I'm SO Bad With Blogging

I feel shame, but not enough shame to really and truly change my ways.

I don't blog anymore. I just don't. It's not because my life has gotten any better, it hasn't. It's because Facebook is just easier to get that instant gratification.

So, in the spirit of actually writing a post, here's an update.

We have a new dog. Rusty wasn't working out. He kept tackling Jacob anytime that he went out the back door, and we were prisoners to the dog. He was also a biter. I could almost live with the holes he dug in the back yard, the constant jumping, and no grass, but the biting was the last straw. 

When we went camping, one of my aunts brought up her new puppies, Jugs. (Jack Russell Terriers and Pugs) They were SO cute, and not at all what I thought a pug-mix should have looked like. My aunt had gotten her puppies from my other aunt. The next time I saw my aunt I waltzed up to her and said, "Hey, I LOVE your Jugs." People who didn't know what I was talking about looked at me like I was nuts. 

Anyway, long story short, she gave us her last Jug puppy. She wanted to keep him, but had too many other dogs and her work wasn't helping either. He came named, however. His name is Fenton (after the dude who hates Fez on "That 70's Show.") He is lots of fun, and has the sweetest personality. He does get extremely hyper at times, but we all giggle when he chases his tail or runs in fast circles in the middle of the floor. The boys love him (almost too much) and he loves them. No matter what they do to him, he doesn't snap at them, or hurt them (unless he's playing...) 

Which leads me to my next update: Jake almost lost his right ear a few months ago. I was canning plum jam (from our AMAZING plum tree and at a good friend's house) and didn't pay attention to Jacob playing with Fenton. Fenton got a little rough, and scratched Jake's ear. I didn't think much of it, because Jake is quite dramatic, and he cries a lot. Soon I checked it though, and noticed his ear was sliding down. Thankfully, I got an appointment at our pediatrician's office and they glued and steri-stripped the boy's ear. He now has a slight bump, but is doing well. He's also more careful around the dog. 

Cameron turned 12 last month. It was a huge milestone. He became a deacon and passed the sacrament at church for the first time. He got a little turned around the first time, and looked to us for help. There really isn't any way we could have helped him, so a sweet priest, who was also blessing the sacrament, came down, and gently guided Cam around where he was supposed to go. I was an emotional mess. I truly felt that this is how Christ would have helped my son. He would have gently guided him and just loved him. I wanted to jump up and give that priest a hug, but as it was, I told him thank you after church. Cam has done marvelously since then. 

Cameron also has a PSR worker (Psychosocial Rehabilitation). His first PSR worker was nice, but didn't really do much good. She would take him to the office where he would play games with other kids, and really, that's not what he needed. So I had a talk with his counselor (he's new too....a whole lot of changes happened all at once...) and we decided that Cameron needed guidance in the mornings and evenings, when his medication is not in his system. So he got a new PSR worker (who is male) and he comes every other morning and helps Mr. Cameron with his morning routine. He can get Cameron to do things that he would NEVER do with me, which is great and a bummer at the same time. He is also a counselor, so he's got an arsenal of tools to help him. Cam is doing fantastic now. He's so grown up, mentally and physically. He's only 5 inches shorter than me!! 

Steve started college a few months back. He's doing an online program, and is very motivated to get good grades. As of right now, he's got a 99.16%. He's so proud of himself, and is enjoying it. (As I write, he's doing his assignment. I'm so proud of this man!) 

He and I did another class together: Love and Logic. I would love to tell you that I am a genius in this area, but really, I struggle. I love the techniques that actually give me words in specific situations, because I am NOT creative. Thankfully, I married a creative man. He is a better father and husband...and I attribute that to this class. I really need a refresher daily, but will settle with reading my book and looking online. My boys don't really know what to do with us when we use it on them. 

Finally, I have a new/old calling: I'm our ward's Primary Chorister. Yes, I've done this calling before, and yes, I can do it again. I just need to gear myself up for it again. I've lost a lot of the skills I had developed the last time I did it. I CAN do it though, and I will. 

We are truly grateful for this past year. We have been in our home for almost a year, and it's been wonderful. We are so blessed. 

Kid Funnies

I have had a couple of funny kid moments happen tonight, I MUST preserve them!! 

At dinner, Cam was nearly in tears. Summer school ended today and the child is highly anxious. He looked at me and on the verge of tears said, "Mom, what are we going to do for the rest of the summer?" 

I stared at him, blankly, and replied, "Nothing." 

