I Really SHOULD Make my Blog a Priority....

I have a lot to say most days, but I forget it when I get on the computer and I play my time away. *hee hee*

Anyway, a few weeks ago the boys got hair cuts. Cam got a cool mo-hawk because the school had crazy hair day (not allowing hair paint, so what ELSE could we do with a little boy's hair??)

He LOVED it and Jake kept asking for the same thing....even though his hair was too short. Maybe this summer sometime we'll have matchy-matchy boys.

Cam tried to teach Jake the "cool" finger thing so he could look like Cam, but he couldn't figure out why we were making him put up his fingers, so we gave up.

*hee hee*

Pure Bliss

I just returned from a fantastical weekend away with my boys and my family camping. (Sadly, Steve couldn't come, even had to work on his birthday.) Usually we go north for our camping, but this year I suggested a different location, and we've discovered that we LOVE this newer place.

I had worried about the weather. I'm still a tent-camper at heart, so I worried about the high speed winds we'd been experiencing at home. I decided that if all else failed, I would sleep with my boys in the suburban.

Late Friday evening we found our spot and it was LOVELY. There was little to NO wind. I was ecstatic.

Saturday was even MORE beautiful than I'd expected. We had camped by a few snowbanks, but we weren't too worried. My boys went fishing with Grandpa and I was free for a few hours....I totally napped, guilt-free!! It was THE best. Then, the boys came back, boasting of their fishing adventures. (They caught garbage fish, so both fish were killed and not allowed back at camp, but Jake would tell proudly of how his grandpa "boke" the fish and there was lots of "b'ood!") Everyone was toasted...love sunburns, right?

That night the rain clouds came in. It rained a lot on Sunday, but we were with my parents and their "40-foot-Hilton on wheels." We watched movies and just sat in the warmth of the motor home.

Then this morning it was rainy again, and we knew we needed to pack up. I have yet to find the motivation to lay out the wet things to dry, but I will soon...I have to!

It was truly a beautiful weekend and one that I know my boys will treasure for years to come. I absolutely LOVE camping on Memorial Day weekend!

Who Are You?

My friend shared this video with me today....I'm literally in TEARS!!!

Sending all of you my love, and God's!

Where's The Love?

Lately I've been feeling like the internet is a huge waste of time. I've had some pretty fun places I liked to visit in the past, but lately I've felt like things have fallen too much into the negative. I have contemplated leaving the internet behind and living without it, but it IS a necessary evil. Bill paying has NEVER been better than before the internet.

Today I was talking about the bad feelings I've felt with my hubby, and he shared a pretty cool quote with me. I'd like to share it here, and vow to try and be MORE like my Heavenly Father.

“But while one portion of the human race is judging and condemning the other half, the Great Parent of the universe looks upon the whole of the human family with a Fatherly care and Paternal regard."

~Joseph Smith TPJS, pg 218

Ninja in Training

Jake's been having bedtime issues lately. He'll come downstairs after being sent to bed, and will complain, "Mama, I had a bad dream." He doesn't believe me that you can only have nightmares once you're sleeping, but that's beside the point.

Tonight he was extra grumpy and got sent to bed early. He was none too pleased with missing family prayer, so he came down and complained, "We need to pray!"

Yes, but you were naughty, go back to bed...

He came down several times, thankfully, daddy was here and took him back when he'd come down. (When mommy's alone, I just let him fall asleep on the couch, I have no staying power late at night...I just give up!)

Tonight after a while we heard nothing. I thought we'd won the bedtime battle. I was happy, and didn't think another thing of it....

....until Steve, after being frightened came to me, and motioned me to the stairs.

There he was....sleeping at the bottom of the stairs.

He sat silent at the bottom of the stairs for QUITE a while before he'd fallen asleep. He's mastered the art of sitting silently and sneakily.....

I think I might be in for it.

Monster to Mush

Mornings around here are NOT pretty. Usually one of us is grumpy, the other is defiant, and the other is so full of energy that the rest of us grumble. Yeah, we pretty much play the same three roles over and over every day.

I'm the grump....mornings have NEVER been my cup of tea. I've always been a night owl.

