Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Feel Like Rubbing It In??

I can't even believe that someone would do that, but it's true.
Here's the background story:
My brother-in-law, Andrew, and his girlfriend, C, are pregnant. They had their big ultrasound on Monday. You know, the one that tells you whether it's a boy or a girl?
Now the story with Andrew is that he and C don't have ANY plans at this time to get married. We all voice our disapproval to him whenever we talk to him, but it's not like we're going to change his mind.
Andrew and C found out that they are going to have a little boy. At the beginning of next year Steve and I will have a new little nephew in our family. We are MORE than thrilled about this baby boy, but we are frustrated with his parents' choices.
My background story:
Steve and I have been trying to get pregnant for the past 5 years!! FIVE YEARS is a LONG time!! Let me tell you, I measure most of the last 5 years in negative pregnancy tests. I can tell you how heart-breaking it is to see a single pink line....60 TIMES!! I've gotten to the point where I'm literally AFRAID to pee on a stick! I will avoid it at ANY cost!! ANY COST!!
Within those last 5 years, I've had many MANY growing Spiritual experiences. I will share one with you now, but please don't think that because I'm sharing it I take it lightly, because it's VERY special to me. To show you my FULL frustration, I feel that I need to share it. During one experience I felt VERY strongly that I will have more children, and one child in particular stood out. It was a beautiful little boy, and his name is Jacob. This little boy WILL come, someday, but I have to wait. I KNOW that his name is Jacob, and I have plans (that Steve is FULLY aware of) to name our next son, Jacob.
Final piece of background information:
Steve and Andrew are the ONLY children in their family. It's just the two of them....no other siblings!
When Andrew told Steve the news about his baby, Steve asked him what they plan on naming this new little boy. Andrew told Steve that they won't tell his name until after he is born. Which is FINE! In fact, if I had Cameron's ultrasound to do over, I wouldn't have told Steve's parents the name we had chosen....because of their input we named him Cameron....NOT Matthew like we had wanted!
ANYWAY, while Steve was talking with Andrew I very loudly said, "Don't pick Jacob!" Steve asked him if he heard me, and he said he had, but then he paused and said, "Too bad!"
*rub rub*
They have been considering that name!! In fact, from the sounds of it, it was the name they WANT!!
Andrew has heard my experience with Jacob, he knows my feelings about it, but chooses to be a stubborn idiot!!
His blatant refusal to leave this name for us feels like he's rubbing my face in the fact that he and his girlfriend are pregnant, but I and Steve are NOT! I just want to cry!! It FEELS like this person, who, in his own disregard for ANYONE'S feelings, has stomped on my heart!!
The thing is, even if Andrew and C name their son Jacob, I will STILL use that name for my next son! So the children on that side of the family will be Cameron, Jacob, Jacob! I don't really care!! It was my name first, and he can just go take a flying leap!!

8 comments:

Kim said...

Isn't it interesting how our hindsight is 20/20 when it comes to things we "thought" we wanted? I think you know what I'm talking about. Of course, I have seen Andrew's stubborness first hand and in my opinion, I think he was just acting like a little snot and trying to tick you off (other words came to my mind, but I'm trying to keep your blog rating below an "R"). Hang in there.

Anne/kq said...

You know what, I am with you on this! We told my in-laws that our first boy would be James, and we don't really care if they named their baby James, we would still use James (just to give them fair warning.) They went ahead and named the baby James. So when we get our boy there will be two Jameses in the family. And you know what? I don't really care. We intend to call him "Jimmy" anyway and they don't, so that is just that. Just make it clear that if they choose Jacob there will be two-- and leave it at that. If it happens, so be it!

Suzanne said...

Yes, what Anne said exactly! In fact, one of you might keep the long version of Jacob and the other might just just "Jake". I feel for you. What a rough situation!

I've had my girl name picked out for years and my family knows I will *kill* them if someone takes it before I do! LOL!

Maybe they will change their mind last minute. You can only hope...

P.S. The word verification starts out with "son". :D

One Scrappy Gal said...

In all fairness to your brother-in-law, if I had a name that I absolutely loved, I wouldn't let anyone stop me from using it. No one. I wouldn't let anyone "save" the name. They can name their kid whatever they want, just like I'm going to. I'm sure he's not picking it to hurt your feelings or anything, and if he is, he's a rotten bastard. He might change his mind before the big day, and if he doesn't, I think Cameron, Jacob and Jacob would be a funny family story.

I do not tell anyone the names I picked until after the kid is born. I don't want to hear any "I had a dog named Sammy" "I was beaten up by a boy named Alex" "There's a stripper at the club I go to named Sammy Shammy..." You get the idea. Best to make up outrageous names as names you are considering (I told my brother I was considering "bistec" (steak) and "mofongo" (another spanish dish) and he finally got the hint and stopped asking me. :)

When I find out the gender, I don't share that either. I just tell people I don't know what I'm having but it's 50/50. :)

Melzie said...

You know... I don't know if I shared the story about Joe's middle sister.. she did the very same thing to us. However, of course much is different. But, she fully knew well we woul dhave a hard time getting prego- she got prego during OUR honeymoon, she was so excited and called us right away. Joe's mom shared with her our name, should we have a son. She loved it, and took it, exactly.

I can't say anything to help you, only that I so understand where you are. *HUGS*

Tori :) said...

I'm so sorry! That is just...lame.

I'm with Anne and Suzanne. If you know that is the name your son should have- name him Jacob.

Anonymous said...

Ah, the name game. Such a bummer. Have you told the girlfriend you plan to use the name? Maybe she'll be a little more understanding than a man.????

elasticwaistbandlady said...

How about the more traditional spelling of Jakob with a K?

My mom was going to name my brother, Brandon, and mentioned it to her SIL. Guess what? SIL had her baby two days before my brother and named her kid that, hence my brother's name....Brendan. Which I prefer, anyway.