He started to cry at this point and said, "REALLY!?"

I thought I'd be funny, and tease him to stop him from crying, so I said, "Well, we could sit on our thumbs all summer." 

Jake thought it was funny and started laughing.

Cameron looked at me dubiously and asked, "Really, mom. What are we going to do?" 

Jake said, "SIT ON OUR THUMBS!!" 

I said, "Yup, we'll sit on our thumbs, maybe we'll have a farting contest...." 

At this point, I made a disclaimer, "IF you try TOO hard, you might poo, but it could be fun...." Then Jake and I strained and made funny noises....

Jake then said, "Um....I peed." 

Yup, he'd peed his pants trying to force a fart. Guess that will show me not to tease when I can't live with the consequences. 

Then after bathing Jake and putting him in pajamas (the previous conversation happened at the dinner table....I know, totally appropriate, right?) he came over to me, leaned on my arm and said, "Mom, I figured out why dad's DS won't work." 

Earlier I had tried getting Steve's Nintendo DS to work so that Jake could play with it...it wouldn't work for ANYTHING. I'm sure that there's some glob of goo in there that's throwing things off. Anyway, I'd given up.

So I asked Jake why he thought it wasn't working. He looked RIGHT into my eyes and said, "It's because I've been playing it for FIVE years." 

I coughed a bit and said, "What did you say?"

He repeated, "I've been playing it for years."

"No, how many years did you say?"

"Five..."

"Jake, you're only 4, I'm impressed!" 

Yup, my boys are silly!! 

Newest Member of Our Family

It's been a while since I decided to give up. Maybe not long enough though.

Steve had been telling me for a while that he's wanted a dog for his birthday. Initially I said NO! After the kitty problems at Christmas-time I was not prepared mentally for a pet. Then I started looking at dogs online and thought, "why not." (Sometimes I wonder why I think like this...)

Anyway, my brother called me one night and asked if we wanted a dog. I told him that we might, but Steve should approve it, since it would be HIS birthday present. My brother took the dog over to Steve (who was working at the time) and Steve fell instantly in love. He brought the dog home that night (around 3 am...it was a VERY long night.) 

In the last month we've had quite an adventure. We went through many names before settling on Rusty. He is named that because he has rust colored spots on his face and legs. 

The boys love him. The first thing they do when we come home is run to the back door and ask Rusty if he missed them. The dog reciprocates by jumping on them and whining or barking. After one day the dog had officially accepted us as his people. He loves the boys (which is HUGE, since they're not always nice to him) and he REALLY loves me. The sad part is that he doesn't love Steve as much. 

Right now the dog is going through puppy acts and teething. He bites and chews on nearly everything. Just today I found a Nerf football SHREDDED under the computer desk. I have plenty of dog toys and raw hides for the dog, but he prefers Jake's toys. 

He is a fun dog, but not quite as bright as he could be....

We love our newest member of the family. 

Me and My Mama

Love her SO much. Happy Mother's Day!! 

The Boys that Make me a Mommy

Love these guys SO much. 

Winding Down

I feel bad that I don't post here very often anymore. I wonder if it's time to put the blog to bed, and start up with a regular journal. 

Something to think about...

My Time in Prison

About a month ago, I had one of the most special experiences EVER, and I don't know why I forgot to share it here, but now MUST be the time. 

After Time Out for Women, I was on a Spiritual high. I was happy, I was also working on the whole forgiveness thing, but things were about to get MORE Spiritual, and MORE emotional. I was invited to go to the Women's prison for a special fireside put on by one of my good friends. She was going to share her personal story with these women about her journey from prison bars to temple walls. 

I have to admit, when I first volunteered to go to the prison, read through their list of rules and filled out the papers, I was SO nervous. What kind of place was I going to? Were the women going to bully me? Were they all scary looking, covered in tattoos with piercings and short spiky hair? What was I getting myself into?

All of those emotions left me as we pulled into the parking lot. 

I was more excited to hear my friend's amazing story, and help support HER. She was so nervous, and who could blame her, really? She was reliving all of those emotions she'd had when she had gone to prison the first time. We reassured her that this time she would be able to leave WITH us, and that she was there to inspire those women. She was doing a good thing, and we would be with her 100%. 