Cameron is the defiant one. I have to beg and plead and yell to get him to do ANYTHING! Usually it ends up with us fighting....that's never pretty.

Then there's Jake. Happy-go-lucky, Jake. He's pretty happy in the mornings just as long as he's got something to drink, something to eat, something to play with and something on TV to watch. He's not hard to please, but he's pretty demanding about it, every single day.

This morning Cam was especially grumpy. Jake was kind enough to wake his big brother up by banging on the wall. Nice, right? So Cameron started out yelling at Jake....NOT a good way to start the day.

Then when he came out of the bathroom, he informed Jake that he was going to take the toy Jake was playing with for show and tell. I told Cameron that he was not allowed to just take toys away from his brother just because he wanted. This caused a mini-tantrum.

When he came down, he was still being ornery about the whole toy situation, and instead of getting his shoes and socks on, he looked through the toy box to find a toy to take for show and tell. This is NOT cool with me. I don't care if he takes a toy, but he should at least have his other priorities in order. I told him to stop looking for a toy and get his socks and shoes on....this is when the fighting began. He threw a toy at Jacob (which caused mommy to see red) and then he sat on his favorite chair, folded his arms and said, "I DON'T WANT TO!"

Something you should know about me....I do NOT like to lose a fight, especially to a defiant child. I know it's something I should learn to let go, but I would like for him to obey his parents....just weird that way, I guess.

After much yelling and screaming, I lost it. I didn't beat him to death (although I was very tempted...) but I shook him and yelled....a lot. So I finally got ahold of my thoughts and sent Cameron to time-out before I REALLY lost it and hurt him, then I sat down and tried SO hard to calm myself down. It's hard to do that when you hear, "I HATE you, MOMMY!! I hate YOU too, Jake!!!! I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!"

Finally, after 10 minutes of calming and cooling, we both were fine. Cameron was punished by not being able to take ANYTHING for show and tell. He was okay with it, in fact, he told me that he loved me.

He turned from this horrid monster into my child, my pile of mush.

What happened?? Let me tell you, it's a little thing called a pill. I don't know why he can't be kind without it, but it seems he just can't.

I'm very glad that we have this modern medicine, but I'm ready for a continuous drip. I want my child back.

5 Reasons I Love Being a Mommy

(I stole this idea from my friend, Deanna. Thanks for the idea!)

Random Loves

My boys will randomly come up to me, give me a nice hug and say, "Mom, I love you!" It's especially humbling when I'm in the midst of one of my many mommy-rants and they stop me in my tracks with their love. And I absolutely know they love me when they sweetly squeeze me in their little bear-hugs. So sweet.

Singing Primary Songs at the Top of Our Lungs

We're still pretty old-school when it comes to music. In the suburban I will play CDs that the boys love. I have to love them too, but that's besides the point. One of our favorites is Voice Male. They have a funny little version of "Popcorn Popping" that just makes my boys burst into laughter. When I begin the CD, Jake KNOWS it's his favorite and he instantly BEGS to hear "Cah-corn! Mama, Cah-corn!!" Once he says it correctly he's rewarded with the song. Then we'll all sing the song....yes, all of us.

Dinnertime

My boys are pretty picky. Dinner can be a huge success or a HUGE bust. Tonight I made a giant chef salad. (Lettuce, cucumbers, green peppers, celery, carrots, tomatoes, ham, turkey....) Both boys gobbled up their salads and BOTH complimented me on my choice of meals. (Cameron said, "Mmmm...Mom, this is SO good!" Jake said, "Why'd you chose this?" *giggle*) Seeing them eat up healthy food and LOVE it, nothing better....

Quiet Times

Those are few, and far between, but when I can sit down with Jake on my lap, Cameron cuddled on "his" chair watching random cartoons (today it was Rocky and Bullwinkle.....) the quietness surrounds us and I feel peace and unending love. I know that my boys are busy, but they can also appreciate the quiet times.

Helpers

Both of my boys LOVE to help me. They will almost fight over who gets to clean the kitchen table, fortunately there are enough washcloths and water to go around for everyone. It makes my heart swell to hear a little voice say, "Mama, can I help?"

