I need some help. I just got a message last night from a former friend who I would very much like to be friends with again. Let me set up the situation...
When I was in school and dating my husband I had some very good friends who lived in the same dorms as me and we did everything together. (They were even there with me and Steve on our "first" date.) Anyway, one of my friends was a friend I had in high school. She was always bubbly and happy and I enjoyed being around her. Well, once I became serious with Steve I asked her if she would help me by doing my makeup and maybe massaging me before the wedding. She agreed. Here's where the problem lies....she took what I asked to mean, "will you be one of my brides' maids?" I took it to mean, "will you help me by being close to me on my special day?" So our versions of the story are very different. When it became official I invited her over to see what I had planned so far and I showed her the patterns for the bride's maids dresses and she told me that the sleeves were all wrong for her and wondered if I could change it. Needless to say there was a very awkward pause while I told her that I hadn't planned on her being one of my bride's maids. Since that day I haven't heard boo from her. I had heard from other friends that she was VERY upset with me, but that was it. I saw her once in the 6 and a half years since that day, but she completely ignored me. I thought it was over and decided to move on with my life, hoping that if I ever heard from her again that I could find a way to apologize to her and beg her forgiveness. I realize now that what I asked was not what she'd expected, and I have felt horrible about it.
When I was in school and dating my husband I had some very good friends who lived in the same dorms as me and we did everything together. (They were even there with me and Steve on our "first" date.) Anyway, one of my friends was a friend I had in high school. She was always bubbly and happy and I enjoyed being around her. Well, once I became serious with Steve I asked her if she would help me by doing my makeup and maybe massaging me before the wedding. She agreed. Here's where the problem lies....she took what I asked to mean, "will you be one of my brides' maids?" I took it to mean, "will you help me by being close to me on my special day?" So our versions of the story are very different. When it became official I invited her over to see what I had planned so far and I showed her the patterns for the bride's maids dresses and she told me that the sleeves were all wrong for her and wondered if I could change it. Needless to say there was a very awkward pause while I told her that I hadn't planned on her being one of my bride's maids. Since that day I haven't heard boo from her. I had heard from other friends that she was VERY upset with me, but that was it. I saw her once in the 6 and a half years since that day, but she completely ignored me. I thought it was over and decided to move on with my life, hoping that if I ever heard from her again that I could find a way to apologize to her and beg her forgiveness. I realize now that what I asked was not what she'd expected, and I have felt horrible about it.
So, last night I got a note from her (to my husband while he was working) and in it she told me that her life has changed for the better and that she is now dating someone and is very happy again. At the very end of the note she gave me her email address. As soon as I saw that I turned the computer back on and immediately wrote her that message that I've been anxious to give to her since I hurt her feelings. I had hoped that she would have written me back, but she hasn't. I feel like she may still be mad at me, but I don't want to continue to write to her and beg to be forgiven and sound insincere. What would you do if you were me? Please let me know!
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