We walked through the metal detectors, got scanned, then waited to be let inside. We walked the blue line to the gym to find that some inmates had set up the chairs, ready for our arrival. My friend asked us (my friends J and D) to sit on the front row, right where she could see us, then began one of the most precious, amazing things I had ever attended. Before my friend spoke, we got to shake hands with some of the women. It was against the rules to hug or give them items, so a friendly smile and handshake were ALL that we could offer. Many women looked just like anyone else I would meet. Neatly combed hair, beautiful eyes....the only difference was that these women were wearing jumpsuits. 

As my friend told of her story and the miracle that is the Atonement of Christ, I felt the spirit of these women. THEY were the ones who were humble and teachable. They were amazing to behold. 

After my friend spoke, the women were allowed to share their testimonies or experiences. I didn't have enough tissues to wipe the tears that were shed. These women now felt hope and strength that someone had been where they are, and came out on the other side with hope and happiness. 

I learned a lot about judging others. I learned that we are truly all children of God. That he loves us all unconditionally. He wants ALL of us to repent and return to live with Him. There is hope for all of us, those with big, red, ugly sins, and those who only have the red kind. He truly will forgive us all, and loves all of us. 

A month later I barely remember the names of the women we met. I don't remember much of the words that were said, but the ONE thing that has stuck with me is the feeling of being in the presence of angels. Angels in jumpsuits, who are just trying to do what we all do....fix our mistakes, and move on. Their faces and spirit will FOREVER be apart of my life. I'm SO grateful for them, and their acceptance of someone so judgmental and imperfect.

Stuck

We've had an adventure today already....and it's only 9:30. 

I woke up a little earlier than I usually do and went upstairs. Cameron got ready and the morning started pretty typical. Then when Cameron was dressed, he came into the family room and said, "Mom, I keep hearing meowing." 

 I said, "Oh, it's probably outside...." and then I heard it.

It was in my house. 

I listened to figure out where it was, and once I opened up my fireplace insert, I knew. The cat was stuck IN my chimney on top of my insert. 

I have to admit, I freaked out a bit. The boys were cooing to the cat while simultaneously asking if we could keep the cat. I didn't know what to do or who to call. 

I went and woke up Steve. I told him there was a cat stuck in the chimney, and asked him what we should do. He groaned and I told him, "No, really....there's a cat stuck in the chimney." 

I immediately got on Facebook, asking for advice. Someone suggested that we call the non-emergency police or animal control. Well, I decided to call the police and then maybe THEY would direct me where to go. It turns out our local non-emergency number is also animal control. The dispatcher promised to find someone to come out. 

About a half hour later (Steve had been working on getting the cat out the whole time...) animal control arrived. Jake instantly hugged the man, I'm sure it was because he knew he'd save the kitty. 

Then they went to work. 

Mr. Animal Control had a 6 foot long noose stick that he tried to grab the cat with, but it wasn't long enough. He called for the longer stick. 

At this point, Cameron was gone to school, and we had 3 people working on the problem. I called my mom and asked to borrow a drill of some sort in case we needed to remove our insert to save the cat. My brother had something, and I left to get it. 

When I came home, Animal control was gone, and the cat was out. We had thought that it was a kitten that had gotten stuck, but it was a full-grown fluffy, gray cat. The cat had a collar, so it has an owner....

I was told once the cat got out that it wanted to run. (Who could blame him?) 

We now need to get some chicken wire and cover our chimneys, otherwise this will happen to us, again!!! 

Sticking With It

...parenting, that is.

Monday night we had a big blow up with Mr. Cameron. In the last year he's shot up about a foot or so in height, he's inches from being as tall as his short mother. When I have to drag him anywhere (which isn't very often) it looks ridiculous. Anyway, he refused to come home with me from Grandma's house. I gave him multiple chances, and finally I'd had enough fighting, so I drove home....leaving him screaming on my mom's front yard. I couldn't very well drag him into the car...he's getting too big, and WAY too old for that. I was reamed the whole way home by a certain-almost-4-year-old, and I told that same boy that you do NOT treat your mommy badly, or something like THIS would happen.

I got home and called Steve to pick Cameron up, and told him what happened. He was NOT happy...at all.

Earlier in the evening my mom had mentioned that if Cameron wasn't good, then he couldn't go out to dinner with us the next night for my youngest brother's birthday, so I figured that was as good of a punishment as any other, and grounded Cameron from the birthday dinner.

I was scared.

I've never left my kids at home alone for ANY reason. I thought about hiring a babysitter, but remembered that it was mutual night (when youth between 12-18 participate in fun activities at our church). I couldn't pull anyone away from that. So I decided that it was time he stayed home alone, after all, why should I be punished for his tantrum?

