Sharing Time Update

I think Sharing time went well. The message was "reading, watching, and listening to wholesome things helps keep my mind clear." The manual had only 2 paragraphs to fill the 15-20 minutes I have to teach this concept. Seriously, it wasn't enough.

I found some great ideas from this blog and used the Sunday Savers book. I had two glasses of water, one with mud and gunk in it, the other clear. I asked if they wanted to drink from the muddy cup, and one boy in senior primary ALMOST did...gross. Then we talked about how we want our minds to be clean and clear. Then we had several scenarios where you either had a good thought or a bad thought. We separated the thoughts into happy and sad bags. For the kids to pick out of the bag, they had to wear my goofy glasses. I found some giant sunglasses at the dollar store, popped out the lenses (you couldn't see through them anyway...) then I taped ears onto the side. I even had a hat that I taped a "clear mind" to. The kids absolutely LOVED it!! They didn't want to stop playing when time was up.

Anyway, I think it went well. I already love those kids, and now I just have to teach them. I think I'm going to be okay.

(Oh, and Kim, I'm not so sure teaching would have worked out for me....I don't have much patience past an hour or so of time. ;)

Nerves

I've got them in BUNCHES.

Tomorrow is my first Sharing Time. I'm not too worried about the kids, I already love them and know most of them....but I'm worried about getting my point across. I've got all sorts of props and things, but I want the kids to remember past church what I'm trying to teach....too much to ask?? Probably.

Not only do I have nerves, but Cameron does too. He starts school back up on Monday. (I'm doing the happy dance...I can't wait!) He's excited to go back and even MORE excited because this year they have a pet bunny. The kids are going to vote on a name for the pet, and he really hopes his choice is picked. He is still thinking of a name, but either way, he's happy to be able to take care of such a cute critter.

Jake's a little bundle of nerves as well. He was very disappointed this week when he didn't get to take his "school supplies" to school. He thinks he's big enough to go to school too. I've promised him that we will have our OWN school at home while Cameron is gone. He's okay with that, for now. I just worry that he'll see right through my non-knowledge and want real school anyway. So far I've got him flash cards, videos, a workbook, and some crayons and other goodies. He's SO ready to go to school, even though he's only 3.

Wish us all well....we may very well need it. :)

Help Comes To Those Who Ask

I've been given a HUGE blessing in the form of help with Sharing Times. My cousin, who is SO wonderful, has given me many websites with TONS of help. I'm going to post them on my sidebar, so we ALL can share in them.

I'm just grateful for people who are creative and make ME look good. ;)

New Jobs....Old Loves

A few weeks ago (while I was out of town) I was called to be in a new calling at church. Since becoming an adult (18 years old...) I've held MANY callings: Primary teacher (11 year olds and 5-6 year olds), Primary chorister (twice...two different wards), Cub Scout Den Leader, Visiting Teaching Coordinator, and Relief Society Meeting board-member. They've all been challenging in their own way, but my love was (and still is) Primary. I love hearing the kids bear sweet testimony of the gospel basics. Don't get me wrong, I've absolutely LOVED being in the adult classes, but found staying awake in class a little difficult. *giggle*

Anyway, new calling, right? I'm now in the Primary Presidency. I had a feeling it was coming when the previous counselor announced that it was her last Sunday. Then that same day, I went down to our Primary room for my calling, and realized that it felt comfortable. I KNEW that calling was coming, but I didn't say a word. Not to anyone....

Then, when Brother R, from the bishopric, called to come and visit with Steve and I, we began discussing why he was coming. Steve started saying, "I JUST got my calling (he's teaching the 9 year old kids, he is struggling, but seems to like it well enough.) It can't be me!"

I calmly looked at him and said, "It's for me."

He huffed for a minute, and then asked me why, and I said I'd discuss it with him after the calling came.

Sure enough, it was what I had thought and I accepted it (I think I'd accepted it when I felt like it was coming the previous Sunday).

