Monday, June 26, 2006

My Life Monday/Dweeb Awards

For My Life Monday, Rachelle gave us the option of choosing our own topic. I’m SO excited for this...I’m going to tell you ALL my favorite things.
My favorite food is choco...
Announcer: We interrupt this post for our FIRST ever Dweeb Awards. Presenting tonight will be none other than Dawnyel.
Thank you, Bob! I'm so excited to be presenting here tonight!
In our first ever "Dweeb" awards we’ll be presenting some pretty impressive awards. So get ready, because here we go!
First up, in the category of best belly flop, the Dweeb goes to ME!!
*wiping away my tears* Thank you all for your votes! *sniff* I couldn’t have done it without my mom. She IS the one who bought and mostly inflated the slip-n-slide. I also couldn’t have done it without Cameron, well, I guess I could have, but it just wouldn’t have been the same.
And now for the clip:
My mom had just bought a brand new slip-n-slide. It was a hot afternoon and I was anxious to see the exact size of the thing. So being very motivated, I pulled it out of the box and got to work setting it up. Slip-n-Slides have come a LONG way since I was younger, now they have inflatable sides and room at the end for a semi-wading pool. They’re still really fun and most are still bright yellow, but that’s where the similarities end. I attempted to blow the dang thing up by mouth. My lung capacity has diminished over the years...I guess you could call me a wimp. I tried and tried to get it to work and my mom suggested that I use an inflator from the trailer. I hurried in and quickly came back with the electric pump that was supposed to work on anything that needed inflating. I pulled it out of the box and the universal attachment was NOT there. But I was NOT going to give up. I hurried back and found a manual inflator and tried to get that working, it didn’t. By this time, my mom who was watching the whole thing from her perch on the porch was laughing at my feeble attempts. I gave up with the inflators and tried to use my mouth. OUCH! My cheeks hurt so bad after just a few minutes of huffing and puffing. Finally, my mom had enough of watching me fail, and came to rescued me. She blew most of the slide up, and I finished setting it up for the test run. Cameron was WAY excited to get wet. Once the water was on, he was running across the mat. He didn’t slide on his belly the way that I remember doing it as a child, so I told him, "Cam...this is how you do it. Watch me!" After getting his attention, I geared up for the "run." (Okay, so I don’t run...it was more like a quick walk!) I got my "running" start and took off for the slide, threw my arms above my head, and dove (belly-first) onto the slide. Now, usually when you do something like that on a WET slip-n-slide you move...at least a little, but that wasn’t the case for me. I completely flopped and halted. There was no slipping OR sliding involved...just flopping. And I found that I couldn’t move. I just stayed in that position for a few seconds, but it seemed a LOT longer. The first sensation was instant pain. My gut felt like I had left part of it IN the ground. The next sensation I experienced was loud laughter coming from behind me. My mom and youngest brother had witnessed the WHOLE thing and could NOT stop laughing. Not only was I in pain, but I was a bit embarrassed by the whole thing. My belly and my pride were hurt that night.
Thanks for that clip...now, our next Dweeb in the category of completely missing the directions for something goes to...*gushing* would you look at that...it’s me again!
*Sobbing* You LOVE ME!! You REALLY love me!!
Show that clip!!
As I was rolling up the slip-n-slide with my sister I noticed that there was a warning on the top part of the slip-n-slide. Not just on the box, but ON the slide itself. It read: "Not for use by adults...Not for use by persons taller than 5 feet or weighing more than 110 pounds..." If I had read that BEFORE my belly flop, I would have saved myself some pretty serious pain...both physically and emotionally! So much for reading the directions completely!
For our final Dweeb of the night, we award the wittiest come-back by someone...would you look at that! It’s a clean sweep everyone!! The winner is ME!!
*clutching the "Dweeb"* Thank you! Thank you!! This time, I’d have to thank the tobacco companies and those people who do cancer studies. They are the WHOLE reason I came up with my quick response! I feel so honored! These "Dweebs" will sit on a special shelf for years! And each time I pull them out I’ll think of your votes!
And now, for the winning clip!!
My younger brother was walking around my parent’s house looking for something to drink. He had just come back into the house from smoking his usual cigarette. He was talking to Cameron and he found some orange juice in the fridge. He poured himself a LARGE glass, and feeling like he was educating Cam he said, "Drinking orange juice prevents cancer! You should drink it!" I had to stifle my laughter, but I managed. Then I came back with, "Yeah, but cigarettes CAUSE cancer!" He looked at me, said nothing and walked away. I couldn’t help but be proud of that one! What does he think? That drinking orange juice will cancel out the cigarettes he’s smoked? If that’s the case, it would be one gallon of orange juice to one cigarette...the guy BETTER get drinking!
That’s all for our Dweebs! We hope you have a great night! And remember to drink that orange juice! It prevents cancer, ya know!

9 comments:

Mall Worker said...

Oh my, that was just hilarious! Thank you so much for sharing that embarrising momment!

Deannna - Younique Presenter said...

So funny!! I probably would have done the same thing!

Millie said...

LOL @ the cigarette causes cancer comment. DUH!!

Alicia said...

You may have just saved me today...a friend is coming over and bringing her slip-n-slide for the kids and now I know better than to try it out for myself! Thanks!

Blackeyedsue said...

Okay, I am ROLLING!!! I tried to imaging myself sliding down the kids slip n' slide. Not a pretty picture.

You made my day!!!

Anonymous said...

Craig and I are LAUGHING OUR HEADS OFF! Not only was it a HILLARIOUS experience...it was a VERY well written post! GOODONYA! You even managed to bring out a few lurkers! I LOVED the orange juice/cancer comment...your bro TOTALLY deserved that one! He totally knows better! Ahh...*holding my sides in pain*...that is just the laugh I needed tonight! I know you...and I am totally imagining the whole slip'n slide thing...and laughing all over again!

Anonymous said...

Yeah...I've so done the slip-n-slide thing as a grown up. Fortunately only my kids were in attendance. I did slip and slide, but I think they should have a warning about boobs on those things...if you've got 'em no sliding on your front side...bad idea!

LOL about the Orange Juice vs Cigarettes!

Mama D said...

That was sweet of you to try and show Cam how to do it "the right way". It's too bad it was so painful... But man, it was good for a laugh. Thank you for letting us in on your embarrasing moment!

CareBearMommy said...

Funny, funny, funny! I loved it. I can picture the whole scenario in my head perfectly. Too bad I wasn't there... I can guarantee you, If I were, I'd be sure you never forgot about it.

And way to go with the cancer comment. Serves him right!