I prepped the boy all afternoon. He could watch TV, if he got scared he could even go to my bedroom....

Then came the time to leave. I left a sticky note on the computer monitor with Steve's cell phone number, told him to only call in case of an emergency, and then I left.

The sad face chased me out of the house. I wanted to run to him, tell him how sorry I was for being so tough with him, and hug his little body, but I couldn't. I'd said something, and I NEEDED to stick with it. If not for HIS sake then for mine.

I had to practice singing a song with some ladies, so I went to dinner late. When I got to the restaurant, Steve informed me that Cam had called 10 times. So much for emergencies....

Dinner was a rushed event for me. I didn't want to make the boy more miserable than necessary, just enough to teach him a lesson that he can't act that way and plan on getting away with it. We could have gone to visit my mom afterward, but I was done making the boy wait. We went home and he was waiting AT the window for us.

He promised me that he will not act that way again. I told him that I hoped so, and we were done. I'm sure this is one lesson that he will remember for a VERY long time. Now he'll know that I mean what I say...even if it's the hardest thing in the world for ME!

Sassy

I was in the mood for something new, so I asked my favorite hair-stylist to cut me short with something fun. I can say that I absolutely LOVE this hair cut. I haven't had something this fun in YEARS!! (And the best part was getting all of the compliments at church yesterday....can we say "ego boost?!")

Forgiveness is Liberating

For a while now, I've been struggling with my bitter feelings for another. I had thought that I had already forgiven them and moved on, but when I saw this person I was suddenly overcome with feelings of anger and bitterness. I was NOT pleasant to be around. I thought bad thoughts about the other person, and I KNEW that I needed to truly forgive and move on.

I mentioned Time Out for Women and Sister Pierce's talk. I was already working on these feelings. The bitterness was more in my heart than in my head. I already KNEW what I needed, but I needed my heart to agree.

Then came General Conference. It was marvelous. There were SO many talks that spoke to this exact subject. Forgiveness. It was something that I must have needed to hear.

On Sunday morning one talk hit me particularly hard. It was from President Uchtdorf. I must admit, I have a bit of a crush on him, and I love to hear his talks. He always makes me feel happier and more uplifted after his sermons.

Anyway, part way through he spoke about harboring bad feelings for others. Judging others and having unChristlike feelings. Then he spoke his magical sermon:

"This topic of judging others could actually be taught in a two-word sermon. When it comes to hating, gossiping, ignoring, ridiculing, holding grudges, or wanting to cause harm, please apply the following:

"Stop it!

"It’s that simple. We simply have to stop judging others and replace judgmental thoughts and feelings with a heart full of love for God and His children."

That was all it took for me. I thought about how silly I'd been, harboring these rotten feelings and feeding them over and over....stop it. I thought about how I'd perceived the actions of this other and realized that it was most likely my bitter attitude that made her seem so angry. I'd decided that I had better give her the benefit of the doubt and move on.

And that was the main key: I CAN MOVE ON! I don't have to worry about her life. I don't have to feel angry that she's having happy things happen to her. I can simply live my life, wish her well, and move on.

I feel like a 2-ton weight has been lifted. It's SO wonderful.

Since I'm not crafty, I tend to "borrow" from others. On this blog, there are many of the top quotes from Conference. I'm definetly sharing my new one:

New Friends

This weekend was quite eventful for me. I attended Time Out For Women, a religious event held annually. I've never gone before, but my new friends in my church encouraged me to go, so I did. I had NO idea how wonderfully I would be spiritually fed. It was absolutely wonderful.

Friday night 3 speakers participated: John Bytheway, Virginia Pierce, and Macy Robison. John Bytheway is ALWAYS fun to hear. He makes me laugh so much. That night's topic was marinating yourself in the good. (You might have needed to hear the talk to get the topics...) Virginia Pierce is the daughter of President and Sister Hinckley, she SO looks like both of them. Her topic hit me RIGHT between the eyes: forgiveness. It was absolutely wonderful. Then Macy interspersed the evening with song and her story. It was wonderful as well. I left feeling VERY uplifted and thrilled for the next day.