I have been anxious about it since receiving the call...mostly because I've never been in a presidency before and don't really know what to expect.

After a quick run-down from the Primary President (a VERY good friend) and spending this last Sunday in Primary I'm no longer worried. I'm excited and ready for the current challenge. When I was set-apart (a special blessing given to those who are called, giving them the rights and blessings associated with the new calling) I was reminded over and over that Heavenly Father WILL hear and answer my prayers. He will guide me and help me say what the children need to hear. My family will be blessed, and most importantly I will be blessed (both spiritually and physically) as I serve.

I'm hoping to share some Sharing Time ideas on my side-bar, just like I did with my singing time ideas. Sharing is my best kept secret. I'm not that creative on my own, really....but I can play up someone else's idea like you wouldn't believe.

Mommy Has a Potty Mouth

I have a confession: I never swore until I had children.

I remember accidentally saying "damn" when I was younger and I felt SO embarrassed and horrible that I promised myself I would never say a bad word again...

That worked, until I had children. And when I say "children" I do mean MORE than one. I didn't swear until I had TWO kids.

Now I'm a big bad swearing machine. I say words I don't want to say and feel horribly guilty after I say them.

Today I was chewing the boys out for making a mess of the living room and leaving their toys strewn across the floor. I said a particularly poopy word about 5 times. After the fifth time and my guilt growing each time, I said out loud, "I need to STOP saying that word!"

The boys just looked at me with questioning eyes....

Then I randomly said, "DOG POOPY!"

Both boys cracked up. They couldn't STOP laughing. Pretty soon they were chanting, "Dog poopy!" Followed by uncontrollable laughter.

I told my boys that if I say that potty word again, they had my permission to say "dog poopy" and stop me in my tracks.

Internal Language.....and Other Things to Think About

So my Girls' Weekend Out was FANTABULOUS! The theme of the trip was "You are Beautiful." I'm SO glad that it was, I really needed it (as well as a few others of us.)

On Saturday we all took a class that was entitled "You are Beautiful," and it was taught by 4 LOVELY ladies, who I look up to. One of them talked about changing your internal language to positive thoughts. She talked about her own personal journey, and encouraged the rest of us to do the same.

She talked about sitting on a rock for 4 hours and contemplating who we are....I hope to do this sometime soon.

She said that when we're having particularly negative thoughts, to write them on our hand (the negative on the left hand and the positive on the right.) Then we can choose which one we want to keep in our mind.

And she talked about figuring out our own personal internal sentence that defines who we are and make it something positive if it's negative. I have come back to this many times since she first brought it up. My first thought was to find my negative sentence, and I found it pretty quickly. It isn't necessarily something that I always entertain, but when someone sincerely compliments me and my first thought is negative, THIS is the sentence that comes first: "I'm fat, and fat is ugly."

I know, pretty harsh, right?

So then I was thinking about what I wanted my positive sentence to be, and realized that I already have one. On my happier, and more positive days I have a sentence that I think when someone compliments me: "I'm happy to be me, and I will not accept your criticisms."

I was pleased to know that I DO have some positive things to combat all those negative voices that sneak in.

That night we were having a special testimony meeting, and one of my most favorite people got up and talked about something that I've come to LOVE! She said that we needed to think about a woman we know who has the traits that we look up to and list them. She asked us to think of four traits (because that's her lucky number....) then she gave us time to think. I thought of a wonderful woman in my ward, one I love and have actually told that I want to be like her. My four traits for her were: 1. She's a happy woman. 2. She is confident. 3. She is hilarious (she ALWAYS makes me laugh.) And 4. She is kind.

After we'd thought about our traits, my friend said that those traits we listed are things that we have within ourselves. We can recognize them because they are apart of us. They resonate through our whole lives.

After hearing this thought, I realized that it was true...not necessarily at all times, but those ARE who I am.

My weekend taught me SO much about myself, and how to truly love others that I had misjudged. I want this feeling with me ALWAYS.....