Please don't take this list to say that my boys are perfect little angels, believe me, they're not. BUT there are those choice moments that make me stop and appreciate being a mom...the hardest, best job I've ever had.

A Lot to Say, No Particular Story to Share

Lately I've been in kind of a funk. I'm not all that happy with my hubby (I've been pretty grumpy, poor guy...) I've been a bear to my boys....it's not cool.

I think I need to make some new goals that will help me out. I need to go to bed at a decent hour (said the crazy lady at 2:30 in the morning...) I need to eat healthy foods. I need to exercise. I need to clean my house.

I'm just in a funk. Don't mind me.

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I also don't have a lot to say about Osama's death. I am glad that we found him, but I don't know that his death is helpful. (I know, I may be opening a can of worms by saying this.) I'm sure he's got other trained members of his group ready to step up and take his place. I think we're not finished, and things won't be better any quicker.

I believe that Osama Bin Ladin will be judged by God, given the correct and just consequenses, but I would LOVE to see that exchange.

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I'm on a Glee kick right now.

Steve and I found the first season on Netfilx, and we watched the whole thing in a week. We loved it and fell in love with the music. I've been listening nightly to the music and just singing, rocking-out, and enjoying it.

I wish the second season was available....I can't quite just jump into the middle of it without knowing what has happened before. *sigh* I will wait, but I won't like it.

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My boys have been pretty cute lately. I pulled out the camera for some reason last week and both posed for a picture. It was pretty funny.

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I've got two new night stands that match my pretty bed. LOVE them. We're trading them for our out-of-commission van. I think it's worth it!

Monster Children See Monster Trucks

A few weeks ago Steve took our boys to a Monster Truck rally. The boys were VERY excited. Anytime they saw a commercial for the rally they'd dance around clapping their hands, "WE GET TO GO SEE THAT!!"

Thankfully, since my hubby is a SAINT, I was able to stay home and did NOT have to participate. (He gets me, he really does...)

The boys had a BLAST! Although, I heard that Jake wanted mom after the first few minutes. Eventually, he got into the mood and was yelling and having fun with everyone else.

It ended up going pretty late, and the boys were SO tired when they got home at one in the morning, but they're already begging to go again next year.

Cameron, my sweet boy, keeps saying, "Mom, I close my eyes, and all I see are monster trucks!"

We know what will make the boys' year next time around....

The BESTEST Birthday Present Ever....

My bed is all done....all prettified and MINE! I'm SO in love with it. Thanks to my brothers (who are SUPER talented in the woodworking department) and my dad for providing the lumber, and to my hubby, for the bestest ruined surprise I could ever hope for!

Wanna See What I Get For My Birthday??

Steve has been pretty secretive about my birthday present this year. Unfortunately for him, I'm observant.

He commissioned my younger brothers to make me a bed....headboard, sideboards, footboard....but they all refused to let me see it.

Well, since today is my birthday and I won't be able to GET it today (still needs to get a finishing coat on it...) I begged to go and see it.

It. Is. BEAUTIFUL!! It's hickory and walnut. It's SO SO SO pretty. I'm perma-grin just thinking about it.

Final Lumpy Update: All is Well

Yes, I'm completely FINE!!

I went in for the ultrasound this morning, and almost had to have a mammogram, but since you can SEE the lump on the skin, they opted to wait until after the ultrasound if it was necessary.

They checked it, then went to consult with the doctor. I laid on the bed all by myself for 10 minutes. My mind kept thinking, "Maybe they've FOUND something. Maybe I was a little too confident in my in-grown hair scar theory.....I'm totally gonna lose my boob!"

Thankfully, the doctor came in, checked for himself, and decided that it's probably a lymph node. It's about an inch deep and comma shaped. If it gets any bigger or causes pain, I'm to go in, but for now: CLEAN BILL OF HEALTH!

Breathing never felt SO good!

Lumpy Update

I saw a physician's assistant today. She was VERY nice and wonderful about everything. She did an exam and found my little lump, after she examined it a bit, she decided that it looked and felt like it was an ingrown hair that had scared up. She said to be sure it was what she thought, she'd order an ultrasound, since I'm not experiencing any pain with it, and the other option is to cut into it.