A little aside, I was a carpool driver for ladies in my ward. I'm VERY new, and don't know where people live....yet. I was left alone with my last person, who happens to be blind. SWEET, sweet woman. Anyway, I had picked her up earlier in the day, so I had a general idea of where she lived. Anyway, I took her to the house and told her that I was dropping her off in the driveway. She was fine with that, and I waited as she walked to the house, felt around a bit, then turned and walked back. I asked her if something was wrong and she said, "That screen didn't feel like mine, I think we're at the wrong house." Oh, my GOSH!! I was so thoroughly embarrassed. I quickly found out that I had dropped her off one house too early. (If there was a forehead slapping emoticon, I'd use it here....) She was very sweet about it, and I literally laughed the way home. It was QUITE funny, and I can now say that I will NEVER forget where she lives....EVER!

The next day I had breakfast with my ward ladies and then we went to the event. The whole day was just wonderful. I thought for SURE that it would drag on, but it went by super quick. The rest of the speakers were: Jericho Road, Emily Watts (substituting for Kris Belcher, who I HOPE to hear someday....), Mary Ellen Edmunds, Kelly Ogden, Merrilee Boyack (who I was SO excited to hear from, she wrote a book that literally changed my marriage....and made me laugh at the same time) and finally Emily Freeman. All the talks were inspiring and wonderful. The theme for the whole weekend was "Seek the Good." And truly, I found good and want to keep it always.

I will touch a bit on Merrilee's talk. I have wanted to hear from her since I saw her name on the line-up. She is one of my favorite authors. I actually REALLY want to read my book by her again, just so I can laugh and learn at the same time. Anyway, her topic was wonderful. She talked about giving out the good and spreading it around. I can't remember her exact phrase-ology, but it was something like, "Give out just 5 nanoseconds." It doesn't take much to make someone else's day. Saying a simple, "I love you and appreciate what you do." Or "You're so pretty/handsome/beautiful/funny...." Or "I'm so glad you're my friend (or in my family)." Those things don't take much time, but a purposeful count of 5 is what she made us raise our right hands and promise to do. I will say, that my morning was FABULOUS, because I'm using my 5 nano-seconds on my boys and husband. Cameron just about beamed out of his clothes with the simple praise I was giving him. I truly appreciated her message, and was lucky enough to go squeeze her and tell her that I appreciate her. She again encouraged me to do my 5 nano-seconds, and I said that I was most eager to do it on my boys and she said I reminded her that we could get our children doing it as well....she then thanked me. I have to say, I was a bit star-struck, and honestly, no one really truly would know her if they didn't go to TOFW or know her from her books.

I bonded quite well with ladies from my ward and have made some absolute GEM friends. I'm so blessed.

What a great weekend. I can't wait to get my DVD copy of it so I can relive all the wonderful words/feelings and thoughts of this weekend.

****************

Today we had some friends from church invite us over tonight to play games. I'm SO grateful they did. We had a blast. The boys had fun as well (Jake's decided that their daughter is his girlfriend.....SO cute!) Anyway, I think we're settling into this ward VERY well, and I'm so grateful.

Grandpa

Two weeks ago, I got a call from my mom. I could tell she was upset. She told me that my grandpa, her dad, had died. I was in shock. He has been living in a facility for the last 3 years and my mom mentioned that he'd been falling down lately. He also had dementia/Alzheimers. It was hard to see him forget things.

On Thanksgiving I was taking him home. It took him 15 minutes to figure out how to climb into my car. I was frustrated because he wouldn't allow me to help him, and so after 12 minutes I went inside to get a step-stool, by the time I got out he was in and buckled.

I'd actually spent quite a bit of time with him because my mom and uncle made sure that he was included.

The last time I talked to grandpa I was picking up my uncle from his weekly visit. Grandpa was sitting in his chair watching Disney Channel. (My uncle's idea, I'm sure.) I gave grandpa a hug and kiss like I always did and he invited me to stay. I told him that I had to get my boys home and in bed, but that I loved him and would see him later.

Nothing big, but I do feel bad.

We had all the family here last week. That was fun. We stayed up late talking and laughing. It took quite a toll on my little 3 year old. He's been grumpy and throws tantrums at the drop of a hat. I think once he catches up on his sleep things will mellow again.

Cameron took it hard. He knew what death was and cried. I told him that things were going to be okay, because grandpa was with grandma again and he could remember. That's the thought that got me through the week leading up to his funeral. He was happy. I knew that.

Then came the viewing. I wasn't there, but mom and dad took Jake with them. I hadn't discussed any of this with him because he's too young to understand and I didn't want to make him unduly sad. When he saw Grandpa in the casket, he said, "That's GRANDPA!" Then he was sad. My mom explained that he was happy and with grandma again. Jake then said, "But why did he have to die?"