JUST What I Needed

I had an absolutely WONDERFUL weekend:
I got to see friends that I've never met in real life (and we totally clicked!)

I laughed until my cheeks and belly hurt.

I ate fantastic food.

I got to sit in the temple with my best girlfriend.

I stayed up talking until 4:00 in the morning.

I felt the Spirit.

I learned that I can love myself and that is a GOOD thing.

I learned that I shouldn't make quick judgments.

I found out that my family is okay to be without me, for a little while anyway.

I am rejuvenated and can't wait to do it again.

So Frustrated.....And I'm Going to Leave....

The last few days have been VERY frustrating for me. While trying to see some paintings on Monday night, Cameron had an utter and complete melt-down. I had to literally DRAG the boy out of the building while he was screaming and carrying on. It was SO embarrassing.

Then yesterday I kept yelling and yelling until I was ready to lose my voice. Cameron would not do a THING I said. I was beginning to lose my mind.

At first, I thought it was because I'm SO excited to get away this weekend. (I'm going on a Girls Weekend Out...I've been looking forward to this trip for a VERY long time, and I figured that I was just super excited to be gone....) And while I AM excited to see my friends, and play without being bothered by little kids, it wasn't the reason I was going nuts.

Last night, right before I went to bed, I checked Cameron's pill container....he has NOT taken his pills for the last 2 days. I was SO SO SO mad. I was ready to pull the boy out of bed over it (but I didn't...) Whenever I had asked him if he had taken his pills, he lied and said he had. Then he continued to act out and not listen.

Today I remedied the situation by WATCHING him take the pills.

Here's hoping the next day is happy, and he's behaving well for daddy while I'm gone.

Healing

I'm still healing from my wound. People are very concerned, and it's touching.

I haven't had to take pain pills during the day for QUITE a while (yay!) but I do take them when I go to bed, because I almost always inadvertently pull on it and hurt myself.

I'm healing in more than just the physical way though. I'm working on healing my toxic behaviors. I re-read the book, "How to Hug a Porcupine: How to Love Hard to Love Personalities." I LOVE this book, but it always reminds me of my own toxic behaviors. I want to work on loving my boys and husband just a little more and not criticizing them so much.

Unfortunately for both of my wounds, I'm a slow healer....this will be a long process.

A Visit to the Surgeon

I got the call this morning that I was to see the surgeon at 2:15 this afternoon. No problem....wait, a small problem....I am on strong pain meds, I'm NOT supposed to drive.....

I ended up staying off the meds, so I could drive myself, since I didn't have help today.

After dropping the boys off with my mom, I went to the office. I sat in the waiting room and filled out 5 pages of medical history. Then I sat and read through a full issue of People. I even read many stories all the way through.

An hour after I arrived (45 minutes past my initial appointment time) I was taken back and my vitals were taken. Then I was shown to a large examination room. I sat in there and waited by myself and WITHOUT reading materials for another 15-20 minutes.

The surgeon finally came in and asked me about what had been going on. I gave him a condensed version, and then he asked me to change into their paper shirt to be checked.

I waited another 3 minutes before he came back.

When he returned he was on his cell phone with another doctor discussing a man's treatment. He was talking about chemo and surgery and removing his colon.....all the while he was pulling out a long strip of packing that was inside of me, and causing me to call out in pain. (What I really wanted to do was scream loudly and interrupt his phone call....am I NOT important??)

Then he finished his call and told me that he wants the wound to heal and then he'll come up with a plan of action. See how much of the tissue is affected and where to go once we know more. He recommended that I not wear a bra for the next 2 weeks while it heals....um, no...thank you.

Then he bandaged me up (hello, I'm allergic to tapes and adhesives....oh, well, I'll just take it off as soon as I can....) and told me he'd see me in 2 weeks.

Yup, that's it. I spent a good chunk of my afternoon waiting for this man to tell me to hurry up and wait. *eye roll* Thanks for your PROFESSIONAL opinion.