The hospital will be calling me soon to set up an appointment for the ultrasound, and until that ultrasound clears me, I will still be hesitant to breathe freely, but my mind is at ease.

Thank you so much for your love and prayers, they were felt.

Lumpy

This weekend, after having a wonderful experience at a Women's Conference that built me up, I had a humbling moment. I found a small lump on my breast.

I have been a mess all weekend. I tried to hold it in at church, but broke down during a few of the hymns and my husband's solo. During those songs I was feeling the love of the Lord and my Savior. I know they love me and they are watching over me.

My little lump could be anything, but I'm going to a doctor tomorrow to have it checked out. If you could spare a few prayers for me and my small family, I would truly appreciate it.

No matter what, I AM going to go on. I AM going to be okay. I am NOT going to let a little lump get me down.

Echo?

Seriously, I'm talking to myself, I know it, but come ON!! :(

I'm going off somewhere to pout.

Phone Woes

Yesterday I jumped onto our computer to do a few things and found that the internet wasn't working. I didn't really think too much of it, and played a game until Steve woke up. Once he was awake I told him that the internet was off, and I didn't know what was wrong.

He played around with it for a while and eventually figured out that it was more than just a messed up modem.....our whole phone system was off. The phones weren't working. (No WONDER it had been such a quiet, peaceful morning...) He asked me if I'd paid our bill, I told him I did, so I didn't know what was wrong.

I hurried over to my mom's house to use HER phone to call the phone company. After 15 minutes I was told that they were going to send out a technician to fix the problem....TOMORROW.

How in the world was I going to live without the internet for a full day? This was going to be torture!

My mom let me borrow her cell phone, just in case I needed it for anything, and then I hurried home to tell Steve what was going on before he had to go to work.

That night, I played with my boys. We made cupcakes (making a MESS) and then we watched TV. After they were in bed, I played my computer game for HOURS. Once Steve came home after midnight, I even went to the store. I have to admit, driving around town at 2:30 in the morning is SO fun and relaxing....there is NO ONE you have to worry about. I went to Walmart and bought the new Harry Potter movie, drove around a little bit and then came home.

This morning I waited for the repairman to come. Finally around 10:00 there was a knock at the door. I hurried to answer it, and found it was a repairWOMAN. She was very kind and said that the problem was coming from INSIDE our apartment. She quickly checked all the phone jacks that we have in use....clearing them almost instantly. After taking her upstairs to my bedroom, she asked if there were ANY other jacks, I said I didn't think so, then she asked if there was a jack in the boys' bedroom. Funny she should mention that, there IS one, but we don't use it....

Unless you happen to be 2 and 3/4 years old, full of mischief and in possession of a tinker-toy. Jake had taken his orange tinker-toy stick and STUCK it in the jack. I was SO embarrassed.

Thankfully the lady was understanding and said it happens all the time.

Now we're back. (YAY!) But I'm seriously contemplating banishing tinker-toys from my house.

One More Mommy Confession

Yesterday, while the boys were obnoxious and bouncing off the walls, I got super frustrated. The thing of it is that they like to bang on the walls that we share with neighbors. I don't mind so much when it's just them banging on our inner walls, but the shared walls makes me crazy because I'm so afraid the neighbors are going to think we're rotten neighbors.

I could hear them banging on the shared wall and I said, "You know boys, you need to be more polite. You shouldn't bang on the wall we share with the neighbors, because they might call the cops. And if they do, I might be tempted to let the police take you both away...."

Silence for a minute...

Cameron called back, "Maybe Grandma would want us."

Teach ME for Trying to be a Good Mommy....

So my last post was all about tattling on Steve and his mistakes. (Believe me, the only reason I posted it was because the man RARELY does stuff like this anymore....he just has had a bad couple of days....) Now it's time to tattle on myself....

Today I took Jake with me to the store. I've been watching Sonic's commercials for their hot dogs....and they look REALLY good. So I figured I'd make my own hot dogs for lunch, but I needed to get some decent hot dogs (I'm a weenie snob....I only eat Falls Brand Beef Wieners.) and some buns. I also decided to buy some chili blocks, and the only store that I KNEW had what I wanted was across town. I took my chances and went across town to get the stuff.

