For those of you who know me only online, I have a secret to share with you, I'm fat! Yes, I'm HUGE!! There are days I look at myself in the mirror and think, "If only I knew where the skinny lady in my head lived..." Yes, I may be fat, but in my head I'm thin and can do ANYTHING!
I know that my weight has been part of what has been holding me back baby-wise, but if someone were to point that out, I have a hard time admitting it.
A few weeks ago, that pain came out in a very awkward way.
I have a playgroup that I take Cameron to. The fun part about this "playgroup" is that it's also a fun time for me to sit and talk with other women who are struggling with the same things I'm struggling with.
A few weeks ago I had mentioned my infertility problem. After I had told my whole story to these women, I was bombarded with "friendly advice." What I didn't know was that two of the women felt like they could offer me advice because they are experts. The first one is a nurse. She told me that if I lost some weight I would be able to get pregnant NO problem! Since I felt like I had opened myself up for this type of criticism, I kept my mouth shut. But in the back of my mind I KNEW that this would be the advice she would give. It's not like I live in a bubble of perfect-life....I KNOW that my weight is holding me back. After her schpeal, another woman jumped up and offered her expertise: dietitian.
This woman told me what would be good to eat, and what wouldn't. She gave some very helpful hints, but nothing that I hadn't already heard before. What I FELT like saying was, "Thanks, but NO thanks."
If losing weight was easy, do you THINK I would be in this body?? Do you think that I would purposely CHOOSE to be the way I am?? (The worst thing about their advice?? They're both SUPER skinny, like they've been thin their whole lives, excepting pregnancy, and it's just SO easy!)
I thought that after this ONE playdate that the subject had been addressed, and no more mention would be made....unfortunately I was WRONG!!
Last week the nurse said to me, once again, "If you lost the weight you could be pregnant." I just wanted to smack her. (Not that I did, but I REALLY wanted to!)
Why is it that people who know NOTHING of your situation feel the need to offer unwanted advice?? How can I approach this woman again, I KNOW she will be at the next playgroup, but I really don't want to start a fight or anything....
I'm just really feeling my weight right now....but don't tell me to lose it, because I just might cyber-smack you!
12 comments:
Whaaa??? I can't stand people that 1st of all- are thin without trying. 2nd of all- think they need to offer advice at all. How about a simple "(((hugs))), that must be so hard..." or whatever.
I'm sorry these ladies are so rude.
Found u thru Suzanne...
We're not fat! We're fluffy!
I would assert myself and tell her that yes, while I opened up that subject for discussion, I'm uncomfortable with discussing it further. When they keep bringing it up... stttteeeer it into another direction: Global warming! The weight of poop! Gas prices going down! Remind them that there's more fascinating things to discuss besides your weight!
If all else fails, just smack the skinny minnies! I'm not trying to promote violence...but there's nothing wrong with shaking the crap out of her. :)
Oh boy! Your outtings just get better and better. Seriously there is nothing worse than a skinny person who can eat whatever, whenever, and still be skinny telling you to lose weight. They should try it sometime before they offer their two-bits. It's not as easy for some of us. Sometimes, I wish I could just be a fly on the wall and watch the skinny people 24/7 just to see if they really do things differently from me or if its just natural. Hang in there, I think you are awesome! :)
Newbie - I wouldn't dream of offering advice [skinny person] but I do sympathise having lived in a family where all the women except me had weight issues. It's different 'sharing' rather than experiencing it first hand, but I can still empathise.
Best wishes
Although I can't even begin to experience what you've gone through with your infertiliy, I've definitely been there with the skinny chicks giving advice to me about how to go about losing weight. Why is it so difficult to do? I don't know. My aunt Judy said that losing weight was tougher than quitting smoking, and she smoked for about thirty years! Here's a hug from one fluffy gal to another! (Watch Gabriel Iglesias' stand up comedy, he is a cutie!!!)
Some people have no tact. At all. I'm sorry that you had to deal with these women! ***hugs***
Rude indeed. They may be skinny, but you're nice.
Man! That would drive me crazy. Of course, we all know that they "mean well," but it really does the exact opposite! It ends up being rather hurtful. If you can muster up the courage, I recommend you tell them exactly how you feel.... that you'd rather not talk about it with them any more. One Scrappy Gal's idea of a good smack is also rather appealing.
((hug))
** For the record, I also hate it when skinny people complain about their weight around us not-so-skinnies.
Thanks for all your fluffy hugs ladies! ;)
Thankfully, when I went to playgroup today NEITHER lady was there, and next week is the last playdate of the summer....so hopefully I won't have to see them again! :P
Oh, and KIM, Steve and I watched that guy on Comedy Central the other night....he's freakin' hilarious!! We were rolling all over laughing!! He's so GREAT!! LOL
I'm fat......and I'm about to spend next weekend surrounded by the beautiful people of the bloggy world.
I wish it was Halloween and I could go in that shower curtain costume that The Karate Kid used.
Did I ever tell you that I think you're brave for writing this? I won't even put my picture up on my blog.
You know, poo on them. I lost 70 pounds (have regained 30 of it), and it DID NOT HELP. I did not get pregnant, I do not have a baby less than 3 yrs old. I kept it (weight) off for more than a year, before we started the invitro crap. I know I'm fat- and if all the "advice" actually worked, don't people think I would be skinny? ARGH!
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