Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Parent Trauma

Doing double duty at school is exhausting! I mentioned to Cameron's teacher on Monday (when I was there helping) that if she needed I could help out on Wednesdays, now that I'm not babysitting on them anymore. She was thrilled beyond words. Up to that day (mind you, it's the end of the first trimester) no one had volunteered to help out with the centers on Wednesdays. So she quickly switched me from Mondays to Wednesdays and asked that I start this week, if possible.
Now, don't get me wrong, I LOVE working in my son's classroom...I feel way more connected to what's going on than anytime before. BUT, working with little kids who don't really want to do what they're supposed to is hard! There was one little boy who was SO distracted by the workers who are putting brick on the building I was sorely tempted to move him to the other side of the table where he couldn't see what was happening outside. Another little boy wouldn't do anything unless I was sitting RIGHT next to him. On top of these uncooperative kids we have the chatty little girls, who have to tell you a MILLION things before they do their work, those who would rather joke around and play, and then the fact that today was a short day. Every Wednesday is a short day in this school, makes both teachers and students hurry, hurry, hurry!
As all of the kids left to go to recess and then the library I sat and just vegged. Mrs. K came in and talked with me about how Cam has been doing in her class. He's a smart kid, but he is HIGHLY distracted. She was telling me that most of what they're learning in reading is going OVER his head. I figured that much, but then she said that maybe he would benefit from going to the DACC program. Everything in my body refused to allow this thought to process. I don't want him to fall behind socially, and that's the main reason I keep him in his regular class, but when his aide, Amber, isn't around he doesn't learn anything.
So here's my dilemma, should I keep him where he is (I feel he's doing just fine) and maybe tutor him more at home, or should I put him where I know he's learn more, but may suffer socially. Oh, the trauma of being a parent! I have a feeling that I need to get the kid tested for ADHD (just a recent thing that one of the many doctors he's seen recommended...) and I don't really know where to go for THAT, but oh, I'm just frustrated right now!

10 comments:

nikko said...

I feel your pain. I have thought many times about ADHD and my oldest, who cannot concentrate to save his life. It is an hours-long trauma to get him to do one sheet of homework. And, our morning routine consists of us reminding him every 2 minutes what he needs to do next. Ugh.

Go with your gut. If you think he's fine then just leave him where he is. :o)

Anonymous said...

Thats a tough one. Go with your gut, I totally agree with Nikko :)

Anne/kq said...

I think you need to take it one step at a time. If you think he's doing okay, then make that decision-- unless he stops doing okay, then be ready to change your mind. I guess what I'm saying is, be flexible. You just have to do what will work for HIM, not what the teacher or anyone else (or even you) would prefer. You do such a great job. I know you'll continue to make the right choices for him. :) Good luck!

Amanda said...

I agree with what anne/kq said. Do what is best for him, not what everyone else thinks might be best for him. Use your prayer bones as my mom always says. You are a great mom, he is so lucky to have you!

Millie said...

So many geniuses were children who were labeled negatively... hate to see what life would be like now if they'd been given Ritalin.

Fight, fight, fight.

Anonymous said...

Being a parent is the hardest thing you'll ever do...and I am just at the begining, so I really can't give you good advice on this subject. I do think that maybe you were supposed to quit babysitting L and E so that you can give more of your time and attention to Cam. Tutoring him might be a good step to helping him stay caught up...(but at the same time it will be really hard since most kids have about as much attention span for learning at home as a mushroom)! When my little bro was entering into the first grade he couldn't even count to 7...so my mom took him to the school after hours and during the summer to tutor him. Being in a classroom helped him to focus. At any rate I think that you are a good mom, and that you will succeed whatever you decide!

Anonymous said...

I've seen medication be hugely and highly successful within a classroom setting. I was a huge skeptic before I actually started teaching, but saw some positives in a few kids. I don't know what the reaction is to the meds within a home setting though.

I would actually vote for you working with him first...if you aren't able to see results that way, at that point I would consider your other options.

Ultimately, you'll know what is best...good luck.

Mama D said...

I think you should try the tutoring at home thing before anything else. That may help. If he has to join the other class are there some other activities he can do at other times which would allow him to get the social time he would need? What do I know? Just making suggestions.

Anonymous said...

First I have to laugh. LOL!!! At you and teh kids-- thought running through my head, "A parent who gets it!!" (I had parent/teacher conf's today, blah)

About the ADHD... here's my 2cents. I think as long as you aren't pushing that kind of label on a 2 or 3 yr old- and she/he's old enough to have outgrown the "terrible two's" then it's something that can be quite beneficial. My sister just went through this- something she dreaded, and refused to handle. Finally I persuaded her- and now, a month later, and med's at the right amounts- she's so overwhelmed at what a different child he is. In a good way.

Pray, clear your mind... sit and think-- you'll know what to do-- whatever choice is best for you and your son and yoru husband- as you are all effected by this.

Sketchy said...

Wait a minute. The only options you have are full time classroom setting or full time special ed? They should be able to offer him a better program than that. What has been a good fix for my daughter was mostly fulltime classroom and then during reading groups or other times they separate out anyway, she would go to a Reading specialist and other therapists.

You need to get more information before you agree to anything. It's tough I know sometimes I get whiney about what "normal moms" get to be blissfully ignorant of. But since I would never trade my kids, really educating yourself is the best thing you can do to advicate for them.