I Saw a Doctor (Well, a Nurse, REALLY) Today

I was in excruciating pain today. I couldn't even lift up my arm to help out...it was bad. And last night the wound started oozing.....

I called my doctor's office multiple times and got NO answer. I had enough, so I went to a Redi-care (ER alternative, supposedly faster and better...) They were super busy, so I sat in the waiting room and slept for a half hour while I waited.

When the nurse called me back, I explained everything that has been going on. I mentioned that it began oozing last night. She told me that they'd have a doctor (who turned out to be an RN) come and look at it.

He was very nice. He apologized over and over for hurting me (I did cry.....and I always thought I was a tough gal...) I warned him that it was already oozing (when I'd changed into their gown I noticed LOTS of pus and crud....it was SO gross!) He was okay with it. He covered his face with a mask and his glasses (in case it REALLY decided to explode) and lanced it for me. The worst part was when he was packing gauze into the wound when it was all over, THAT really made me cry.

Then they put me on an antibiotic IV that I have to return to get for the rest of the weekend. I also have to get the packing changed out.

He gave me two prescriptions and I was done.

Thankfully, my parents had kept my boys with them the whole time. That was wonderful.

But things are starting to get fuzzy....I've taken my pain pill....so I'll leave it at that. More treatment is necessary, but I'm okay for now! :)

More on the Boobie Front

This will be TMI, so if you don't want to know, please stop reading now. Just a warning.

I called my doctor today. (Yes, I've been waiting for things to take care of themselves for 3 weeks.) The nurse told me that there are two options to help my poor, painful, purple/black boobie out: do hot compresses and ibuprofen OR visit a surgeon and have it taken care of surgically. Since I've already tried the cheap option (hot compresses and meds) I now have to do the more expensive/scary option. She said she'd try to find a time for me to see someone next week.

As much as I would LOVE the pain to be gone, I'm nervous about having surgery again. I've had multiple cysts taken care of, so I know it's not a big deal, BUT none of my previous cysts were THIS big or painful.

I'm a little scared.

New Update on Me

Remember a while back when I mentioned my lump on my breast? Well, it's gotten bigger, purple and WAY more painful. (Not that it was painful before, but now it hurts like a dirty-bugger!)

I keep trying to remind myself that it's nothing bad. No "C" word, but it does hurt. At first it was a mild annoyance. I would rub my arm against it and it hurt a bit. Now I can't even bend over.

It has grown to fill the bottom quarter of my boob and is an ugly purple. It hurt whenever it pulled against my skin, so I've taken to putting clothing between it and my chest.

I can't believe how much something so small can overwhelm my life.

I am in pain, but believe that if I leave it alone that it will eventually go away.

I'm highly tempted to just lop the darn thing off all together, but then I would look WAY funny.

Old Pictures

I LOVE looking through old pictures and laughing and remembering. They're so much fun.

Right now I'm in the middle of a huge project though: making a family picture book. Last night I got a CD with over 400 pictures on it, and none were cropped properly. I'm in the midst of cropping them right now. It's SO fun to see these pictures and wonder about what was going on in them. It's so true that every picture is worth a thousand words, but sometimes I wish I knew more of the story.

Just for fun, here's a few of the fun pictures I'm looking at:

What a huge, but FUN project!

Camping: Success

It worked, but not ideally.

Sleeping in the suburban was a bit of a feat. The inflatable mattress was too big to fit between the wheel wells, so I had to deflate it a bit, which means my hip bone was on the floor all night long. I guess the boys didn't care, both of them slept VERY well.

I got to spend time with my aunts and uncle that I don't see that often, it was SO much fun. They're all pretty funny and tell a good story.

The boys were thrilled to go fishing with Grandpa and Uncle Wes. The first night out Jake caught a fish (never mind that it was actually on my dad's pole, it was Jake's to reel in...) He was so thrilled that when he got back he came into the motor home SCREAMING, "MOMMY!! I CAUGHT A FISH!!!" He was so proud of that rainbow fish.