How can you answer that one?

The viewing was quite fun...as grandma's had been. We laughed and talked. I swear, those viewings were the LOUDEST things I've ever attended.

The next day was the funeral. I knew that since I hadn't cried that the tears were coming....boy, did they EVER come. I lost it during the opening song, "O My Father." I realized that I will miss him dearly and won't be able to hug him again. It was sad, but then I also remembered how happy he is. It was a mix of emotions.

We slowly said good-bye to family after that. It was great to see them, but sad to see them go home. Good thing we have a reunion this year.

Grandpa was a great man who worked hard for his family. He knew the importance of making memories with his kids, and did it....frequently.

Good bye, Grandpa....until we meet again.

Cam's New Braces

Before:

After:

Isn't he just too cute?

Tooth Month

I hate that my blog has become something I don't update nearly as often as I probably should. This month has just FLOWN by. I blame it on all the orthodontist and dental visits.

Cameron has been seeing the orthodontist for a few years now. A few years ago, they told me that he would most definitely need braces (he literally has a tooth on the roof of his mouth and his canines are so far UP or DOWN on his gums it's ridiculous...) They quoted me a price and we let it go. I wanted to pay for the braces all at once, because there was a 10% discount. Who wouldn't love to save nearly $500?

Anyway, we put it off a few years, and at his last appointment, the orthodontist told us that he would be ready to go at his next appointment, and we should set up our payments.

Thank heaven for tax refunds....but boo that over half of the refund went to pay for braces.

Anyway, Cam had been playing with his space-maintainer. He'd flicked it with his tongue so much that it was standing up instead of laying down. I called the orthodontist and we went in the next day. After the orthodontist checked him out, he called me back. He said, "He's good to go on the braces, and doesn't even need this space maintainer." Then he pulled out the little bar and we were off on the braces train. I paid for the braces. Biggest, ugliest check I've ever written. Then we set up the appointments. I figured his teeth would need to be cleaned, so we set up a dental appointment. He had a cavity and instead of fighting him in the office, they set him up for a dental surgery. We've done the dental surgery MANY times in the past, but we went to a new facility. They wanted a doctor's approval before surgery, and the surgery was kind of quick notice, so we saw the dentist, went to the doctor, and then did the dental surgery all in 2 days' time. He did well, and was good to go.

Today we got his x-rays, molds and spacers placed. Next Monday he'll be getting the braces. He's excited....he doesn't know WHAT he's in for.

On top of Cam's dental problems, Jake's had issues. One morning while giving him a bath, I noticed that one of his caps was missing from his front teeth. (Quick note, when Jake was 18 months, he had dental surgery to cover his severely thin and rotten front teeth. They grew in rotted, it was quite sad.) I called the dentist, and they had him come in the next day. Jake was VERY brave. He went back to the seat all by himself, and sat still while they cleaned his teeth. I was in the waiting room worrying whether he was okay. After he was done with the cleaning, they brought me back. He had MANY cavities and they asked how he'd do with in-office visits to fix them. I worried that he'd get frustrated with it, and asked about getting him set up for dental surgery. The dentist agreed, and we set it up, but not for MANY weeks. Funny enough, Jake's dental dilemma was WAY before Cam's, but Jake is STILL waiting to go in for surgery.

This week, Jake will get his surgery, and then I'll only have the braces to worry about.

Welcome to tooth month in my home.

Trying New Foods

Yesterday, Jake and I went to the store. As soon as we got to the produce section, we saw something interesting. It sort of looked like a pomegranate that had a bad hair day. We were looking at them when someone who works in the produce section came up to talk to us. He said they'd cut up one the day before to try it, and it looked like a pale kiwi on the inside and tasted pretty bland, kind of like an apple or pear.

I'm ALL for new foods, so we bought two. (Mostly because I really wanted Cameron to see this funny fruit.) Jake marched through the store talking about our dragon fruit.

Today I cut it up to eat it for lunch. I have to admit, I'm not a huge fan. It's REALLY bland, and would probably be best if put into a fruit salad where it can look pretty, because that's what it does best....look pretty.

I'm Spoiled

For the past month, Steve has been working on my Valentine's Day present. I've been frustrated, well, because I knew he was putting SO much work into it, and I knew my gift would pale in comparison....yup, I was right.

The vase says: "I'll Love you until the last one dies"

Yup, spoiled rotten.

Happy Valentine's Day!!

