Thursday, August 16, 2007

WHY?!

It didn't take much to put me back into my "why me" funk. It's been building for a while.
I've been off of my regular meds, and waiting for the mail to come containing them stinks sometimes. Because I'm off of my medications, my body has been thrown for a loop!! Currently, I'm awaiting a visit from af. Let me tell you, this cycle is HUGE!! I usually go between 28 and 35 days on my cycles, but this one is on DAY 53!!! I'm going insane!! Add to this that it seems like everywhere I go someone is either pregnant or having babies. UGH! I just want to crawl into a hole and cry!!
These last few months have been some of the best for me! I was finally feeling peace with my family. I was HAPPY that I had a son, and that if nothing more happened to my little family, I THOUGHT I would be fine, but I was wrong!!
I'm the only one of my high school group of married friends who only has one child! I've been married for nearly 8 years, and I'm feeling like a loser! Why is my body betraying me this way?? Why can't I easily conceive like so many other women/teens??
I hate feeling this way, but I WISH there was some way I could easily dismiss these depressing feelings, and get back the peace I had not that long ago. I hate to whine, but I feel like I'm going to explode!!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I know you have told me, but I can't remember. Did you have a hard time getting pregnant with Cameron? I am so sorry it's not happening easily for you. I know there is nothing anyone can say, and especially from those of us with more than one child. But just know that my prayers are with you. And as for your losing weight business, my sister-in-law who is a tiny size 6 can't conceive either and they have no idea why. So, I really don't think size matters, it's just a trial some people are "blessed" with. Hang in there and remember to focus on Cam for now. HUGS!

Sketchy said...

Oh sweetie. You're not alone. I just wanted you to know that. I know it feels that way sometimes, but you're not.

(((Hugs)))

CareBearMommy said...

I just wanna come over there and give you a big hug. I had fun talking to you on the phone the other day, but I'd so much rather do it in person.

BTW... have a fun, safe trip to Round Mountain.

Melzie said...

I'm trying to convince Joe to move down there... It's actually semi-serious. If it happens, we'll form a club. Yuppers. :) Oh, I'm on YAZ now, and I hate it. Doc appt in a month over that.