The next trip out Cameron caught HIS fish. He was less excited than Jake, but that's not hard to do. Both boys were completely satisfied with their fishing exploits. (My uncle told me that he LOVED having the boys go fishing with him and my dad, and that any time they want to go out, he'd be happy to go with them.)

This picture expresses BOTH boys' phobia of touching the slimy fish....*giggle*

On Sunday we took a road trip to my favorite of all pretty places: Wade Lake, Montana. It was a LONG drive there, but the scenery was absolutely BREATH-taking. The mountains with their snow capped peaks...the green fields, the rivers roaring along....absolutely BEAUTIFUL! We spent about 20 minutes at Wade Lake, enough time for my dad to sit in fresh dog poo, Jake and Cameron to go wading in the lake (and soak up their pants) and for me to drop my camera in the lake. Don't worry, all is well. It was so fun and just BEAUTIFUL!

Today we packed up and left. I was sad to see the weekend end, but was excited about the shower to come.

Tonight is the fireworks show, and I am debating on whether to go down there by myself and the boys or not. Usually I'd have my parents with me, but I just found out my mom had a nasty fall and has probably dislocated her hip. She and my dad are at the hospital....we haven't even had our annual 4th of July picnic. :( I hope she's okay.....my mom in even MORE pain would not be fun.

Update: I did end up going to the fireworks, I met Steve at work and we walked just to the off-ramp nearby. Even though it was through the trees the boys enjoyed the show. (And I wasn't by myself in the huge crowd...)

My mom is at home and recovering well. She didn't dislocate anything. (*whew*) BUT she did pull several muscles and is on some heavy-duty pain killers and riding around in a wheel chair. She should recover quickly. (*whew*)

Big Weekend

Usually we let the 4th of July weekend go by without much fanfare, but this year, we've decided on an impromptu camping trip. Unfortunately, since it's impromptu, that means Steve can't come, because he has to work, but the boys are REALLY excited about going.

The ONLY hesitation the boys had was missing our town's parade. I'm all for it, because I've been IN this parade for many MANY years, and then watched it for many MANY years, and it's not that impressive...in fact, it really sucks. We won't miss MUCH, but the boys are devastated. I told Cameron that I'd ride around in a car and throw candy at him (Jake piped in and said, "Mom, you'd HURT him!") I have even offered to buy the boys their own flags.....this has calmed them a bit, but they're still disappointed. They WILL survive, I'm sure.

Because I'm tired of putting up my tent all alone, we're doing a car camping trip this time. We'll sleep in our suburban. Since all we really ever did in our tent was sleep and dress, I figured it wasn't that big of a deal....we'll see once the weekend's over if this is a good plan or not.

I'm excited to spend this holiday out in the woods. I absolutely LOVE Independence Day and all it stands for. I get weepy when I hear those special patriotic songs and my heart stirs when I see flags flying around town.

We are truly blessed to be living in this country with the few freedoms we enjoy. God must have helped out those Founding Fathers for them to have created such a special Constitution for our lives.

God Bless America!

We've Become THOSE Parents

You know, the ones you SWEAR you will never allow yourself to become?? The ones you just KNOW are too lazy to correct their children, who allow the kids to do whatever they want whenever they want....the kind we promise ourselves we WON'T become.

For the last month or so my boys have been terrible about going to bed. For a while they shared a bunk bed. Then when they'd be in bed together, Cameron would shake the bunk bed and wake up Jake, just because, and Jake would reciprocate. I got annoyed with the squeaking and the fighting, so I took the bunk bed apart and then downstairs. Right now, the boys' beds are just mattresses on the floor, nothing more.

Since I took the blasted bunk beds down, bedtime has been a nightmare.

Cameron will poke/hit/kick Jake, and Jake will bug/poke/annoy Cam. We tried separating them (which worked!), but then I spent a week at my parents' house. Things were completely messed up. This week I've been on the brink of tears every SINGLE night.