Just For Fun

I'm doing a photo challenge for the month. It gives a different object/time/thing to photograph each day. I have SUCH a hard time taking pictures, so I figure that I should at least TRY to improve.

Today's topic was "front door." I have one of those!! :)

Here's my attempts. (And yes, it's all just for fun!)

What? A Video???

Yup, I'm attempting to share more of my life with you all.

This was our little adventure tonight: Steve wanted the boys to try Jack in the Box's new shake flavor.....bacon. YUP! Bacon, as in "meat!" It's pretty tasty if you ask me....but just ask my boys:

And the second part....

Yes, we're evil. Thanks for asking.

Being Led By the Spirit

I've had a few experiences in the last week that have shown me that I can truly help others when I follow the Spirit. It's been quite humbling and exhilarating at the same time to realize that I've been the way Heavenly Father has been able to answer others' prayers.

On Sunday we mixed things up with our church schedule. Usually we go to Sacrament meeting, Sunday School and then Relief Society/Priesthood. This week we switched the last two hours. In Relief Society we watched a beautiful video about working on our own family history....finding those of our family who belong to us. I "leaked" through the story about a couple with four teens. They were struggling and the husband admitted that they might get divorced. The video was following actual people, so it wasn't a story that someone had written. Anyway, the couple worked on doing their family history together and began to get closer. Then at the end of the video the couple ended up getting sealed in the temple. It was absolutely a beautiful story.

Then we went to Sunday School. I hate to admit, but all through church, I was feeling sleepy and thought I might fall asleep if I had to sit still through one more class. We started out with a very good discussion talking about whining vs. murmuring vs. speaking up. One brother talked about how his young son had whined that he didn't want to go to his Primary class, then at that moment we heard loud whining in the hallway. His wife was out trying to wrangle that little boy and keep him happy and calm. We all kind of giggled at that, and went on. As we were going on a thought came to me, "You need to go out there and help." It was VERY strong and VERY persistent. I calmly put my scriptures away, gathered up my big bag and went into the hallway. I saw the look of frustration on the mom's face and asked, "Can I help you? I feel like I need to." She laughed and said that another sister said the same thing. We went to a table and pulled things out of my giant church bag. The things I had in there weren't necessarily things I would usually have, because I don't like taking treats to church, but I took them because we were supposed to have choir practice and my boys get a little whiny and rambunctious during that time. I gave this little boy some animal crackers and he instantly stopped crying. The other woman and I shooed the mom off to Sunday School and we proceeded to play with this little guy. We played cars, raced them, laughed when they drove off the table and then talked a lot. He didn't scream again for the rest of the class.

I honestly don't know why I needed to help him, other than I THINK that he would have kept screaming if I hadn't gone out with my cookies. But his mom got to enjoy Sunday School with her husband and not worry about her little boy.

Last night I had a voice mail from the lady that helped us do our lending. She sounded quite frantic and frustrated. She said she was trying to track down a check that our insurance company had sent for $412. She wondered if we had it.

I called her back, leaving her a message, that yes, we had gotten a check for $412, and that it was sitting quietly in our escrow account.

Here's the whole story.

A few weeks after we'd moved into our home, our homeowners insurance company sent us this large check. Steve had checked the mail, and was pleased that we were blessed with this extra money. He hid it from me, planning on surprising me with a Kindle Fire or an iPad for Christmas. Well, he couldn't hide it for long, and after 3 days showed it to me. I was INSTANTLY worried. I knew that we shouldn't be getting an extra check, and that we had JUST bought the home. I worried that we might lose our insurance or something else would happen.

I called the insurance agent and he suggested that we call our mortgage company and have them put it into our escrow account. I called the mortgage company and sent them the check. This was well over a month ago, and I haven't thought a thing of it since.

At the same time another couple, who'd just bought their home, got a cancellation notice on their homeowners insurance. Their premium wasn't paid at all. This was a more than a little frustrating to them, I'm sure, and they called our friend Julz.

Apparently, the title company accidentally paid OUR insurance (which is the same company) with THEIR money.

At the time I was putting the money back into escrow, I never felt good about *just* spending it. I only felt peace once it was safely tucked away, where we couldn't spend it.

Again, the Spirit works in mysterious ways.

My friend told me that I was one in a million, because anyone else would have spent that money. I explained the situation to her and how I knew it wasn't right to spend it. She said that it was a miracle, because they never hear about those kinds of things happening.

I don't know why I was so blessed to be the one to help others, but I'm grateful and happy that I listened.