When we were checking out, Jake happened to see the soda display. I was in a good mood and decided to let him choose a soda. I have been craving a Dr. Pepper, so I opted for caffeine, knowing I'd probably fall asleep anyway, then I let Jake pick his own. He grabbed a new soda by Sunkist. In this part of the country, we rarely have caffeine in our Sunkist sodas. I figured he was safe.

Once we got home I made our lunch and poured Jake's soda into a cup. I refilled his cup 3 times. I ended up giving him about 1/2 of a 16 ounce bottle.

After lunch, I planned on making the boy take a nap, because he stayed up WAY late last night and woke up WAY early today. He was in DESPERATE need of sleep. I turned on his cartoons, and held him on my lap. (This is how I usually get him to snooze....it's also tradition for me to fall asleep sitting up and holding the child, possibly snoring in his ear. It's soothing, I swear!)

Two hours later, he was just wiggly and NOT ready to nap.

Finally, I thought, "Wait, doesn't SOME of Sunkist's drinks have caffeine?" I went to check the bottle. Sure enough, the fourth ingredient was caffeine. I wanted to hit myself in the head. Are you KIDDING!? I'd given my already hyper child ENERGY juice!?

(At this point, I WAS impressed that the boy sat still for me for 2 hours, but still....) So I let him run around....this only made the energy grow and grow and grow.

I will NOT be doing this again, I can assure you....

Heck, there's a special spot on the label that SAYS it has caffeine!

See, I COULD have saved myself SO much frustration, but I was only trying to be a good mommy.....

A Fork?? REALLY!?

Today started out as another fabulous Sunday. After church I came home and quickly put dinner together. It took me a half hour of cooking and rearranging, but I got things ready. Cameron was a HUGE help by washing off the table and setting it. While I was trying to get my gravy to boil, Cam asked, "Mom, big forks or little ones?"

Now something random you should know about me....I don't CARE what size fork I eat with. Truly, I don't. In fact, I almost PREFER a smaller fork over the huge one.

But in the end, I left the choice up to Cameron. I said, "I don't care...." Truly meaning that I did NOT care one way or the other.

When we sat down to eat, Steve traded forks with Cam. Steve, apparently a different creature from me, DOES care. He was just about to start eating when Cam whined, "What happened to my big fork!?"

At that point, Steve tossed the big fork back to Cameron, and then took back the smaller fork.

(Seriously, this whole thing just BAFFLES my mind....) Here I have a 10 year old fighting with his 33 year old father.

I think I said something to the fact that it REALLY didn't matter, did it? Why fight with a 10 year old over something SO stupid? Steve got all huffy and angry and suddenly got up and went upstairs.

Both boys watched their dad throw his tantrum and then asked me, "Mom, what's wrong with daddy?"

"Daddy's throwing a tantrum, he'll be back later...don't worry about him."

(I am NOT making this up....this is REALLY what happened....)

I'm still trying to figure out WHY this whole thing happened. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that Cameron and his daddy don't get along very well....but really, a FORK!? Next time, if you REALLY need that big fork and I have one, please, PLEASE take mine...I honestly DON'T care!

Gotta Clean

Jacob is one motivated little boy. Today while I was on the computer (only for 20 minutes, that's not long, is it?) Jake managed to get into something quite important.

I turned around to talk to the little boy and noticed the wet wipes were emptied from the package and laying all over the floor and entertainment center. When I asked Jake what he was doing he said, "I gotta clean!" Then he proceeded to "clean" the TV and the mirror.

I can't get mad at the boy, because he's got a good point, the house DOES need cleaned, but I just think there's a better choice than wet wipes.

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On a side-note, I've been reading a REALLY good book that has me looking at motherhood a little differently (probably why I didn't freak out when Jake emptied the wipes....) It's called For Every Mother: Celebrating all ages and stages of motherhood. The author is wonderful. She's the mother of 10 children, so she DEFINITELY is an expert in motherhood. This book is filled with short excerpts, stories and poems that will make you think a little differently about being a mom. I know that I'm trying harder to enjoy those moments I used to dread with my own boys.

If you're struggling with being a mom, finding that you are upset and feeling overwhelmed most of the time, check out this book....it's truly wonderful.