So today I realized, I'm not a mean person. Because of this lack of mean-ness, my little scouts (who by the way are seriously obnoxious ALL the time) walk all over me. On top of this, I've had a complaint about one scout feeling extra picked on. He feels so bad that he often doesn't want to come to scouts. When I got the call from his mom about this, I really badly wanted to say, "You know, all of the boys pick on each other, it's a normal boy thing. But your son actually is one of the worst offenders!!" What I really said was something to the effect, "Uh, I think they all pick on each other equally, I haven't noticed it."
So at our weekly den meeting this week, I was extra sensitive to the boys being nice to one another.
As usual though, things quickly got out of control...boys calling one another names (weird ones that they made up), saying rude things, not following directions, being blatantly disrespectful (you know, the normal 8-9 year old boy stuff!) I didn't want to cause a huge disruption, but I had to address the crap they were doing. I calmly (or so I thought) reminded the boys that they were in the church, and that they should behave themselves. Well, the one boy who is usually the ring-leader of the rowdies said something sarcastic, and I asked him if he wanted me to write a letter to his "mommy." He instantly jumped on "mommy," and was ignorant again. So I asked him to come talk with me in the hall. Our talk didn't go over SO well. I think I ended up making him feel extremely guilty. What my intention was to get the ringleader to be more accepting and NICE, and maybe the other boys would follow suit....I don't think I did that!
Now I'm worried that HIS mom will call me and tell me that I've hurt HIS feelings. Which was NOT my intention!
*sigh*
Why did they put me in charge of these boys?? Do I need to learn to be mean??
Our plan for next den meeting is a lesson on manners....my partner is taking the reigns on that one....she's a former school teacher and can get these boys to do ANYTHING! She says she feels like the bad guy, but I think they just respect her more than they do me!
6 comments:
oh my goodness!! I would be livid. One of my pet peeves is manners and respect. Here's hoping a little meeting will help!
Wow - you are a trooper. Hang in there. My mom has the same calling, and the same problems - only it escalated into a fight...in the church! Yes, two boys were throwing punches and the others chimed right in...my mom had to break it up! It has taken a long time to resolve, but in my mind you're on the right track and did the right thing. I wish you luck in your next meeting...:)
Good luck! Cub Scouts is definitely not an easy calling. Hope the manners lesson goes well.
It is tough at this age. But maybe it would help if you had a den meeting about the problem. Ask the boys for their ideas and what the rules should be and what the punishments should be and then hold them to it. At this age they're just trying to find their way into social acceptance, but they will respond if you provide them with firm guidelines about what is and isn't OK. Remember what they are really hoping for with their teasing and putdowns is they will be accepted. If you show them that bad behavior is not going to be accepted they'll turn it around.
Sorry if I sound lecture-y, this is a bit of a sore subject for me. I've seen youth groups that were really really good and then I've seen ones like mine that unfortunately were not. And those stigmas can effect people for the rest of their lives as well as give them hurdles to overcome within the church.
See how much of a sore subject it is for me, lol, I didn't even read all the way to the end of the post! I thought I did though if that counts.
I'm glad you're planning the meeting!!
Just remember, you have to earn respect. Being mean isn't the end all. I have kids calling me all sorts of names in teh beginning, some still. BUt you know what? Today when we wentinto DQ to get blizzards, the girl ringing me up was a student of mine, this is our second year- and she said it's on teh house. The same girl I've written up several times, and we've had our run ins.
It'll come, being mean doesn't make you evil. Just makes you the adult. :)
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