Random Thoughts

**Today I woke up with a thought, "Be productive. Do more than you have been. You can do this!" So I woke up doing *some* of the FlyLady tips. I got out of bed, made my half (the other half was being slept in by a cute man), went to the laundry room and found my clothes for the day, got dressed, combed through my mane of hair, then went upstairs and got to work.

My mantra was different today too. Usually my only thought is, "Survive....you can make it through this temper tantrum. Things will get easier once everyone is sleeping again...." (Yes, I say this all day long, and usually it just makes me more anxious and more uptight.) Today my new thought was: "I am a powerful, yet under-control woman. I am the boss, CEO and leader of my family. I will show a good example and I will NOT fight." For the first hour or so of the day, it worked. (I have to admit, as my day went on, and fuses got shorter, my mantra changed to "It will be okay, you can try harder later.")

Before Cameron went to school I had taken care of the kitchen garbage, fed Jake breakfast (before the asking/begging began), set things up to do dishes and had calmly diffused 3 fights between the boys.

GO ME!

All through the day I did little things: dishes, mopping the floors, sweeping, unloading boxes....and I felt like I was QUEEN of the world. I had done SO much more than I've been doing and it was wonderful.

I do NOT want to lose my momentum. I mentally made the goal to wake up earlier than I do now and get myself ready before I have to get the boys ready. I've also made a goal to sleep better. It will be hard, but I can do hard things.

**I'm also extremely sensitive to comments right now. I don't have ANY sympathy for people who are having pity parties, and don't like being accused of having one myself. I had commented on a friend's status on FaceBook, and someone said, "Oh, I think ***** wins the pity party...." Like I was whining?? I thought what I said was funny, not whiny. I was less than pleased about it.

Then I go to my favorite place online, where my friends are, and people are having pity parties left and right.

I am beyond frustrated. I want to say, "You know, the world doesn't revolve around you. Get over yourself...you'll be SO much happier...." But I won't say it, because I would hurt feelings and that is NOT my goal here.

**After a month in this ward, we got the call today that the bishop would like to visit with us. I don't know if it's a get-to-know-you type visit, or if it's a calling-issuing visit, but we shall see. I'm truly loving our new ward. Don't get me wrong, I love and miss my old friends and old ward, but this new one is SO friendly and welcoming. I have yet to find someone I can connect with, but there are a lot of friendly women who have invited me to many things. I'm excited for this new adventure.

I Just KNEW There Had To Be a Reason We Don't Live in Austrailia...

Jake was sitting on my lap (like he likes to do) and was being silly. Then I asked him, "Do you know what we should have for lunch?"
(At this point, I'd expected him to say a sandwich or noodles....)

"Yes," he said.

"Really? What?"

He hesitated for a second and then he exclaimed, "KANGAROO!"

Uh, erm....

"Silly boy, I didn't get any of that..."

"You're the kangaroo..." Then he proceeded to "eat" me.

Let's Take a Small Tour of our New Home

We've been in the house for a month, and you'd think in that time, I'd have everything JUST how I want it, right?

Well....

The kitchen is still mostly boxes and I don't have my pictures hung. (When I've moved in the past, this is one of the first things I do....but right now? Not so much...) I'm still trying to figure out where I want things hung. It will come, I promise....

For now, enjoy the little tour:

Living Room/Dining room:

Jake's bedroom (where the toys are kept...)

Cameron's bedroom (where the books are kept, and for some reason, my craft dresser...)

Kitchen

(see, this is my main pile...)

Office area in the family room

Rest of the Family Room

Is It REALLY So Easy to Change?

New Year almost always equals new resolutions. Some may want a hot new bod, some want to be more frugal, others want to give more of themselves....Me? I want to be a better mommy and wife to those I see every day.

I will admit, I'm an angry person. When my kids do things they're not supposed to, I yell and lecture them. When I need them to do something, I usually yell it at them, or plead over and over....and then I get no results so I resort to yelling at them because I'm angry.

I'm SO tired of it.

Being angry so often is exhausting.

My resolution WILL happen...it must. I want a happy home. I want to be able to tell my kids things and have them obey quickly and happily.

So far today, I've already yelled at the boys (they woke up WAY too early, and fought for an hour, all the while banging and throwing things around and screaming and yelling...) BUT I've also tried to stay calm and talk to them instead of lecturing. I must learn to pick my fights well. I need to let the little stuff go and focus on the big picture.

I can do this....I MUST!