The boys scream, yell and fight even more than usual. Bedtime has NOT happened before 11:00 all week. Both boys are cranky, and to tell you the truth, I'm grouchy myself.

Tonight, Steve helped out. He's truly been a HUGE help when the boys won't listen to me. After 3 times trying to send the boys to bed together/separate times, he'd had enough with the fighting and let Jake stay downstairs until Cam fell asleep. (This is what we've been doing, and generally it works....) Soon Jake was running around playing with pillows and blankets, then he was playing with his toys. At that moment I saw myself through someone elses' eyes....I was the lazy parent who let their child stay awake as long as they wanted and just let them have free reign of the house.

I yelled, "We're THOSE parents!!! We let our kid run amok and haven't enforced their bedtime!!"

Steve laughed.

I sent Jake off to bed and just allowed World War III continue without intervention.

Again, it was after 11:00 before the screaming stopped, but I've hit my limit....I'm DONE! I don't want to fight this fight any more. I want my kids to listen the FIRST time I tell them something (maybe the second, but not on the 10th time....)

I'm so disappointed in myself...I'm one of THOSE parents.

Sweet Peas Saying Sweet Prayers

The other day my boys and I were going to go to hang out with some friends. We were all really excited about going and didn't want to miss this for anything. We headed out to the suburban and buckled up. We were ready to leave, but the suburban wasn't. It wouldn't turn on. (Now, let me preface this a bit....We're buying my parents' old suburban. It's been having issues with the starter for about a year....if you hold onto the key too long after the engine has turned over, it dies. The trick is that you have to let go of the key as SOON as it starts up. So far, we've not had many problems.) The engine wouldn't even sputter. I was worried that this was the end of the suburban until we could afford to replace the starter. I was sad. My boys were in the back seat complaining loudly.

I had a thought, 'Let's say a prayer.'

So I told the boys we were going to pray. Both boys folded their little arms, squeezed their eyes shut, and listened as I prayed for our car to work so that we would be able to go to our fun activities and continue through the week.

I worked with the vehicle for a while (probably 5 minutes) and it FINALLY started! As we pulled out on our way, I told the boys, "Guys, we need to remember to tell Heavenly Father thank you."

In that instant Cameron called out, very loudly, "THANK YOU, HEAVENLY FATHER!!!"

I giggled at that, and we were off.

Then yesterday we were doing some more running around, and we'd parked the suburban in the same spot. It was just me and Jake this time. We were preparing to leave, and the car immediately turned over and Jake called out, very loudly, "THANK YOU FOR STARTING OUR CAR, HEAVENLY FATHER!!!!!"

I think now we'll work on thanking Heavenly Father IN our prayers. ;)

What Can You Do In the Freezing Rain??

How about attend Webelos day camp with your son, friend and another scout?? I did.

Besides falling flat on my backside not one minute outside of the car, it was a fun day...filled with interesting tidbits of information taught by "educated" scouts. For true-life examples, visit Deanna....it's all true!

The boys loved the little bit of sun we saw...as well as the baby racoon (that would be MY favorite part.)

I'm just glad to be home now. Can someone carry me upstairs to bed?? I think my body is aching all over....

Happy Birthday, Dear Jacob....

Today was my munchkin's 3rd birthday. My, how the time has FLOWN!

He got a few cool things for his birthday: a big monster truck, a pitching-tee, and then some Cars characters. He loved it and couldn't wait to play with his bat and pitching-tee, unfortunately the rain settled in before he got a good chance to play.

He'd asked for a monster truck rally cake, so I made one (it was SO yummy and WAY rich) and then we went bowling and out for burgers for family home evening.

Overall I'd say it was a VERY fun birthday for a certain little boy. I'm so glad he's in our family!

(By the way, the big-eyed face he's making in these pictures is new. We all laugh HYSTERICALLY when he makes this face.)