondered if that thought I'd had the first time I saw him was correct, or if I had made the whole thing up.
During this time, my eyes wandered, and I found myself thinking more and more about another guy in the Institute choir. (And yes, I still remember his name, but I don't want to mention it, because really, he wasn't THAT important of a character in this story.) One rainy day, he offered me a ride to my dorm room. I found that I was comfortable with this other guy, being around him gave me butterflies in my stomach and I quite enjoyed his company as well. The only difference? My thoughts were NOT on the conversation, I was thinking about Steve. After this guy dropped me off, I again began thinking about my situation, and I prayed again. The answer was pretty clear, not a lightning bolt or something that shocked me....I knew that my path with Steve was the correct one. I also knew that if he ever asked me to marry him, I would tell him yes, even though I HAD been planning on going on a mission, I would chose him over everything else.

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